Burdened
by Authors Tune
Summary: Set in the wake of the hospital shooting, Arizona's complex past becomes progressively exposed and presents difficulties for her and Callie.
1. Prologue

**Burdened**

Multi-Chapter Fic

**Warnings: **Some reference to violence and violence related injuries.

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><p><strong>Prologue<strong>

_Music blared through the small speakers, the resulting sound tinny and muffled. It pained even the untrained eardrum. The eighties rock bands were classic, though their tempo was frighteningly motivating to a thundering temper. _

_The thump to her cheekbone resonated, head pulsing to the beat of a bass drum. The coffee table prodded at her ribs, cartilage tearing on impact and her elbow shadowing the vase until it pierced the glass and found the cold tiles. Shards dug into skin and tissue, tiny pieces of violence that tore through her resilience, one by one. _

_Crimson tears spluttered the white flooring from various orifices; blood trails. A body loomed over her, fists clenched in an undeniable rage, face flushed._

_She froze, waiting. _

_It was always the unknown quantity within the fight or flight survival instinct. The one attribute that no one wants to have intrinsic to his or her reticular system. Yet, it's more common than not and established over years of biological development and emotional conditioning. The threats, whether real or imagined, start imprinting the subconscious responses from birth. _

_As a child, she had learned the value of slipping quietly into the background. It kept her out of trouble, out of the line of fire. Her father would raise his voice; bellow until he drew neighbours to their windows. And her brother, he would square his shoulders and jut his chin, even well before testosterone built him a presence. But she would wait, eyes wide and hands motionless until she could stand in a corner or crouch beside a chair. _

_Her mother would always find her cowering and lift her securely into her arms. Protect her. She learned that immobilising herself brought affection and shelter, an external armour amongst the loose fire._

_She was an adult now. And her mother was neither present nor capable of guarding anyone or anything, other than her own grieving heart. It had fractured on sight of her son's coffin. No mother should ever have to bury a child._

_Lacking in saviour and bereft of an alternative instinctual self-protection tool, she weathered the storm. Like she always did. Though it was worse; the worst it had ever been. She feared for her life, that this time, she was out of chances. And the person she felt such conflictual love for, was not going to stop until her body lay broken and lifeless._

_A rapping on their door interrupted them both; broke the vehement monotony that had befell them. A neighbour screamed at them to turn the music down. The door trembled as he frustratingly slammed his fists three times against the wood. They watched the door, silently, as if expecting it to swing open and their secrets exposed._

_So many months, or was it years? The inside of their home an enigma, their relationship a façade of pretty flowers, plastic water lilies planted in toxic ponds. The interruption was enough to trigger a change, remorse of sorts. _

_The music faded into nothing; Billy Joel didn't start the fire. _

_And then there were tears and a tender touch, though the blood on the woman's hands was further than she had ever been before. Silence tore through her mind and her conscience and she left with her handbag and declarations of regret. She needed a drink, yet another. She wouldn't be long._

_Left behind and shattered, damaged beyond her wounds. She waited, a minute and then two. She crawled across glass, knees groaning to match her arm. Blond hair fell in front of her shoulders and strands ran down her cheeks to the peak of her breasts, it too was stained red. _

_She was unsteady on her feet, trembling with each uncertain step. A small Berghaus backpack sat in a box of medical textbooks and underneath winter sweaters and half read novels. She withdrew it gingerly, shakily breathing as she unzipped the main compartment. She didn't need much, just the necessities. A few pairs of underwear and a change of clothes, a loose long-sleeved top and a pair of slacks. A spare pair of jeans still lay on the bed, so she folded them hurriedly and pushed them inside the bag. The ones she was wearing were torn across the thigh. _

_Toothbrush, toothpaste, deodorant and her hairbrush; a packet of tampons._ _She took two black hair ties off the vanity and slipped them around her right wrist, the arm that hurt to bend. She hesitated for a moment, thinking and processing her next move. She refused to think about the options, about the bigger picture. Just the immediate. Blood dripped down her arm and to the basin; she didn't notice. _

_Her handbag was by the door, it held her phone, purse, car keys and address book. A few work documents. She winced in realisation, heading back to the bedroom and taking her passport from the small safe they kept inside their closet. There was cash there too; she took some, a wad, just because she could. Perhaps exposing just a little glimpse of a fight below the surface. _

_Another shirt and a spaghetti strapped singlet, they were sitting at the top of the clean clothesbasket at the end of their bed. A plain white bra. _

_Her medical kit was at the door, waiting patiently next to her black leather shoulder bag. _

_Last chance; was there anything else she needed?_

_Two apples from the fruit bowl and her laptop, sitting open on the kitchen bench. She had been researching just an hour earlier, Belgium chocolates in Bruges. How she daydreamed of being there and floating down the Venice type canals. _

_The car started first try, despite her quivering hands. The door handle had smudges of blood and the centre console was pooling with the same. She stopped, foot on the break and awkwardly reached to the backseat, crying out for the first time as pain shot through her abdomen and around her chest. The gym towel she retrieved would halt the flow, for the moment, until she reached her destination._

_Once she figured out where it was._

_She drove for quite a few hours. More than a few. The sun had long since set and her eyes became weary, light pain relief having had minimal effect. It was time to stop as a few streetlights came into view._

_She paid the isolated motel in cash, one night in a standard room, insisting she was okay. The young attendant looked horrified, and tried to demand the paramedics. She promised to come back down once she cleaned up, reassured him that she was a doctor and provided her drivers license as evidence. She checked in under a false name, he was too petrified to even notice the difference. _

_Her first glance in the mirror brought tears to her eyes. She hadn't cried in what felt like forever; the tears failed to fall. Slowly, she stripped naked and took an inventory, medical kit poised._

_Left mandible, reddened and tender but only bruised._

_Right elbow, several grazes, glass still insitu. _

_Right forearm, deep gash that would require suturing._

_Left ribs, tender over multiple bones, some likely fractured but not displaced. Tissue bruising._

_Both knees, glass imbedded, shallow. _

_Left temple, behind the hairline, exposed wound that would benefit from a stitch or two. _

_Hair needs washing. Body needs food and water._

_Life needs rebuilding. _

_Two hours passed before she stood in front of reception, hair pulled back in a loose, low ponytail. She was dressed in clean jeans and a long-sleeved shirt, most of her injuries skilfully attended to, taped and covered by clothing. The young man behind the counter noticeably breathed a sigh of relief; it suddenly seemed less likely he was going to discover a dead body in the morning. _

"_You sure you're all right, ma'am?" he asked, eyes focussed on her swelling cheekbone. _

"_Thank you," she responded, quietly and carefully, handing over a small sheet of paper with her breakfast request. "I know I'm late, but I would really appreciate breakfast at six."_

_His eyes widened in surprise and he glanced at his watch, she only needed a few hours sleep. "Yeah, I can do that. You sure you're checkin' out tomorrow?"_

_She forced a smile and nodded, blue eyes dull and glassy. She was starting to feel nauseous, an effect of the codeine she had taken on an empty stomach. "Thank you."_

_Slipping gingerly away, she slowly walked up the stairs to her room relying on her hand tracing the railing for support. Her body ached and she stumbled back through the door, securing both locks and the chain. She emptied her stomach contents first, leaning over the toilet bowl and vomiting water and bile into the porcelain. She was grateful for her toothbrush and toothpaste as she brushed her teeth, masking the slight burn in her throat. _

_Wetting a washcloth with cool water, she moved out of the bathroom and towards the bed. Sliding the jeans down her thighs, she sat on the edge, gradually working the material down her calves and off the ends of her feet. Instead of leaving the pants on the floor, she reached down and tossed them over a small chair, just to the side and slid under the covers. She curled up on the very edge of the queen bed, and pulled her knees towards her chest, washer cool against her neck. _

_It was only then that she cried; thick, heavy tears tumbling silently down her cheeks and across the bridge of her nose. The pillow collected each one; it hurt too much to wipe them away. Every movement agonised her. _

_And she had no idea of where to go the next day. She just knew she had to go somewhere - to heal, to start again._

_Dr Arizona Robbins had to find a place where she could be brand new._


	2. Part 1

**Part 1**

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><p>The blond hair under her fingertips felt soothing, and even as she reluctantly drew her lips away, Callie kept her hand twisted in Arizona's hair. They stared at each other, as if frightened to break their connection. There was still commotion occurring around them, people rushing by and calling out, ambulance sirens fading in the distance. Staff members could be heard relaying horror stories on their phones, vivid descriptions of confrontations with a man holding a gun. Some rushed across the bitumen into the arms of someone they feared dead; crying could be heard. Everyone was heightened, voices louder or softer than usual, emotions on display.<p>

In the midst of the chaos, they broke apart. Slowly ending the kiss that communicated what words failed to do.

"Are you going to come home tonight?" Callie asked, hesitant and concerned that the answer wouldn't be what she wanted, what she needed.

Arizona seemed to breath in slow motion, shoulders rising and falling. She nodded, sucking her lower lip into her mouth. "Is that what you want?"

Giving an awkward laugh, Callie shrugged. "So much," she said quietly, blinking quickly. She had remained stoic and restrained since the moment she saw Gary Clark walk into their makeshift operating room. A part of her wanted to talk it through with Arizona, to dissect each word and movement. She couldn't comprehend that he had walked away from them, that he hadn't raised the pistol and shot at them, just because he could. And the dissociated look on Arizona's face, staring into the distance with tears on her cheeks; she wondered if she would ever rid herself of witnessing that immobilising fear. "What about you?" Callie finally asked, reluctantly withdrawing her hand from Arizona's neck, slightly tangled hair catching as it ran through her fingers.

"I don't really want to be alone tonight," Arizona said softly and Callie again saw a distinct shadow of fear. "I mean, I want to be around you tonight. Not just anyone, you." She had realised her mistake, though Callie rushed to shake her head.

"It's okay. Do you need to do anything before we leave? Check that all the kids are accounted for?"

Arizona nodded, tucking hair behind her ears. "Yeah, I should. Have you checked in with Mark? They're all okay?"

"I got a text but I might give him a call whilst you cast your eyes over the transfer list and chat to the Paeds Coordinator."

"Where will you wait?"

Stepping forward again, Callie caught Arizona's lips in a firm kiss. "I'm kind of planning on following you, I'll be all of a few steps away."

It was enough to elicit a short laugh from Arizona. "Good."

* * *

><p>It was awkward, walking through the doors to Callie's apartment. Their separation hadn't been lengthy, though there was definitely emotional turmoil. Making the decision to walk away, because their dreams differed and not because of a lack of love, meant the entire process was agonising. Working together, sharing the same friends, it was all just horrid.<p>

And then it seemed suddenly, regardless of the time that had passed, they were both walking together through the front door, as they had done countless times before. There was a touch of surrealism to the entire day, from where they started to where they finished. The distance travelled would have appeared impossible just twelve hours before.

"Drink?" Callie asked, dumping her bag and keys directly to the floor and striding away from them.

"Please." Arizona was more careful, placing her workbag behind the sofa and handbag on the dining room table.

Callie pondered the contents of her cupboard before standing in front of the fridge, door open. "I've got a chilled sparkling and a Semillon or a few reds. And you know the spirits collection, it's still the same."

Arizona smiled. "Anything is good, really."

Glancing over at her, Callie contemplated her decision. "How about I open a red and make a quick pasta thing. Maybe Bolognese if I have some mince otherwise spinach and ricotta cannelloni, I've definitely got the ingredients for that. Picked them up a few days ago." While Arizona contemplated her preference, Callie gripped the remote control for the television that she had left in the kitchen that morning, switching the news on and lowering the volume to a gentle hum in the background. "Just in case there's something we haven't heard," Callie explained softly.

"Sure," Arizona murmured, back turned away from the screen anyway. "Cannelloni would be excellent, I've missed your cooking so much." They had always shared cooking and cleaning duties without a complaint, but Arizona hadn't ever loved making or creating meals, though she adored being cooked for. And Callie seemed to enjoy the entire process, sipping on a wine while she went about the preparation.

"Good decision," Callie said, moving around the kitchen and progressively settling ingredients on the bench top and two wine glasses. "Sit, relax," she instructed to Arizona, indicating to the stools and placing a full glass in front of her.

"I can help," she insisted weakly in response, yet sliding on to a stool.

"Nope," Callie declined her weak offer, "just drink, watch and chat to me."

The silence that drifted over them was comfortable as Arizona worked on her overfilled wine and watched Callie prepare dinner. They were reflective and contemplative, working through their own thoughts to do with the hospital shootings and their eventual reunification. They had each received the occasional text message, updates on their friends and colleagues. Much of it was repetitive, and many concerned queries as to whether they were okay and needed anything. The thing about such a crisis is that people stand up, they remember what's important and the people they work side by side, day by day with, are people they really care about. It was nice.

"You were so amazing today," Arizona whispered, breaking the silence. Her eyes focussed on the base of the glass in front of her, fingertips tracing the thick stem.

Callie observed her quickly, taking in the uncharacteristic timidness, which was such a small and relatively rare side of Arizona's personality. "I wouldn't say that, I acted on instinct. I had to do something; you were there, covering that little girl's body. I wasn't going to wait for him to shoot." The words tumbled around her mind and she had to force herself to slow her speech and limit her words. Arizona seemed so hesitant and cautious, yet Callie was desperate to talk.

"I just kept waiting for the sound of a bullet being fired."

"Yeah, you're not the only one." She worked on the spinach, finely cutting fresh leaves and adding to some crushed pine nuts. "I still can't really believe that he just left, walked out. I mean we're surgeons, we were exactly what he was after."

"You were on the floor, bleeding."

Callie leant forward, holding out a hand to cup Arizona's face, stroking her cheek as she did that afternoon. "Arizona, I wasn't though. I'm fine."

Shaking her head, Arizona closed her eyes briefly. "No, I meant that when you walked away from me, I thought I would hear the bang and then I would have to turn around and see you on the floor."

"And I thought that by the time I got him that gauze, he would have shot you. You would be on top of Ruby, still protecting her."

They were slow to communicate with each other, each response delayed and thought through before being articulated. They were being careful with their phrasing, trying to put words to the complicated thoughts and feelings. "You make it sound like I was doing something huge, Calliope."

Callie smiled, taking out pre-packaged cannelloni tubes from a box and lining them up in front of her. "I've missed that," she said and Arizona looked up at her properly for the first time since they returned home. "No one else here calls me that. And you did, do something huge, but I know you're not going to believe it."

"You know?"

Callie nodded. "You think I've forgotten everything about you? I love you, all of you, but this little bit. This part, where you're all sad, scared…kind of self-deprecating, this part I love the most." Arizona gave her a horrified look; everything that she despised in herself was the thing that Callie loved the most? "Because it's just for me, I'm the only one that gets to see it. Makes me feel like I'm the most important person in your life and that you can't possibly live without me." Callie rushed to explain, keeping a lightness to her tone.

Arizona tipped the glass to her lips, calmly filling her mouth with the blend and swallowing. When she returned it to the bench and lowered her eyes again, they were filled with tears. "You are and I can't. I've been a complete mess."

"Me too. Though I'm sure you've heard that, Cristina has hardly kept it quiet."

"You were so angry with me this morning…"

"I thought it would be easier to be angry with you, compared to my usual blubbing state but you're a bit hard to argue with. You always make sense. And I actually made my decision before that guy walked through the door, when I was talking to Ruby about you being the best Doctor. You did everything you could Arizona; you were so respectful, nice to me, even given my ultimatum. And yes, that is what I gave you."

Arizona shrugged; she was more forgiving than she could ever have been before that day. The frustration she had felt on the ward had completely dissipated. "You asked for what you wanted Callie, you decided what you could and couldn't live without and then went from there. We didn't set out to destroy each other."

"You were so against having a baby."

It seemed too soon to be revisiting the conversation and a hint of anxiety rushed through Arizona. She had made her decision, and she was content with that but she still needed time. "You said that you wanted to be with me, that you didn't want children if it meant that you couldn't be with me."

"And I meant it," Callie insisted.

"It was enough. I just wanted to feel like I am the priority in your life, that you could or would, sacrifice stuff for me. If I needed you to. You finally made me feel like I was different to the others."

Callie smiled, thumbs forcing the spinach and ricotta mix inside the pasta tubes. "And you are. I'm slow and maybe a little stupid, but I am so rock solid now. Whatever you need, whenever; I'm not giving you up ever again."

Arizona watched carefully, focussed on observing Callie's skilled fingers work with the food like she was creating bone and cartilage. "I'll probably need more wine if we're going to continue this conversation," she said light heartedly, just a few mouthfuls remaining in her glass.

"That can easily be arranged," Callie responded, dipping her head towards the bottle sitting on the bench top. She shook her head, blowing at tufts of hair that had fallen across her eyes. With hands full and covered, she tried to use the inside of her elbows, scooping the pieces of hair back and frustrated when they fell immediately back. "Help?" she asked, screwing her nose up in annoyance.

Laughing lightly, Arizona slid off the stool and walked around until she stood next to Callie in the kitchen. She carefully reached both hands up and tucked the dark brown strands behind her ears, smoothing them twice to secure them. Standing on her toes, she kept both palms at Callie's cheeks, capturing her lips in a deep kiss. She sighed contentedly, lowering back to the heels of her feet and observing Callie's wide grin, food layered hands held stationary in the air. " Just another thing I've missed," she explained. "You might find I mention a few more."

'My kisses are something to miss," Callie agreed. "And, I can think of a few more kiss related things, you've possibly forgotten."

"Forgotten, hey?" Arizona asked, trailing her hand along the small of Callie's back as she made her way back to her chair, grabbing the wine bottle as she passed the corner of the bench.

"Well, hopefully not completely forgotten. I like to think I made something of an impression."

Arizona laughed. "Really? That's confidence, Calliope. And I do believe you're blushing."

Rolling her eyes, Callie accepted the observation without contest. Arranging the cannelloni in a pan, she withdrew a saucepan from a low drawer and placed it on the stovetop as Arizona topped up their glasses. Noticing for the first time, images of both herself and Arizona walking between paramedic vehicles outside the hospital being sprayed across the screen, she muttered, "God, this whole day seems surreal. You're back here and kissing me and teasing me, it just feels weird."

"Good weird?"

"Oh yeah; brilliant weird. But still, kind of hard to wrap my head around. I don't think I've ever experienced such a rush of adrenalin and just, I don't know, being so scared." Arizona nodded slowly, eyes glazing over as she presumably took herself back. "What about you?" Callie asked after a few moments, crushed tomatoes tumbling into the saucepan from an opened can.

Arizona tasted blood in her mouth and running her tongue on the inside of her bottom lip she found a stinging cut. She had pierced the sensitive skin with her incisor. "I didn't really know what to do."

"There was hardly time to make a decision, I just looked up and he was there. We couldn't exactly have a quick chat and formulate a plan. But you immediately protected the innocent kid – you know that, right?"

Arizona scowled. "I don't even remember what happened. Not really."

'Remember?" Callie asked, prompted almost. She kept her hands busy, slowly using a wooden spoon to stir basil and garlic into the tomato.

"You got this look on your face, horrified, like you had seen a ghost. I turned around and I, I guess I saw his gun. In his hand. And I remember you starting to walk behind me and I wanted to tell you to stop but all I could think was that you were going to die. And that I didn't know what to do."

"I had to do something, you were both between me and him, and that didn't seem fair. I had to fight; I had to try. I just gave him some bandages. He had his gun in his hand, he held it out just lying there on his palm and I put the bandages on top. Then he left, I told him to go." Arizona had dropped her eye contact, her gaze drifted unfocussed to the side of Callie. It looked as if she was staring at the refrigerator, but her mind was elsewhere entirely. Searching the corners of her memory, trying to put the pieces together, calculate the time missing. "I could have grabbed the gun, I think. Maybe, but if I didn't get it or he managed to get it back, we were done. All of us. It's selfish, really selfish but I wanted to protect you, us."

"I don't remember any of that," Arizona whispered. "You talked to him?"

"Yeah, kind of. I mean I told him what to do, to press on his wound and stop the bleeding. It was quick, maybe a minute or two."

"You told me something about the police and put your hand on my face, I think I started to breathe again. Everything in between, I really can't remember. It's jut a blur." She looked frightened again, eyes wide and glazed with a thick fluid. The blue of her irises were suddenly duller and her breathing had started to resemble the same, short pattern she had experienced in the makeshift operating room.

Callie observed quietly for a few moments, alternating her glance between pouring the now combined sauce over the pasta and taking in Arizona's clear confusion and rapid distress. Tossing dishes in the sink, she turned around and opened the oven door. "You were talking too, just quietly. Saying that there were only children, you must have said it twenty times," Callie explained as she picked up the baking dish and slid it on to the metal tray in the oven. She let the door close a bit heavier than she should before swearing and reopening. "Forgot the cheese," she explained apologetically, shrugging.

"Can't forget the cheese," Arizona said, nodding her agreement though the effort was minimal. She sipped at her wine, clearly breathing in through her nose and out through her mouth, slowing her heart rate. "It's not something I like, having these completely blank parts. I froze. I know that I froze."

"Where did you go?" Callie asked quietly and gently as she picked up grated cheese from a freshly opened packet and sprinkled it over the dish. Arizona gave her a confused look, shaking her head in lack of understanding. "Like what were you thinking about? Was it an image of his gun or me or something completely different?"

Arizona silently tracked Callie returning the baking pan to the oven and resealing the cheese packet before tossing it back on the top shelf of the fridge. It landed next to an old bottle of soy sauce, a half consumed diet coke and something that may have resembled broccoli a few weeks before. "I don't know," Arizona articulated slowly, and she didn't. She knew that her mind was having trouble focussing now, that it was jumping randomly between past events. She knew about triggers and the way trauma works, but logically, she had no reason to be obsessing over scenes from her past. In just a couple of short years, Arizona had built a life in Seattle; she had a job, a partner and an amazing network of friends and colleagues. Life was generally, with the exception of recent issues with Callie, incredibly stable and good. It was simply, good. "I just don't like the idea that I was like that. I guess I'm being silly."

Callie smiled and nodded, scooping a few utensils off the bench and distributing between the dishwasher and sink. Pushing her wine across the table, she walked around until she stood directly in front of Arizona. "You're still forgetting how you put yourself in between a gun and a child." Shrugging, Arizona released her glass and snaked her hands around Callie's waist, opening her legs for Callie to take one step closer. "And, that it's over now. We're both okay and Ruby is fine."

"Yep," Arizona agreed, dropping her forehead to Callie's sternum. Her phone beeped from her handbag, sitting on the dining room table but she ignored the interruption, preferring to tighten her hold and press her face against the soft material of Callie's shirt. "You changed your perfume," Arizona observed softly, taking a deep inhalation, tears lightly wetting the tired skin, just underneath her lower eyelids.

"Mmmm," Callie murmured into Arizona's hair, kissing her scalp. "I couldn't wear my favourite one since you gave it to me. It just made me cry constantly."

"I'll buy you a new one."

Callie smiled, turning her head at the sound of Arizona's phone receiving another message. The tone was the same as she had always had, just a slight variation on one of the automatic alerts that Callie used. It made it easier to distinguish between them, and saved one of them from getting out of bed or off the sofa. "Maybe you should get that; it could be your parents."

Arizona shook her head, nose pressing into Callie's abdomen. "Nah," she muttered, tipping her head back and looking up. "I've spoken to them, whoever it is can wait tonight."

And for the third time, Callie placed her hand against Arizona's cheek and used her thumb to blend the tears into her cheekbones. "It'll be okay, there're parts about today that won't seem so bad tomorrow. Things always get easier with time."

Easier perhaps, but the trauma itself never fades; nor the impact. Time simply moves forward and so does life; plans change and dreams are recreated.

But it's never buried. Life is far too complicated for that.

**TBC.**

**Could take me a while between updates, so I apologise in advance for that. The first half of the year is always busier for me, but I do promise regular updates and hope you stick around reading.**


	3. Part 2

**AN: Thank you so much for your reviews and alerts, PM's etc. I really appreciate the time it takes to review or comment, and it can be such a hassle when you're trying to read quickly or work your way through heaps of updates! So, really, thank you! **

**Cheers, Author's Tune**

**Part 2**

Almost a week passed before the hospital was back and running at a level that resembled familiarity. Staff had been called in on a few occasions in the interim, asked to attend various feedback and support sessions, psychologists resourced to provide counselling services. While they didn't have to be cleared to practice, a refusal to attend was considered an indication of a level of difficulty that would complicate any return to a regular work schedule. The bureaucracy certainly hadn't changed in the wake of the tragedy.

Arizona and Callie both attended, though choosing to limit their sessions to a surgical staff meeting and an individual appointment only. Callie was far more vocal, taking several opportunities to retell her experience. She spoke of the guilt she felt, knowing that she chose safety over heroism. There wasn't a person in the hospital that questioned her action, or lack of, as she repeatedly said, still it lingered in the back of her mind. Arizona allowed her the space to talk to it, multiple times, carefully and gently nudging her with questions and comments until she accepted the decision. It wasn't an active choice though, and that's what Callie eventually came to understand; it was an intrinsic and instinctual response. And one that Arizona was immensely grateful for.

In comparison, Arizona was far more reserved. She talked with Callie until late into the first night, but after that she listened more than anything else. She offered an unlimited number of hugs, finding Callie's hand in the middle of the night when wild images haunted her dreams. She wrapped her arms around colleagues and friends, bought them a coffee and absorbed their tears. Most days her parents had phoned or texted, checking in on her and Callie. She politely soothed them and placated their concerns, declined their offer to visit. There was so much that her Mom and Dad had never seen, the emotional side of her that she kept to herself. Or to her and Callie now.

Quickly, they all found themselves back at work; the façade of normalcy, well and truly present at all levels of the hospital system. Just the lightest of scratches to the surface and people crumbled, rushing out of rooms and anxiously glancing around corners and down darkened corridors. Callie and Arizona were both solid though, competently attending to patients with an aura of calmness and control. It was hard not to notice the increased security presence, but it didn't encroach on their clinical work, just visible enough to be a constant reminder.

It was incredible the amount of mail that had accumulated for them in just a few days; for all the staff really, but particularly the Attendings and Residents, who the patients, both present and past had really gotten to know. Arizona was given a small box at the end of the day, a range of envelopes, cards and handmade gifts from parents and children who had been in her surgical unit. Similarly, Callie was handed a plastic shopping bag, at least fifteen cards inside. It had been the same three days ago when they attended the hospital for their counselling session, so many positive messages from past patients that had heard about the shooting and seen them on various news reports.

Working a day shift, they walked home in the fading sunlight, scrubs discarded for jeans and cotton tops. Callie's jeans were dark blue, almost resembling black when they walked through shadows. They had a few diamantes over the back pockets and the slim fit, slightly stretchy material accentuated her curves. In comparison, Arizona had donned an older pair; the faded denim meaning even the light blue was barely evident on her thighs and knees. The hems were frayed, having caught the bottom of her boots too many times over the last year and the waist was wide, sitting low on her hips and falling slightly loose around her pelvis. She used a thick black belt to keep them in place.

With their hands tightly clasped and fingers intertwined, Arizona's royal blue, long sleeved blouse caught between their palms. It was snug against her chest and stomach with a low v-neck that exposed the trim of her black bra strap when she regularly repositioned the heavy bag over her shoulder. Callie carried both of their mail collections, Arizona's box tucked under her arm and her own held in her hand. Her sleeveless, loose white top meant the occasional breeze sent shivers down her spine. It was just a little too cool for bare shoulders.

"So your day wasn't too bad?" Arizona asked, her arm rubbing against Callie's as they walked with an easy pace.

Callie nodded. "Yeah, it was pretty good. A few sporting injuries, football tackles gone wrong…my plastering skills got some work. I hear all was calm upstairs?"

"Yep, very. They're not rushing to move the kids back, understandably. And a lot of parents are refusing to have them transferred, so it was really quiet."

"It wasn't as weird as I thought, but then again, I wasn't on Paeds where we were I guess. How did you find it?"

"You know, it was okay." Arizona smiled and nodded, assuring Callie. "I went in to the room and had a look around. Mind you, I had that annoying nurse with me, she seemed to think that if she asked me a million questions and didn't leave my side all day, she might get to experience some drama. Odd woman that, just after some more gossip I suppose."

"Oh yeah, I heard some people kind of talking about it and they were the ones that were on days off or vacation. I don't know what the psychology behind that is, but anyone that was directly involved were just keeping to themselves."

Arizona squeezed Callie's fingers and shrugged. "I think people want to feel like they survived something huge, that they were part of it. Those of us that did, we still wish we weren't even there."

"Jeez, you learnt something in your counselling session," Callie teased, tilting her head to the side as they walked, pressing a kiss to Arizona's temple. "Who knew you were so insightful."

Arizona laughed lightly. "Therapy will do that to you." She rolled her eyes and glanced in the shop window as they walked past a small supermarket. "I would kill for some chocolate," she hinted.

"Oh absolutely," Callie agreed, a little too quickly. She tugged Arizona towards the entrance before releasing her hand. "Dark, milk or white?"

"No idea, let me think." As she contemplated, Arizona following Callie directly down the aisle until they stood in front of a selection of blocks of chocolate and different bars. "What do you feel like?"

"Everything, or anything. I'm starving, so this might not be a good idea. We'll end up with a pile."

Arizona tipped her head from side to side. "So? We go home with a pile, sounds good to me. I like choices and having a little of everything."

Reaching forward, Callie chose one small block. "Dark with cherries, that's one. You choose now."

"Ah, hmmm, maybe…plain white?"

"Excellent choice," Callie encouraged, picking it up and adding it to the other in her hand. "Now we need something milk. Oh, your favourite is coconut, we'll get that."

A wide smile spread across Arizona's face. "I think I'm in heaven," she murmured. "One more, just because we can. You choose, one of your favourites this time."

"How about, caramel filled?"

"Your choice, Calliope," Arizona insisted, wandering down the aisle. "I'm just going to grab a few other things while we're here, you need anything?"

"Something resembling fruit would be brilliant."

"You read my mind, I was going for bananas," Arizona called out, stepping towards the fruit and vegetables. She toyed with the sleeves of her shirt, pulling them down over her hands as she walked slowly and cast her eyes over the fruit, in diverse stages of ripening. Manoeuvring a small bunch into a clear plastic bag, Arizona continued to peruse, stopping to collect a basket. She picked up a can of deodorant when she passed the toiletries, remembering that she had been using Callie's for a few days; they had a preference for different brands. Continuing, she reached for a pack of replacement razor blades, eyes narrowing at the extortionate cost. She lingered, eyes travelling over the different styles, each with its own marketing ploy in bright pink writing. Her fingertips brushed lightly over a dark silver razor, the handle dipped in a soft purple synthetic plastic. Her stomach churned briefly and she felt her neck break in a light sweat. She hadn't seen that specific razor since she had arrived in Seattle. It unsettled her; any reminder from her past had a tendency to do that. It wasn't as if she wasn't used to managing the different objects and events that elicited memories of a time she would prefer to forget, but she had been taking notice of the little things more over the last week. And they were always little things, like the way the hand towels sat folded on the kitchen bench, or the old song that was played on the radio. The way Callie panted in her ear and gripped Arizona's wrist tightly, when she tumbled incoherently into a thundering climax.

"This one is yours," Callie said, interrupting Arizona's train of thought as she reached over her shoulder and drew a packet of blades off the wire rack. "Having a blond moment?" Callie teased, poking Arizona in the ribs when her hand dropped to her side.

"Ah, yeah. I think so." Arizona shrugged, allowing Callie to take the basket off her and pile the chocolate and some additional items in. Milk, a carton of eggs and some artificial sweetener. "I was confused over which was mine and which was yours."

Callie laughed. "Definitely not the one you had your hand on, looks like it hasn't been updated in the last decade. In fact, I think my mother used one like it when I was in high school."

Forcing herself to chuckle, Arizona shrugged in mock defeat. "I don't know then, this is why I leave the shopping to you."

"Yeah yeah, come on. Let's go, I'm keen for some of this chocolate. And a glass of wine to have with it. Last chance, anything else?"

Arizona shook her head slowly, following Callie to the check out. She packed the items into a bag and hooked it around her palm, using her free hand to hold Callie's as they walked out the door and headed the last block to their apartment. They appeared so comfortable when they walked, side by side and almost in stride. They lightly grazed arms with every second step and they tugged and pulled each other around posts, people and large cracks on the sidewalk. As clichéd as it sounded, it was almost as if they fit together. The way the curve of Arizona's shoulder nestled snugly just under Callie's collarbone and the way she nestled her face into Callie's neck, hiding from the world. It was comfortable; it was easy.

Taking a few minutes when they got home to get settled, Callie went about putting the few grocery items away whilst Arizona used the bathroom and put their bags away in the bedroom. By the time she emerged, Callie was settled on the sofa, two glasses of wine on the coffee table and a sitcom playing low on the television. She had her pile of cards on her lap, slowly opening envelopes and reading the cards. She placed them neatly down next to her, the envelopes on one pile and the cards on another. Arizona leaned over the back of the couch before walking around, lightly pressing her thumbs into Callie's shoulders to briefly massage the tight muscles. Callie groaned in delight, stretching her neck. "You can keep doing that all night if you like," she murmured, eyes closing as she tipped her head back to press against Arizona's stomach.

"Maybe later," Arizona said with a grin, continuing for a few more moments before leaning down pressing a lingering kiss to Callie's cheek.

"But it's so good…" Callie declared, whining with a cheeky grin.

Settling down, Arizona kicked her feet out to rest on the coffee table and leant her body into Callie's. "Nice cards?"

"Yeah, really nice. People are so lovely." Callie stopped for a moment, hand still holding a pile of unopened envelopes on her lap. "Some of the names I remember, but not all. It's nice that they remember us though."

"I suppose we change their lives, we see so many it's hard to keep track of names." Arizona tugged her own box to rest on her thighs, opening the lid and drawing out small trinkets. There were beaded bracelets with her name on and colourful drawing of beach houses and rainbows. She held up a little cardboard, hand drawn placard that had a banner with the phrase _Best Doctor_ written on it. "See, the critics have spoken."

Laughing, Callie took it out of Arizona's hands and examined it. "That is adorable. But it's not fair, adults don't really do craft."

"You're just jealous of my clearly superior medical skills," Arizona light heartedly taunted, moving on to opening her own cards. The first one was a long message from a recently bereaved parent, who so sensitively thanked Arizona for her attentiveness, her treatment of the entire family and dedication to the job. The media had clearly identified the shooter as a bereaved partner, someone with a grudge against the hospital. "This stuff makes me cry," Arizona stated, laughing as she wiped tears from her eyes before they had opportunity to fall.

"I know!" Callie exclaimed. "We seldom get feedback in our line of work, no one ever thanks us really. It's odd that a big crisis is what actually gets us that."

"We don't do it for those reasons though do we? I mean, we'd never keep working if we were waiting for gratitude."

"Yeah, I suppose," Callie conceded, settling back into the cushions, one arm draped over the back of the sofa and the other holding a row of chocolate squares. She played with Arizona's hair, fingertips scratching lightly at the base of her neck and twisting blonde strands around her fingers. "I don't think I'm moving for the rest of the night, I'm completely knackered." Arizona vaguely nodded, intently focussed on an open card that she held. "And this chocolate was a brilliant idea," Callie added, simulating sensual noises of satisfaction. Withdrawing a hand, Arizona lightly traced over the cursive handwriting on the plain white card, mouth slightly agape. She continued for a few moments, silently using her fingertips as if reading Braille. "Who's it from?" Callie asked eventually as she became somewhat aware of Arizona's focus.

"It doesn't have a name, it's not signed," Arizona explained softly, finally blinking. She retrieved the envelope and examined the sender details, finding them predictably blank. "I'm not sure."

"Something familiar? You're looking a bit like you've seen a ghost." Callie laughed lightly, her open hand still resting on Arizona's neck, beneath her hair.

Arizona offered a half smile, cheek twitching at the effort. She held the card out for Callie to read, looking up at her quietly, though not expecting a reaction. It wouldn't be familiar to her. "Doctor Arizona Robbins, so pleased to hear that you are well in Seattle. Looking forward to seeing you soon," Callie vocalised, following the large writing, each letter oversized and running into each other. "It's signed with kisses instead of a name, Arizona. Weird much?"

"It's an ex," Arizona muttered with a heavy sign, shaking her head as she tossed the card towards her feet. It landed on the coffee table before sliding off and on to the floor.

Callie hesitated momentarily. "An ex?"

"I think so. Well, I'm sure. I'd know that writing anywhere." There was a roughness to Arizona's voice and air rushed through her nostrils as she contained her apparent frustration.

"Clearly you're not on good terms."

"No." Callie raised her eyebrows at the harshness of Arizona's response, the word almost spat out. "She didn't know I was here," Arizona elaborated, softening. "She's not someone I wanted to stay in contact with, I came here to get away really. To start again."

"Surely she won't just come here, she has to know you would have moved on by now." To Callie it was simple, she couldn't conceptualise that someone would still be hoping for reconciliation after almost two years. It was a foreign concept to her, sometimes relationships work out and other times they don't. You get upset, you grieve and then you re-evaluate.

"The news, all the bloody news reports. She would have seen me; I didn't even think about that. I should have realised."

"Yes Arizona, that's exactly what we were thinking about after having a crazed gunman a few feet away from us. I think you had a few other things to be thinking," Callie said, rolling her eyes as she pulled her arm back from behind Arizona. She took the box and placed it beside her, taking Arizona's hand and resting it on her leg.

Sighing, Arizona dropped her head to Callie's shoulder, tracing the skin of Callie's wrist with her thumb. "I haven't published articles, I'm not on the hospital website. Short of phoning every bloody hospital in the country, I wasn't exactly easy to find."

"So what, I mean, you just tell her you're in a relationship if she rocks up. I'll certainly tell her, send her on her way."

"Yeah," Arizona said softly, forcing a small smile. "I'm probably just being paranoid."

"Must have been some breakup…"

"Hmmm." The non-committal response lingered in the air like the wine glasses that were barely touched in front of them, waiting for consumption. Choosing against drilling Arizona for information, Callie accepted the circumstances as a usual distaste for ex-partners. Despite a few exceptions, Callie couldn't imagine being particularly keen if some of her exes spontaneously contacted her without any specific reason. She couldn't imagine her reaction if Erica Hahn showed up in her life again, given the last interaction they ever had together. That was the nature of relationships that ended, and probably the most productive or healthy way to be. Relationships end for a reason, continuing to attempt to nurture a friendship is time-consuming and complicated, roles get blurred and responsibilities distorted. Although Arizona didn't specifically talk about her relationship history, it was no secret that she had been in somewhat long term partnerships. She had always told Callie that they ended for various reasons, different aspirations, career direction, values. An incompatibility at a level that was about who she was and wanted to be, aspects of herself that she wasn't willing to compromise.

With the exception of their recent separation, that description was certainly different to how Callie would describe her own relationship history. In her younger years it was all about brief and passionate affairs, all the excitement and energy of a newness that could never be sustained. Her marriage was impulsive and incredibly premature; the infidelity a symptom of a connection that lacked depth, maturity. Though her exploration of lesbianism was gradual and filled with fear and complex emotions, she chose to challenge her feelings rather than examine them. Until later of course. Insight takes time and courage, which isn't bad; it's just the way it is.

With Arizona now curled, mostly unmoving against her body, Callie slowed her mind and brought herself back to the present. The television had a volume that was annoyingly low, just loud enough to create some background noise, useful whilst a conversation is occurring, but not loud enough to actually hear when they settled into silence. Characters and scenes moved across the screen, and occasionally a word or two, a yelled sentence could be heard, but mostly it was just mildly frustrating. Arizona appeared non-fussed, eyes not at all focussed and at times closing in apparent fatigue. With the remote at the other end of the sofa, resting on the thick arm rest, Callie dismissed the idea of moving Arizona just to increase the noise level of a show they were less than interested in anyway. She reached for the chocolate however, clenching her stomach muscles, just a little, to successfully seize the blocks without having to slip out from beneath her wife.

Arizona's eyes opened, the wrapper crunching near where her ear was pressed into Callie's chest. Holding two white pieces, still joined, to Arizona's lips, Callie slipped them inside when Arizona granted access. "Thanks," she said, sucking slowly on the chocolate rather than biting or chewing it.

"Good?"

"Yep," Arizona confirmed, wrapping an arm around Callie's stomach and squirming herself closer. The loose material of Callie's shirt gathered with the movement, so Arizona withdrew her arm and smoothed it out before attempting again.

With their positions, Callie had her hand resting just below the curve of Arizona's hip, fingers spread out and randomly moving slightly over her jean clad thigh. It felt comfortable, soothing. Safe.

"More please?" Arizona requested after a few minutes, blue eyes looking innocently upwards, emulating a child requesting extra candy.

Callie giggled. "Since you asked so politely." She repeated her actions, dropping two pieces, slightly mismatching in size from awkwardly breaking the block with one hand, into Arizona's mouth. "Are you worried, Arizona?" Callie asked quietly and gently, after watching her fall back into a mostly vacant, thoughtful state.

Arizona returned her eyes to Callie, raising her chin to rest on the curve of her breast. She met Callie's stare willingly, knowing that her face would be telling, even if the words failed her. "I guess, sort of." And though they didn't abandon her, they did fail to adequately portray her apprehension, her fear.

"Okay," Callie acknowledged, nodding. "Well, can I do anything? Just tell me if I can; whatever you want."

She earned a small smile and a short, awkward shake of the head. "I'm good."

Callie tightened her fingertips to squeeze at Arizona's leg and nodded, but she hated the expression really. _Good_ didn't even begin to describe how either of them had been, leaning towards each other with Ruby's body between them; yet Arizona had used the phrase then too. An assurance perhaps, that she wasn't about to disintegrate, something for her to hold on to.

* * *

><p>Running a hand over three deep scratches on the driver's side door of her black Mercedes, the woman internally fumed. The lines were distinctly grey, almost white, and there was a large dent at the edge of one of them. They were almost a foot long. Muttering under her breath, she cursed the bastards that couldn't control their shopping trolleys, who knowingly leave damage goods and do nothing to rectify the situation.<p>

Flopping into the seat and slamming the door shut, thick, sandy curls bounced over her shoulders and down her arms. She curled a fist, gritted her teeth and raised her arm so her fist shadowed her ear. Exhaling strongly, she shook her head and slowly lowered her hand until they both curled around the steering wheel with a death grip. Ten and Two O'Clock.

Taking a few steady breaths, she released one hand to turn the ignition. Rolling her shoulders, she checked the rear view mirror and put the car into reverse, slowly pulling out and making her way towards the main road. It was only a half a dozen streets until she merged onto the freeway, eyes fixed on the horizon and her eventual destination, some days away.

She could have flown, a seven or eight hour trip; hired a car and been at the hospital within twelve hours. But she needed time; time to think and prepare, to ready herself for a conversation she had only dreamed of having. A year of therapy had taught her that Arizona owed her nothing, she had long since used up all of her second chances. Her therapist had gone so far as to strongly suggest that Arizona needed to be given the space she had ultimately taken. For a non-directive counsellor, she had been strangely assertive as to Arizona's right for distance.

But she couldn't do it. She had been captivated at first sight, when the woman she desperately belonged with appeared on the late afternoon news. All those months spent trawling the internet, googling and using social media sites, they resulted in nothing. But sitting down to a coffee and an update on national events, that, and that alone, told her exactly where Arizona had gone. As if by magic; fate.

And she had to tell Arizona about the therapy, how she had changed herself. Created someone better than she had been. She had to tell her about the rehab, how damaged she had been by Arizona's departure and her eventual admission for alcohol detoxification and a long road of rehabilitation.

There was a slight excitement to her train of thought; the idea of seeing Arizona again and looking into her crystal blue eyes and those irises that she used to lose herself in. She remembered it so clearly, it was like she was diving through a wave, arms outstretched and hidden from the world. And Arizona's touch, so light and gentle, tender. She could barely wait to feel that again, to be pressed against her bare skin, smooth and toned.

But she needed to be prepared, to have the perfect speech ready; to recapture Arizona with her achievements and the unrelenting work on herself and her issues. How she had addressed her issues with her parents and her upbringing; how she had worked on her inability to love.

She had done what Arizona had always asked of her. She had gotten help.


	4. Part 3

**AN: **Thank you so much for your continued interest in the fic, I'm hoping the updates are regular enough to keep you keen! :-)

A huge thank you to those that picked up on my error in the last part. This is set (mostly) canon to the post shooting timeframe. Although there might be a few bits and pieces that change (particularly other characters who I'm not so up on), but the major stuff I'm trying to keep consistent. My mention of Arizona as Callie's 'wife' was a complete mistake on my part. So sorry about that, and I will fix it up.

Anyway, thanks again and on with the part.

* * *

><p><strong>Part 3<strong>

Arizona was heard first, saying hello to various people as she rolled, rather than walked, down the corridor. She quickly appeared, blond hair bouncing against her shoulders and hands starting to gesture, dancing through the air. "It was just awesome, really," Arizona said, absolutely beaming as she came to a stop in front of Callie. "Five Paediatric Surgeons in two days insisted that removing the bowel was the only option and I fixed it. Seriously, that little girl will not spend her entire life with a colostomy bag, how amazing is that?" Her smile was wide and dimples on clear display as Callie took two steps and held the door to the Attendings' Lounge open for her before meandering calmly in behind Arizona and sitting on a sofa. Arizona stood in front of her, moving up and down on the balls of her feet with uncontained enthusiasm.

"That is amazing," Callie agreed, laughing lightly at Arizona's excitement.

"And they're these legends in the field too, and they weren't even willing to try. I could write up this case, Callie. Maybe get a grant."

"That's a great idea, you should go for it. Show all those old, should be retired, surgeons who the new legends are."

Arizona nodded eagerly. "I could too you know. This is the kind of thing that can be groundbreaking, when vital organs and systems are saved rather than removed because of technology. This is why I do my job."

"Oh yeah, but it wasn't just technology. It was skill; your skill."

Arizona rolled her eyes but grinned, clapping her hands lightly and jutting her chin. "Have I mentioned how awesome it was? You should have seen the smile on her Mom's face."

"You sound surprised that you're so _awesome_," Callie teased, tugging Arizona to sit next to her and draping an arm around Arizona's shoulders. "I'm not," she whispered in her ear, grinning.

Arizona shrugged; blue eyes crystal clear. Her eyes were incredibly transparent; they had a habit of telling the story no matter what her words were describing. They were her greatest betrayal but they were also one of her best attributes, the emotion they portrayed was remarkable. And in that exact moment, they were screaming of energy.

"We should celebrate."

"Yeah?" Callie asked, drawing her arm away and leaning on her elbow on the back of the couch. "Sounds good to me. What do you feel like?"

"Wouldn't have a clue; but something, we should definitely do something."

"How about a drink at Joe's or dinner and a movie? Any other ideas?" Callie rested her forehead on Arizona's shoulder, burrowing her nose into the muscled at the top of her arm. Arizona had spent the last week trying to conceal a growing anxiety; a nervousness. She had taken to forcing an awkward smile and muttered apologies when she was caught out looking over her shoulder or scanning the faces of strangers in crowded shopping complexes or on the street. They had really only gone between work and home, with just the occasional venture out to pick up supplies.

It was difficult for Callie to identify the exact emotion in Arizona, there were such small and subtle signs. She wasn't withdrawn or particularly hyper vigilant, but at times demonstrated glimpses of both. The way her hand gripped Callie's when a teenager tumbled into her on his skateboard, and the extra few minutes it took her to relax and realise that she needed to loosen her vice like hold. And the deadlock on the door to Callie's apartment had been secured each night. Callie could barely recall an occasion when they had even bothered with the chain, let alone the double locks.

Then there was the dream that had startled them both awake, not long before sunrise. It had been a Wednesday morning and they weren't due at work until midday, working an odd afternoon shift providing some cover for absent staff. Arizona had tossed in her sleep a couple of times beneath the covers, legs twisting in the material and inadvertently dragging the sheets off Callie. Jerking awake, Arizona had kicked her feet, releasing a distinctive desperate cry as she struggled to free herself from the simulated restraints. And as quickly as Callie had woken and regained awareness of her surroundings, Arizona was lying back against the pillows, body exposed to the cool air and lungs drawing in calming breaths. She had accepted Callie's palm on her sweaty cheek and forehead, muttering somewhat nonsensical descriptions of a vivid nightmare - gun wielding men morphing into gentle women and back again. And when Arizona woke, a few hours later, she was snuggled securely beneath the duvet and with Callie's protective arm around her abdomen, serene despite the fitful interruption to their night.

"I'm not so much in the drinking mood, but would love to go dancing or maybe we could see what some of the others are doing, a bit of a relaxing get-together. I think there are a few people that could do with a casual evening."

"Oh, I like," Callie agreed, raising her head and smiling. "I suppose you want to go bowling?"

Eyes widening in a cheeky expression, Arizona nodded. "You never want to go," she whined.

"Your kickass surgery, your choice," Callie conceded. "Should we just send out a text, see who's free and get them to meet us there in an hour? And since it's licensed, if people want a drink they can have one…or a few."

"Yep, I saw Teddy only a half an hour ago, she was close to finishing up. She was complaining about something actually, I think I tuned out, someone is attractive…isn't attractive? I don't know, not the point." Callie smiled at Arizona's tangential thought pattern; it was incredible to see some vigour and excitement. It had been a while. "And every time I've even caught a glance at Bailey, she's looked petrified so maybe it is a good time for an easy going catch up, make sure everyone is doing okay."

Shrugging, Callie slowly nodded her head in agreement. "I thought we were celebrating how legendary you are?" she asked lightly, reaching into the pocket of her scrubs and taking her phone out.

"Oh of course," Arizona joked, laughing loudly. 'But you know, it can't be all about me. We wouldn't want to be too selfish."

And within minutes the messages were being returned, a majority keen for a break from the hospital and the intensity that their home lives had seemingly absorbed. Somehow the word spread as Teddy and Mark chatted in the Emergency Room and Residents jumped at the opportunity for a few hours reprieve from their own complexities and concerns.

They were all still so precariously holding on to sanity, working hard during the day and taking any opportunity to have contact with their hospitalised colleagues and friends. They had shrugged away their underlying vulnerability, downing shots of whiskey and stale scotch at midnight, just so they could manage a few hours sleep. There was a pressure of sorts, to stand tall and strong, to have steady hands in open bodies. A necessity in the operating room, though a detriment when it came to humanity. Surgeons went home, to friends and partners, family; where people seldom cared for the superhero facade. It was something that was lacking, in all their years at college and in training; no one ever taught them how to tread that line between invincibility in the workplace and tender openness in the home. They learnt and they made mistakes, though more often in their relationships than inside the hallowed hospital walls.

And then when a hand was held out, an invite to an impromptu, easy going evening; a sense of relief flooded so many of them. The pressure had been bubbling, just below the surface.

They had an opportunity to laugh without guilt. Without feeling traitorous to those that weren't so fortunate.

* * *

><p>And they did. A few hours later, four lanes of ten pin bowling were still occupied and voices were loud amongst the blaring music and eighties, disco style lighting. Large bowls of fries and nachos were scattered across tables, beers and pre-mixed drinks littered amongst discarded hot dog trays. Callie ensured that they were all aware of Arizona's successful surgery and the catalyst for their evening. She absorbed the compliments and encouragement, quietly pleased that her own achievement seemed to be fuelling a distinct shift in mood.<p>

Chatting idly between piercing squeals and deep declarations of superiority with each strike or spare, they all slowly relaxed. Callie and Mark, encouraged by ale coursing through their blood stream, entered a competitive and serious competition when Meredith and Cristina abandoned their lane with a drunken, ongoing lament for their careless, sex filled youth. The women slid off the vinyl seats, preferring to drape their legs out in front of them, red and white striped bowling shoes a distinctive obstacle for those who had to walk over them. "They are a fashion statement, right? I mean, who could question their hotness?" Cristina slurred, one leg hoisted in the air and toes pointed inwards.

"Hot? Really?" Meredith asked, perplexed.

Dropping her leg to the floor, Cristina dramatically sighed, continuing their illogical banter. They occasionally provided an ill-timed cheer for Callie, encouraging any dent that could be made to Mark's ego. Their scores were poor to say the least, but they persisted with enthusiasm.

Across two lanes, Teddy and Arizona were light heartedly competing against Jackson and April, having taken some time to assure them that they weren't transferring any assessment of their bowling skills to their residency. Their pace was certainly slow, forgetting to bowl as the pairs similarly lost themselves in easy conversation. "It does feel good to be out of the hospital and relaxing doesn't it?" Teddy rhetorically asked.

"It really does," Arizona agreed, shifting her weight and tucking one leg under herself. She traced the seam of her jeans, running her finger from her knee and mid way up the inside of her thigh. "It's been a crazy few weeks."

"You and Callie, all going okay now?"

The involuntary smile provided all the answers Teddy needed, but Arizona elaborated, sipping at her wine. She was only on to her second, though she guessed that Callie, and most of the others were well on their way to inebriation. "It's good; it just feels right. As sickening as it is, I am just unbelievably in love with her."

Teddy rolled her eyes and poked Arizona with her elbow, smiling. She had been somewhat privy to Arizona's distress as her and Callie separated, knowing that although Arizona had presented a very established position on children, the decision to walk away from her relationship had not been easy. Devastating actually. Still, there had been only one occasion where Arizona had stood quietly in front of Teddy, eyes filled with tears and trembling hands clasped together. She had accepted a hug that night, in the corner of an on call room at three in the morning, thick tears falling to Teddy's scrubs and restrained sobs catching in her throat. Teddy wondered briefly, observing Arizona's clear elation, whether she remembered the words she muttered into Teddy's shoulder that night. _I just don't know how to live without her. I've never felt so safe, so whole._

Clearing her throat and swallowing a mouthful of beer, Teddy returned the bottle to the table. "Any mention of the baby thing?"

Arizona shook her head, casting a glance in Callie's direction, laughing as she danced to the music, ball held in her hand at the edge of the lane. "Not really. I am hoping that Callie is happy to just settle back in for a while, enjoy us."

"You're not having second thoughts, are you?"

"No no, not at all. Really," Arizona insisted. "I'm happy to have a child; I just would like that to be a little in the future, rather than now."

'Good," Teddy said assertively. "Because with my non-existent and completely complicated love life, I'm going to have to be placated by being a really good pseudo-Aunt to your kid."

They were interrupted by a range of turning heads and stilted conversations, twisting her body around, Arizona caught sight of Lexie standing quietly behind them, watching. No one really moved or invited her in to their formed sub-groups, cautious of her progressing instability at work. Arizona waited until Lexie met her eyes and then motioned for her to join them. Immediately, Lexie's shoulders relaxed and she composed herself before moving down the few steps and towards Arizona and Teddy. Mark watched her intently until Callie tugged at him, pulling on his arm until he turned away. 'Come join us, Lexie," Teddy said first, empathising with the distracted and fearful look on her face. "Although I'm afraid our bowling seems to have halted mid-game."

"Can't remember the last time I bowled," Lexie murmured softly, sliding onto the seat next to Arizona, who unfolded her legs and stretched them out in front of her, letting her heals come to rest on a free standing chair.

"I think the focus has been more on drinking than bowling. Your sister and Cristina have been deteriorating rapidly."

"They're not big on sports."

Arizona and Teddy laughed. "No, they're definitely not," Arizona agreed.

"Hey, it's good you came out," Teddy said after a few moments of silence, reaching across Arizona and gently squeezing Lexie's arm. The Attendings had such a love-hate relationship with the Residents, but their fragility at times elicited a sense of protection, a need to support.

She nodded slowly in response, taking a breath and watching Jackson blindly push a ball down the lane from between his legs. "Alex is ummm, doing better. All macho like, asking about the kids."

"Sounds like Karev," Arizona said, nodding.

"Mmm, he's keeping count of the attractive nurses, reckons it might be time for him to change hospitals."

"Oh, he's clearly fine," Arizona muttered, laughing and shaking her head.

"You're lucky that you're back with Torres, Alex reckoned he had someone lined up for you too; some story about a woman he talked to when he wheeled himself against medical advice to the cafeteria. He was very disappointed when I told him."

"Nice," Arizona teased, "he's disappointed that I'm actually happy again. That'll go against him next time he needs a reference or board prep. As much as I like Karev, I'm not sure I would trust him with my love life….Teddy's however…"

There was an easy laughter amongst them and Lexie relaxed back finally, releasing some of the tension from her body. She respected Arizona and Teddy, they were consistent and fair, they didn't seem to play games with their Residents or make them jump through hoops. They presented as highly competent surgeons who had a genuine interest in training junior doctors as well as a distinct nurturing quality. It wasn't always there, but amongst the Residents, both Arizona and Teddy were Attendings that people actually wanted to work with. In fact, many had expressed a wish behind the scenes that Arizona was in an area other than Paediatrics, so that they could train under her.

Looking perplexed suddenly, Lexie gestured with her hands, palms held skywards in front of her. "Is Bailey asleep or unconscious?"

Teddy chuckled. "Somewhere between both I think, she was very vocal for the first few hours and then next thing we knew, she was out to it. Not a chance she's keeping my jacket though," she said, shaking her head. Bailey was curled up on her side, the sleeve of Teddy's jacket draped over her eyes, and the rest covering her shoulders.

"I did check her," Arizona assured, "she's fine."

"Are you sure?" Lexie asked in bewilderment.

"Twenty hour shift, a little alcohol. It's all over," Teddy explained, before clapping her hands suddenly and rising to her feet. She waited to steady herself before pulling on Arizona's arm. "Righto you two, we're back…and ready to bowl."

"We are?" Arizona asked, shadowing Teddy as she unsteadily made her way to collect her ball.

"Yep, these juveniles have been taking our turn. Oi, Grey, you in?"

Lexie shook her head slowly. "No thanks, I'm happy to watch," she answered, pulling her vibrating phone from her pocket, sighing as she read Alex's message asking how the socialising was going. She didn't bother to answer, putting the phone in her handbag and observing the unskilled yet entertaining display in front of her. Her eyes kept drifting to Mark though, aware that Callie was keeping him distracted and continuing to provide him with copious amounts of alcohol. Still, it was the first time in weeks that she felt able to think with some sort of clarity and the air she was breathing was actually filling her lungs. She felt relieved and supported.

An impressive surgery and a loose plan of a casual celebration had achieved what expensive trauma counsellors couldn't; they were smiling and laughing.

"We don't need a cab," Callie insisted, licking her lips and moving her tongue around inside her mouth. "We only live a few blocks away."

"A few!" Arizona exclaimed. "Try about ten or twenty. Let's just queue up for a cab, it'll only take a few minutes." They had headed into town after bowling, spending an hour or two dancing and drinking until people gradually went their own way. Bailey had finally been woken at bowling, and took a cab home as the others headed in to the city. Lexie had stayed for a short while, having a few drinks before awkwardly hugging Meredith and making a mumbled attempt at a familial declaration. No one knew when Meredith and Cristina disappeared, one moment they were there and the next they were gone. It was expected really, given their inability to construct a sentence or more than a few slurred words.

"It'll help sober me up," Callie said, of which Mark and Teddy both nodded their agreement. "And this crapful line is going to take an hour."

"Okay okay," Arizona conceded, groaning at the sloppy kiss she earned from Callie. "Thank God tomorrow is Saturday by the look of you three." In a moment of rarity, Arizona received no arguments or challenges. They were well aware of their intoxication.

"Not me, I'm fine," Teddy declared, though her enunciation was slow and despite considerable effort, still slurred.

Arizona laughed with them, shaking her head as they walked towards their apartment block. She kept one finger hooked through the belt loop of Callie's jeans, halting her at crosswalks and busy intersections. "Hey, are you stealing our couch tonight, Teddy?" Arizona asked after they had been walking for ten minutes, releasing her light touch on Callie as they struggled to fit on a sidewalk that was undergoing maintenance. Areas were blocked off with wooden sheets and parts of the cemented walkway blocked by heavy red and white tape.

"Yes I am," Teddy replied loudly, one arm hooked through Callie's. "Or Mark's…whichever. Wherever."

"Ours…did you two hear that. It's back to _ours_," Callie declared, reaching back to push lightly at Arizona's stomach, where she had fallen into step next to Mark as they walked along the narrowed shopfront. "I like _ours_," she added, turning back to Teddy where she stumbled over some jagged concrete and into the edge of a lamp post. The side mirror of a slowly passing car caught her forearm and she tore it back in surprise, off balance as she bounced against the trunk of the halting vehicle. "Ouch," she muttered, leaning back into Arizona's body as arms wrapped around her abdomen and pulled her back from the gutter.

"Callie," Arizona murmured loudly, tightening her hold when they were a few steps back from the road, steadying Callie on her feet. "Are you alright? You just got hit by a car; I told you we should have caught a cab."

"That car," Teddy pronounced slowly, 'came out of no where." Squaring her shoulders in defiance as the door opened.

"No where?" Arizona questioned, eyebrows narrowed. "It's on the road!"

"Barely," Teddy muttered.

"Same car that was parked in the cab queue, pissing off the drivers," Mark stated, holding Callie's hand up and tilting his head. He squinted in concentration, moving the knuckles. "Looks fine, not even scratched, Princess."

"Yeah," Callie agreed. "Fair call. I'm fine." She opened and closed her fist a few times, shaking her hand in the air. She waited for the brief rush of adrenalin to subside as a woman emerged and stood against the car, holding the driver's side door open.

"We need to go," Arizona whispered suddenly, panicking as she released Callie and hastily grabbed at Teddy and Mark, almost trying to herd them back into moving. Her eyes were fixed on the woman, calmly staring at the four of them, a smirk plastered on her face. "Just leave it," Arizona added, feeling Callie start to stand taller and square her shoulders.

"Arizona," she said calmly from where she stood leaning against her car, a few golden blond curls shaping her face. The rest of her hair was clipped back and the familiarity was eliciting a sense of dread from Arizona.

"You know this maniac driver?" Teddy asked loudly, taking a few steps towards the car so that she stood, hands on her hips next to Mark who appeared baffled but quickly transitioning to a defensive stance.

A forced smile crossed the woman's lips and she nodded. "You certainly do, don't you Arizona? Doctor Robbins."

"Teddy, Mark…just leave it. Let's go." Arizona could feel herself struggling to stay in control, her breathing rapid and uneven. "You should never have come here," she added quietly, though her words were heard.

"I wanted to see you, catch up. I've missed you. And this must be Callie Torres; I heard all about you today."

Arizona closed her eyes and exhaled a rush of air, not observing Callie step back from the proffered hand. "This is that ex? From the card?" Callie asked, awkwardly stepping back so that her shoulder and arm pressed against Arizona.

"Really, we need to just go," Arizona again attempted to elicit some movement from the group, relieved when Teddy at least turned around and moved to stand flush against the closed shop front and close behind Arizona.

"It's the middle of the night, are you bloody insane?" Callie exploded loudly, too drunk to catch sight of the clenched teeth and flared nostrils that her outburst elicited. "She's moved on, and happily moved on. You would do well to do the same."

"I came here to talk with you Arizona, dinner or a coffee. Preferably without the audience. I'll be in touch." She slid back into the car, swinging her legs under the steering wheel and placing her foot on the break. Closing the door, she lowered the window and offered a smile. "I won't be leaving, just so you know."

Mark intercepted Callie, who quickly moved with the full intention of slamming her fist against the roof of the vehicle, as the woman drove off and disappeared quickly down the next side street. "Probably wasn't going to help," Mark muttered, pushing Callie towards Arizona where she stood staring down the street with both of Teddy's hands wrapped around her bicep. "She's a delight Blondie," Mark murmured. "Clearly your taste in women was great before this one."

Callie scowled at him. "Equally as helpful," she commented.

"Can we go now?" Arizona pleaded, swallowing heavily and wringing her hands.

"Yep, yes; I'll hail a taxi, get you home," Teddy murmured, stepping into problem solving mode far quicker than Callie or Mark.

Mark nodded. "Get 'em home before the psycho bitch comes back. She was waiting on the street for us to come out, seriously Arizona. Your taste in women…"

"Mark!" Callie exclaimed, halting his rant. "Do you want us to start on your relationship history?" She had stepped behind Arizona and draped an arm over her shoulder and across her chest. She wrapped her other arm around Arizona's waist and gripped her own forearm, holding Arizona tightly against her front. Feeling the quick rise and fall of Arizona's shallow breathing, she pressed a kiss into the blonde hair, catching the curve of her ear. "You okay?" Callie asked quietly and both Mark and Teddy halted their movements to observe Arizona's response.

Her expression was neutral at first and she nodded, eyes glazed. "_Shit,_" she uttered finally, voice deep and low. "I can't believe she's here."

"It'll be alright," Callie placated though she earned an immediate shake of the head and a disgruntled scoff.

"Unlikely," Arizona said softly, moving in Callie's hold so that she could turn her head and meet the deep, though hazy and slightly unfocussed brown eyes.

Callie nodded slowly, perhaps subconsciously realising the inadequacy of her knowledge and insight.

"For crying out loud, do I have to take my top off to get a freakin' cab?" Teddy shouted at the top of her voice, drawing their attention to where she stood, one foot in the gutter as she leant out into the street. Each taxi that passed was seemingly occupied or completely oblivious to them. "Because I will. If that is what it takes to actually get one of these irreverent drivers to stop, then I will."

"Yeah, yeah. I think you should; it would help," Mark encouraged, slyly smirking.

Whilst earning a revolted stare from Teddy, a taxi squealed to a stop in front of them, break pads screeching in protest. "Success," Teddy declared, shuffling into the back seat and indicating for Mark to take the front.

Callie released Arizona and they followed a few steps behind, Arizona climbing into the middle seat with Callie slipping in beside her. Mark provided the address and chatted idly with the driver, quickly commenting on the lack of city transport and entering a discussion on funding and licensing of which he knew nothing about.

In the back seat, Teddy leaned forward, found Arizona's hand and squeezed it. "You can maybe breathe now," she instructed lightly and Arizona released a long gasp and gave a nervous smile. Callie rhythmically rubbed Arizona's back as they drove, and although she was listening intently her eyes were focussed on the front windscreen, her stomach tossing lightly at the sudden jerky car movements. "How psycho is this ex, Arizona? I mean, that tonight, seemed weird. Really weird."

Arizona turned her face slightly to meet Teddy's eyes as she nodded slowly. "Pretty psycho," she confirmed sadly, drawing her bottom lip inside her mouth and chewing lightly.

"We'll get rid of her," Callie stated strongly, briefly throwing a glance at Arizona, as she breathed deliberately in through her nose and exhaled out of her mouth.

Teddy nodded her agreement. "We've got your back."

"Thanks," Arizona whispered, hanging her head and pressing the thumb and fingers of her other hand against her eyes. "Thank you."

* * *

><p>TBC<p> 


	5. Part 4

**AN: Sorry for the slightly longer break between updates, I hope it isn't too frustrating for you! **

**Thank you for all your comments and messages, I really appreciate them. Keep them coming, I do enjoy hearing what you think. **

**Cheers, Author's Tune**

* * *

><p><strong>Part 4<strong>

_Her hands were trembling as she reached across the tiles to try and collect the pieces of glass that had once resembled a tall tumbler. Filtered water was now dripping down the cabinet and it wet the arm of her shirt when she leant against it, trying to maintain her balance where she squatted. Her thighs and calves shook with the effort. She was crying, tears running down her cheeks; they blurred her surroundings. The pieces of glass were thick and chunky; fortunately the mid-priced set had been designed for clumsy children and adolescents, breaking into large slices rather than tiny miniscule shards. She collected the six pieces and intact base in the palm of her hand, hoisting herself unsteadily to her feet. Dropping the pieces onto a handful of paper towels, she wrapped them carefully before releasing them into the trashcan. _

_She wiped hastily at her face, frustrated by the tears that were trailing over her pale skin, mascara trails smudged under her eyes. Her blond hair had been curled and tied back, a few loose pieces secured around her face by a small amount of hairspray whilst the heels she had slipped on a half an hour before had been kicked off and lay on their sides by the coffee table. And the dress she spent a day shopping for was slightly ill-fitting now, one spaghetti strap stretched and hanging over her shoulder, exposing three long fingernail scratches where she had been roughly grabbed. They were characteristically red, skin broken and torn. The royal blue looked stunning against her skin and the knee length showed off immaculately toned calves. _

_Still, her intention of sharing an evening with her new partner at the hospital cocktail event had come to an abrupt halt. They had been excited, talking about it for weeks until they finally felt comfortable enough to attend as a couple. Their relationship, although hardly a secret, had only been disclosed to a select few close friends. The hospital gossip mill hadn't run as it tended to, and although they were both well known in their separate professions, they were barely seen together on the wards. _

_Which had made their relationship development enjoyable and without pressure; quiet evening meals spent together and coffee across town. Slow, deliberate; respectful._

_Until that night when hands had gripped roughly at her shoulders and a reddened face screamed illogically at her._

_Until the glass came hurtling across the room and caught the edge of her forehead, deviating off her hairline and onto the edge of the kitchen bench._

_And the apologies that followed, hysterical remorse and tortured regret, wet kisses and whispered words of guilt. Pleas for forgiveness._

"Shhhhh Arizona," Callie whispered, voice husky with sleep and disorientation. Arizona was curled on her side, facing the middle of the bed and whimpering in her sleep, completely unmoving. Callie stroked her arm gently, running the pads of her fingers against the exposed skin. "Shhhhh," she repeated, leaning close and opening the palm of her hand to lightly shake Arizona's shoulder. "You're dreaming, Arizona."

Eyes opening suddenly, Arizona physically jerked into consciousness, staring at Callie as she blinked quickly in succession. At the recognition, she released a long breath, mouth slightly ajar and expression flaccid. "Sorry," she muttered.

"Don't be sorry," Callie said softly, relaxing her own heightened body and shifting to press her body close to Arizona's. She repositioned the duvet, tugging it up to their shoulders before slipping her arms under it, one pressed between them and the other draped over Arizona's side, ribs evident under her palm. A few days, a week of stress and pounds dropped off her; she was already thin enough. "You okay?"

A myriad of answers rushed through Arizona's head and a sudden lump formed in her throat. She shook her head in the darkness. "No, not really," she answered, voice barely audible.

Callie tilted her head to press a kiss to the end of Arizona's nose, tenderly wetting the tip. "What is it?" she prompted, the distinct odour of stale breath drifting into their senses.

"We can talk tomorrow," Arizona insisted, voice tentative.

Silence lingered momentarily between them as Callie slowly started to stroke the skin at Arizona's side, forcing the fog to clear from her sleep-fuelled haze. "What's her name? The woman tonight, what's her name?" Her voice was light, cautious; gentle. Deliberately easing Arizona into a conversation; the darkness always witnessed their most significant talks.

"Emily." Arizona didn't hesitate to answer; she wasn't sure she could utter the words if she processed what she was about to do.

"And she wasn't very nice to you?"

"No."

"She hurt you."

"Yes."

"How?"

A tear ran out the corner of Arizona's eye and tracked over her temple and into her matted hair. What was the answer to 'how'? "It's hard to explain," she whispered, and her hand sought out Callie's, still tenderly caressing just above her hip.

"Lucky, I've got time." Arizona felt Callie's cheeks move as a slight smile went unnoticed in the darkness.

"Funny," Arizona murmured with a non accusatory tone. "It's complicated," she reemphasised.

Callie nodded and made a low, soothing sound. She opened her hand wide, fingers spread and Arizona entwined them, grip tighter than expected. "I love you," Callie explained delicately. "And there's nothing that you can't tell me; can't trust me with."

"I know that, I do. Thank you." Arizona felt Callie lightly kiss the nape of her neck, nuzzling into her almost allowing unlimited space and silence. "We were together for a while, almost three years," Arizona explained eventually, the instability of her voice on display, emotion simmering. "And things were good, for a while. And at times, later even, they were still sometimes good. But she would drink a lot, the stress with work and her family; I think me being there complicated things. She didn't know how to work it all out; she was this really competent worker, strong and reliable. But her maturity, the emotional side, she was just really young." Arizona slowed herself, taking a deep breath and lowering her head to inhale the aroma of Callie's shampoo. She had showered and washed it before bed, physically ridding herself of some of the alcohol, the toxins that ran through her body and the remnants that lingered on her body from the bars they attended. Arizona had done the same, though she hadn't bothered to wash her hair; body and mind exhausted. "She couldn't handle her alcohol, didn't know when to stop or how to. And she would pick fights, just stupid things. Over nothing. Anything at all, so she could vent her frustration, her anger. She was so angry at life, the hand she had been dealt and without any inhibitions, she couldn't control it. I suppose it was such a precarious life that she lived, you know, just pretending every day; it didn't take much for that to disappear."

"And when she drank…" Callie prompted, when Arizona lost herself in the thoughts, the memories. The justifications.

"It's what you think," Arizona acknowledged softly. "She was violent, bad at times, other times not so bad."

"She hit?"

Arizona shifted, almost nervously in the bed. "Sort of, sometimes. She would pull and push, throw things. She didn't always cause it…no, I'm not explaining that right. I mean, she would push and I would fall on something, like the coffee table. And that would bruise."

'Bruises? She would injure you?"

"Yes."

Callie gasped, lifting her head and suddenly wide awake. "Arizona," she muttered, oozing empathy.

"Bruises, cuts," Arizona added. "Fractures."

"Fractures?" Concern and shock reverberated through Callie, her question close to disbelief.

Arizona muttered an incomprehensible sound, intended to be an articulate _yes. _"Self diagnosed generally," she awkwardly added, desperately holding on to some remnants of self control.

"And the scar, on your arm?"

"Yeah. That was from when I left, I stitched it myself. I always self treated, like every good Doctor." She tried to smile slightly, shrugging; anything to loosen the tightness in her throat.

Callie returned her face to Arizona's shoulder, hiding the tears that were threatening to escape her own dark eyes. She lingered a kiss, lips pursed against the tendons, taut alongside Arizona's muscles. "I'm so sorry," she whispered and felt Arizona squeeze at her hand. "Are you okay? I mean, now, physically." Her mind reeled, imagination running away with her. So quickly she worried that Arizona had whimpered in pain rather than pleasure when she lowered her body over hers or eagerly explored her every sensuous slice of skin.

"Of course," Arizona assured. "I'm fine."

Callie shook her head. "No one should ever have to go through that. I should have known or guessed."

A light laugh escaped Arizona's constricted airway. "Calliope, don't. I didn't tell you, I just wanted to start over and I did. I took some time and I worked on my own stuff and when I met you, I was ready. You were nothing like I was looking for yet everything I needed, wanted."

"You tense sometimes," Callie murmured softly. "I always noticed it, but I don't know. I thought it was just you, just something you did when you were surprised."

"I'm not scared of you Callie, not at all. I'm not fragile; I don't want you to be worried or treat me like I am." And she wasn't; she loved Callie's strong hands around her, on her; Callie's strength gave her faith rather than fear. It was her mind's association that failed her at times, nothing else; nothing more.

"Yeah, but I can be understanding, or more open. You can talk to me or explain without having to worry that I won't get it. I would have understood."

"I know," Arizona said softly, sighing. "It just wasn't a good time in my life and I feel like I've moved on. I'm not the same person and I'm not in the same place I was then."

"And now she's back…"

"And now she's back."

"Arizona, I don't want you seeing her alone. Okay? I don't want to tell you what to do, but I'll be there. I want to be there." There was something in Arizona's responses that Callie hadn't seen a lot of; it was similar to Arizona's engagement with people in authority. The same immobilisation, a fear filled reaction that really didn't expose itself in any other area of Arizona's life. Though Callie supposed, there was so much that she didn't know. Where she spoke at length about her past, whether it be her childhood or upbringing, family relationships; Arizona was different. She murmured the occasional piece of information but most of her energy went into the present or the future; she seldom talked about anything to do with her past with any sort of depth. And it made Callie suddenly want to protect her even more, protect the person she loved who was so reluctant to disclose or talk about the past.

Arizona squirmed herself down the bed a little, releasing Callie's hand and almost disappearing beneath the covers. She turned her face into Callie's arm, burrowing into her chest. "I don't want to see her at all. I can't."

"Then you don't. She doesn't get to call the shots here, you do," Callie said strongly, repositioning herself to wrap her arms around Arizona.

"I am still scared of her. After all this time, she just stands in front of me and I freeze. I didn't think I would."

"She caught you by surprise; you didn't even know she was here. There are lots of options, if she fronts up and I'm not there, you call me. Walk away and call me, or anyone." There was a part of Callie that was trying desperately to contain her frustration and anger; the part of her that wanted to arrange Emily to be well and truly sent on her way. Arizona needed her tenderness; the gentle empathy that meant her shoulder could be cried on and arms, delved into. She didn't need barely restrained fire; she needed to know that Callie was right beside her, strong and protective yet calm; soothing. "It's not okay what she did, and it might have been years ago and she might have changed. But everything I saw tonight…last night, whenever it was…and the way she's come here. That's not rational and relaxed thinking, is it? Surely that tells us that she's not alright."

Arizona nodded into Callie's flesh and her hands gripped fistfuls of Callie's nightshirt. "I wish I could stand up to her, and I can't understand why I can't," she said, voice strained and higher pitched.

"You can," Callie whispered, simmering with irritation that anyone could destroy Arizona's confidence and resilience. The Arizona she knew, and had stood toe to toe with, stood up for what she believed in and didn't compromise. She faced her fears when she needed to, challenged authority even when it meant appearing weak and held her friends' hands when they could barely stand. Yet someone had taken that away from her, made her afraid to be who she was. "You can okay? I know you."

"I don't think you do, not this."

Callie shifted, holding Arizona by the shoulders and leaning back from her. She ran her hands down Arizona's arms and shadowed her fists, slowly working them loose and replacing the thin material with her own hands. Leaning in, she kissed her deeply, lips pressed tightly together and tongues forming their familiar dance. She pulled away. "You think I don't know you?" Arizona shrugged, knowing tears were tracking steadily down her face.

"Maybe not this part of me," she murmured, barely audible, body trembling.

"What part is that? The part of you that survived a horrific relationship? Or the part where you packed up your life and completely started again?" Callie kept her tone light and tentative, trying to challenge the defeatist side of Arizona that she had barely witnessed before.

"The part that stayed with her when I should have just left." Squeezing Arizona's hands, Callie shook her head. Their eyes had adjusted to the darkness so that they could make out each others' features, rather than just a faint and blurred outline. "I'm sorry," Arizona added. "I don't know what's wrong with me."

"I'm gonna guess," Callie began gently, after a lengthy silence, "that leaving Emily was the most difficult thing you've ever done, yeah?" She wanted to envelope Arizona and cease their conversation, but she couldn't stop. She couldn't accept the self criticism and lack of confidence that was emanating from Arizona.

She didn't earn a quick response; Arizona just stared at Callie where she lingered over her. "No," she said eventually. "Leaving you was the hardest thing I've ever done. But yeah, before that; yeah."

Nodding, Callie fought to keep her mind focussed. She didn't want to lose herself in the memory of their separation and the loneliness she knew they both felt. "I wouldn't ever pretend to know what it was like for you and the kind of control that she had over you. But I know enough, a few years in the ER, constantly setting smashed bones and stitching wounds. I've seen them, I've had the conversations; they always went back. I don't necessarily get why, though I think three social workers have all tried to explain the neurobiology of it; but I do get that it happens. It exists and it's hard to find a way out." Arizona twisted her fingers out of Callie's hold and wiped at her eyes and face, her lip trembling. "And you can tell me about it, explain it to me. If you want. But you don't have to Arizona, I can see what she's doing to you, just by being back. I don't want to add to your pressure or make you feel more trapped but, I'm right here and I'm not going anywhere. And if I have to involve the police or some court order to get rid of this woman for you, then I will. I will do whatever it takes."

"You're rambling," Arizona whispered, smiling through her tears, though her expression fell quickly. "I don't think anything will happen, really. I mean, it's not the same here, she can't do what she used to do. I know people in Seattle, I have you and friends. It was different before."

"Different?"

Arizona nodded. "She was there before me and had all of her networks at work. And I came in, extending my residency and although I got along well with everyone, I didn't have the connections that she had."

"She's a Doctor?"

"No, a psychologist. She worked mostly with neurosurg patients, doing heaps of work around PTA and then other stuff with the families and behaviour modification when patients were discharged. But she was well known around the hospital, she had been there years and had worked in different areas. Everyone knew her; liked her."

"She must have been pretty impressive with the whole acting normal thing."

Shrugging, Arizona rubbed at her eyes again; they felt heavy and tired. "She was a good psych, she was good at her job. And mostly, she was really nice…so supportive and just, I don't know, she was nice. I was with her when Tim died and I don't know, I became indebted almost. I wasn't sure I could make it without her and I think she made me think that too. It kept me there, along with all the other stuff they say about it. The cycle, the way she would excuse what she did, or make me feel responsible, and she would always promise she would get help and that it wouldn't happen again."

"Surely there were times that you thought about leaving?" It was incomprehensible to most people, the idea of willingly staying in a violent relationship. It was so much more complex though, and Arizona's profession and intelligence, in reality made it worse. More difficult; wondering what people would think of her, challenging her own thoughts that she shouldn't have been there to start with.

"Of course," Arizona whispered. "So many times. But I had no where to go; no one to go to."

"What made you, in the end?"

"Honestly?" Arizona asked and Callie nodded, kissing the curve of her shoulder. "There was this moment that I thought she was going to kill me, and it was only a moment. But she was out of control, blind drunk. I was hurt, bleeding and my ribs were broken…she went out, to drink more that night. Or to get more alcohol, I can't really remember. I just knew I had to leave, I didn't think about how or where; just grabbed a few things and left. If I had thought too much about what I was doing, I probably never would have gotten in my car."

"And you never went back?"

"No." She shook her head. "I thought about it, heaps of times. But then this job came up and it all fell into place. Once I was here, I didn't really want to leave. And the therapy helped of course, settled me."

Callie nodded and ducked her face again, trailing kisses over Arizona's arm and across her collarbone. "It's hard to comprehend, to understand what you went through." She rested her body slowly down, half draped over Arizona as she sought the familiar and comforting sensation of their skin pressing together.

"I'm okay," Arizona assured, though her voice caught yet again, breaking the syllables.

"I know," Callie conceded, though her mind couldn't figure out how. "But she's here and that's full on. You don't have to be tough and you don't have to figure it out on your own. Not this time. You'll let me help?"

"Please." Voice soft and frightened, Arizona accepted.

Encouraged, Callie allowed her thoughts to run ahead of her, knowing that sleep was likely unattainable now. "I'd like to explain to Mark and Teddy, since they were there tonight and I'm worried that she'll look for you when I'm not around. I want to make sure you have people to call or something." The words came out rushed, urgent.

Sighing, Arizona took a moment to answer. "I guess. I don't want everyone to know though, this is meant to be in my past."

"And it will be."

"I hope so." Arizona found Callie's hand and gripped it to her chest. Exhausted, she let her head drop to the side, resting against Callie's forehead and took slow, deliberate breaths. "Thank you," she murmured sleepily after a few minutes. Eyes closed, she didn't catch the tiny smile from Callie, who kept her gaze fixated on Arizona until her breathing indicated sleep had found her. Only then did Callie turn her eyes to the ceiling and silently curse.

* * *

><p>"What?" Teddy asked rhetorically, take away coffee held stationary just inches from her mouth. Her eyes were wide and hair had fallen over her shoulder and across her cheek; she didn't brush it away.<p>

Callie shook her head and shrugged, rubbing at her eyes with her fingertips before running them through her loose hair. She hooked her hands together behind her neck and exhaled loudly. "I know. I just told Mark, he's apparently discovered some deep seeded need to be a bodyguard. Who knew he would ever be protective of Arizona?"

"What did you expect? I mightn't know him very well but still, despite the bravado, he'd actually a reasonable human being, isn't he?"

"Something like that," Callie replied with a smile; he was more than reasonable, and he would scale Everest if she needed him too. As long as there was a beer bought for him at the end, and possibly an attractive woman to shamelessly flirt with. "No, I know. It was just the way he reacted, I've seen him stand ready to protect me like that but no one else really. It's nice, especially since they tolerate each other more than anything else."

"True," Teddy acknowledged, regaining the use of her hand and taking a long drink of coffee. "So, let me get this straight. This woman, Emily, is here after all this time and Arizona has no idea why?"

"Well, presumably to get her back or find out why she left. I don't know; there's not a lot of coherency from Arizona. She's understandably, a bit all over the place. "

"But why after all this time?"

"Oh, the television coverage of the shooting. We were on it…most of us were I suppose. We're assuming she identified Arizona, found out where she was."

"And she sent that card first, right? You mentioned that." Teddy was filing information in her mind, trying to construct a plan where Arizona and Callie couldn't. They were too close, too entrenched in the emotion to separate some of the logic from the perception. Teddy was trying to use the small amount of distance she had to figure out the best way to progress.

"Yeah, but then we heard nothing. And even the card wasn't signed, but Arizona knew her handwriting. I didn't realise then though, I didn't have any idea. She never said anything." Callie voice dropped and she felt a weight on her shoulders, expression filled with sadness.

"But what difference would it have made, you know, in reality? And I suppose Arizona thought it was behind her, I wouldn't imagine she was keen on reliving it all."

"I know, I know, just feeling like a crap girlfriend."

Teddy rolled her eyes but reached out and lightly squeezed Callie's arm, just at the edge of her scrub sleeve. Much like how Mark and Arizona had Callie in common; Teddy and Callie had Arizona. A respect of sorts; an allegiance by association. "What do you need me to do?"

Callie shrugged. "I'm not really sure," she said, clearing her throat. "I asked Arizona if I could tell you and Mark, just so that a few people are aware. And she was okay with that. I'm just worried about how Emily is going to approach her, and I'm sure she's strategic enough to make sure I'm nowhere to be seen. I just thought that if Arizona had you or Mark to contact as well, then it's just a few extra options."

"It all makes sense you know, the way Arizona reacted the other night. I just couldn't put the pieces together, but I thought about it a few times. Scary really. Should we have Emily put on the security alert list or just keep an eye out? Would she know where you live?"

"I don't know, I don't think so. I'm just aware that Arizona isn't keen on this becoming the hospital gossip, and I get that. And look, there might be no dramas; this might all blow over and the crazy bitch disappears from our lives and we can get on with things. Arizona can get on with things." There was some resemblance of hope, though Callie's voice was etched with trepidation. They had just managed to get back on track and settle down after their separation; it was hard not to expect some kind of reprieve from the messed up universe. They had served their duty for the moment.

Teddy nodded her agreement. "Here's hoping, hey?"

"Delusional?"

"I'd probably go with hopeful. Seriously, tell me if I can do anything. You guys must be freaking out."

"I think another night out when this is all over. I can taste the cocktails already." Callie laughed lightly, sliding off the Teddy's desk where she had been sitting. "Thanks though, really. Catch up with her sometimes will you? Check in…she'll talk to you or not I guess, but I just want to try and keep her from withdrawing. I don't know, that probably doesn't make sense."

Teddy smiled and nodded. "Arizona's pretty guarded, I get it. We generally talk most days, or have a coffee, no need to stop now." Teddy and Arizona had forged a friendship almost immediately, whether it was Arizona taking Teddy under her wing or just some shared humour that got them started. But it was difficult to recall when the frequent catch ups started, the regular coffee breaks and brief conversations in hall ways and across patients.

Callie breathed a sigh of relief. "I sound crazy, don't I?"

"Appropriately stressed out I think. It's okay, you're doing everything you can."

"Maybe we walked under ladders or black cats or something. Whatever those superstitions are, I don't know," Callie said with a nervous laugh, shrugging.

"Oooo, salt over the shoulder?" Teddy offered, smiling as she tried to collude with Callie's attempt to raise her mood.

"Glass mirrors?"

"I've got no idea, really. I think that whole science side of us means we're not so big on superstitions."

"Damn that," Callie agreed with a chuckle, walking towards the door. She turned back and visibly took a deep breath, opening her mouth to speak before closing it again.

Teddy nodded, acknowledging Callie's clear effort at keeping herself controlled and thinking coherently. "You're doing really well. And she'll be okay, try not to worry too much."

Callie rolled her eyes. "Do I look worried?" she asked, holding her hands palm up in the air in mock disbelief. They laughed lightly before Callie slipped out of the office, taking a shaky breath before focussing on her pager. She drew it out of her scrub pocket and fingered the buttons, prioritising the non urgent messages and heading towards the intensive care unit. It was time to focus on her work; to put some energy into post operative reviews and have some blind faith in Teddy's assurances.

Everything would be fine.

* * *

><p><strong><em>TBC…<em>**


	6. Part 5

**Sorry for the upload problems, I've tried deleting and re-uploading. Let's see how it goes.**

**AN: Thanks all for the reviews, particularly for the last part. I'm glad the change of pace was what some of you were after and enjoyed. I hope I can continue to thread the line and explore the different aspects of different personalities within the storyline. :-) We'll see how it goes!**

**Happy Easter everyone, I hope you enjoy the days off or if you're working like me, that the money is awesome! :-)**

**On with the part, which is a little longer for Easter…**

* * *

><p><strong>Part 5<strong>

Callie could see Arizona clearly from where she stood down the corridor of the emergency room. Technically, a new intern was giving her a patient history, though she had to admit that her focus was distant. Fortunately, she had reviewed the patient's radiology images earlier that morning, placing a few pins and a plate in the fractured tibia would be a simple surgery and wouldn't occur until late the following day. She would probably even supervise one of the residents, though she was tired of trying to lure one of them towards an Orthopaedic Fellowship.

For the previous few days, Arizona had been painfully quiet. Ever since Emily had suddenly and brusquely, announced her arrival and intent to touch base with Arizona. It wasn't that she was particularly disengaged or taking herself away from work and Callie, but there was an air of sadness about her. Her gaze drifted off at times and her eyes fell to the left of where her focus should have been. And her smile disappeared.

She appeared sad. Overwhelmed.

Finishing up, Callie offered a few brief assurances and flashed her smile. She left the intern and nurse to do the pre operative education and slipped quietly away; eyes focussed on Arizona. Comments were thrown her way as she walked through the department, a range of simple greetings and jokes about the lack of trauma calls. Not one the previous night, and so far that day, the alert system had been freakishly silent.

Placing her hands on Arizona's hips, Callie squeezed her fingers, digging in gently to the soft flesh at the front of Arizona's pelvis. "Hey," Callie said warmly, feeling Arizona react involuntarily to the unexpected hold. "Sorry," she added.

Arizona turned her head and smiled, jutting her cheek out and earning a chaste and quick kiss. "For that nice greeting? Never."

"Free for a coffee?"

"Yes please. One surgery for the morning does not take care of this attention span."

Callie scoffed. "Try having none. I'm literally bored. I haven't been bored since college."

"A double shot latte should fix that," Arizona murmured, piling up some charts and leaning over the desk. She added them to a stack and capped her black pen, slipping it into the pocket of her white coat. Withdrawing her phone, she checked for messages as she turned to face Callie. "Let's go."

Bouncing lightly on her feet, Callie fell into step beside Arizona as she patted her pockets. "Have you got cash, I need to go to my locker if not."

"Yeah, we're good. I was waiting to hear from Teddy so I've got ten dollars on me. I think she's the only one who has actually had an emergency op today."

Callie rolled her eyes. "I'm never complaining about being busy ever again. Even Mark is in surgery; I went up and watched for a while. He's finally doing that facial reconstruction."

Giving a confused look, Arizona appeared to search her memory for some recollection of what Callie was referring to. "What reconstruction?" she finally asked after a few unsuccessful moments.

Smiling, Callie elbowed her in the arm. "People are so tired of hearing him talk it up and you can't even remember what it's about. I love it. Mark would be so pissed."

Arizona laughed lightly and shrugged. "Oh well, Mark could do with a little less ego stroking. I assume it's something that is going to make the front page of a journal in a few months time?"

"I think that's the plan," she agreed, nodding as they exited the main entrance to the hospital and automatically turned to their left, joining the end of the queue lined up at the coffee cart. "Can we sit outside? How nice is this day?"

"Of course," Arizona said, glancing up at the sky. It was a stunning deep blue with only a few small light white clouds poking out from behind the hospital building. Forcing a smile, Arizona glanced around behind her, scanning the small pockets of people scattered over the grass and sidewalk. She ran her eyes along the road, taking note of the parked cars and slow moving traffic.

Callie shook her head. "Or we can head back to the lounge, I don't mind." She emulated Arizona's train of vision, scanning the environment around them before Arizona interrupted her with a squeeze of her wrist.

"No," she murmured. "No, it's nice out here."

"She hasn't tried to contact you has she?"

"Not at all, I'm just sick of looking over my shoulder all the time, that's all."

Callie released a soft growl in the back of her throat. "It's like she's playing a game with you."

"Oh I don't know. Maybe she's left, figured out that it's all futile."

_Or not._ Callie sighed heavily; she hadn't filled Arizona in on the gossip that had found itself to her the day before, towards the end of the afternoon. And now, glancing at Arizona's cloudy blue eyes, she battled with how to say the words. "Yeah, maybe."

"What?" Arizona asked, fingernails lightly grazing Callie's skin as she released her grip. Callie looked into her eyes and offered a half smile; she shook her head. "What is it?"

Stepping forward, Callie dripped her head to the counter. They were ready to order. "Usual?" Callie asked and Arizona nodded slowly, in response. "Two lattes on skim, please," she ordered, raising her eyebrows when Arizona failed to pay.

"Oh sorry," she murmured distractedly, taking the note out of her pocket and handing it to Callie to take care of. She stepped to the side, taking a small sachet of raw sugar and rolling it in her fingers. "I think I need that caffeine too," she offered in explanation when Callie joined her a few moments later.

"It's fine. My fault, I need to work on my poker face. And my timing, whilst I'm at it."

"Soooo?" Arizona questioned, drawing the word out slowly.

"It's nothing really. I just heard that she's still here, in Seattle. I was going to tell you, I haven't really had a chance."

Scowling, Arizona tucked her hands into the pockets of her scrub pants and scuffed her feet against the pavement. "How did you hear that?"

"I'm sorry, I was going to tell you. Not quite in a coffee line, but I was going to."

Arizona dismissed the excuse with a long blink and rush of exhaled air. "How did you find out she's still here?" she repeated.

"Karev," Callie said softly, stepping forward and grabbing both coffees as soon as they were placed on the counter. She secured a black plastic lid on her cup and taking the sugar out of Arizona's pocketed hand, she emptied it into the other coffee.

"Karev?" Arizona gasped.

Using a thin white stirrer, Callie mixed the granules in before pushing an identical lid on and handing it to Arizona. Reaching her hand up, Callie rubbed her thumb against Arizona's shoulder blade and let it fall to the base of her back. She kept light pressure as they walked across the grass and walkways, finding a quiet bench away from the groups of staff.

"Explain to me how Karev knows about her? He's my resident, not to mention still recovering. How did you even see him?"

"Whoa, it's not that bad," Callie soothed, tucking a leg underneath herself and positioning herself to face Arizona, who sat stiffly against the back of the chair. Seeking out Arizona's fingers, Callie tried to entwine them but found her hand pushed away and back to her own lap. "Arizona…"

"Do I have to ask again?" Arizona asked as frustration masked the more complicated kaleidoscope of emotion.

Callie took a sip of coffee, licking her lips and scowling at the too hot milk. "He doesn't know your history with her. I think she discovered he knew you and so she's tried to build a connection with him, I don't really know how they met. Somehow on the ward when Karev was post op. He thinks that she just knows you from a distance as in seen you around, and that she finds you attractive. Or 'hot' as Karev termed it."

"I don't get it."

"He asked me if we were really back together. Said that this Emily he's met, will be devastated."

"She's just using him; for someone so smart…" Arizona trailed off, squeezing at the bridge of her nose and taking a cautious sip of coffee. She liked it a little warmer than Callie, preferring it to last as she slowly consumed it over the course of an hour.

Callie nodded. "He said that she's trying to get a job here."

A rush of expletives tumbled out of Arizona's mouth and she folded forward, tapping her forehead into the lid of her cup. "You should have told me," she hissed out eventually, desperate to offload some emotion.

"Really?" Callie challenged lightly. "The fact that this is almost the first time I've seen you, let alone spent actual time with in twenty four hours doesn't come in to it at all?"

Arizona's expression fell immediately and she stifled a half, choked cry. "Sorry," she murmured, shaking her head.

Smiling, Callie rolled forward, one hand on Arizona knee as she lightly kissed her temple. "You get as pissed as you like at me," she offered. "If it helps."

"I'm going to have to meet with her, Calliope. I can't just sit back and wait for her to what, have a permanent job here? To move here? I'm so sick of just waiting!" Arizona curled her hand into a fist and hit her thigh, hard enough to cause Callie's fingers to bounce against her knee. "Ouch," she muttered.

Birds spontaneously stirred in a rush of rustling leaves from a nearby tree, spooked by a helicopter hovering closer overhead. The squawking flock drew their attention and they both watched as they gained minimal height and flew around the side of the closest building and disappeared from view. "I don't know if that's a good idea, but it's not like I have any others really. We…and I emphasise _we_, could get it over and done with, I guess. You don't even have a way to contact her though do you? And I'm really not sure Arizona." Callie was cut off by the sound of her pager alarming, a piercing continuous beep that emanated urgency. "Crap."

Arizona lifted her top and glanced at the small screen, where her pager was clipped to the top of her pants. "Mustn't be a paeds case."

"Trauma, red blanket. Straight to the OR; I'm gonna have to go."

"Go go, we'll continue this later."

"And we will, okay. We need to talk and plan; I'm sorry I upset you. Really."

Arizona rolled her eyes and offered a small smile. "Oh don't. Now run, that chopper is landing."

"Which gives me about four minutes on the way to scull this scorching liquid…I did complain that I was bored I suppose. Serves me right." Callie hesitated slightly, scratching lightly at Arizona's leg. "Kiss?" she half asked, half stated.

Arizona leaned in and wet her lips slightly before pressing a lingering kiss to Callie. "Enjoy surgery," she encouraged softly. "Love you."

"Love you too," Callie responded quickly, rising to her feet and walking quickly towards a staff entrance adjacent to the fire escape stairs at the back of the nearby building. She cast one glance back and offered Arizona a wave, trying to draw as much of the warm liquid out of the cup as she could, the temperature having dropped a couple of degrees.

Finally, a surgery – something she had infinite confidence in. Everything else, felt like she was running blind; having trust in her instincts, which in all honestly, had never been particularly reliable.

* * *

><p><em>The cold pack, taken from the freezer and wrapped in a thin cloth was soothing against her cheekbone and she closed her eyes at the light sensation. "I'm sorry baby," Emily whispered, wiping at the tears that had gathered underneath Arizona's lower eyelids. Arizona shook her head, hands limply folded at her lap where she sat on the floor, leaning back against the cushions of the deep red sofa. "Do you need me to get you anything? Run you a bath?"<em>

"_I'm okay," Arizona whispered, voice hoarse. She swallowed heavily and felt saliva force itself down her painful throat._

"_You've been so upset, Arizona…I don't know how to help. I just got frustrated, why can't you just talk to me? I'm here, waiting for you to talk to me but instead you go to work and pretend that everything is fine. You have to talk about Tim, baby. This isn't good for you."_

_Arizona nodded slowly, shifting her weight slightly and wincing as a sharp stabbing pain radiated down her shoulder and towards her thoracic spine. "I know," she found herself saying, though she felt her heart rate increase as she fumbled with whether she believed her own words. "I'm sorry." She hadn't been easy to live with, spending as much time as she could at work with any spare time spent curled up crying on their bed. _

"_I love you, you know that don't you babe? So much. I just want you to think about me, it's so hard to watch you and know that you won't accept my help. It isn't good for you to just lie around all the time. It's been months, Arizona."_

_Again, Arizona nodded. "I'm sorry." She had been talking, a little, just recently. She was fortunate to work with a fabulous paediatric fellow and he was immensely supportive and encouraging. She didn't dare tell Emily, though she was sure his wife and children wouldn't give her a second thought; her partner would certainly feel threatened. _

"_It's okay, everything is going to be fine. I promise."_

_Her eye would bruise and she only hoped it wouldn't come out properly for another two days when she had a few days off. Make up was effective at covering the beginning stages, but as soon as it started to tinge a deeper blue or purple, nothing was effective. _

_Another tough task for Chanel._

* * *

><p>"I thought she would never leave."<p>

Arizona jumped, looking up from where her eyes had been focussed on her feet, the leather shoes that had recently replaced her roller shoes. She hadn't really been in the mood for skating around deserted hallways since the shooting. "Emily." Her eyes were wide and her pulse skipped before racing.

Emily had sat down next to her, a comfortable distance between them. "You look…well you look amazing Arizona. You've barely changed." Arizona stared back at her, mouth slightly ajar. Emily was dressed in faded blue jeans and a tight, capped sleeve t-shirt, a combination of cotton and spandex. "I'm been so looking forward to talking to you properly. It's been too long, baby."

Arizona closed her eyes at the term, her stomach churning. How she despised the presumably affectionate label. "Don't," Arizona whispered, feeling Emily's fingertips on her forearm.

"You're real," Emily explained. "I had images of you in a ditch somewhere, dead."

Arizona shook her head. She was far from deceased. "Don't," she repeated softly when Emily retained the contact.

"I've missed you, so much," Emily responded, ignoring Arizona's hesitant request. "I have so much to tell you. You should see me these days, I'm a picture of stability."

Arizona swallowed and licked at her dry mouth. "You've come across the country," she murmured, though she was quickly interrupted.

"I know, it's amazing isn't it? I just had to see you, speak with you. I've searched baby, everywhere for you. It was like you disappeared, I wondered if you had gone overseas somewhere."

"No."

"I know, you were here the entire time. I wish you had told me, called me. Let me know. I've been so worried, it's been so long." Arizona gave a completely transparent look of amazement; she couldn't comprehend the lack of insight. "Oh, I know…it's okay. I know I hurt you and I didn't treat you as well as I could. I've worked through it all, we can be together again. We can make it work this time. I can tell you about it all if you want, everything that I've done. I don't drink to excess anymore, I have regular therapy back home. I've been single; I mean I've barely been with anyone since you, Arizona. I figured this all out on my own; it's what you always told me I needed."

Emily stared at Arizona, her own body fidgeting with energy and a sense of excitement. Her thumb was moving over Arizona's skin, stroking her with familiarity and intimacy. Arizona shook her head. "I'm happy here."

A look of bewilderment crossed Emily's expression; this wasn't how the conversation had progressed in her wild imagination. "We can talk more, I'm not explaining myself well. I just want to stare at you and touch you, God, I've missed you so much. You have no idea." Emily moved forward, sliding her hand across Arizona's abdomen until her fingers cupped her neck.

Arizona physically reacted, half empty coffee mug tumbling to her feet as she stumbled to her feet and took a few unsteady steps backwards. "I need to go. I have to go."

She felt tears burning her eyes as she hurried away, shaking hands tucked under her armpits. "See you soon! We'll talk more," Emily called out as Arizona hurried away, working her way back to the busy entrance to the hospital where she disappeared amongst the personnel, patients and visitors.

She walked quickly through the hospital, taking the stairs rather than elevators until she approached the operating area. Calming her steps slightly, she wiped at her eyes, trying to rid herself of the tears that continued to heavily glaze her irises. "Hey," she said abruptly, physically stopping Cristina in her tracks where she moved away from the deep pre-operative basins. "You seen Callie?"

Cristina screwed her nose up, tolerating the interruption to her exit. "Yeah, just went in. Some old dude jumped off a building, trying to top himself. Legs are a mess apparently, might lose 'em."

Arizona nodded her acknowledgement and Cristina continued her path, pausing slightly at the door and glancing back before shrugging and vanishing from view. Faltering, Arizona leant against the doorframe and drew in some deep breaths. She fumbled with the phone in her pocket and brought it up to her line of vision, muttering as a tear fell from her eye and on to the screen. She again, used the back of her hands to wipe at her eyes.

In that moment she didn't need Mark's masculinity or protection, so she continued to scroll down her contact list as his name appeared, before shaking her head in self-annoyance. She tapped at the screen until her recent calls list came up and she pressed Teddy's name waiting for it to ring. She pushed herself through the swinging door and stood on the other side of it, aware that another four operating rooms ran off the corridor that she was standing in.

"I've just gotten out, you ready for that coffee?" Teddy said, answering the phone without any need for pleasantries or greetings.

Arizona hesitated, her hand was shaking and the phone manually vibrated against her ear. "Ahhh, I'm upstairs," she tried to articulate, though the words were scratched. She swallowed, aware that a light catch, an involuntary auditory noise was emitted in the process.

"In surgery?" Teddy asked, but earned only silence in response. "Arizona? Are you there? Where are you – what's wrong?"

With a loud noise, Teddy emerged further up the hallway, rushing out of a scrub room with wet hands and cap askew. She caught sight of Arizona early though she went oblivious to Teddy's approach. Wiping her hands on her pants and pushing her scrub cap into her pocket, Teddy rushed towards her. "Arizona?" Teddy asked, voice reverberating through the phone speaker and walls.

Arizona looked up, confused. "Oh…" she mumbled, phone held still up to her ear. "I didn't know you were here, sorry."

"What happened?" Teddy asked, giving her hands a final wipe on her dark blue pants before reaching for Arizona's phone.

Arizona followed Teddy as she drew her hand away from her ear, pressing at the lock button on Arizona's phone and dropping it into her own pocket. "Callie's in surgery, a new trauma or something."

"Yeah, the jumper. It's okay; I can take you home if you need, or whatever. Do you want to go home? You really don't look so good."

"No…no I'm fine," Arizona seemed to morph back into a consciousness of sorts, groaning and bending over, where she leant back against the wall. "I just need to not be in a corridor, I think."

"Oh right, of course. Here, come with me." Teddy took a few steps and indicated for Arizona to follow her, holding the door to the stairs open and waiting for Arizona to step through.

"Umm, your surgery. Did it go okay?" Arizona asked, trying to still her rapid breathing and shaky voice.

Teddy smiled. "Yep, no problems. It was an urgent triple A, but the repair went fine, the vascular guys did most of it."

"Right. Good, that's good," Arizona responded, distractedly. "Outside isn't an option," she added, as they passed the second floor.

Teddy glanced back over her shoulder and the same glassy, tear filled eyes were back again. "First floor, one of the on call rooms I was headed for. Is that okay?" she asked softly, jumping down a couple of stairs and reaching for the door handle. Arizona nodded, walking through the door when it was opened and stopping, eyes wide at the busier corridor. "Here," Teddy said, placing two hands on Arizona's shoulders and turning her, pushing her gently forwards along the wall. Turning the handle of the first room, she found it vacant. "Ah, it's free. Nice."

Arizona tumbled hurriedly inside, moving directly to the lower bed and falling to sit down on the edge of the thin mattress. "Crap, thank you. I was trying to catch Callie before she went in but they had already started…and then I didn't have a clue what to do."

Teddy shrugged, finally glancing down and straightening her scrubs. "Not a problem. Are you planning on filling me in?" she asked gently, settling down on the bed opposite Arizona and leaning back on her hands. Arizona seemed erratic, jumping with half sentences to match her barely forming thoughts.

Sighing, Arizona nodded and met Teddy's gaze. She waited a few moments, a patient silence between them. "She's here, Emily's here at the hospital. She came and spoke to me outside when Callie went in to respond to the chopper."

"She what? She's deliberately waits until you're alone, right? That bitch needs to be taken down a level or two, she shouldn't be allowed any where near you." Arizona narrowed her eyes at Teddy's immediate attack, though Teddy had maintained a controlled tone. "Or, you know…a more appropriate response might be – are you okay? What did she want?"

"To talk to me. To tell me how much she changed, how she wants me back."

"Is she insane?"

Arizona offered a tiny glimpse of a teary smile. "Possibly. I don't know. I'm not sure she realises that I left her; that I left because of her. How can she not know that?

"Because she's a narcissistic psychopath?" Teddy muttered, rolling her eyes.

"Tell me what you really think, Teddy."

"Sorry Arizona, I just don't have any tolerance for that kind of behaviour and Callie filled me in what this Emily was actually like. I have too many feminist values, the abuse of power whether physical or emotional, perceived or otherwise is just not on. I had a boyfriend in college, threw a glass across a bar at me because I apparently flirted with his best mate. I took the bastard to court, got a protection order. This woman needs to stay out of your life."

"It's not like I want to see her, I just wish she would disappear. Go home."

"So, what did she say? She didn't try anything?"

Arizona shook her head. "No. She just talked…I don't know. I wasn't listening really and I still react that same. I don't know how to not – what am I meant to do when I just freeze? She talked at me and I barely said a few words, she just kept going on about how good it was to see me. The entire conversation lasted a few minutes at the most."

"You're not meant to have to do it on your own, Arizona. And she knows that. Why do you think she waited until Callie got paged?"

"I know that, I do. And I don't want to have anything to do with her. She might have changed, she might be a different person but I don't want to know her or that. I just want her to leave me alone – I moved across the country and that's still not far enough." Arizona reached her hand up to her neck, scraping her fingernails against her pulse point.

Teddy softened. "I actually can't imagine what this is like for you, I don't mean to simplify it."

"Mmm, yeah," Arizona nodded, feeling a rush of tears. Teddy patiently waited, observing as her friend threatened to crumble in front of her. "She held on to my arm and kind of reached for my neck," Arizona explained, tapping at her throat with her own hand. "She was gentle."

"What did you do?" Teddy lightly probed.

"I walked off, away from her. Just left her sitting there, yelling after me."

"Good," Teddy said, nodding her approval, sympathising when Arizona let her chin drop to her chest, eyes on her lap. Moving from the bed, Teddy crossed the room and crouched next to Arizona, using one arm to hold on to the bed frame, keeping her balance. "You did really well, you know that right?"

Arizona shook her head from left to right. "I can't do this," she faintly slurred.

"But you will," Teddy countered, voice low and soft. "With Callie…and me helping. Mark as well. It's different to last time, okay? This is different."

"I don't want to do it."

"I don't blame you, it's hard. Really hard. What can I do to help, right now?"

Arizona dissolved into tears, adrenalin being replaced by exhaustion and uncontrolled emotion. "Get Callie when she finishes operating?" she tried to articulate.

"Mmm, sure. It just might be a while. I'm no Callie, but my hugs aren't too shabby." Teddy dropped on to her knees and knelt just to the side of Arizona, opening her arms and giving a playful yet empathic look.

Leaning forward, Arizona slowly wrapped her arms around Teddy's back as her chin came to rest on her shoulder. Teddy silently held her, open hands tight against Arizona's back, hair amongst her fingertips.

Offering a few indecipherable words, Arizona curled her hands into fistfuls of Teddy's loose scrub top. She dipped her head and hid her eyes in the nape of Teddy's neck, tears quietly absorbed by the synthetic material.

* * *

><p>"Callie," Teddy said simply, arms crossed at her chest.<p>

"You've been here for ten minutes. Where's Arizona?"

"Downstairs, waiting for you. I'll fill you in on the way, you scrubbed out?" Callie nodded, quickly following Teddy and leaving a scrub nurse chatting idly to a wardsman behind her. "Here," Teddy said as they fell into step, holding out a hydration sports drink. "You were in there a while."

"Thanks. Now, what happened?"

"Emily came up to her, outside." Callie stopped immediately, shaking her head and biting at her lower lip. Teddy stopped two steps ahead of her. "She's fine. Nothing happened, Emily just talked crap to her by the sounds of it."

"Oh yeah, I'm sure Arizona is _fine_." Callie fumed, gripping the bottle tightly and forcing herself to take a long drink.

"Yeah well. She walked away, she looked for you and when you had already started surgery, she phoned me. These are good things, Callie."

"So what, when she was outside having her coffee?"

"Yeah, when that patient arrived."

"I was sitting outside with her, what am I meant to do? Drag her inside just because I got paged. No wonder she's on edge, constantly looking over her freakin' shoulder. We can't possibly be with her everywhere."

"Which is exactly right and she managed it. Really, she did. Half of the issue is that she doesn't think she's managing it, but she is. Yeah, she was upset but that's hardly surprising."

"She got upset?" Callie asked, drawing in heavy breaths as they entered the staircase.

Teddy nodded. "A little you know, but for the last few hours we've just talked about nothing really. Just chatted, went to the cafeteria for a while, got some lunch, she's been okay. I didn't want to leave her alone for too long, though and she asked me to come get you."

"Thanks, that's good. Isn't it? It's good that she didn't just go and hide somewhere by herself."

Teddy smiled and nodded eagerly. "Definitely."

Rounding the final flight of stairs, Callie halted next to the wall and gripped the railing, cursing under her breath. "Emily must have deliberately waited for me to go inside the hospital," she spat out, shaking her head and gripping her teeth. "The stupid…" Callie trailed off, pulling a hand off the stair rail and slamming her fist into it. The metal reverberated with the force.

Teddy stopped and watched quietly, standing below Callie on the stairs and holding a hand up when she moved to continue down. "Wait. Get a grip. You want to yell and get angry, go for it. But you and I both know that Arizona needs to not see it."

"I know," Callie blurted angrily, pacing across the stairs to the wall and back again. "And I'm not, I swear. But is this really how it's going to be? This…" Callie drew in a sharp intake of air. "Woman," she growled out, "is just going to play games with us, I know it. She's going to screw around this city until she's messed with Arizona's head again. I won't let her; if she thinks that she can walk all over the person I love than she's seen nothing."

"I know, really. I do. But right now, the person you love is asking for you. Just breathe and calm down so that you can go in and be there for Arizona."

Callie nodded and raked her fingers through her messy hair. The scrub cap she had worn for hours had slowly worked pieces free from the hair band and parts were knotted from sweat and habitual touches. "Okay," she said after a few minutes. "Ready."

"You sure?" Teddy asked.

"Yep. Let's go." She followed Teddy out the door and onto the first floor, until she stood outside the correct on call room. "This one?" Callie asked and Teddy nodded.

"I'll leave you to it. Call me," she added and swiftly crossed the corridor, no doubt working her way through a connecting walkway to go back up to the intensive care unit to check on her earlier patient.

Callie entered the room and shut the door behind her, drawing Arizona's attention from where she stood against the opposite wall, tapping on her phone as she read her emails. She dropped it to the bed at Callie's arrival and with a few steps, flew straight into her waiting arms, burrowing into her chest. Callie used one hand to shadow the back of Arizona's neck, pressing light kisses into her hair. The other wrapped around her back and held her body flush against hers, grip tight. "Are you okay?" she asked softly after a few minutes.

Callie waited anxiously for a moment before she felt a nod against her sternum. Content and safe, Arizona made no effort to move from the confines of Callie's arms.

Just a few more minutes.

* * *

><p><strong>TBC…<strong>


	7. Part 6

**AN: Well, I really hope you're all still following and interested in this fic – despite what I think has been over a month between updates! Life has a lot to answer for sometimes. :-) **

**I am sorry, I hate to leave it too long between parts, I know it's really difficult to remember the fic and where the last part left things. **

**Nevertheless, a part is better than no part, right? This one has a little bit of everything, something to slowly progress the storyline but probably nothing of too much interest to anyone! Sorry about that, I do assure you that not every part from now on will be like this. I just don't like to rush things. **

**A warning exists for a short sexually explicit scene and few expletives thrown in throughout the part. Just a few though.**

**Thanks for sticking with it! Cheers, Author's Tune**

**Part 6**

Resting the hardback novel she was reading open on the bed, Arizona drew the covers back and sat on the edge. She removed her loose fitted basic t-shirt first, tossing it across the room where it just caught the edge of the desk chair. Though seldom used for sitting, it was mostly their makeshift laundry hamper. Reaching behind her back, she unclipped the two clasps on her bra and similarly, haphazardly flung it in the same general direction. It fell to the foot of the bed before slipping slowly to the floor.

Standing, Arizona unbuttoned her jeans and slid them down her legs, stepping out of them and walking to fold them over the back of the chair. She leant over and picked up her discarded bra, looking at it in indecision before returning it to the end of the bed. Curling her thumbs into the hips of her panties, she pushed them down her thighs until she could remove her left leg and then the right. Striding toward the bathroom, she dropped the underwear into the overflowing old plastic clothing basket on route.

Opening the bathroom door, she was greeted with a rush of steam and the just audible sound of Callie softly humming over the running shower water. Smiling to herself, Arizona padded to the shower and opened the glass door, meeting Callie's eyes, wide in surprise.

"Oh, hey," Callie mumbled lightly, shampoo covered hair gathered at the top of her head and soapy bubbles tracing her forehead.

"Am I welcome?" Arizona asked, teasingly. She earned an eager nod in response.

"Of course. Always." Callie stepped a little to the side, allowing Arizona to dip her face under the spray and warm her body with the heated water. "Too hot?" Callie asked.

Shrugging, Arizona turned her back wet her shoulders. "It's fine. Good actually." She rolled her shoulders under the soothing sensation in emphasis.

"You want me to rub those shoulders?"

"Nope," Arizona said slowly, shaking her head. "It's your turn; you spoil me too much."

Callie rolled her eyes and reached out, fingertips trailing over Arizona's neck and down her chest. She gently ran the length of her sternum, baby finger catching the edge of Arizona's nipple before her hand came to rest, lingering over Arizona's slightly hallowed stomach. "Never…but I won't argue with the massage. My shoulders are killing me."

Arizona laughed lightly, abdomen moving slightly at Callie's almost ticklish touch. "You want to condition first?" she asked, grabbing the conditioner off the shower ledge and holding it poised in the air.

Callie nodded and tipped her head back under the water, soap sliding over her neck and down her back, bubbles disappearing down the drain. Arizona squeezed a large amount into Callie's hand, returning the bottle and patiently waiting. "Ready," Callie declared after a few moments, standing so that water still tumbled down her chest. She grinned in expectation, dancing her hips and earning a childish giggle from Arizona.

"Really?" Arizona asked, snaking her fingertips up the base of Callie's skull and into her hair. "This treatment is in properly?"

Callie's eyes drifted closed automatically, head lolling back as Arizona worked her fingers through her hair. "Hmmm, maybe now," she murmured. Arizona slowly dropped her hands, running them down Callie's arms before she wrapped her arms around Callie's middle. She settled for a moment, lips pursed against Callie's shoulder blade, breasts pressed tightly against her back. "You okay?" Callie asked, rubbing Arizona's forearm.

Arizona nodded. "I'm good," she responded, oblivious to Callie's slightly gritted teeth at the phrase. "You're so beautiful, you know that," Arizona murmured. "I'm lucky to have you." She tightened her hold for a brief second before releasing her hands, lingering as she deliberated between body washes. Finally choosing a thick milky butter, she squirted a generous amount over Callie's back and arms, breathing in the cocoa and vanilla scents that flooded the small space.

Taking a few minutes, Arizona worked her thumbs over Callie's tight muscles, loosening her neck and shoulders, working her way down her spine and back up again. Callie moaned randomly, sensual sounds that both encouraged and pleaded for the attention to continue. "Really good, " she purred, her own arms limp at her side, just occasionally brushing against Arizona's thighs as she was moved slightly.

"Good," Arizona answered, keeping one hand pressing into Callie's lower back muscles while the other snaked around her hips. "I want you to feel super relaxed."

"Super?" Callie asked, stepping back so her body pressed into Arizona's.

"Mmmm, yep. Super relaxed." Breathing heavier with a hastening libido, Arizona gathered some more soap and continued to move her fingers over Callie's bare skin, stopping to focus on her ample breasts.

Callie smiled and exhaled heavily, dropping her head back to Arizona's shoulders as her nipples were slowly worked until they were aroused, tight and hard. Arizona's other hand continued to sporadically knead at the muscles in her back, sliding from the top of her shoulder and around the edge of the blade, haphazardly ending up at the curve of her buttock. "Should we move this to the bedroom?" Callie asked seductively, words slowly drawn out from where she leant back against Arizona's body, eyes still closed.

"No," Arizona husked in response, fingernails almost scraping up the outside of Callie's thigh. "Here is perfect," she added, her own soapy body pressed against Callie's back as she turned her ministrations on the taut abdomen.

"We'll run out of hot water at this rate," Callie murmured, breathing fast and moaning as Arizona toyed with the small strip of curls between her legs.

She teased her for a long minute, running her fingers through the soft hair and tapping lightly at her swollen lips whilst the other hand worked feverishly, alternating between rolling each nipple between her finger and thumb. "I think," Arizona whispered into her ear, sliding her middle finger along the length of her, "that we have a few minutes of heat left yet."

Whimpering in satisfaction, Callie reached behind her and tried desperately to seek out Arizona's centre, earning a few brief gasps, as she awkwardly made contact but struggled to maintain a rhythm. "Not an easy position," she offered softly, smiling as Arizona's touch elicited an involuntary roll of her hips. Losing herself, Callie panted softly, eyes falling to observe Arizona's fingers tracing tight circles around her clitoris. Arizona expertly brought her closer to climax and then slipped inside of her, just the tips of two fingers curling inside her entrance. She moved them slightly, tugging and pulling gently before resuming her focus on the bundle of nerve endings that was evoking an endless flow of nonsensical mutterings and escalating sounds.

With a moment of clarity, Callie gripped Arizona's wrist, removing her fingers from her breasts and pushing their hands behind her and between Arizona's legs. She was forceful almost, water splashing over them as they swayed into the flow from the showerhead. "I like to hear you," she explained disjointedly, feeling the back of Arizona's hand sliding against her backside as she clearly accepted the subtle request to self please.

"I'm happy to just focus on you," Arizona whispered into Callie's ear, hot breath snaking over the cartilage.

Releasing a long, deep moan, Callie swallowed heavily, aware that Arizona had resorted to a feather light touch over her clitoris to delay an inevitable tumble into the peak of her pleasure. "Nah ah," she articulated. "Not how this works," she gasped out, moving her hands to toy with her own breasts as Arizona panted in her ear and nibbled sporadically on the lobe. She quickly worked on herself, touching in a way that she knew would rapidly bring her to match Callie, the direct repetitive flicking sensation. "Are you…ah, can you…shit," Callie murmured, eyes now closed and pelvis pitching at will.

"Calliope," Arizona drew out, voice muffled as she pressed her lips into the skin behind her ear. Her fingers on Callie seemed to lose focus, halting and starting as she distractedly worked herself closer, each pleasurable sound between them, now in unison.

"Arizona," Callie mimicked a moment later, a warning of the barest of margins. Arizona moaned her encouragement, a round of blurred _yesses_ that were gasped from the back of her constricted throat.

With a loud groan, Callie dropped a hand from her breast and held Arizona tightly to her centre, a single finger still pulsing against her as she rode the proverbial wave of indulgent climax. She was vaguely aware of Arizona cursing into her ear and the small bite mark on the nape of her shoulder that she was earning as Arizona followed rapidly behind her. They shuddered together, involuntary movements; skin on skin.

They breathlessly regained a consciousness, bodies pressed tightly together and hands still buried in the thick warmth of arousal. Arizona had her face pushed tightly against Callie's back, submerged in the wet and still conditioner covered dark hair. Her chest was moving in heavy lurches as she sought to regain both the strength in her legs and the air in her lungs.

Callie found her voice first, drawing Arizona's hand away from her centre and shadowing it over her lower abdomen. "This water is getting fucking cold."

"Mmmm?" Arizona murmured in reply, moving her other hand to Callie's hip. "I hadn't noticed…"

**XXXX**

"Hey, do you want to watch a movie or just whatever is on tv?" Callie yelled from the kitchen towards their bedroom, where Arizona was trying to locate her favourite sweatshirt from the depth of their unsorted hopefully clean laundry.

"Oh I don't care, your choice. Watch one of those reality shows you've recorded."

"Nah, you hate them. We can watch a movie, something with a happy ending."

"And make you sit through it on your night off? Don't be crazy," Arizona stated strongly, emerging in the doorway, struggling with a feather pillow, case half on.

Callie muttered under her breath from the kitchen and Arizona gave her a cautious glance. "I said I would change the sheets Arizona, you're supposed to be relaxing."

"You made dinner, I'm done with relaxing. I'm bored with relaxing."

"But you had a crap day, chores can wait. It's not like they go anywhere. You need to slow down, okay."

Arizona sighed heavily, knowing Callie was referring the brief rush of tears she had tried to hide earlier. Arriving home from work that afternoon, Arizona found tucked under their apartment door, a small red envelope. Inside was Emily's contact details, the motel she was staying at, room number and various phone numbers. She was frustrated and not really upset, but still, the tears had fallen as they had come to do so, without her explicit consent. As tears will. "I'm fine."

Callie internally swore; at least she wasn't _good_. "Excellent then, drop the pillow and go settle on the sofa. Look, I'm joining you," she insisted, dropping the last dish into the drying rack and striding directly to sit on the lounge.

Arizona reluctantly followed, tossing the pillow across the half made bed and settling next to Callie, who patted her lap and guided Arizona to lie on her. They stayed in that position for a couple of minutes as Callie worked her way through various channels before settling on the advertisements between films on the movie channel. "You've been walking on eggshells Callie. I don't want you to constantly be walking on egg shells," Arizona said finally, breaking the silence. She had spent the time in quietness going over the phrasing in her mind, unsure of how to quite articulate what it was she wanted to emphasise.

"I'm just trying to take care of you, Arizona. Be supportive, and generally just nice; that's the way it's meant to be. I should get to look after you sometimes, even if you don't like to let me." Callie knew she had been extra attentive and probably far gentler than she usually was. And she was particularly making an effort with the smaller things, stopping for an impromptu kiss and affectionate hug; making breakfast in bed and leaving the remote control on Arizona's side of the bed. She wasn't great with words, they tended to come out far harsher than she intended, but when it came to actions, she was much more rehearsed.

Knowing that Callie couldn't make out her expression from their position, Arizona scowled to the empty room in front of her. "We haven't even been back together that long, or had a chance to talk about it at least. There should be more weekends away and hot sex or dinners out and late night dancing. I feel bad."

"What? That wasn't hot sex just before?" Callie teased, fingers lightly toying with Arizona's hair, smoothing it out across her own stomach.

"Yeah and there should be more. That should be the stage we're at, not this crappy place where you have to constantly check up on me and keep your phone glued to your hip. You didn't ask for this."

"I didn't ask to be in a real relationship and to be able to support my girlfriend?" There was an incredulous tone to Callie's voice, like a part of her felt that Arizona was just messing with her, mucking about.

"Not really, not like this anyway. I'm trying to be more spontaneous, happier."

"What the hell? Are you being serious?" Callie felt anger immediately simmer, a combination of disbelief and exasperation.

Arizona shrugged, moving her elbow to lift her head and shoulders from where they rested on Callie's lap. "Sorry."

It was the lack of response that drew Arizona's attention first, after seconds passed where she moved to sit on the sofa and kept her gaze fixated on the black screen of the television. She could hear Callie s uneven breathing and she waited, expecting a verbal challenge, an onslaught of desperate words. They remained absent, silence hauntingly obvious.

Arizona's head only shot up at the realisation that Callie was moving, hoisting herself off the low couch and around the side table. A glass of water caught the edge of her wrist and tumbled to the ground, bouncing and spreading water across the rug. She cursed under her breath but stepped over it, the leg of her pants wet as she stumbled awkwardly towards the bedroom. "Wait, Callie?"

Halting quietly, Callie turned back; barely registering Arizona's shocked expression at her tear filled eyes and marked cheeks. "Don't," she muttered, licking her lips and shaking her head. Holding an index finger out in front of her, she pointed at Arizona, hand trembling midair. "Don't you ever do that again."

With her mouth slightly ajar, Arizona's forehead creased in confusion. "What?" she asked softly, as if trying to comprehend the sudden change. "What's wrong? What did I do?"

Squeezing the bridge of her nose, Callie shook her head and cupped her mouth. She wiped at her face with the back of her hand, more salty wet tracks replaced those brushed away. "That little shower performance Arizona. I don't need this freakin' idea of a perfect world or pretty flowers or whatever crap you think I want."

"I don't understand," Arizona whispered, sliding off the chair and walking tentatively towards Callie, unsteady as she stepped slowly, warily.

"You don't do that just because you think it's what I want or need. How do you think that makes me feel? Do you really think I'm some teenager who is going to bail if things are tough for a while?"

"No. Not at all, I didn't mean that; I didn't mean…" Trailing off, Arizona sighed heavily. "I'm sorry, I just wanted to do something for you; to thank you. You've been amazing, solid. I wanted to thank you, that's all."

"Thank me? Firstly, I don't need gratitude. And that wasn't what you said; you said you were trying to be more…whatever it was. Happy. You think I only love the happy you?" Arizona stared back at her, nervously pressing the pads of her fingers together with one hand whilst the other twisted a strand of hair at her neck. "I'm not her, okay. I'm not even remotely her."

"I know. I'm sorry."

Wiping at her nose, Callie shook her head. She was tired and frustrated, exhausted; and the woman she intimately knew was suddenly everything she had never been. Defeated and lost, frightened and guarded. "You have to know that you don't have to fit some image, that you've concocted in your mind, just to please me. I'm not going to up and leave; and if I do want the confident and happy side of you back it's because I want it for you. I want you to be okay because of you, us; not because it feeds my sick ego."

"I know, I do. I don't mean to screw this up; I'm not trying to. Everything is just messed up," Arizona swallowed heavily, feeling her throat tighten and a knowing burn quell her eyes. She raked her fingers through her hair, hesitant to step forward and into the warmth of her partner.

"Do you understand that I'm right here?" Callie's words were articulated slowly, painfully; with each syllable emphasised.

Again, confusion etched into Arizona's features; shoulders tensed, frown lines exposed. "Yeah, I get that; really. I'm sorry."

Callie released a frustrated groan. "Please stop apologising."

"I made you cry." Arizona's voice was soft, barely audible and her own eyes were glazed with unshed tears. "We're fighting and I, I don't want to upset you." Her words had the opposite effect and she watched cautiously as Callie dropped her chin to her chest and covered her face. Her ragged breathing echoed through the room. "Callie?" Earning no direct response, Arizona padded forward until she stood in front of her, slightly taller with Callie slumped back against the back of a dining room chair. Shadowing Callie's forearms, Arizona trailed her fingers up her arms and over her wrists, stroking the skin at the back of her hands where they pressed to her face. "Please tell me why you're crying, I don't want to fight."

"We're not fighting," Callie muttered, dropping her hands to expose a red and blotched face.

"What did I miss?"

"Nothing," she replied quietly, hands moving to rest over Arizona's hips as she bowed her face to her shoulder, blond curls pressing into her flushed face. Crying quietly, Callie gradually lost the tenseness that had engulfed her body, muscles slowly relaxing as she felt herself being enveloped. Arizona remained desperately silent, releasing a few rogue tears when Callie's fingers gripped at her shirt and the shoulders under her palms trembled.

Wordlessly soothing her, Arizona rhythmically ran her hands over her partner's long brown hair and down her spine. She patiently waited, stomach churning with a sense of apprehension and uncertainty; yet at the same time, it felt familiar and secure. For a moment, she couldn't recall the last time that she had held Callie in her arms, but there was a resilience that the sensation elicited; a strength. Callie had been such a constant over the previous weeks, unwavering in her consistency and stability. Not once had she reacted with Arizona, and it was suddenly obvious that Callie had been living her own façade. She wore her heart on her sleeve and her emotions ebbed and flowed, it was everything that made her unique and completely lovable. It wasn't the unemotional, nonreactive person that Arizona started to fall completely in love with that night at the bar. It was the half laughing, sarcastic and tearful woman that kissed her back.

"Calliope," she murmured towards Callie's ear, her voice catching slightly. She felt Callie shift her hold, moving her arms to wrap around Arizona's back and hold her tighter. "You going to stay like this all night?"

Callie hiccupped a laugh. "Yep," she said, muffled against Arizona's neck.

"Do you want to talk?"

"No." Arizona smiled lightly, though she sustained the slow movements of her hands, seeking out Callie's smooth skin at the edge of shirt, to comfortingly rub her thumbs across. "This is working for me right now."

Moving slightly, Callie withdrew her face and rested her chin on Arizona's shoulder. 'Are you okay?" Arizona asked softly.

With a slow exhalation, Callie said, "Guess it's me that owes the apology now, hey?"

"Oh don't be ridiculous, not a chance. I'm a little confused, but I'm okay with that."

"Might have been my turn to be the crazy one."

Arizona laughed lightly. "Seems fair; I think I've held that stage for a while now."

"You can have it back you know, after tonight." Callie's eyes closed as she felt her upper body being distinctly swayed and her breathing began to even out; wearied.

"Mmmm," Arizona murmured, noncommittal; it wasn't like she wanted it back but there was a sense of inevitability. "Anyway, what do you need? What can I do?"

"We can't stay here all night?" Lightness had returned to Callie's tone, though her complexion was clearly stained with tears when she slowly leaned back, fingers still joined behind Arizona's back.

Pausing momentarily, Arizona absorbed the evidence of Callie's distress. She swallowed her guilt and nodded. "Perhaps the warmth of our bed might be a little better, don't you think?"

Leaning back in, Callie squeezed tightly and deliberately breathed in the aroma of Arizona's freshly shampooed hair. "God I love you, so much."

Arizona nodded, blinking away the swell of emotion. "Me too…me too."

**XXXX**

The foyer of the hotel was fancy, large spaces and sparkling white furniture. The reception desk was overpowering in its simplicity and the white leather lounges housing suited men with laptops and iPads had likely never held a nursing infant or chocolate loving child. Her short heels on the tiled floor commanded more respect than she would likely have received had she presented in scrubs and Heelys.

When she entered the elevator, she smiled wildly, dimples on display, at the middle-aged man with a stomach that stretched the buttons of his branded business shirt. "Good Afternoon," she stated, fumbling in her purse.

"Hello," he offered in return, reaching into his back pocket and withdrawing a room card. "Can I assist? Which floor are you on?"

Forcing a blush, she nodded. "Ninth please, thank you. Women's handbags, can never find a thing." He swiped his card across the sensor and pressed the ninth floor; it lit up green.

"My pleasure. Perhaps I'll see you at the bar later on." Earning a wide grin and nod, he shrunk to the back of the elevator, leaning against the metal railing and watching intently as she exited, styled hair bouncing only minimally as she walked.

Her knuckles wrapped against the solid door before she had opportunity to hesitate; strong, loud vibrations reverberated. Hearing footsteps, she drew in a calming breath and formed fists at her side before releasing them. And then the door was opened.

"Arizona…" Shock registered on Emily's face and her eyes travelled from Arizona's immaculate formal presentation to the shuddering ice in the whiskey glass in her spare hand.

"Don't speak," Arizona instructed, clenching her teeth at the heat rising up her neck. "You do not get to speak to me." Emily stared back at her, tank top askew and jeans loose at her waist. "You will leave Seattle. You will not attempt to see me again, I do not want to see you. I do not want to see you. Do you understand? I don't want to see you."

They stared at each other, an unknown communication seeming to occur. Slowly, Emily smiled and Arizona's forehead narrowed, lines exposed. "Have you told her?"

Heart rate increasing, Arizona shook her head. "What?"

"Have you told her, that you still love me? She needs to know."

"Screw you. Go home Emily, just go home."

Arizona was aware that the room door had not been closed as she strode quickly down the hallway, knowing that Emily's eyes were fixated on her. She rounded the corner and pressed at the down symbol on the lifts, repetitively punching the button with her index finger. Rushing in as soon as the doors opened, she forced them closed before selecting the ground floor, grateful for the empty elevator as she leant forward and tried to gather her breath.

Her hands shook and the metallic taste of blood filled her mouth where she bit heavily at her lip. But amongst the haste to remove herself from the building, was a small sense of pride and the tinniest glimmer of fight. She had raised the question for herself; _could she possibly, after all this time, take back control?_

**XXXX**

"No no, I don't think you understand. I lost it, Mark. Fucking lost it. Like some hormonal teenager or prepubescent tantrum. I'm sure it was exactly what Arizona needed amongst all of her emotional trauma and work and trying to hold herself together. I was sobbing Mark, on her shoulder."

"And?" Mark prompted, arms crossed at his chest, and feet stretched out in front of him and crossed at the ankles from where he sat on the lower bunk of an on call room.

Callie paced in front of him, hands gesturing wildly. "And what? Are you even listening to me this afternoon?"

"Oi, easy. Innocent party in all of this. You've been ranting for…" Mark held his wrist up dramatically to check the time. "Fifteen minutes, and I just don't see the problem."

Callie sighed dramatically but offered a smile, able to see in some ways, how ludicrous she was being. "You're meant to listen to me rant, just like I'm meant to be able to support Arizona, without losing the plot."

Mark rolled his eyes. "Yes, Callie. You just forget that minute aspect known as being human. And it's not your style, you rant and rave and cry and yell, how long did you think you could pretend to be this weird perfect emotional object? An inanimate object at that."

"You thought I was being false?"

"Well not false, that's your words. But Arizona knows you, not just the very nice lesbian sex side of you, but you and who you are. Did you really think she wouldn't be freaked out if you didn't show any feelings for months on end?"

"Thank you Mark, for acknowledging that there's more to me than my genitalia." Mark grinned slyly and held his hands palm up in the air. "Right, so what you're saying without actually saying it, is that I'm ranting about nothing?"

"Look," he muttered, pushing himself off the chair and standing in front of Callie, hands firmly squeezing her upper arms. "I think that both you and Blondie are adult enough to realise that you're both human. I would suggest, as much as you might be interested in taking it on board, that you don't hide what you're thinking from her. Tame the anger, don't scare the crap out of her, but otherwise, you're being a little over the top."

Callie softened physically in his hold, nodding. "I just want to look after her, make her feel safe and secure and as normal as possible despite this maniac floating around. What I don't want, is her trying to pretend and trying to please me because she thinks it's what I want or what will keep me around or I don't even know what the hell she's thinking."

"Come on Torres, you're not that naive. She's probably got all these issues coming up about how she had to try and keep the peace all the time, no stress and no drama. Now she's thinking that there's all this happening and how long will you stick around for? Has she ever even had someone that has been that constant?"

Staring back at him wide eyed, Callie opened her mouth to speak and then closed it again. Mark nodded in pride, as if confident he had nailed the issue and all was sorted. And it was, as ineloquent as he was, the core of the issue was there on a platter and Callie knew it. And there was little she could do than put in the time, ride the storm and simply stay. "Crap," Callie muttered heavily, "I hate it when you're right. Bastard."

"Love it, you love it."

"Hmmm."

"So, are we good? Little meltdown sorted?"

"Yeah yeah, sorted."

"Great, then off you go, go and find Robbins. Play nice." Mark released his grip and took a step back, smoothing his scrub pants.

Callie nodded and retrieving her phone from her pocket, checked the screen for messages. "I would, but I can't actually find her. Had a message saying she was off the grounds for a bit and would text when she got back, nothing as yet. Suppose I should go pretend to be working."

"Ah, pretending to work. I've mastered the art; part of being an Attending in fact." Walking towards the door, Mark put his hand on the door handle before turning back. "So, would it be funny if I walked out of here with my shirt on backwards and doing up my pants?"

Shaking her head, Callie laughed and following Mark out the door. "You missed that boat Mark, but for the record, the Sloan method lives on."

Chuckling as he made his way in the opposite direction down the hall, Mark turned back, yelling after Callie with a juvenile cheer. "Lesbianism will never be the same!" Callie ignored his comment; bar the middle finger she flicked in the air over her shoulder. "Oh, I'm good," Mark added, muttering self gratitude as he strode confidently away. "I'm so good." 

**TBC…**


	8. Part 7

_**AN:**_ _Thank you all for your ongoing reviews from the last part, I know it was a little while between updates, so I'm particularly appreciative. Thanks heaps too for all the new alerts as well, great to know you're reading! :-)_

_Hope everyone is having a nice weekend. On with Part 7…_

* * *

><p><strong>Part 7<strong>

* * *

><p>Fumbling with the car keys, Arizona was acutely aware of her shaking hands. Each finger felt swollen and detached as she tried to get a firm grip on the set where they had manoeuvred themselves beneath her wallet and into the lining of her purse. Her heart was beating heavily in her chest and something existential compelled her to cast her eyes back over her shoulder.<p>

Emily was a mere few paces away.

Turning back to her car, Arizona hurried, hastily catching the small ring that held the handful of keys together. Her handbag fell to the gutter first, followed by the keys that she barely had a grip on. Feeling a hand on her back, Arizona closed her eyes and exhaled shakily, the hairs on her arms contracting.

"You were always dropping something, weren't you? So clumsy…ironic for a surgeon." Emily bent at the waist and picked up the two items, placing them on the roof of the SUV. She breathed quickly, hot air rushing over Arizona's neck and ear; the familiar smell of stale spirits wafted her senses. It had been so long since Arizona had been overwhelmed by the scent and the rush of memories it elicited, were far from pleasant.

'Why can't you leave me alone?" Arizona intended the words to be harsh and strong, though they were emitted with quiet desperation instead.

Emily scowled; a low growl in the hollow of her throat. "You came to me, didn't you? What makes you think you can speak to me like that?"

"You've been drinking." A barely audible observation; the only words she could think of as fingernails dipped into her hip. They broke the skin.

"And who do you think caused that? After everything…after everything we went through and all I did for you. For you, Arizona. You couldn't even speak with me. What kind of bitch has she turned you into?"

Arizona physically shuddered at the subtle reference to Calliope. "I don't want to talk."

"Then why come to me? Are you playing games with me or with her? Just tell me if you want me to get rid of her, is that what this is about? You want me to tell her you've finished mucking around with her, filling in time?"

"No," Arizona whispered. "I just want you to leave me alone; go home."

"This is my home," Emily spat out, digging her fingers harder into Arizona's skin and shaking her tightly.

Arizona's elbow jutted out and caught the edge of the car door, hard metal that would bruise and swell the soft tissue. "No," she murmured softly.

"Yep, your buddy, Karev. Did you know he has connections in psych? Or at least, seems to have endeared himself sexually to one or two of the staff. I've got an interview next week, which I don't expect to have any problems with. Staff psychologist – I can't wait to meet more of your colleagues." Her words were slurring slightly and Arizona was fearfully aware of the old patterns of behaviour. The slowly releasing alcohol was gathering in her blood stream, building momentum; bubbling frustration and anger.

"I'll call the police this time. I don't want you here." Her ribs emanated pain as they met the side mirror before she had even finished her sentence. Glass shattered to the bitumen.

"And that would be a decision you would regret," Emily declared, hauntingly epiphanic. "I've been watching you, you know; I'll make sure all these _friends_ of yours know exactly who is the stronger woman. You think they're all supportive Arizona, trust me; people always run at the first sign of trouble. I'm the only person that has ever stood by you, baby." The softness to the end of her sentence was a stark contrast to the pads of the fingers now digging into the softness of Arizona's side. She had almost forgotten the physical pain, how difficult it was to keep standing, to keep her eyes dry.

"Let me go. Please?"

Emily stepped back, drawing Arizona with her before releasing her with a heavy push, the weight of her body propelling Arizona stumbling forward and into the car again. Her right eye and cheekbone took the brunt of the impact, though her nose squashed with the pressure. Her ribs stretched and strained, pain tapping at her sternum. "Don't make a decision you'll regret, okay? I love you, Arizona. I love you. And if I have to take these people away just to have you back, I will. That's how much I love you."

They were Emily's final words before she disappeared, walking in a slightly curved line back inside the building, no doubt needing to ingest some more false strength. And it was only just after midday.

Arizona slowly opened her car door and slid in; she turned the ignition and pulled out into light traffic, tears blurring her vision. She earned a horn from the car behind her, which had been forced to break heavily to avoid colliding with her. She drove a few blocks and pulled into a side street, parking the car in the first space she could easily access. Crying heavily, she turned the car off, foot still pressed on the break pedal as she tapped her forehead to the steering wheel and squeezed her eyes shut.

It was a position she remained in for a few minutes, slowly controlling her breathing and allowing her body to return a dull ache rather than sharp, acute pain. Glancing in the mirror, she shook her head at the sight – deep red marks on her face and a thin line of blood coating the edge of her right nostril. After a few minutes of internal debate she reached across to the passenger seat and withdrew her cell phone from her purse, staring at it guiltily. She eventually used her thumb to activate the call menu and held the phone to her ear, Callie answered after the second ring. "Hey, I've been waiting to hear from you. You back?"

Arizona was aware that she waited a moment too long before answering, immediately heightening Callie's awareness. "No," she answered softly. "Can you, can you come get me please?" Her voice sounded tearful, scratched.

"What happened Arizona? Where are you?" Unbeknown to Arizona, Callie was quickly standing and walking towards the Attendings' Lounge, phone held between her shoulder and ear as she used her hospital security tag to gain access to short cuts and finally the room where her locker was held.

"Ummm, not far. Just up the hill, umm, near the closest Denny's."

"What happened Arizona?" The stability in Callie's voice was almost eerie, forced calmness in response to Arizona's clear distress.

"Emily," Arizona whispered before bowing her head and quietly crying.

Callie shook her head to the empty room, before loudly slamming her locker door closed. "You took my car?" The lack of answer from her obvious question was warranted, Callie's keys clearly missing. "It's okay, stay on the phone with me. I'm just going to get a cab from out front or something." Mind working quickly, Callie crossed the corridor caught the arm of Teddy as she wandered uncharacteristically slowly towards the Cardiac Unit. "Have you got your car here? I need to borrow it," she said softly, fingers smothering the speaker on her phone to minimise what Arizona could potentially overhear.

Teddy shrugged in ambivalence. "Yeah sure, I'll get my keys." Taking another few seconds to turn her head and meet Callie's eyes and determined expression, Teddy's forehead creased. "Everything alright?" Callie shook her head and mouthed the word, _Arizona_ as she pointed to the phone. Teddy nodded her limited understanding and quickened her pace. "I'll drive," she stated. "If you want," she added, almost as an afterthought.

Callie nodded appreciatively and although Arizona was silent on the other end of the phone, she could hear her uneven breathing and occasional quiet sniffles and shuffled movements. "Okay sweetheart, Teddy's driving. We're just getting her keys and we'll be right there. Where are you at the moment? Are you safe?"

"I'm in the car," Arizona explained softly, though it took her a long pause to respond.

"Emily isn't there, is she?"

"No."

"Are you hurt?" Callie asked and Teddy turned her head to await Callie's reaction from the answer, tugging her arm lightly to lead her in the right direction to the far back of the car park.

"A little," Arizona offered in a clear minimalistic manner.

"Should we call an ambulance?"

"No." Clear, decisive. Not a chance Arizona was going near a paramedic or emergency room.

Teddy released a mutter of realisation, a string of curses murmured just beneath her breath. All had been quiet from her perspective for the last week or two, although she understood that she was unlikely to be receiving the entire details; still, she expected that one of them would be filling her in on anything significant. Pointing to her car, Teddy lightly guided Callie in the right direction, unlocking the doors with a button on the remote. Although Arizona had joined her multiple times for post work meals or coffee, Callie had only been in her car once or twice; hardly enough to remember it's make and model. "Where am I headed?" she asked, reversing out of the car park and heading towards the exit.

"We're just leaving the car park at work; it'll only take us ten minutes from here." Turning to Teddy, Callie nodded. "Denny's."

"Denny's?" Teddy questioned rhetorically, rolling her eyes. "I so hate their food. Why does everything come with bacon?"

"I like bacon," Arizona murmured through the phone, comforted almost, from hearing Callie and Teddy informally converse.

"Arizona says she likes bacon…"

"Yeah, for breakfast," Teddy responded, accelerating a little to make it through a changing light.

They fell into silence for a minute, before Callie delicately whispered into the phone. "Did you go to her, Arizona?"

Silence filled only with internal pulse rates and the uncomfortable sound of forced phone reticence. "I'm sorry,"

Taming her initial impulse, Callie exhaled through her nose and glared out the windscreen. "I'm not mad, don't be sorry." It was forced but effective and Arizona audibly sighed in relief. "I'm not mad."

The complexity, Callie suddenly realised, was tumbling towards her. Perhaps she had oversimplified it in her mind; if she could just protect Arizona then it would all go away. She wondered if her own meltdown was some kind of recognition that this wasn't all going away quickly and that there was a part of Arizona that was still so hidden and untouched, so damaged. It certainly wasn't a conscious thing, but right then, staring silently out the window at passing traffic, she calmed.

The control was so multifaceted, and there was something unidentifiable in Arizona that struggled to tread the line between autonomy and helplessness when it came to Emily. And maybe that translated, minimally, in other areas but nothing to the same extent. She was horrifically stubborn, to the point of self-isolation yet at other times she just crumbled into Callie, like she couldn't function without her.

And then there was the part that Callie was playing, and though she hadn't figured it all out, there had to be an incredibly protective side of Arizona that had responded to her meltdown. She had wanted to face Emily, to prove to herself or Callie…or maybe to try and just sort it…it was so difficult to fully comprehend. Just too many possibilities and analyses; and right now, getting to Arizona and taking her home was the only priority. Everything else could wait.

"We're close," Callie said suddenly, regaining awareness of where they were, just a few blocks from the street they needed to turn down. "Are you opposite Denny's?"

"Yeah, just down the street a bit. There're only a few cars."

"Left hand side Teddy,' Callie instructed as they eased slowly into the street, both eyes scanning cautiously. "Yep, just park behind." Callie had her seatbelt unbuckled and door open as Teddy slowly braked, jumping out of the car as soon as it came to a standstill. She shoved her phone in her pocket, still wearing scrubs and with her usual white coat, sleeves rolled a few times. "Arizona…" she said quickly, opening the driver's side door wide and half crouching to lean in. Cupping Arizona's face, she shook her head. "Crap."

"It's not that bad," Arizona tried to justify, though her eyes filled again quickly with tears.

"Shhh." It was the only response that Callie could think of, she couldn't bear to hear Arizona minimise, not this.

Teddy had followed closely behind and now tugged lightly at the back of Callie's coat. "Maybe the passenger side is better, unless you want to lose this door." Cars were driving quickly past, swerving at the last possible moment to avoid hitting them. "Can you walk, Arizona?" Teddy asked softly from behind.

"Of course."

"Of course," Callie muttered, standing back up and offering her hands outstretched. Arizona took the offer, clearly wincing as she twisted her body so her legs hung out the side. "Your ribs?" she asked, making a few clinical observations. Arizona nodded, gasping as her feet hit the ground and she stood, fingers tightening their grip.

Teddy smiled sympathetically and rubbed her shoulder lightly, closing the door behind them as they made their way around the car and repeated the process on the passenger side. "Thanks Teddy," Arizona said, "for driving here."

"All sorted," she replied. "Now, do I need my first aid kit from the trunk? It's been a while, being a little cardiac focussed and all, but I still vaguely remember some basic skills." The brief lightness was well received and all three smiled.

"No. Thank you. Really, it's just some bruises I think." She allowed Callie to guide her into the car, avoiding the stares that she knew were focussed on her face.

Teddy crouched in the open door next to Callie, emulating her position. "Maybe a _few bruises_ for Emily, wouldn't be such a bad thing."

"Mmmm," Callie said, nodding, "my sentiments exactly."

"I was stupid for going there, really stupid. I just made her angry. Obviously."

"What were you doing there?" Callie asked as she reached forward and lingered her open palms on either side of Arizona's ribs. She felt her guarding involuntarily and kept her gaze fixated on Arizona's face, waiting for her to relax before lightly adding pressure.

Arizona closed her eyes at the wave of pain, grateful when Callie returned to tenderly rub her thighs. "I just want her to go and I thought, I guess I thought that if maybe I just told her that directly, then she wouldn't stay."

"I could have gone with you," Callie assured gently and Teddy nodded her agreement.

"I know. I thought that would make it worse, harder. And I wanted to do it myself."

"How did," Teddy gestured towards Arizona, waving her hand, "this all happen?"

Arizona traced her fingers under her eyes, wiping at the wetness she was aware had slowly gathered above her cheekbones. "Into the car," she explained, pitch disjointed. "She followed me out. And had been drinking. I couldn't get the key; I wasn't quick enough."

"Okay," Callie responded quickly, wanting to avoid Arizona's dissolution in the car and on the side of the street. "Do you want to go home?"

Reacting to Arizona's nod, Teddy reached forward and squeezed her hand, smiling slightly as it was gripped back. "I'll take care of work, let them know you both are out for, what, a couple of days, yeah?"

"Yes," Callie rushed to answer before Arizona had an opportunity to challenge. "Thank you."

Closing Arizona's door, they walked back to Teddy's car and Callie took a moment to collect her workbag whilst Teddy waited patiently. "You need anything, Callie?" Teddy asked when she emerged.

Shrugging but shaking her head, Callie said, "Nah, I don't think so. Thank you so much though. Really."

Stepping forward, Teddy pulled her in for a brief hug and Callie responded with a shaky breath. There were tears in her eyes when they separated. "I'll call in tomorrow sometime, after work. I'll call first, but anything at all, just let me know."

Callie nodded. "Thanks."

A minute later and both cars were accelerating on to the main road, wishing the ordeal were somewhat more in the rear-view mirror.

* * *

><p>Knocking on the bathroom door, Callie slowly twisted the knob and held the door open a crack. The shower had ceased almost ten minutes before and Callie had become progressively concerned as the minutes ticked past and Arizona didn't emerge freshly bathed. "Can I come in?" Callie rested her head on the doorframe as she waited for a response.<p>

"Yeah, you don't have to ask," Arizona answered, semi-dressed and toothbrush in her mouth.

Callie opened the door wide and slipped in, pushing it half closed behind to retain the heat still lingering from the shower steam. Crossing the room, Callie sat down on the closed toilet seat lid and silently ran her eyes over Arizona.

Void of make up, her skin was pale and exposed, deepening red marks over her cheek and around her eye were already starting to appear more fully. There was a small a scratch running from the corner of her eye and towards her temple, though it was only mildly visible. The emerging bruises would start turning a tinged blue by morning. Dressed in a basic black spaghetti strapped singlet that covered the waistband of her hipster boy leg panties, there were few directly injured body parts, for Callie to quietly examine.

Spitting toothpaste into the sink, Arizona continued to awkwardly brush with her left hand, right arm stationary in a half bent position across her abdomen. The elbow was clearly swollen, skin puffed out over the joint where the long arm bones met. "Did you manage a decent shower?" Callie finally asked, waiting for Arizona to finish her meticulous process.

"Yeah, actually. Pretty good."

"If you want, I can brush your hair and braid it?"

Arizona smiled, wet hair gathered inside of a towelling hair turban. It was something Callie always offered to do when Arizona was upset or quiet, no matter what the cause was or whether she was even aware of it. And Arizona loved it; she found having someone run her fingers through her hair or rhythmically brush it, completely relaxed her. She had, on occasion, found herself daydreaming of being a little girl and her mother slowly working out knots and forming a long plait as they waited for her father to return from another deployment. It brought comfort and a sense of connectedness.

"Please," Arizona answered with a nod.

"Will you let me check you over first?"

"I'm okay."

"For me?"

"Okay, Calliope," Arizona whispered, switching on another bathroom light and taking the few steps to stand in front of Callie.

Reaching for Arizona's arm first, Callie gently fingered the muscle and tissue on either side of her elbow. "Can you move it?" she asked and Arizona complied, demonstrating a slightly restricted range but certainly moving it.

"It's just swollen, it's not broken,' Arizona explained.

"Hey, who's the Ortho God here?"

"Well then, what do you think?"

"I think, it's swollen but not broken," Callie replied with a coy smile, pressing a little harder to test out the joint. Arizona winced but didn't complain and Callie nodded in acceptance. "Shouldn't take too long, a few days maybe and it'll feel heaps better."

"I agree with your assessment Doctor Torres."

"As you should," Callie agreed, stopping to press a light kiss to Arizona's hand, lips gliding over her knuckles. "Can I?" she asked, moving her hands to the hem of Arizona's shirt.

Sighing, Arizona nodded; she knew that Callie would react, just as she had when she glanced in the mirror. Callie slowly and gently folded the shirt up, so that it doubled over Arizona's bra covered breasts. She audibly gasped, holding her hands, just from touching Arizona's torn and bruising skin.

"Sorry," she murmured, apologising for her unmasked shock.

Arizona nodded, guiding Callie's hands to rest against her bare stomach. With her bowed head, a tear fell and landed on the back of Callie's hand, neither of them brushed it away. "Not great,' Arizona whispered, as if acknowledging and validating Callie's reaction.

"Are they fingernail marks?" she asked, lightly tracing the mildly scabbed indentations that littered both hips and sides.

Chewing roughly on her lower lip, Arizona wiped at her cheeks. "Yeah."

"Shit." The word lingered in the air; there seemed little else that could adequately convey everything she was looking at. It seemed to simply and adequately sum up the day. She focussed for longer than was necessary and Arizona quietly complied, standing there and feeling a myriad of emotions until Callie moved on to her ribs. She examined her back first, tenderly pressing at various places until content that all appeared unaffected. Gently turning Arizona back to her, Callie intently scrutinised the marked ribs and selected a few spots to place pressure on. Arizona withstood the attention, with a tolerance that Callie's patients seldom had. She involuntarily groaned a few times, and obediently drew in a deep breath at Callie's requests.

Callie shrugged. "Maybe cracked one or two but they don't need any treatment or anything. What do you think?"

"Same," Arizona agreed. Gradually, Callie brought her open palms to rest against Arizona's bare skin, covering the distinct indentations with her most tender touch. Eyes open, she leaned forward until she could place feather light kisses to Arizona's stomach, working her way around her navel. Only then did she return the cotton top to its original position, covering the horrific marks.

She felt Arizona first, trembling under her movements and glancing up, she found her face crumpled, unable to quite conceptualise the dichotomy of her day. Callie's loving and cautious touch a stark contrast from the fingernails that cruelly ploughed into her. "I've got you," she assured, tucking dark hair behind her eyes before standing and opening her arms in invitation for Arizona to burrow into her. And with her hands tucked against her chest, Arizona fell against Callie, face pressed into her neck and legs weakening with the effort of holding herself upright.

Callie wrapped both arms around her, tugging gently to remove the hair wrap, and disposing of it to the floor as wet, tangled blond hair tumbled over Arizona's shoulders. In the small acoustic bathroom, Arizona's sobs reverberated, perhaps more heart wrenching then they otherwise would, each syllable echoing and each cry more tortured than the one before.

"I've got you, Arizona. I'm here. I've got you," Callie softly soothed, over and over until it seemed that the words weren't forming correctly anymore.

And still she cried.

Slowly, Callie eased her to the damp tiles and with an identifiably pained whimper; she immediately curled against Callie's body. Her bare legs tangled amongst Callie's jean covered calves and her hands unfolded to grip handfuls of soft cotton. With her face against Callie's chest, she finally drew in deep, calming breaths to the soothing sound of a beating heart.

"I love you." The final declaration was almost inaudible, yet a perceptible nod emerged in response from Arizona, hair tangling further under the movement.

"I love you too."

* * *

><p>It was three in the morning, and Callie sat bleary-eyed, staring at the bright screen of her laptop in the darkened kitchen. Her mind was reeling.<p>

Domestic Violence Protection Orders.

Assault Charges.

Criminal Legal Services.

Civil Legal Services.

Tears tumbled down her cheeks and the screen blurred. One in four women subjected to domestic violence, statistics that meant nothing but at the same time, meant the world. Tissues were gathering on the counter top, she blew her nose; it ran more. She wiped at her eyes; sobs were stifled in her throat.

She closed the computer, then passed the trashcan and walked back into their bedroom, sliding into the bed next to Arizona, who had barely moved in five hours. She slipped an arm over her chest, carefully, and Arizona snuggled unconsciously back against her cool, pyjama clad skin. She mumbled in her sleep; something incoherent.

Callie murmured back, though mostly in her mind. An endless ream of apologies; for what, she wasn't sure. But she had never felt so helpless in her life. She was apologetic for her perceived inadequacy.

Still, it didn't feel like enough.

**TBC…**


	9. Part 8

**AN: **Thank you for a heap of reviews, messages and alerts for the last two parts. I'm hoping you're still enjoying this, given the finale this week and that the slow pace isn't too frustrating for you. Feel free to let me know if you're getting bored. :-)

Thanks again, I hope everyone has a/is having a, brilliant weekend.

On with the part...

* * *

><p><strong>Part 8<strong>

Lightly fumbling with a carton of milk, Callie nodded superfluously, phone held between her shoulder and ear. "I know, I couldn't agree more. But it's not you and I that have to agree. Any brilliant ideas on how we might convince Arizona?"

Teddy hummed through the small speaker, biding her time as she considered the possibilities. "You want me to try?" she asked.

"To convince her?"

"Yeah, well, sort of. I can at least try talking to her."

Callie muttered under her breath. She had no idea, really; of what direction to go in. Arizona had withdrawn a little, slipping deliberately and craftily out of any conversation that seemed to be directed towards a course of action. For three days she had avoided discussing legal avenues with Callie, choosing to keep herself locked in the apartment without once stepping outside.

Having been called into work a few times for emergency surgeries, traumatic amputations and femoral compromises; she had returned to find the door not only with both locks in place, but the chain as well. Arizona had taken minutes to get to the door and Callie suspects had been behind a locked bedroom door as well.

"I can't seem to get anywhere, so I think that sounds like a great idea," Callie conceded. "Hey, did I tell you that I think I saw the bitch outside the hospital yesterday? Or at least, I think it was her."

"You're kidding me?"

"No, I'm serious. She was leaning back against a car, parked right outside. And just seemed to be watching. I mentioned it to security; that one that always talks to us on the wards. Bappler, or Baddler or whatever that nickname is that he goes by."

"Oh yeah, the balding guy. Bladdler I think, it's his surname. He seems to think I enjoy football, always asking me about the game on the weekend. I have no idea what he's talking about."

"Yeah yeah," Callie agreed, "that's him. Anyway, I asked him to go and check on her, see who she's waiting for and move her on. I may have suggested that I had seen her around and thought she was odd. Perhaps a mental health patient."

Teddy laughed loudly. "Nice."

"I thought so. What is she doing? Casing the hospital and waiting for Arizona to front up?" Dropping her voice to a whisper, Callie heard the distinct sound of movement behind the bedroom door, footsteps and then the ensuite faucet running.

"Psychopath. So, what's the plan for the rest of the day? When would be good for me to come over? Are you working at all?"

"I've got to go in for a couple of hours, there's that pathway meeting on at one, I think."

"Pathway?"

"I don't know, some crap that they're throwing funding at. We've got to create an entry to exit pathway document for trauma patients, and it's going to be used as a policy for accrediting trauma centres. Apparently I was volunteered for the working party."

Again, Teddy laughed. "Somehow I manage to dodge most of that bureaucratic nonsense, must be the rant I give at the mere mention of another procedural document." She paused momentarily, clearly struggling to open her locker as the metal groaned and then scraped loudly. "Ouch. I guess it would be good for me to come around then, right? If you think that would suit."

Callie again nodded to the empty room. "Yep," she said, releasing her shoulder and holding the phone with her hand. "I'll just let Arizona know that you're calling by."

"Sure, best not to completely freak her out just by knocking on the door."

"Thanks Teddy. I appreciate it; let me know how you go."

They exchanged a few pleasantries before disconnecting the call, leaving Callie to stretch out her neck spasm. She would never learn to just stop and talk on the phone; she always had to be doing something else at the same time. And it was evidenced by the half concocted smoothie on the bench, ingredients spread out in front of her. Focussing, she secured the blender and removed the lid, rising onto her tiptoes and poking her nose inside. She couldn't remember the last time she had used it, but it was clean and thankfully non-odorous.

Peeling two bananas, she loosely broke them into pieces with her fingers and dropped them into the bottom. Following with a handful of chopped strawberries, she discarded the stems into the trash. Adding some milk and greek yogurt, Callie tapped her fingers on the benchtop, undecided on whether to add some mango flesh and a few spoonfuls of vanilla icecream.

A few seconds later, the decision was made. Mango pieces splashing milk as they were dropped into the glass, quickly followed by two scoops of icecream. And then a third. Callie smiled to herself, Arizona would probably roll her eyes at her ability to take a perfectly healthy morning drink and make it quickly into a decadent snack.

She was just finishing blending the ingredients and pouring the thick liquid into two large clear glasses when Arizona emerged, hair pulled back in a messy ponytail and dressed in a loose pair of jeans and a sweatshirt. "I thought I heard the blender," Arizona said, walking into the kitchen. "Did you make smoothies?"

Callie nodded, maintaining wide eyes and a light expression. She still hadn't gotten used to the slowly fading purple bruises on Arizona's face, though she found herself struggling to keep her eyes off of them. A light pressed powder did little but take the edge off the bruising, just blending the edges so that it gradually faded to her pale skin. "Surely did; tastes awesome," Callie responded, tipping one of the glasses to her lips and lapping at the liquid. "Mmmm," she emphasised.

"Is there one for me?"

"Maybe…"

"Please?" Arizona teased playfully, slowly walking closer to Callie and resting her head momentarily on her shoulder.

Shrugging, Callie grinned but held her glass to Arizona's lips. "You should try it first, make sure you like it."

"Oh I'll like it," Arizona insisted, but opened her mouth sipped willingly. She closed her eyes briefly. "So good. It's cold, tastes like a shake."

Laughing lightly, Callie gave a guilty glance before handing Arizona her own glass. "That might be because I added a little icecream…" She strode off towards the sofa, twenty four hour news channel playing on the screen.

"Might be?" Arizona asked, laughing as she following. She walked slowly, pausing to drink before resting the glass on the coffee table. She winced as she sat, trying to hide the stiffness in her lower back and the dull ache that her ribs emanated. It was hard to not notice though and Callie watched in concern, observing the few seconds it took for Arizona to slowly relax back against the cushions. "You're working this afternoon, yeah?"

Callie nodded, twisting her legs up on the chair and resting an arm behind Arizona, fingertips able to lightly rub at her neck or play with her messy curls. "Just a few hours."

"Sure," Arizona murmured in response, vaguely watching the television without really paying attention.

They sat in a somewhat expectant silence before Callie eventually broke it, voice a little hoarse despite her internal dialogue. "Arizona…" she said, trailing off as Arizona shook her head.

"Just, don't. Please? Can't I just sit here with you? Please, Calliope. I just want to be here, with you, without," she looked between them and shook her hand out in front of them, "this."

Exhaling with a long sigh, Callie reluctantly nodded and inched closer to Arizona until she could hold the back of her head securely and press a light kiss to her temple. "Yeah," she whispered, "of course you can. I'm sorry." She wasn't sorry for wanting Arizona to talk, for them to talk about what they were going to do, together. But she was incredibly sorry for the desperate look that crossed Arizona's face, the almost fearful expression that everything safe and secure was going to be lost in an instance. The guilt it elicited.

And she curled against her, all bones these days that seemed to poke at Callie, as if proof of how out of control they really were.

Arizona needed to talk and eat; to breathe again in a way that didn't make it seem like she was drowning and gasping oxygen out of water. "Soon," Arizona murmured, voice muffled. "I promise."

"Okay," Callie conceded, forcing another smile and a kiss into Arizona's hair. "Will you have some more?" she asked a few moments later, holding her emptying glass in front of Arizona.

She nodded and drank, taking multiple gulps before stopping for air. The cool, milky drink soothed her tight throat, loosening the tenseness that she found constricting her oesophagus. She took a few more long drinks, drawing the last drops. "We need straws," she muttered lightly, wiping the corner of her mouth on Callie's shirt.

"True." Breathing a small sigh of relief, Callie leaned them both forward so that she could replace the empty glass with Arizona's almost full one, before settling back again. Arizona squirmed back into position; face nestled comfortably above Callie's breasts. "Can I tell you something?" Callie asked quietly.

Arizona paused nervously. "Yeah, I mean of course," she rushed, though Callie waited, palm stroking over Arizona's arm until she relaxed again under her touch.

"I don't tell you enough, and I want to make sure you know. These are things that I've never meant so much, in all of my life. So, you have to believe me; do you think you can do that?" There was such an air of uncertainty and hesitance, each thought a little jumbled and awkward. Arizona just nodded into her chest. Bowing her head so that her mouth was close to Arizona's face, Callie strengthened her resolve. "I want you to know, that I am not going anywhere. I lost you once, and it was the most horrible, horrific time, of my entire life. I love you, so much, and I will be here for as long as you possibly want me. And probably a little longer than that, because I'm stubborn and I don't give up easily, as you may just remember," she tried to lighten her voice, add some humour amongst the seriousness. "I just want you to know that. I am not going anywhere, no matter what."

Shakily, Arizona closed her eyes and wrapped her arm tighter around Callie's waist. "Will you remind me sometimes?" she asked, quietly.

"Every day, if that's what you need."

"I'm getting there, 'kay? Just be patient."

Callie smiled and squeezed her back, drinking slowly out of their second shared glass. "More?" she asked, after a moment and Arizona nodded, relief relaxing her expression. "This really is good," Callie added, though Arizona rolled her eyes. "What? It is…"

* * *

><p>"Hey, it's only me, Arizona. Did Callie tell you I was calling by?" Teddy said loudly through the door, rapping her knuckles lightly against the frame.<p>

The locks loudly unlatched, metal scraping before the door inched open. "Yep," Arizona said politely, waiting for Teddy to step through before closing it behind her. She flicked only one lock. "She wasn't sure what time though, they taking it easy on you at work?"

Teddy grinned and stepped forward, hugging Arizona carefully. "Cristina can run the show just about; I think I'm only there for accountability. But how are you? You look better."

Laughing a little, Arizona led them into the lounge. "You're too kind, and completely lying. But I appreciate that." They sat down easily, having chatted more than a couple of late nights away on the same sofa. "Oh, you want a drink or anything? Callie has the fridge stocked with everything from soda to bottled water and various alcohols. It's odd, we're usually lucky to have some old, out of date, sauces in there."

"No, thanks. I'm fine; I just had the most sickening burger from the cafeteria. One of those things that seemed like a good idea at the time."

"You went for the daily special?"

"I know. I'm an idiot, what was I thinking?"

"Hunger probably," Arizona offered, shuddering at the thought. "How's work been?" she asked after a moment. "A donor heart hasn't come through for little Duncan?" He was a four year old that Teddy and Arizona had worked tirelessly for months, finally relenting and connecting him to an external artificial system as they desperately waited a donor. It was a last resort and without one, he would be lucky to last another month or two. In fact, an infection at the moment would ultimately take his young life, just a victim of the twisted nature of genetics.

Teddy shook her head. "Nah, he's top of the list but there just hasn't been anything. It's been almost a month according to the coordinator since any child donation has occurred, and even that was over on the East Coast. It's a bit unusual."

"How are they doing?" He was a beautiful little boy, blonde hair and blue eyes and this infectious little laugh that exposed one dimple on his left cheek. His mother had kept a vigil by his side, whilst his father, or, as his mother referred to him, the _adulterous asshole_, had long since disappeared into the wilderness.

Teddy shrugged sadly; she had no idea how Arizona watched sick and dying children day in, and day out, for years on end. "Given the circumstances, okay I suppose. She seems to have become a bit resolute; she knows we're running out of time."

"Crap," Arizona muttered. "Make sure you tell me if he really deteriorates, I should be there."

Nodding, Teddy murmured a sound of agreement. "Speaking of," she added, "how are _you_ doing?"

Arizona raised her eyebrows and gave a timid smile; Teddy was nothing if not transparent. "What does Callie say?" Though her words could be interpreted as anger driven, she maintained an even and somewhat non-insulted persona. She knew Callie was worried.

Offering a small laugh, Teddy smiled, crossing her legs and taking a throw cushion from next to her and placing it on her lap. She played with the material and loose threads as she glanced at Arizona. "It's her prerogative to stress about you, comes with the territory."

"I am, feeling better. It's good to not be quite as sore."

Teddy cocked her head to the side. "Wounds heal, you know that."

"Yeah, leave a few scars but that's about it."

"More than a few, sometimes."

Arizona's expression mirrored Teddy's, reflective; contemplative. "You been watching Doctor Phil?"

Lightly chuckling, Teddy colluded momentarily. "Yep, during all those days off I get. You know how it is."

"He _shits_ me."

"Eloquent, Arizona."

"All action, hard rules; tough love and all that crap."

"Whoever thought therapy would make good television probably needs their own counselling. Mind you, he would be earning more in a week than we do in a year I suspect." Arizona nodded her agreement, squinting one eye at some internal calculations, her gaze gradually falling back to her lap. "So…" Teddy prompted.

Voice soft, Arizona replied, "I'm good."

"You know, I'm happy to sit here and make small talk, chat about work or day time television. But it won't stop Callie from worrying any less and it won't obviously, help you sort out any of that no doubt, massive stress going on in your own head. Not to mention, it's not really us; the way we do things. I think 'straight to the point' would be how I describe our usual communication."

Arizona breathed slowly. "You make us sound all rude and, probably weird."

"Hardly, you do have the reputation for being all chirpy around work."

Face falling, Arizona tucked a few loose pieces of hair behind her ears, they kept escaping and drifting around her face and in front of her eyes. Purple and blue peaking out behind the blonde. "Hmmm, not so much, right now."

Teddy shook her head. "Not so much," she confirmed.

"Callie wants me to take out a protection order."

"Did she say that?"

"Not in so many words, I haven't really let her. But I know that's what she wants me to do."

"And you don't." It wasn't so much a question as it was a soft acknowledgement.

Playing with the joints on her fingers, Arizona sighed. "It's not that simple, though I know that it seems like it is. To you, to Callie, it's like a no-brainer. But I have my reasons, it's not like I'm just scared."

Waiting patiently for Arizona to continue, Teddy twisted her position so that she faced her friend, cushion still resting on her legs. "What kind of reason?" she asked quietly, when no elaboration followed.

Arizona seemed to suck in her lip and lightly chew on the slightly chapped surface. "I'm not…" she trailed off softly.

"Straight to the point, remember."

Sighing, Arizona offered a small smile, relaxing back and meeting Teddy's persistent gaze. "You've seen what she can do, right?" Arizona asked, gesturing towards her face. "And this was nothing really. Just a taste I guess, of what she could have done. What she has done, in the past."

"Mmmm," Teddy encouraged.

"She's made threats, Teddy. And it's not as easy as just getting a court order, that doesn't keep her away. It's just a piece of paper; it means nothing. Not to her, anyway."

"Is it not something though? Having it, going through the process, doesn't that send some kind of message?"

Arizona scoffed. "You don't know her, none of you do. I moved across the country, that was the only thing that worked and still, she waited and searched."

Nodding, Teddy darted her focus around the room. She wasn't sure where to go or whether to push. How hard to push if she did. "I know that the piece of paper itself doesn't stop her. I do. I just don't know what the other options are, I mean, this isn't okay. What she did. The threats, what did she say?"

"Ohhh, yes. Ahh, Callie," Arizona struggled to articulate, stammering. "And others, my friends, colleagues. She knows more than you think. And yeah, she said she would get Callie."

"She wouldn't just be shooting her mouth off?"

Arizona shook her head sadly. "That's the thing, no. She'll do it, she'll follow through. I don't know how to tell Callie, tell her that I've put her at risk. You're both asking me to put us all in danger, someone will get hurt. Really hurt, because of me."

"Right," Teddy murmured, nodding but shifting her weight. Untangling her legs, she placed a foot on the carpet square in front of her and shuffled forward. Forming two closed fists, she smiled at Arizona and gently tapped her knuckles to the blonde's thigh. "See, the issue is that someone has already been hurt, and far too much. It's different, for Callie. And for Mark and I and anyone else for that matter, we're different and we're not involved. It's like a stranger coming up to us in a bar and throwing a punch, or a crystal meth patient down in emergency, trying to abuse the crap out of us. We don't let that happen to we? We walk away, or we call security or we put some of that mandatory training into practice. Just like you would. And that makes sense to you, yes?"

"Yeah."

"But?"

"But it's not that simple, Teddy." Arizona understood the contradiction and irrationality of her words and of her desperate need to protect the people she loved when she was the one that needed it. She lightly pushed at Teddy's shoulder, trying to playfully hold on to her humour without slipping into a rush of self-loathing. Silence fell between them, just a moment too long as a discomfort settled. "What if she really hurts her?"

"Callie?"

"Yes."

Teddy shook her head. "I don't know, Arizona. Something tells me Callie knows how to protect herself, and I've never seen her fire up anything like she has when talking about what has happened to you. I wouldn't want to cross her right now."

"She can't fight, like at all. I grew up knowing how to defend myself and look what happened. Callie is all mouth, but in reality she's more likely to lick you to death."

"She doesn't have to fight. That's not what this is about; she would just have to be assertive, strong. Which she can do, I know you know that. And I think you need to make this decision about looking after yourself. Let us take care of the rest. All you need to do is make the right decision for you, everything else, we can handle. You and Callie can handle."

She was wavering, a hesitation in her conviction. "You and Mark?"

Teddy grinned. "Military chick. I dare her to take me on and I promise I'll protect Mark too," she teased, watching Arizona take a shaky breath but smiling through her thoughts.

"I just don't know what to do."

"Yeah, I know," Teddy agreed, "and I don't want to force you to do anything that you're not comfortable with. And Callie doesn't either. But if you need swaying, you got it."

"I need to talk to Call."

"Yes, yes you do."

"I don't even know if we can do anything, you know. I didn't go to the hospital, there're no medical records. I don't think, 'my orthopaedic attending girlfriend' examined me is really going to cut it in court."

Teddy shrugged and leaned back, squeezing Arizona's forearm briefly as she moved to get more comfortable, feet stretching out and coming to rest on the coffee table. "Do I dare say that you won't know if you don't look at it?"

"Yeah yeah. Enough said, I will talk to Callie. I swear."

"She'll be thrilled!" Teddy exclaimed and Arizona laughed lightly.

"You two are blatantly obvious."

"True," Teddy said, agreeing as she checked the time on her watch. "Now, you're stuck with me for a little longer. What issue are we solving next?"

"You don't have to get going?" The hopeful tone to Arizona's voice was clear, an immediate edge of panic at the prospect of again being left alone in the isolation of Callie's apartment.

Shaking her head, Teddy said simply, "Nope, not yet."

Nodding, Arizona swallowed heavily. "Thanks."

Smiling calmly, Teddy held her index finger up to her lip and deliberately contorted her face into an exaggerated ponder. "Blind dates – for or against?"

"What?"

"Blind dates? Worth a go or do you think I'm more an Internet e-harmony kind of girl…"

* * *

><p>Callie and Teddy had a fleeting conversation at the hospital, just inside the foyer. Essentially Teddy encouraged Callie to go home, to listen and not be too critical of Arizona and where her processing was. She willingly complied, walking the short distance, stopping only to pick up two coffees on her way. At the door to her apartment, she poised the paper cups in one hand, precariously balancing them on top of each other as she fumbled with the keys. Both locks were secured, but the message she had sent Arizona a few minutes before meant that the chain was hanging loose and she could slip inside. Hardly stealth like, Arizona appeared at the familiar clatters, fingers dipped into the pockets of her jeans, elbows loose at her side.<p>

"Hey, you brought coffee," Arizona observed, protruding her non-bruised cheek for a kiss when Callie leaned in.

'Yep, thought you could do with a decent caffeine hit. How are you?" Callie asked, handing over a cup and trailing her fingers along Arizona's jawline. Her eyes were tinged with the smallest red line on the lower lids, and it looked as if she had been crying a little earlier.

Arizona smiled, comforted by Callie's familiar presence and the gentle touch of her fingertips. "Okay. How was work?"

"Boring as all crap."

"I thought it might have been."

"How I end up having do this stuff is beyond me. I hate having to play the political game. Chief was on fire, eventually told us to go away and come back next week with a better attitude."

Arizona narrowed her eyes. "You just need to smile and nod."

"Yeah, not my strong point. I'm too opinionated and they were all being arses. Everyone thinks their specialty is the priority, no one is interested in the big picture. Or Ortho."

"Don't cause too much trouble, can't have you on probation."

"I'll behave, I promise. Really." Callie leaned in again and pressed a kiss to Arizona's lips, taste of bitter coffee evident on both of their tongues as they very slightly touched tips. "I missed you this afternoon, would have much preferred to have been home with you. How was Teddy? She called in?"

"Yep, good. You didn't see her?"

Callie shrugged. "Only quickly. I was just heading out as she was coming back in."

Nodding gradually, Arizona forced a smile though the edge of her eyes barely flickered. She reached for Callie's hand, taking the bag off of her shoulder and placing it on the kitchen bench. Stepping into Callie, she moved in to the comfort of her body, chin and nose pressed into the nape of Callie's neck. "You okay?" Callie asked quietly after a few moments, running her hand over Arizona's ponytail, hair running down the top of her spine. She felt Arizona roll her head and then kiss at the soft skin over her pulse point.

"I'll do it," Arizona whispered, squeezing her eyes shut.

Hands immobilising mid-stroke, Callie gasped, "What?"

Overwhelmed with the desire to grip Arizona to her and to literally sweep her off her feet, Callie forced herself to remember. To recall the fractured ribs that would shudder and move under the pressure and the scars that would gape open and weep from being forced to perform too early. "If you're sure," Arizona said softly, taking half a step back. "And you think it's the best thing for us to do. Then I'll do it, I'll go to the police and see what we can do."

The personal pronouns were used interchangeably and Callie blinked consecutively, clearing her mind, calming her questions. "_We_," Callie emphasised, "can do anything you want. And as much as I don't want to question this decision, on the off chance I change your mind…can I just, can I ask why the sudden change?"

Arizona nodded, staring into Callie's glassy dark eyes, which seemed to get darker as she tired. "I'm worried, about what she might do to you. She knows you, she knows who you are and how important you are to me. And, and she said that she would."

"And I'm hoping Teddy told you that you were being absolutely ridiculous and that you, and only you, are the priority at the moment. Or, something like that, anyway."

Casting her eyes to the ceiling, Arizona pouted. "Not exactly, but that was the general theme. Seriously though, she could really hurt you. I want you to be sure."

"Shouldn't I be saying that to you?"

"Calliope."

"Okay okay," Callie said, nodding. Arizona's eyes were brimming with tears again, her concerns were real and more significant than either Teddy or Callie, were giving credit. "I understand. But of course she threatened, Arizona, she's running out of options. She can bring it on, if she wants to mess with me."

"You don't know what she's capable of. I don't want anything to happen to you."

"Can you," Callie said, starting slowly and pulling Arizona gently back into her embrace, "think for a few seconds about how you're stressing over me, how you're worried about me. Now, just multiply that by about five thousand, and that's where I'm at, having seen what she's done to you. Not just this week, but every since she sent that freakin' card."

"I know," Arizona whispered. "I'm trying."

"So we'll do this."

"We'll do this."

"I'm so proud of you."

Arizona shuddered. "We may not have options, they might say we don't have enough evidence to get it through Court. But I'll try, okay."

"I'm so proud of you," Callie repeated.

"Stop it, don't say that. I haven't done anything." Arizona dropped her head back, tilting her face up to Callie's, feeling Callie's fingers slide into her hair at the base of her skull. "It might not eventuate into anything."

"And maybe that doesn't matter. You just stood up for yourself honey; this is good."

"So, tomorrow we go?"

Callie nodded. "Tomorrow," she agreed and sought Arizona's lips in a deep kiss, mouths widening and tongues exploring. After a moment, Arizona withdrew, face slightly contorted as a wave of pain stabbed around her right side and towards her sternum. "Sorry," Callie apologised sheepishly. "We should drink our coffees and maybe I'll start prepping dinner. I must cook for my awesome, brave girlfriend."

Arizona rolled her eyes, yet a small smile involuntarily tugged at her mouth. The normality comforted her; she had pushed Callie unconsciously, but still, she had pushed and Callie remained, standing in front of her with a distinct mix of tearful elation. She had to move forward, everything she wanted was standing right in front of her. She couldn't continue to hide, especially if it meant losing the promise of tomorrow with Callie. She had never felt more _in_ love.

**TBC...**


	10. Part 9

**AN: A fairly lengthy part – mainly because I'm about to hit a couple of weeks of copious amounts of marking which seriously cuts in to my writing time! End of semester is not an enjoyable time. :-) But we'll see how it goes, hopefully I can still manage an update or two as I'm strangely motivated with this fic at the moment. **

**Thanks for all the feedback and comments, I appreciate all thoughts and opinions. I find it interesting sometimes, the different views that people have. Postmodernism at its best!**

**On with the part…**

**Part 9**

* * *

><p>The wall clock had barely ticked past six when Callie quietly edged back into the bedroom she shared with Arizona. Printed on the dining room table, were the full documents that Arizona would need to complete and file with the Washington State Court. It had taken her multiple hours of reading and rereading, opening PDF files and closing them again, only to find out a few minutes later that she needed the same document. It was tedious and incredibly frustrating, but Callie had no question that it was better for her to do the ground work. She felt as if she was fumbling along with her emotional support for Arizona, reacting and responding to each crisis rather than anything particularly proactive. She wasn't sure she had any other option, but still, she felt inadequate and poorly equipped. But the knowledge side of things; that she could do. She could easily sit in front of the computer and get documents prepared; it was completely in her control. She was doing something.<p>

It felt good to actually do something.

The sun had just started to rise and cast an inconsistent glow across the room, the blockout curtains they used to combat the night shifts had recently started to fade and pill. Now light heavily streamed across the foot of their bed and again, at Arizona's bedside table. Sunrise had done little warm the room though and Arizona visibly shivered in her slumbered state. The covers pooled over her calves where she had clearly kicked them off, leaving her curled on her side facing Callie, hands tucked up under her chin. She had half rolled on to her forearms in an attempt to retain some warmth and her face was pressed heavily into the soft pillow.

Gradually working her way onto the bed, Callie slowly inched down, carefully gripping the edge of the duvet and drawing it over them as she lay down. The mattress was soft and the coils bounced slightly with movement, potentially disturbing whoever was fortunate to be still sleeping. They had trained themselves well though, years of shift work tends to have that effect, with their sleep usually heavy or at least, easily returned to.

Arizona stirred slightly, unfolding a little as the cool sheets conformed to her body and increasingly warmed with their body heat. Lying on her back, arms by her side, Callie dropped her cheek to the pillow and watched silently. Her eyes worked over Arizona's features, thinking and observing. With blond hair twisted and tangled around her face, Arizona clearly didn't sleep peacefully. She presumably seldom did, switching sides and positions throughout the night. Her eyelids flickered constantly, eyes darting beneath the lids, and lashes, long and thick, tapped lightly against the soft skin underneath. Callie doubted her dreams were filled with rainbows and pots of gold.

As she often did, Arizona murmured quietly in her sleep, a string of sounds rather than comprehensible words or phrases. She untucked a fist, drawing in a deep breath as her palm slid across the space between them until her tapping fingertips found Callie's arm. She instinctively snaked them over the inside of Callie's elbow until her hand pressed completely against skin. Exhaling, Arizona mumbled again and snuggled her face deeper into the pillow. Her eyelids opened briefly before heavily closing.

Offering a few quiet soothing sounds, Callie closed her eyes, encouraging Arizona to continue to doze should she wake, however momentarily, again. The sensation of Arizona's affectionate fingers wrapped around her arm was comforting, a physical connection that sparked a localised warmth and tactile association. It was how they tended to sleep, both on their own sides of the wide bed, but seldom without a slight touch. Feet that were hooked together or fingers entwined, and at times, a ball of shirt material held in a loose grip. Occasionally, Callie would wake to find Arizona snuggled close, yet not completely touching, either sharing her pillow or so close that each breath tickled at the hairs of her shoulder. Though Arizona never explained, Callie wondered now whether it were memories that haunted her dreams or just simple, erratic and unpredictable nightmares that sent her edging closer to safety. Or whether some nights, days, cases, were just harder than others, with their familiar bells and nagging truths. It was hard to know.

At some point in her quiet reflective state, Callie must have dozed. She woke to Arizona's fingers losing their contact with her skin and a sea of matted blond hair as Arizona lifted herself off the pillow and towards the side of the bed. Callie reacted quickly, reaching out and wrapping a hand around Arizona's shoulder, tugging her swiftly back into the bed. Yelping softly in surprise, Arizona quickly relaxed and found herself enveloped by Callie, legs draping over hers and an arm over her hip. "It's not time to get up yet," Callie insisted, inhaling Arizona's familiar scent and pressing a kiss to her shoulder blade.

"Really?"

"Yep, really."

"I could make you breakfast in bed, if you like," Arizona offered, blue eyes wide and alert. Once she was awake, she had a rush of adrenalin and was far less likely to laze around in bed for hours than Callie was.

"I just want you for breakfast," Callie responded a little too quickly, feeling Arizona's breath catch. "Wait, that came out a lot more sexual than I intended." She moved her thumb back and forth, softly stroking the curve of Arizona's hip bone, just below the moon shaped indentations she knew were still crusted and quietly healing. "What I meant," she clarified slowly, "is that staying here for a few more minutes is better than any food."

Responding with a hushed giggle, Arizona said, "Is that right? Even better than the coffee you won't function without?"

'Hmmm," Callie contemplated, moulding her body closer to Arizona's back and sliding a hand underneath her pillow. "Coffee is definitely an entirely different thing. It's more of a necessity than a preference. Just like this, this is a necessity. Breakfast, not so much."

"You're babbling."

"Never."

Arizona smiled and reached for Callie's hand that had just found its way out from beneath her neck. Quietly, she traced the contours of her fingers, noting each knuckle as she explored the long, muscular digits. Fingers were seldom described as muscular, but when it came to surgeons, there were few other adequate words. Years of spending long days, precisely holding small and distinct implements had meant their hands resembled those of a rock climber and Callie's especially. Not only did her specialty demand a meticulous accuracy, but also strength; an infallible ability to manoeuvre bone and secure metal plates, screws and whatever else she had constructed from nothing. Her forearms and wrist were equally powerful, and if Arizona held her hand around Callie's arm, she could feel every tendon and muscle move. "Did you sleep?" Callie eventually asked, breaking Arizona's sudden silence and cadenced touch.

Nodding, Arizona glanced over her shoulder. "Yeah, you?"

"Very well," Callie lied, lips pressing to Arizona's shoulder again, distracting herself from the small deceit.

"So, you haven't been up half the night?"

Callie hesitated. "Maybe not half," she quietly answered, unable to hide a smile at just how well Arizona knew her.

"You forget that I know you, Calliope," Arizona said lightly as if reading her mind, awkwardly rolling on to her back and wincing at the effort.

Callie lifted the arm resting on Arizona's hip as she turned, hand lingering over her abdomen as she watched her react to the dull tug of pain that wrapped around her ribcage. "Okay?" she asked, ever so lightly rubbing at Arizona's stomach.

She earned a nod. "Yep. Gets better as the day goes on. So, what were you up doing all night? Or don't I really want to know?"

Callie shrugged. "Just getting stuff sorted for today," she explained. Arizona immediately drew away her eye contact, gaze moving to dart over the ceiling. Callie waited patiently for a moment, repositioning so that she could shadow Arizona's face with her hands. "I didn't want you to have to think too much about the logistics, that's all. I don't mean to take over."

Shaking her head, Arizona sighed. "It's not that, sorry. I just forgot, for a moment."

"A nice moment?"

Arizona offered an ambivalent look. "As brief as it was."

"There'll be plenty more, soon I'm sure. Maybe we can get away for a weekend break too, get out of the city and away from it all."

Dropping her eyes finally, Arizona fleetingly met Callie's intense stare before haphazardly focussing on their surroundings. "I think I'd really like that," she said softly. "Somewhere quiet, a cabin by a relaxing lake or maybe a vineyard. Just you and me."

Callie nodded eagerly, leaning forward to kiss Arizona's cheek. "Consider it done, I'll organise everything. I know how much you love surprises," she teased.

"I hate surprises. Hate, with a passion. But as long as you promise this would be a good surprise, then I suppose I could be convinced."

Grinning, Callie lowered her head and placed a rush of consecutive kisses, just grazing Arizona's jawline with her pursed lips. "Trust me?" she asked.

"I do."

"Good. I can't wait to start planning and organising. I can even do it this afternoon when we get home."

Arizona nodded calmly this time, licking her lips and swallowing as she tilted her head to rest against Callie's thick dark hair. "So, what did you find out? What will happen?"

Taking a moment to think about how she was going to respond, Callie finally questioned her back. "Have you ever looked into it? What do you know?"

Shrugging, Arizona murmured, "I've looked a few times, here and before. I fill out some forms, take any medical reports, that kind of thing and then take them to the Courthouse. Right?"

"Maybe you've looked at it pretty closely, hey?"

"I make informed decisions, measured. I know it doesn't seem like it, but I do. There's risks with this, and they've been risks I haven't been willing to take."

"Until now?"

"I guess. I still have doubts Calliope, I do. But I can do this." Arizona was void momentarily of emotion, each word articulated calmly and clearly.

"We, Arizona. _We._"

She smiled at Callie and closed her eyes. "Yep. And then after we take the forms, there's an interim hearing type thing. They either approve an interim order or not."

"They will."

"They might," Arizona clarified.

Callie's hands tightened around Arizona's shoulders, squeezing her. They both knew the real danger came when Emily was served with the papers and the hearing that would occur in a couple of week's time. "I filled out as much as I could, on the paperwork. You just need to write down what happened this week, particularly and your history with her. And I didn't know stuff about her, date of birth, usual address, all that kind of thing."

Arizona's eyes jerked open and she stared open mouthed for a couple of seconds. "You filled them out?"

"Ah, yeah. That's alright isn't it?"

"Thank you," she whispered, twisting her arm to grab Callie's hand from her shoulder. She gripped it within both of her hands and held it to her mouth. Nodding, she added, "So much."

* * *

><p>It had been almost three hours by the time Callie and Arizona were sitting on a hard wooden bench seats in the midst of a packed courtroom. Although it looked more like an overcrowded office and nothing like the spectacular rooms on court television. Or even the legal dramas that were so big in the nineties. Arizona would have been more than happy to sit in a quiet room with a lawyer speaking on her behalf, but the reality was a junior family law Judge who barely made eye contact with various clients and their requests for temporary orders. Everything from urgent child custody arrangements to supervised contact orders to requests for financial subpoenas. It must be a matter of drawing the short straw or a very crappy rotating roster for which Judge or Commissioner ends up with the role each day.<p>

Eventually though, Arizona was called. _Doctor Arizona Robbins_ mumbled by an assistant who pointed non-empathically to a few chairs at the front of the room. She walked through, heart pounding in her chest with Callie's open hand on the small of her back. Callie didn't once break her subtle touch.

Arizona watched wide-eyed, as he read or skimmed the material they had filed. She could feel her pulse ringing in her ears and her face felt flushed; she was aware she was panicking. Focussing on her breathing, she maintained a presence; square shoulders and chin held up, sweaty palms folded neatly in her lap. "Relationship with the alleged perpetrator?" he asked, not bothering to peer over his glasses as he continued to scan each page.

Swallowing heavily, Arizona cleared her throat. "Ex domestic partners." She breathed a sigh of relief at the conviction in her voice.

"No police reports?"

"No."

"Medical?"

"I have a medical file in Maryland that can be released if required." He jotted some notes and placed a page to his left, scribbling in the corner.

"Current injuries listed, but no treatment report?"

"My current partner and friends are Attendings. I was treated external to the hospital I work at." He looked up finally, glancing to the front of papers and raising his eyebrows. Arizona gritted her teeth, words couldn't describe the frustration she was feeling. Every irrational expectation on herself seemed to emanate through the Judge, a person who should be breaking down stereotypes and not engaging in them. She felt Callie lightly scratch at the back of her neck, silently grounding her.

He nodded, observing the tail end of the bruise on her cheekbone. "You've signed release of all medical and counselling notes?"

"Yes."

"Do you have a current partner?"

Callie gave him an obvious nod. "Yes," Arizona confirmed.

"Doctor Calliope Torres?"

"Yes," Arizona repeated, yet again.

"In receipt of a direct threat?"

"Yes." Callie gave Arizona a quizzical glance, though it went unnoticed. Arizona was focussed solely on the uncommunicative man in front of her.

Looking to his clerk, the Judge shared a nod and picked up a large stamp that he used to press against an inkpad and then multiple pages. "Petition for Order of Protection approved. Temporary Order for Protection, including all modes of contact direct and indirect, approved for fourteen days for Doctor Arizona Robbins and Doctor Calliope Torres, pending full order hearing. Date and time to be advised, on or within two weeks. Please ensure the respondent is served, by private enterprise, police or advocacy service and return of service is filed with the court and local police department. Any questions?"

"No. Thank you." They were quickly ushered forward with a handful of paperwork and directed to the door, hearing the name of the next applicant called before they were even able to exit the room. The entire process seemed superficial and completely flawed; Arizona felt nothing but disempowered, which seemed incredibly contradictory. Still, the approval was in place.

Callie again kept a firm hand wrapped around Arizona's side, shoulders tapping as they walked through the building and waited for an elevator to take them back to the Clerk's office. "Okay?" Callie asked softly, repositioning the handbag hanging over her shoulder. Arizona just nodded, grateful for the folder in her arms that concealed her unsteady hands. "Nice process," Callie added as they leant against the back of an empty elevator, waiting for the doors to close. "Can't imagine why you didn't want to go through this earlier." Arizona offered a half smile in reply and Callie pressed a chaste kiss to her temple. "That's my girl."

* * *

><p>Standing at the passenger side door of Callie's car, Arizona leaned against the car, one hand on the edge of the roof. "Callie…" she trailed off, voice husky and mouth agape. "It's beautiful," she added, taking in the view. There were rows of grape vines as far as they could see, running in perfect symmetry down into a small valley and up the other side, disappearing over the top of the hill. A quick look to the left and right yielded the same result, endless green vines that followed stretches of wire held between short wooden stumps.<p>

"Good wine too," Callie offered, nodding her agreement. "They make this divine pinot, it's better than sex, seriously."

Arizona laughed. "I thought that statement was reserved for chocolate only."

"Hmmm, chocolate and wine," Callie said grinning as she popped the boot and carefully lifted two duffel bags to the pebbled ground.

"Is there only one cabin?" Arizona had finally noticed the small wood structure that waited for them, almost a hundred metres down a narrow gravel path.

Callie worked her way around the car to Arizona, one bag slung over her shoulder and wheeling the other behind her. She fumbled briefly with her oversized tote, holding all the necessities – purse, phone, sunglasses, diary and booking material. "I think there're three, but the spiel on their websites guarantees complete seclusion and privacy. I assume they're completely spread out throughout the property."

"Wow," Arizona grinned and for the first time in weeks, Callie observed the smile to reach her eyes. The corners creasing with fine laugh lines and the blue iris clear and focussed. "Hey, let me take one of those," she added, suddenly aware of Callie lugging their bags.

"Nope, I've got them under control. Just grab your handbag and if you can lock the car, we can get started on our relaxing."

Nodding, Arizona crouched down and gripped her shoulder bag, still unable to completely bend and twist at awkward angles without pain tugging through her sides. "I'm feeling relaxed already," she informed Callie, holding her hands up in the air as she stood looking at the car, doors closed. "Keys?" she asked.

"Ah, my right pocket," Callie murmured, holding an arm out and tilting her hip towards Arizona. Digging in to the jeans pocket, Arizona took the keys and pressed the lock button on the remote. She threw the keys in her bag and followed Callie slowly down the pathway.

Letting themselves in the open door, Callie dropped the bags directly to the floor and puffed lightly. "Now this is what I had in mind," she declared.

Arizona stepped in behind her and walked quickly around the cabin. Just inside the door was an oversized sofa, directly in front of an old style open wood fire, a basket of kindling and logs sitting next to it on the polished wooden floor. "Callie, look," Arizona insisted, gesturing for Callie to follow her to the double doors that led into the bedroom. A king size bed was elegantly adorned with large white pillows and a scattering of decadent chocolate and sweets were on the bedspread and side tables. Floor to ceiling glass doors led out to a patio, a large hot spa and cushioned day beds placed with unlimited views of the vineyard. "We are so getting in that spa tonight," she added, fingers finding Callie's and entwining with a tight squeeze.

"You like?" Callie asked, finding her own tension start to dissipate.

"More than like, this is just perfect. Come on, I want to keep exploring."

Callie chuckled contentedly, and eagerly nodded her agreement. "There should be a kitchen somewhere…"

On the opposite side of the living area, they found a large, open kitchen with endless bench space and every modern appliance. An expresso machine, water filter, microwave, large fridge. A fruit basket was overfilled with a range of ready to eat fruit and various jars of mixed nuts and dried fruit were also on the bench. Opening the fridge, Callie indicated for Arizona to cast her eyes in. "They'll restock each day with fresh juice, wine and different items for meals, there's a bar-b-queue outside so there's heaps of supplies for cooked breakfasts and dinners. We can also phone up if we need anything else and they'll arrange it. Oh, and check out the breadbox over there, it's got fresh bread and pastries. We might get fat over the next week!" It was an extra that Callie had arranged, intent on nourishing Arizona slightly closer to a healthy weight. It was of course, horrifically expensive, but there was nothing they needed more than to be completely isolated from the world and what was happening in Seattle. At some point that day or the next, Emily would be served with the court orders and details of Arizona's application, not to mention the next court date. It was important, for Arizona's anxiety, that they were nowhere near the apartment or hospital, for a little while, at least.

"Mmmm, yum," Arizona agreed, closing the fridge door and pantry and catching the belt loops on Callie's jeans. Holding on to them, she stepped towards Callie whilst lightly tugging before wrapping her arms around her waist. She audibly exhaled, chin coming to rest on Callie's shoulder and warm cheek pressing to Callie's jawline. "Thank you," she said softly. "Thank you so much, Calliope. This is just perfect."

"You're more than welcome," Callie responded, one hand snaking up the back of Arizona's neck, fingers lost in the blond hair that tumbled over her shoulders. She leant back and spontaneously captured Arizona's lips in a long, deep kiss. Their tongues played easily together, sparks elicited as an intensity fell over them that had been absent since long before their break up. Their engage was hungry and somewhat frantic, lower lips being devoured before light moans were swallowed by the others' mouth.

Breathlessly, they broke apart, chests rising and falling heavily against each other. Taking a few moments to catch their breath, foreheads resting against each other, Arizona eventually broke the silence. "I've missed that."

"Me too," Callie agreed, releasing her hands to cup Arizona's face and gently kiss the edge of her mouth and cheek. "You're so beautiful."

Arizona immediately blushed, pink prickling her cheekbones. She screwed her nose up and shook her head. "No," she grumbled.

"You are," Callie insisted. "So beautiful and I am so lucky to have you in my life."

"You're getting all soppy," Arizona whispered, swallowing at the lump swelling in the back of her throat.

"Mmmm, am I not allowed?"

Shrugging, Arizona offered a few non-committal murmurs, virtually trapped with Callie's hands cupping her face and intense gaze connecting them. She was overwhelmed almost, embarrassed by the conviction in Callie's words and body language. "You're allowed," she eventually conceded, voice soft as her hands trailed up Callie's forearms until they could wrap securely around her wrists.

"Good, I'm glad you approve because I am planning on spending this week, telling you and showing you, exactly how much I love you. So you better be okay with that."

Arizona smiled, tears glazing. "I'm super okay with that."

"Good. Now, what's our first plan to kick our relaxing into gear?"

Drawing Callie's hands away from her face, Arizona held them to her sides and leant in again, body melting into Callie's. Thinking for a long minute, Arizona finally squeezed at Callie's hands and said lightly, "I really want to test out those sun lounges, and it's an awesome afternoon."

"Oh yeah, nice call. How would you feel about opening a bottle of wine and having some snacks…late lunch I suppose."

"Yes please!" The wide grin was back, eyes clear at the distinct change in mood from quiet reflection to task focussed.

Callie shook her head and laughed. "Alright, you get settled out there and I'll bring supplies out. "Bubbly or white?"

"Ahhhh, I don't mind at all."

Tempted to insist that Arizona make the decision for them, Callie let the moment pass. She was just thrilled to see a hint of a sparkle in Arizona's eyes and the desire and lust return so suddenly in her kisses. Her shoulders seemed squarer and she walked across the room with an energy that had been absent, the little jump in her step and the way she looked over her shoulder and smiled.

Preparing a platter, Callie quickly arranged a selection of cheeses; an aged cheddar, a triangle of double brie and a square of gouda. She lined up a few small glasses, filling one with mixed nuts and another with olives, spooning spinach and pinenut dip into the third. Arranging a selection of water crackers and some plain thick cut potato crisps, she stared at the platter, contemplating what was missing. Opening the fridge, she scanned the contents, excitedly finding a few slices of prosciutto and and a handful of fetta stuffed peppers.

Finally, removing an ice filled wine cooler from the freezer, she placed a bottle of white wine, a sauvignon blanc blend, into the ice and tipped two wide glasses upside down between her fingers. Precariously balancing the glasses in one hand the platter in the other, she held the cooler under her arm and stepped carefully out of the kitchen and towards the bedroom. Arizona had left the doors wide open and had the lounges positioned with a matching table between them. She looked up when Callie approached, taking the two glasses from Callie's hand as she settled the large plate down. "How good does that look?" she rhetorically asked, stretched out in the warm, mid afternoon sun, blond hair loose over her shoulders.

"And I'm suddenly starving, too," Callie agreed, popping a black olive into her mouth. "Oh, that's balsamic, so good."

Having removed a thigh length grey cardigan, Arizona lay back in light blue denim jeans, loose at the waist and demonstrating clear hip bones and a hallowed abdomen. Her top was a cotton, deep purple cami, the thin straps intertwining with her pink bra, over pale shoulders. She didn't notice that the bruise on her arm was now exposed, though it had faded to a pale green, with just a few speckles of blue and light scratches. And tiny marks over her pelvis peaked out from between the hem of her shirt and gaping heavy denim waist.

Knowing that Arizona had consciously kept the healing injuries mostly hidden, Callie was strangely comforted by her present ease. They had been at the cabin for less than an hour and already Arizona seemed a world away from the woman who she had walked out of the courthouse with just three days before. She had even had violent nightmares that evening, waking up with a jerk and arms flailing into the pitch blackness of their bedroom. Callie doubted she would ever forget the immobilisation of Arizona that night, the way Callie had laid her back down in bed and held her tightly, whispering constantly about nothing in an attempt to remove the rigidity in her body. And the blinking eyes that stared at her, as if trying to comprehend who she was and why they were in the same bed. She hadn't cried, in fact, she had barely moved.

Callie physically pushed away the memory, tucking hair behind her ears and pinching the bridge of her nose. She removed the screw cap on the wine bottle and quickly poured two glasses to the rim, observing Arizona taste testing the cheeses out of her peripheral vision. "Which is best?" Callie asked, placing Arizona's wine next to her and reaching briefly to affectionately run her fingertips down her bicep.

"Tough to choose," Arizona slowly answered, licking her lips. "I find it hard to go past brie though, I have a very big weak spot for soft cheeses."

"There's plenty more, so eat away," Callie assured, taking her own jacket off and kicking her shoes to the ground. She took a long sip of wine before returning it to the table, filling a curved chip with dip and dropping it into her mouth. Tipping her face to the sky, she sighed loudly, rolling her shoulders and squirming to get the cushion at her lower back into the right position.

Arizona dropped her head to the side and observed silently, drinking leisurely from her own glass. "You happy to be here too, Calliope?" she asked after a moment, concerned at Callie's burrowed forehead.

Callie released a wide grin and nodded enthusiastically. "I am. I'm just, stopping, you know. I feel like I can stop now."

"You must be tired," Arizona stated; now that she felt safe and peaceful, it was like she could rely on her natural senses again, her instincts. Everything that made her who she was, who she wanted to be.

"Not that much, a little. No more than usual."

Arizona smirked and rolled her eyes. "Yeah, cause you haven't been up most nights."

"How is that different to usual? How often are we called in work?"

"I guess. You look exhausted, that's all."

"So some long sleep ins then, yeah?" Callie asked. "Late brunches, easy walks through the vineyard, afternoon naps. Should reenergise us."

"Sounds good," Arizona said softly, easily reaching for various food options and eating consistently, savouring the taste briefly before taking the next item. They stared vacantly at the view, minutes passing and their glasses gradually emptying, talking sporadically about easy topics – the type of grape closest to them and when they would visit the cellar door they observed at the entrance off the side road. Eventually, Arizona curled on to her side, shadowing her ribs with an open palm. She looked at Callie for a moment, opening her mouth to speak before closing it again. Callie raised her eyebrows in question. "I was just going to ask, but I know there isn't an answer really."

"Ask?"

"I just; do you think she knows yet?" Callie looked momentarily confused, not making the jump quick enough from wine tastings. "The order, do you think she's been served yet?"

"I'm not sure," Callie answered honestly, leaning back to place the back of her lounger in a more upright position. "I suppose so."

Arizona nodded calmly. "You told Mark or Teddy to phone if there's any…problems…"

"Yeah, they will. They'll let me know."

"Okay." The smile was back, slight but genuine.

"Come lie with me?" Callie asked, dropping her legs to the side and patting the vacated space.

Arizona grinned but shook her head. "I'm fine, I was just thinking, that's all."

"Please?" Callie pleaded, dropping her bottom lip in an exaggerated dejected expression. "This would be the _showing_ part of my plan."

"Oh really?"

"Yep, you think you can put up with me?"

"Callie…"

Again, she dropped her lip until a smile broke on Arizona's face. She emulated the grin. "Come on, I need my Arizona cuddles."

Slowly moving, Arizona stood up and took the few steps to Callie's chair, sitting down and scooting backwards sol she rested comfortably between Callie's legs and her upper body guided until she conformed to Callie's torso. "You're cute today, all affectionate."

"And that's a bad thing?" Callie whispered into her ear.

"No, not a bad thing at all. I like it." Taking Callie's hands that were gently stroking her arms, Arizona hugged them to her chest. "A lot."

Pressing kisses to Arizona's scalp, Callie closed her eyes, fatigue settling over her. A combination of the tiredness and wine diminishing the heightened adrenalin she had been running on. A few minutes later, she felt Arizona change position slightly, easing more on to her side, which lifted the pressure on her ribs. Callie relaxed her grip and trailed her fingers loosely over Arizona's shoulders and back. "Comfortable?" she murmured, eyes flickering.

"Sleepy," Arizona husked.

"Nap sweetie," Callie encouraged, aware that she too was only vaguely conscious. Arizona murmured into her chest and the last sensation Callie felt, were Arizona's soft lips and the tip of her tongue pressing a lingering kiss to the curve of her breast before they both slipped into the warm haze of nurturing sleep.

Safe; secure and blissfully detached from home.

* * *

><p>A line of empty shot glasses were scattered on the bar, directly in front of where she sat on a sticky stool. Bar brawls erupted around her and pool cues slammed on tables, security fought to drag intoxicated and violent men onto the street.<p>

She tipped a whiskey glass to her lips, dipping her chin as she uncoordinatedly tried to seek the familiar burn of her throat. Strewn around where she sat, dispersed between the wet bench and repellent floor, were tiny strips of paper. A single word, half phrases and destroyed names were in a hundred pieces, maybe more.

Legal confetti; a kaleidoscope of broken reveries.

Another glass, liquid bounces over the bar. Droplets fall to her skirt; her mouth drips excess and her eyes glaze. Existence blurred; erased between the abolished documents and annihilated efforts at inebriation.

_Fuck 'em._

* * *

><p><strong>TBC…<strong>


	11. Part 10

**AN: **_I'm really sorry for the delay between updates. Life gets in the way sometimes, which is very rude! :-) Anyway, a long part to make up for my slackness; though this part contains a warning for some sexual content._

_Thanks for sticking with this story despite the long wait. I appreciate it!_

_Cheers._

* * *

><p><strong>Part 10<strong>

The thing with relaxing is that it's horrifically boring to people who are rehearsed in fourteen hour working days, snippets of sleep and adrenalin fuelled surgeries. When days are filled with patients, who teeter precariously between the chasm of life and death, the notion of doing _nothing_, is barely short of mundane. Still, Callie and Arizona did well to last three days before the distinct twitchiness set in with half read novels set aside and tabloid magazines discarded. Meeting each others eyes from where they sat outside, they shared a knowing chuckle. "I know," Callie said, groaning dramatically. "I'm as bored as all crap too."

"It's not that I'm bored," Arizona said tactfully, "I'm just needing some kind of change in stimuli."

Callie laughed. "How very academic of you. How do people do this all the time? Not work and just…laze around?"

"I suppose it's something that you adjust to, almost like acclimatising."

"Remind me never to retire."

"Never?"

"Well, never until we decide to pack up and travel around the world indefinitely."

"Not sure what our kids will think of that!"

Smiling, Callie widened her eyes that sparkled at the mere mention of children. "Kids, hey? Hopefully they'll be through college and living their own lives by then."

Arizona shrugged, though she smiled genuinely. The word had really just slipped out of her mouth, a Freudian slip of sorts. She had been thinking, just over the past few days about her level of commitment to Callie, the promise she made, post trauma in the chaos on the outskirts of the hospital grounds. The idea of holding an infant, an odorous, wrinkled and fluid smeared newborn, actually filled her with hope; anticipation for a future that she hadn't quite dared to imagine. The anxiety was still there, simmering below the surface, but it wasn't as overwhelming as it once had been. Those days and weeks when Callie had her back to the wall, ultimatum blanketing her fears – when the only way seemed _out._ "I promised," Arizona offered softly, eyes drifting out to the vineyard.

"Yeah," Callie agreed, nodding. "You haven't changed your mind?"

"No," she responded clearly. "Now doesn't quite seem like the best time, but one day soon, when everything is settled."

Callie laughed again and nodded eagerly. "Just say the word and my feet will be in those stirrups."

A snort inadvertently escaped Arizona's nose and she clapped a palm over her mouth. "Nice, Calliope!"

"What? It's true." Callie shrugged, a wide smile spread across her face and the corner of her eyes creased. The laugh lines that were so characteristic of her persona, the one she preferred to show the world anyway. "Alright, what do you want to do? We could drive back into town and do some shopping or have lunch at a café. Or, we could actually take one of those walks we've talked about, follow the path and see if we can find that lake?"

"And try out our non-existent boating skills? Didn't I read they have a couple of row boats?"

"Yep, can't quite remember the last time I stepped foot in a boat of any description but I'm sure it'll be entertaining if nothing else. So, is that a vote for a walk?"

Arizona nodded and leant forward, scooping hair off her neck and messily tying it back with an elastic from around her wrist. "Yep, as much as I need a bit of action, not having to actually talk to anyone or interact is pretty good."

Rolling her eyes, Callie stood and held a hand out for Arizona to grip, hoisting her slowly to her feet. They quickly changed into loose jeans and summery tops, thin cardigans tied around their waists. Callie tossed a few items into a small backpack, drinks and various snack items – dried fruit and nuts, some decadent chocolate chip cookies and a couple of yogurt dripped muesli slices. By the time she emerged from the kitchen, Arizona stood just outside, hands by her side and face tilted to the sky with eyes closed behind dark sunglasses. "Suppose we should take that map, hey?" Callie murmured, stepping out the door before swiftly disappearing back inside and returning a few moments later. "I trust my sense of direction," she said, amusingly, "but yours, not so much."

Laughing, Arizona forced a brief look of disgust across her expression. "Not true, I can read a compass."

"Handy," Callie acknowledged, "if we had one."

"Surely there's one on our phones, or you know, the GPS might be more useful than a compass granted, but options are good."

Callie giggled childishly. "We really do talk some crap sometimes."

"Something tells me we can just follow the paths and we'll end up somewhere."

Falling into stride, they weaved down towards the rows of vines until they reached a wider space that led them through the vineyard, each plant yielding large bunches of green grapes just starting to ripen. Callie fiddled slightly with the straps on her backpack, pulling it tight against her spine and repositioning her shirt to fall over the waistband of her jeans. Arizona's fingertips lightly brushed at Callie's hip, smoothing the material as they walked. "I like that top, remind me to borrow it sometime."

"Really? I can't even remember when or where I got this."

"You wore it once at the hospital, after your shift. I watched you walk from the lounge and to the elevator, just thinking how amazing you looked." Looking back in front of her, Arizona's voice dropped. "It was when we were…having issues, the day after we randomly kissed."

"Now that, I remember," Callie nodded, slipping her hand into Arizona's and entwining their fingers. "It was so hard, I just wanted to follow you or pull her back. I just stood there staring at you, walking away. It was awful."

"I felt bad, I just saw you and it was all a rush of weirdness and emotion. I think I cried for hours that night, I vaguely recall Teddy sleeping on my sofa. I think she came over to my apartment after I lost it on the phone to her."

"Mmmm," Callie slowly hummed, tugging Arizona's hand to her lips and kissing her fingers. "Cristina threw a box of tissues at me one night, when I wouldn't or couldn't move off the couch."

Arizona laughed inadvertently, sheepishly glancing at Callie. "That's a little harsh, that girl needs to work on her people skills. A great surgeon yes, and a good friend to Meredith I hear but really, a bit more consistency with patients, families and colleagues could go a long way."

"She's alright, just a little intense. She could probably do with learning the art of polite conversation but I've also seen her really stand up when she's had to. Like us all I guess."

Nodding, Arizona allowed silence to fall between them, maintaining a grip on Callie's hand. The uneven ground meant that a tug of pain would randomly curve around her side, depending on the fall of her gait and roll of her hip. Fortunately, it was more of a discomfort now and an inconvenience to the somewhat amorous sex she would like to be having with Callie. But still, frustrating and a constant reminder of the reason they were hiding away in the middle of nowhere.

"Okay?" Callie asked softly after feeling Arizona's hold on her hand tighten and relax a couple of times as they continued to make their way to a path leading into some bushland.

Arizona tilted her head and exhaled heavily. "Yeah, I'm good."

"Ribs hurting?" she asked concernedly.

"Not really. Just a little, nothing bad, I promise."

"You happy to keep going?"

"Absolutely. It's just the ground being a bit rough, that's all."

Callie shrugged. "You know I would be complaining constantly if it were me, don't you? My pain threshold is freakishly low."

"Oh I don't know, you're pretty stubborn Calliope," Arizona said, maintaining a light tone and slight coy smile. There was such a sense of shame that Arizona felt; and for so long she had been forced to keep secrets and create a believable façade that she had reverted quickly. The responsibility that she felt and the blame she placed on herself were difficult to challenge and the idea of complaining, seemed selfish and egotistical.

The injuries had brought back many of the same emotions she had experienced during the time she had been in a relationship with Emily. There were hardly words to describe how complex the shame was, the self-deprecating thoughts that accompanied the idea that she could once have loved someone so violent and unpredictable, and how inadequate she felt at her failure to protect herself. It's such a basic human drive, and she was so poorly equipped.

"With some things," Callie agreed. "Yet, not everything and for an orthopaedic surgeon, I've really had very few injuries. Never even broken a bone in fact, barely had a sprain."

"Wish I could say the same," Arizona responded softly, wincing as her foot caught a thin vine that had fallen loose of the trellis. She stumbled, catching herself easily but receiving the familiar painful pull at her side.

Callie grimaced in sympathy, reaching her free hand across her body to lightly rub at Arizona's forearm. "Ouch," she acknowledged, when Arizona failed to comment. Earning just the slightest glance of agreement from Arizona, Callie led her slowly towards a carved wooden map. Two large boulders signalled the entrance to the walk and a distinct path was clearly evident. "So, if we stay left the entire way, we'll hit the lake – is that what you get from this?"

"Yeah," Arizona said, trailing her index finger against the indentations in the wood. "It's the quickest way and looks like two miles to me. If we stay to the right, it's five but goes to the other side of the lake."

"Two miles sounds good to me," Callie murmured, releasing Arizona's hand to swing her backpack off her shoulder.

"Me too," Arizona confirmed, accepting a bottle of water when Callie offered it. She drew in a few mouthfuls and handed it back, waiting patiently while Callie did the same and returned the bag to her back. 'Ready?"

"You sure you're up to it?" Callie asked, quickly reading Arizona's frustrated expression. "Okay, I know. I'm being all smothering."

Arizona raised a hand and pushed lightly at Callie's chest, amused rather than particularly annoyed. "I _kind_ of like it when you smother. Sort of."

"Now didn't that seem genuine," Callie said, sniggering. "You know," she said gently as they slowly started to make their way into the coolness of dense foliage, "can I ask if you're feeling any more relaxed or still pretty stressed out…" she trailed off, not entirely sure what it was she was trying to ask; articulation failing her as she attempted to be casual and non-threatening.

Not rushing to answer, Arizona briefly tilted her chin skywards, catching glimpses of blue through the wide spread of thick branches and immense greenery. "There was this time, once, when I was a child and I can't quite remember my age. Maybe around nine or ten, and my father, he was home from work because of an injury. He hurt his back during some yearly proficiency drill. He was home and miserable, just an absolute nightmare to be around. Tim and I would try and stay back at school, add in extra curricular activities, just so that we could come home and inhale some dinner and then disappear into our bedrooms. But there was this one weekend and the Colonel was pissed, he wanted to be at work. He needed to be at work. He got Tim and I out the back of our house and mapped out a ring with some rope and then made us fight…box I suppose, under the premise that he should have taught us how to really fight by then. Because prepubescent kids, who were both fairly quiet and inoffensive, really needed to be drilled on how to throw right hooks and effective abdominal blows. So, we stand in the middle of this makeshift boxing ring and we both manage a few reluctant and I think even apologetic, soft punches. Then he cracks it, starts screaming at us that we will never be anyone or anything if we can't defend ourselves or protect each other. And he makes us have this full on fight, no protective gear, just bare knuckles and t-shirts and shorts. Tim and I, we iced each others bruises, patched up a few scrapes and swollen fingers afterwards. We cried, talked about how much we hated it, how fighting and power just screws people up and we'll never be involved. Never be a part of the school yard brawls or wrestling teams, football, that kind of stuff. It's ironic you know. Tim ended up on the trigger end of rifles and dead, fighting a war that I'm not sure I even understand. And I ended up at the other extreme, powerless. I almost told him, one day, early on; but I stopped because I thought he might really hurt her. Probably would have."

Callie exhaled a breath that she had been holding and she was forced to draw in a few quick inhalations to try and even out her panting. "That's…I don't know what that is. That's full on; I like to think that there're other ways to teach kids how to protect themselves or be assertive even."

"I think it made sense to him, probably still would; parents do the best they can with the world they live in. That was how he was raised, it seemed right."

"Yeah, and I excuse my parents every day with that same logic. But it's not really good enough is it?"

"It is what it is."

"How come you told me that story, Arizona?" Callie asked gently, reluctant to scare away the fluid way Arizona had spoken, the words rolling unfiltered from her mouth.

She smiled slightly, fiddling with the cap she was wearing and sliding some loose strands of blond hair under the brim. "I was thinking about that earlier, I wouldn't have thought about it for ages, years maybe. Tim and I both went back to school on the Monday with bruises on our faces and cuts on our hands. I think I had two fingers strapped together and Tim had this massively swollen knee where I had kicked it out from underneath him. People asked questions and we laughed, smoothed over the injuries like they looked worse than they were. We had this story prepared, where we had fought over a bike or something random. We presented this disguise to the world – I think that's where it started. It doesn't matter what's happening, you just pretend. In the same way Tim whispered to me one night just before his last deployment that he was scared; he didn't want to go back. But he made me promise that I would never tell anyone, ever. And I haven't…until now I guess."

"Protecting his legacy…protecting everyone else from the truth of what he was feeling."

"It's always been more important that other people feel good, if that makes sense. We did it, as kids – we beat each other up because it made my father smile, cheer. He even talked about for months and it came up randomly years later even. How proud he was of his two _brave soldiers_, who could fight better and withstand pain more, than many of his men. Warped, but again, it is what it is."

Callie nodded slowly, her elbow lightly grazing Arizona's arm as they walked side by side. "And I guess you got a bit more practise…with Emily." In her mind, Callie had depersonalised her and a range of inappropriate terms raced around at will. But lacking a filter in her language was hardly going to be beneficial for Arizona.

Scoffing in response, Arizona nodded. "Just a little," she answered sarcastically before hastily continuing. "Sorry. Just a bit of an understatement really, I became very adept at disguising injuries and bruises."

"Surely some people noticed though; did you ever get asked?"

"Yeah," Arizona responded slowly. "Sometimes, but people never keep asking I suppose or they think it's none of their business. I wasn't close to anyone particularly. A few times I had nurses or Attendings ask how I hurt my arm or got a specific bruise on my face. I always had something ready, an excuse. It's amazing what people believe when you're laughing and being all cheerful." She hesitated momentarily before continuing. "Though maybe they didn't really, I don't know. I probably wouldn't but that doesn't mean I would push hard either; people will ask for help or make changes when they're ready."

"You don't think anything would have helped you to leave earlier?" Callie, despite having an obvious concern and need to protect her partner, also had a genuine interest and keenness to understand what it had been like for Arizona. And she had been reluctant to ask too many questions, knowing that Arizona would likely shut down or bury herself in some distraction strategy. As well as treading a fine line between wanting to understand and wanting to know.

Shrugging, Arizona pondered the question respectfully. "I actually don't think so. Maybe if I met someone who I connected with, developed a really close relationship or even some sort of rapport. Then perhaps. It wasn't like I needed information or financial options, it was the emotional side of things that kept me there. That kind of control and manipulation doesn't just break easily."

"And if you're so focussed on hiding what's really happening, it makes sense that you don't make close friends."

"Exactly, and there were some really nice people that I worked with who in a different time and place, I would have loved to get to know. Even outside of work. I remember going to work one day, and it was after I had been working there for a while, and I had these clear marks on my neck. There wasn't a person that didn't comment on the fact I was wearing a turtleneck sweater under my scrubs in the middle of summer, I just laughed it off as one of my many eccentricities. But one of the scrub nurses, who I worked with heaps, told me this long story about a patient coming into the ER in her early working days and how she eventually died from injuries caused by an assault from her partner. This nurse stared at me, and told me that it was the trigger for her to leave her husband, that after trying to operate on this woman and not being able to save her life made her realise that she didn't want to leave her children without a mother. I remember feeling guilty, that I was clearly transparent. And then I had the rest of the week off work and avoided her from then on. Her name was Laura, I would have liked to have known her better I think."

Callie took a moment to absorb, to process the amount that Arizona was disclosing and the small detail that was so often left absent. There was a sudden rush of birds fleeing from the high branches of trees above them, a kaleidoscope of colour and flapping wings dancing above them. They both watched, slowing their stride to glance upwards and staring for the twenty seconds it took for the surroundings to still again. Callie shook her head, shaking away the distraction though Arizona lips had curled into a distinct smile. "Something scared them away," Callie observed quietly.

"Probably just something on the ground. Once one moves, they all do."

"Weird," Callie confirmed, following Arizona when she started to return to their previous easy pace. "So, she tried to strangle you once," she validated softly, voice barely audible above the cracking of twigs under their feet.

Arizona nodded. "Yeah, a few times though I never lost consciousness or anything like that. I don't think anyway." She could hardly comprehend her own lack of anxiety, as they continued to stick to the path and head towards the lake clearing. Where usually her chest would constrict and the words she wanted to share with Callie would catch in her throat, in that moment, she felt relaxed and open. Like there wasn't a question she couldn't answer. Pushing away the reflection quickly, Arizona slipped her hand to the inside of Callie's elbow, sliding her fingers down her forearm until she could curl them around her wrist. She worried that if she pondered her lack of inhibition too much, then the apprehension would come rushing back.

"Were they the worse? Injuries that is, or assaults?"

"Ummm, in some ways," Arizona answered, thumb caressing the tight tendons at the base of Callie's palm. "Like I said to you, I think the last one was the worst, before I left. The idea that my life was actually in danger was my trigger. Each other time, it's strange, but I never actually felt that she might go too far." Callie scowled. "Well," Arizona continued, noticing Callie's disgusted expression, "anything was too far but in terms of actually threatening my life; that was new. And sometimes the other stuff was worse, the things she said, the way she made me feel. That was what often upset me more."

"How she made you feel?" Callie prompted, though her stomach almost somersaulted at the possibility.

Arizona exhaled and repositioned her hand to interlace with Callie's. "It was a long time ago," she murmured, "and I haven't felt that way since and you definitely don't make me feel like that."

"Like you're not good enough?"

"Yep, you…you just somehow make me feel like I'm an equal…like I'm this important part of your life."

"Hmmm, except those moments where I yelled at you."

Arizona chuckled light-heartedly. "Even then, surprisingly enough."

Callie reacted with an incredulous, wide eyed look. "You're insane."

Shaking her head, Arizona squeezed Callie's fingers. "Nope, got the therapy file to prove it too." She earned a laugh in response and a comfortable stillness fell between them, a match for the calm surrounds that they walked through. It was only another few minutes and they appeared at a clearing that suddenly exposed an impressive expanse of water. Arizona's eyes literally lit up at the image, scanning the various picnic tables, hammocks and old wooden rowboats along a grassy embankment, shadowed by grainy sand. "This is beautiful," she murmured, tugging at Callie's arm. "I want to laze in that boat in the middle of the lake for a while, but you might need to actually row."

Laughing, Callie nodded her agreement. "If that's the smile I get, then it's a small price to pay."

"Wonder what I get for this then?" Arizona playfully asked, tipping her chin up and pressing a lingering kiss to Callie's lips. Grinning with the action, Arizona slipped her tongue to tap against Callie's teeth, giggling childishly.

"Come on then," Callie eagerly insisted, pulling back from Arizona's embrace. "There can be more of that when we're bobbing around out there. That's if we don't capsize."

"Oooo, is this not a scene out of some rom com?" Arizona questioned, taking the backpack Callie offered as she started to drag the boat a few metres towards the water.

"I don't know, you're the romantic comedy queen. How does it end?"

"I think we can make up our own ending," Arizona answered, grinning, eyes traversing the length of Callie.

"As long as I don't end up in this water…" Callie trailed off, grunting as she halted the wooden craft at the edge, oars swinging dangerously to the side. Arizona simply shrugged, slipping off her shoes and placing the items in the bow.

A few minutes later and they were slowly easing away from the shore, Arizona's easy mood continuing with a string of observations and comments.

* * *

><p>"Where is she?"<p>

"Excuse me?" Teddy asked, spinning around at the sound of a voice behind her. She had just finished a lengthy shift and was escaping with Mark for a drink at Joe's before a few of their colleagues joined them.

"I asked you, where she is." The words were clearly slurred under the deep, harsh tone and despite the limited previous interaction, Teddy and Mark could both clearly identify the woman as Emily. A clearly unkempt Emily, who appeared dishevelled and unclean. She had barely tied her knotted hair back and the fitted shirt she wore over stained jeans was buttoned incorrectly. She was clearly unravelling.

"You're not welcome here," Mark stated strongly, crossing his arms over his chest and squaring his shoulders.

"She thinks she can just _piss_ off after what she's done." She stumbled then, short heels unsettling her footing on the grassy alcove.

"How about you get out of here and sober up before you end up a patient," Teddy muttered angrily, revolted by the image in front of her. Emily gritted her teeth and with nostrils flaring, muttered a string of barely comprehensible expletives. "And stay away from her, you hear me. She's not here to protect you right now, so if I were you, I would walk away before you do something you might really regret."

"It's all crap, everything she's saying. You're fools to believe her; Arizona is screwed up. You think you can help her? Fix her? Yeah, so did I and look where it got me. With a _fucking_ court date."

"Enough," Mark bellowed and Emily instinctually stepped back. "Do not go near her, do not touch her. Do not contact her, phone her. Do you understand what I am saying, you imbecile?"

Hesitating only fleetingly, Emily released an awkward laugh. "Shouldn't you want to give Arizona back to me? Wouldn't that leave your little casual relationship with _Callie_ back on again? Your reputation precedes you Dr Sloan."

With his neck flushing crimson with anger, Mark stepped back and shook his head. "You're mad," he stated incredulously. "Stay away from us all or court will be the least of your concerns."

"Tell me where she is." Childlike, she stamped her feet and curled her hands into tight fists. "I've been to her apartment; I've been on the ward. Where is she?"

Turning away, Mark gripped Teddy's bicep before she could open her mouth and harshly comment. "Ignore her," he instructed with a low hushed whisper.

"She's acting like an escalating psych patient, Mark," Teddy responded, hearing the echoes of _where is she_, being repetitively yelled as they walked away.

Mark nodded. "I know."

"We should check Arizona's apartment."

"Yep, already planning to."

"Should we call Callie?"

"Let's just wait and see what we find first. Let them have a few days of peace, she obviously doesn't know where they are."

"Okay."

"Okay."

* * *

><p>"Ow, Arizona. There's something poking in to my back," Callie dramatically whined, pulling her shoulders off the floor of the row boat and blindly fishing around beneath a pile of picnic rugs to locate the offending object. "See, a buckle off a bloody life vest."<p>

"Relax Calliope," Arizona soothed almost sleepily, eyes closed as she absorbed the direct sunlight.

Callie sighed heavily and tried again to lie down, Arizona's fingertips quickly finding her arm to gently caress. "You're going to burn, you know," she added, although she had to admit without any object pressing into her spine, the gentle motion of the water was incredibly relaxing.

"Sunblock. I'm covered in sunblock."

"Good," Callie responded, drawing in a few deep breaths and squirming closer to Arizona. They had spent the last thirty minutes floating aimlessly around and having a drink and some food. Arizona had set a fishing rod out into the water, having cast and wound it in a few times with not a bite to be felt. Just another of her many talents, not to mention a tribute to growing up with a brother and his friends.

"Relax," Arizona instructed again. "You're all tense."

"Well, you did imply there would be some alternative relaxation strategies occurring at this point," Callie teased, rolling her head to the side and pressing her nose into Arizona's messy hair.

Arizona laughed. "And if you would stop complaining for three seconds, I might get a chance!"

"One. Two…" Still chuckling, Arizona quickly turned her face to devour Callie's lips, not hesitating to indulge in a long, deep kiss. "Three," Callie murmured breathlessly when Arizona inched away, mouth open as she drew in her own hasty mouthfuls of air.

"Is that what you had in mind?"

"Mmmm," Callie confirmed, fingertips tracing Arizona's jaw line and coming to rest on the side of her neck. "Definitely relaxing."

"Good," Arizona husked, trailing her knuckles across Callie's stomach until her fingers could teasingly slip under the waist band of her jeans. "I vaguely remember you having a thing about the outdoors."

Callie's stomach tensed as she laughed. "I seem to recall you not having a thing for the outdoors."

"Camping…I don't have a thing for camping. This however, I find very…thing like." Arizona continued her ministrations, pads of her fingers lightly tracing the slight swell of Callie's abdomen and dipping down to her pubic bone.

"Arizona," Callie whispered, feeling Arizona's warm tongue start to nonchalantly explore the sensitive skin behind her earlobe. "Your ribs, we shouldn't…"

"I'm fine Calliope, just don't," she murmured, "throw me against any hard wood."

"Of all the things I thought would ever come out of your mouth," Callie counteracted, pulling away from Arizona to turn and seize her lips. "That is definitely not one of them." Arizona grinned cheekily, snaking her hand underneath Callie's shirt to fill her palm with the swell of Callie's breast. "We have this amazing king size bed you know, a half a dozen pillows, feather duvet…"

"Maybe this is just foreplay, round one."

"Arizona," Callie weakly protested.

"Calllie, I'm getting desperate here; don't make me start having to take long showers and get RSI in my right hand." A slight hint of frustration entered Arizona's voice, pitch faintly catching. She stilled her hand and rested it open against Callie's sternum.

"Are you sure?"

"I'm sure," Arizona confirmed with a whisper, softening her tone.

"Good," Callie drawled back, reaching to cover Arizona's hand and move it back to her bra-covered breast. Arizona's fingers immediately pushed the material aside and rubbed urgently at her nipple, working it into a symbol of obvious arousal. She moaned after a few minutes, using her own hand to tenderly stroke Arizona's thigh through her jeans, painstakingly slow in working up from the inside of her knee. "Don't forget to invite me to watch next time, for one of those long showers. That thought is very hmmm…hot."

Responding with a groan and an involuntary twitch of her hips, Arizona repositioned herself to rest her ear to Callie's shoulder, freeing her hand to move back to Callie's jeans, this time working the button loose. "The feeling's mutual," she answered, cheeks flushing red at the images flashing through her mind where Callie's fingers disappeared into her folds and she moaned loudly, mouth ajar and head falling backwards. "But right now, I just want to make sure you and I come quickly. Slow and sensual is for later."

"I do like this plan," Callie gasped, whimpering as Arizona's middle finger dipped beneath her underwear and into her centre, gathering thick arousal to spread over her swelling clitoris. Focussing on the nerve filled nub, Arizona intermittently ran her finger in tight, slow circles and quicker, light flicks of the smooth edge of her nail. Each change elicited varying degrees of heightening groans.

Arizona emulated the vocal urging, grateful when Callie hastily sought access to her gathering wetness. "Fuck," Arizona gasped, feeling an immediate surge of stimulation, extremities tingling.

"Is this okay?" Callie asked, though her words were rushed and breathless as Arizona was unrelenting in her perceptive touch, knowing exactly when and how to prolong Callie''s threatening climax.

Arizona whimpered, the sound of her fingers amongst Callie's heavy fluid just detectible, each stroke eliciting incomprehensible syllables from depths of Callie's throat. "You'll make me come," Arizona murmured, panting.

"Oh God, keep saying that. Me too." Callie had her free hand shadowing Arizona's, where it disappeared beneath her open pants and black lace panties. Ready to still her hand to starve off her peak to the last possible moment.

"I've missed this, your fingers," Arizona said quietly, distractedly pausing her attention on Callie as she lost herself in her own approaching orgasm. "Making me come."

Callie dropped her hand on top of Arizona's, encouraging her to resume her focus. "I'm so close," she gasped after a minute, and loudly swore as Arizona's hips tugged in response.

"Don't stop, Calliope. Keep going."

"Arizona," she warned and Arizona's fingers gripped at the skin of her arm, a familiar cry emitted from deep in her throat.

They simultaneously tumbled over the edge in a rush of incomprehensible words and mottled moans that echoed faintly against the sides of the slightly rocking boat. Their hands entangled with each other, lost beneath half removed clothing and trembling bodies.

And above, the cloudless sky filled with a rush of returning birds; wings flailing loudly and squawks in disharmonious of their rainbow splendour.

If only humans held the same innate awareness of impending danger and the instinctive flight response. They even knew when to return; when the risk had passed and safety again, settled their world.

* * *

><p><em>TBC…<em>


	12. Part 11

**AN: **Thank you so much for your continued reviews, messages and alerts – I enjoy reading them and am thrilled you're still enjoying this slowly progressing fic! :-) I do still hope that you're not getting bored!

On with the next part.

* * *

><p><strong>Part 11<strong>

"Oh my God…" Arizona dropped her tan coloured handbag to the floor, eyes wide as they darted around the corners of the room. She was only a few steps inside the front door and belongings were scattered around her feet – paperwork from the kitchen bench, dish drying rack, cordless phone, clothing and shoes. Furniture, although not overturned, were completely out of place and askew, cushions in various directions.

"Yeah," Mark said, nodding his agreement. "The police had a look through but recommended we leave it as is before you could see if anything is missing. Callie's isn't much better."

"I'm going to find her and quite genuinely kill her." Callie stood, hands on her hips and shaking her head, teeth clenched. Arizona stole a glance at her before stepping forward and over a box of shoes that had been overturned, a package for goodwill that she hadn't quite got around to carrying to her car.

Mark stepped forward and caught Arizona's elbow. "There's glass, just be a bit careful. Teddy swept it in to a pile in the kitchen and the same in your bathroom." She nodded in response, almost as if in a daze, blinking quickly. "Do you think there's anything she would have looked for, taken?" he asked. "We had no idea."

Arizona shrugged. "I don't know, maybe. I can't really think, there's nothing here of hers really."

"She's crazy, what does she think you would still have some freakin' homage to her?" Callie spat at, voice venomous. "These are our homes, how dare she?"

"At least no one was hurt," Mark interrupted Callie's momentum gathering tirade. "That's good, isn't it?" he prompted and she gave him a disgusted glance in response. "Easy hey," Mark added, watching Arizona slip out of his easy hold and pad carefully towards her bedroom.

Callie turned toward him and continued to angrily shake her head. Perhaps her tolerance and patience had been exhausted, and the very thought of having to deal with their destructed properties in a rational manner was nauseating. "Fuck her," she cursed, fists clenched. "She's going to fucking rot in hell by the time I'm finished with her sorry arse. Don't stand there and expect me to not give a toss about this."

"Not what I'm asking, at all. Let's get that straight, if I had my choice this little bitch would have had her lights punched out by now. But we said we'd support Arizona and we will. Without making things even more difficult for her."

"How does it help her if we don't care about all this? What message does that send? That we don't care, that this stuff doesn't matter?" Callie forced her voice into a hushed tone, barely whispering but still low enough that her fury wasn't carrying through the apartment. "This is not alright." Callie raked her fingers through her hair, pulling strands of thick dark hair loose so that they fell to her face and left messy tracks towards her ponytail.

"You want to take your anger out; you take it out on me, Callie. You want to punch something, you punch me or a wall. You need to tone it back."

"I'm not going to punch someone," Callie spat back, face flushing red with anger. "What, you think I'm going to hit her? Piss off Mark, get out. You can just piss off."

Stepping back, hands entwined behind her head, she stumbled slightly and stared directly at Mark. Eyes unblinking and nostrils flaring as she continued to intermittently shake her head. She was vaguely aware of seconds passing, Mark observing her quietly with some awareness of Arizona reappearing by the door and watching the scene play out before her. "I didn't say that," he eventually murmured, voice deep though non-accusatory and somewhat soft.

"You may as well have," Callie tossed back without hesitation, as if ready and armed for his every feeble excuse.

"You're taking your frustration out on me, put it where it's meant to be, Call."

"Screw you."

"Everything okay?" Arizona asked calmly, blue eyes glazed but jumping between Mark and Callie, trying to decipher the bits and pieces she had heard and the non-verbal body language that emanated from them both.

"Fine," Callie muttered and Mark audibly sighed, rolling his shoulders and stepping back towards the door. He hesitated, leaning against the frame.

"Calliope," Arizona murmured, hand gliding along the kitchen bench, steadying herself as she stepped towards them.

Callie sucked in her bottom lip and chewed harshly on the skin, tearing a loose flake away from the tender flesh. "Don't do that," she whispered after a moment, the rusty taste of a few specks of blood invading her senses.

"Don't do what?" Arizona asked, forehead creasing in confusion.

"Call me Calliope."

Arizona laughed lightly and she observed Callie to visibly relax, shoulders slumping from their squared and tense position. "I don't think I'm going to stop now."

Mark coughed away a sly smile and they both turned in expectation towards him. "Sorry," he muttered. "But pity help if anyone else used your full name."

Arizona rolled her eyes and drew in a slow and even breath; though her exterior was calm, her pulse was still racing. "It's okay Call, this is just stuff. It's fine."

Callie scuffed her feet and scowled. "I'm angry at her," she stated, though her actions clearly communicated the obviousness of her words.

"I know," Arizona said, nodding her agreement. "But we knew there would be repercussions. Mark's right, no one is hurt."

"Nothing's missing?"

"A few photos, nothing major."

Callie brought her eyes to meet Arizona's, piteously glancing at each other. Arizona nodded her acknowledgement; photos of Callie and her. The ones that used to sit on Arizona's bedside table and next to the small vase that used to hold fresh flowers when Arizona had a chance to get to the farmers markets. That was back when they used to spread themselves more equitably between the two apartments, but these days Arizona's was more of a storage space then something they actually resided in.

"It's okay. We should go check yours and then organise somewhere to stay."

"Oh," Mark sprung slightly into action. "I forgot to tell you that I booked a hotel for a week, figured you would be keen for somewhere else. At least until it's all cleaned up and see if she's charged and all that."

"Thank you," Arizona accepted, smiling and nodding in appreciation; Callie mimicked her expression, conceding her misplaced rage.

Mark shook his head. "No big deal. I've actually booked under another name, did a bit of creative work and you're all checked in. Room cards are…somewhere," he murmured, patting his various pockets.

"Creative work?" Callie prompted, finally exhaling a long sigh and moving her legs slightly, releasing her tense muscles.

Mark gave a sheepish look. "A little yeah. Figured we couldn't book under your names or even me or Teddy. Called in a bit of a favour from Addison actually, although I think she's wondering who or what the hell I'm up to."

"Oh, I haven't seen Addie in forever," Callie said softly at the mention of her name. "I miss her."

'Mmmm," Mark agreed, "she's coming out soon actually, for a visit. Something about a conference nearby."

Arizona smiled at Callie's slowly calming state and picking up her handbag, she stepped back and slipped her hand into Callie's, fingers wrapping around the back of Callie's palm. "Thanks Mark," she said, though she had to admit to feeling somewhat surprised and humbled at his careful forethought. "I'll sort you the cash, transfer it."

Feeling a rush of embarrassment, Mark shook his head strongly. "Don't be crazy, it's the least I can do. We were meant to keep things nice and cruisy, calling you back early from your break wasn't really the plan."

"This is her thing," Arizona said softly. "She was never just going to just lie down and take it. I expected more maybe or I don't know, that there will be more."

"Yeah," Mark mumbled, "you weren't kidding."

Arizona shrugged, kidding she certainly hadn't been. It had taken a lot for them to understand, to comprehend what Emily was capable of. And she finally felt like they were, slowly, beginning to realise.

Callie squeezed Arizona's fingers, still working hard at containing the quivering resentment and fury though the external manifestation had dissipated. She knew that Arizona was sensing her every hesitation, using her spare thumb to soothingly stroke the inside of Callie's forearm, running from elbow to wrist rhythmically. "We should go," Callie said eventually, swallowing the tears that were threatening to replace the bubbling anger.

"Yeah," Arizona agreed, closing her eyes in a prolonged blink and releasing a lengthy sigh. "Let's go."

* * *

><p><em>With the crown of her head pushed against the stainless steel surface of the large refrigerator, Arizona's arms flailed. Strong fingers pierced the sides of her neck and compressed her airway, each breath felt pained and desperate. <em>

_She was panicking. Every desperate intake of air seemed shallower and less oxygenated, though it was partially to do with her racing pulse and disjointed cognition. Drawn back a few inches, she was pushed heavily into the fridge again, the inanimate object groaning under the pressure. A thick wetness drizzled down her hairline and past her ear; another small hidden scar._

_Screamed, nonsensical words reached her ears. She wasn't sure if it was Emily that was failing to make logic or she was past the point of being able to comprehend. _

_Arizona_ _was done._

_It was almost a conscious decision to relax her tense muscles and allow herself to surreally fall to the floor as if in slow motion. Her head tipped back and the tightness in her jaw dissipated so that her mouth hung open. She watched the ceiling briefly, taking count of the small speckles of water stains and the cobwebs dancing across the skirting board corner. Her final thought before her eyelids felt heavy; there were no spiders in the web._

_And when she woke, a tender thumb stroked the back of her hand and smooth fingernails trailed affectionately down her cheek. A harsh fluorescent light pierced her sensitive vision and she audibly groaned, a silver stethoscope swinging in her peripheral vision. _

_They were talking across her; Emily and a young, scrub clad doctor. Fall, loss of consciousness; glue, not stitches._

_Then there were kisses being pressed to her temple, dry lips that told of contradictions and facades. _

_Arizona_ _barely spoke a word; just smiled and nodded her agreement. A social worker stopped by the foot of her bed, asked if there was anything they needed. Hastily declined, she shared a glance with Arizona. Another smile dismissed her._

_She knew that the documentation would reflect her ambivalence – patient declined social work input; partner present and supportive. Who knew what lies Emily had told, though she almost appreciated the effort. Private facility or not, she didn't want to be caught up in some rumour filled bureaucracy. _

_They were home before she knew it, carrying the tail end of a post-concussion headache. Emily showered her with affection, running a bath and bringing her paracetamol with a tall glass of water. Tears brimmed in Emily's eyes, staring at Arizona as if she were bruised by a stranger. Not a hint of an apology; absent of regret yet so very ignorant of the collateral damage she caused with her bare hands._

* * *

><p>Disorientated in the dark hotel room, Arizona fumbled at her bedside table. Items tumbled across the small wooden structure and fell to the carpeted floor; her phone and an empty glass of water, the thin gold chain that held seven lucky rings – white, rose and yellow gold. A touch lamp flooded the room with a dull glow and Callie's stirring form jerked quickly awake. "What's wrong?" she asked, words slurred with a thick, stale tongue.<p>

"Sorry," Arizona gasped, facing away from Callie with a shaking hand still lingering over the surface of the table.

Callie squirmed under the covers, straightening her askew pyjama t-shirt and rolling on to her side. She reached a hand out, gently resting it on Arizona's hip. The slightest hint of a quiver trembled through her fingertips. "What happened?"

Arizona shook her head, audibly drawing in steadying breaths. "Nothing," she conceded softly. "Just a dream. I didn't mean to wake you."

"Not a big deal," Callie said, yawning. "Are you okay?"

Hesitating momentarily before responding, Arizona murmured a non-convincing, "yeah."

"Sure?"

Still working hard to even out her breathing, Arizona rolled on to her back. Callie lifted her hand slightly before laying it on Arizona's abdomen, feeling the slightly rushed rise and fall beneath her touch. "Yes," Arizona replied more definitely this time, offering a slight embarrassed laugh. "Had no idea where I was for a minute there."

"Big day today," Callie stated, acknowledging what had been left grossly unsaid for the past week. Their court date had crept towards them, spectacularly avoided between returning to shifts at the hospital and the hyper vigilance their life was requiring in the wake of Emily's trashing of their apartments.

"Shhhh," Arizona whispered, covering Callie's forearm with her hand and gripping it tightly. "We don't have to think about it until morning."

Tugging herself closer, Callie moulded her body into Arizona's, sharing their warmth. "Okay," she husked into Arizona's ear, dipping her chin to press consecutive kisses to her shoulder. "You want to tell me about the dream?"

Arizona shook her head, taking a deep breath and glancing at the ceiling. "Nah," she responded, "I'm okay. Just more crappy memories."

"Today will be over soon enough."

"Yeah." A barely convinced response, but at least the direct, necessary confrontation would be over. Everything else was out of her control; what Emily chose to do. She had been formally charged with break and enter, a few minimal counts of destruction of property. She had taken every framed photo of Arizona and Callie, as well as a few others that symbolised their life together in Seattle. They had been smashed and torn, dropped into a large commercial waste bin in the parking lot of their apartments. She had clearly not given a thought or care to being caught and charged. Still, the criminal proceedings were a different matter and would be dealt with external to the family court system; just something else for them both to stress about.

That fact was heightening Arizona more than anything, the lack of care and control that Emily was demonstrating. She had moved away from being quite calculated and cautious, to being completely reckless. Her alcohol intake was obviously unmanageable and Arizona suspected that the paranoia Emily had occasionally hinted at during their time together had gained momentum and was creating a delusional world where she could no longer differentiate. That, or she was truly evil.

The notion to Arizona though, that anyone was really that innately evil, was simply shattering. It went against everything she was and held such pride in.

Still, the possibility was undeniably there.

* * *

><p>"Ready?" Callie asked, fingernails digging in to her palm as Arizona sustained a death grip on her hand but refused to draw her eyes away from an unfocussed stare in front of her.<p>

"No."

Callie shared a glance with Teddy and Mark, patiently standing outside the courthouse where they would hold vigil until Callie and Arizona returned, expectantly, with permanent orders in place. "Right," she murmured. "Anything I can do to help?"

A fleeting scowl crossed Arizona's expression and she took a step towards the entrance, dragging Callie with her. "Let's get this _fucking_ over and done with and then we're moving to some remote Middle Eastern desert town."

Smiling slightly, Callie followed, offering a quick wave of acknowledge to Mark and Teddy, as they walked through the entrance. "Middle Eastern? I think a lovely coastal town somewhere would be better. Perhaps on the shore of a Scottish Loch?"

"Too cold," Arizona quickly shot back, face deadpan. "A beach on the east coast of Australia?"

"Oh yes, much better," Callie confirmed. "We can take up a cannabis habit and start surfing."

"Superb plan."

"Good to see you've got a healthy handle on things, Arizona," Callie joked, tugging Arizona into her and pressing a messy kiss into her blond hair.

Closing her eyes, Arizona finally turned her face and offered a small grin. "I know, I'm saying the same thing five million times, but I just want this over with."

"Me too."

"And I don't want to see her. At all."

"Mmm, not much either of us can do about that one but just ignore her, focus on me or the bored Judge. Okay?"

"Yep." Working hard at keeping her tone light and frame of mind positive, Arizona couldn't ignore the bubbling nausea in her stomach and nervous irregularity of her breathing. She tried to slow her mind and stop herself from running ahead with a range of different scenarios and hypothetical situations; just allowing herself to stride on autopilot into the correct courtroom and into a bench seat. A court appointed representative spoke quickly with them, affidavits in hand. Emily hadn't offered any counter-applications, so it was expected to go ahead without complication.

Callie noticed Emily first, striding in confidently with a suited man by her side, presumably her hired legal representative for the criminal charges as well. She was barely recognisable in a knee length dark blue skirt suit, complete with stockings and heels. Her hair had been pulled back into a groomed bun and thin rimmed glasses sat perfectly on the bridge of her nose. The only noticeable sign of anxiety was the way her thumb and forefinger constantly twirled a small pendant on a gold chain around her neck.

"Just keep looking ahead," Callie whispered, repositioning her arm to drape over the back of the chair so that her fingertips could gently maintain contact on Arizona's arm and shoulder. "We don't need to do anything or say anything, everything is under control." They had been assured that the Judge was unlikely to ask them anything other than to validate and confirm their most recent statements. A reassuring challenge to their television informed visions of oaths and cross-examinations.

Arizona sneaked a glance across the room and forced a shaky smile. "What are we going to do after this?" she asked quietly, voice wobbling slightly.

"Funny you should ask that," Callie whispered back, turning her body to almost block Arizona from Emily's view. "I've got a huge craving for ice cream, something completely decadent."

"It's eleven in the morning, Calliope."

"And?"

"Good point, maybe we should have lunch with Teddy and Mark. They're waiting outside, right?"

"Yep, they don't want to intrude, they just wanted to you know, show their support," Callie explained quickly and Arizona nodded.

"I know, I don't mind. It's nice."

"So lunch and then ice cream?" Callie asked, smiling.

Arizona rolled her eyes and leant into Callie. "Yes, and then ice cream."

The proceedings continued quickly, the entire formal hearing lasting less than ten or fifteen minutes. Emily sternly denied the allegations, performing admirably in her professional and condescending manner. She was essentially ignored though, the evidence and consistent reports enough for the temporary protection orders to be upheld. Arizona and Callie were asked only a few times to confirm that their secured apartments had been entered and that Emily had approached other parties as per their formal statements.

With a few brief words to their legal spokesperson, Callie and Arizona left quickly, exiting the courtroom before Emily had an opportunity to gather her belongings. Arizona had the misfortune of meeting Emily's eyes, as they rounded the edge of the bench seat and headed towards the exit through the middle of the courtroom. She smiled and Arizona felt bile simmer in the back of her throat, grinding her teeth when Emily raised the hand she held at her hip into a discrete wave.

The door jolted into place behind them and Arizona released a groan that radiated relief and frustration. "Get me out of here and to a nice relaxed lunch with a very strong coffee."

"Done," Callie confirmed, one hand to the small of Arizona's back as she hurried to keep up with Arizona's seemingly desperate pace. Pulling her cell phone from a small external zip pocket in her handbag, Callie pressed a few buttons and held the phone to her ear. "Hey," she murmured when Mark answered the phone, slightly breathless as she weaved between a few dawdling people that were blocking Arizona's direct route. "Yeah, we're done. You guys up for lunch? We need a coffee." Chuckling lightly, Callie shook her head. "Irish coffee would be nice, but we'll settle for a double shot espresso."

"Make it a triple," Arizona muttered over her shoulder and Callie eagerly nodded.

"Yeah, Arizona thinks a triple would be better. We're just heading out now, you're out front?" Callie paused, waiting for confirmation as they exited, eyes adjusting to the sunlight. "Yep, got you. See you in a second," she added, locating Teddy and Mark anxiously waiting.

"All done? Sorted? No problems?" Teddy asked quickly, words tumbling out of her mouth as she tucked wayward pieces of hair behind her ears and stopped Arizona at an arms length to scrutinise her appearance.

Arizona nodded and responded to Teddy's grip on her biceps with a genuine smile. "No dramas, order in place. Four hundred yards, workplace, home – all of that; same as the temp ones."

"Excellent," Teddy said, breathing her own sigh of relief. She crushed Arizona in a tight hug while Mark softly pushed at Callie's shoulder in his effort at emotional connectivity.

"I'm not kidding," Callie said, blinking away a swell of emotion as their shared relief. "I am desperate for a coffee, the instant I had this morning just isn't holding up."

"Right," Mark acknowledged, voice deep and with a clear sense of purpose threw an arm around Callie's shoulders. "Lunch it is. Any requests?"

A series of shrugs and head shakes were shared between them as Mark led them all towards his car. "Teddy, you mentioned that organic café near your place the other day. I wasn't really listening, did you say it was good or not?"

"Mmm," Teddy nodded, looping her arm into Arizona's. "Really good; exceptionally good even."

"Suits me," Callie agreed and Arizona nodded, a sudden eerie sense creeping up her spine. It was an odd foreboding sensation and it started in her lower back, tingling progressively towards the nape of her neck. Glancing over her shoulder, Arizona scanned for a brief moment before her eyes came to rest on Emily's form. She stood at the bottom of the steps, arms crossed and eyes fixated on Arizona; almost as if she was staring through her, expression filled with repulsion.

Teddy emulated Arizona's glance before tugging on her arm and drawing her back. "Don't look back," she mumbled, knowing that Arizona was holding the sharp intake of air she had drawn on sight.

"Fuck," Arizona muttered quietly, exhaling in a rush. She focussed her eyes on Callie's back, following step for step as they moved across grass and onto the sidewalk.

"Yeah," Teddy agreed. "Fuck." It seemed useless to make promises, false assurances that everything would be alright. That they had her back; could keep her safe. Teddy wasn't completely sure that any of them were safe. The person she had observed outside the hospital was a woman out of control, irrational and dangerous. She was escalating and despite every effort, some things they just didn't have any power over.

And predicting her next move; impossible.

* * *

><p>"<em>A gun license?<em> _Why do you possibly want a gun license?" Arizona froze, hand gripping the long handle of a wooden spoon, mid-stir in a large silver saucepan._

_Emily rolled her eyes, fingers caressing the small pistol as she turned it over and over, eyes wide in admiration. "Why would I possibly not?" she asked rhetorically, smile wide as a low laugh bubbled from the back of her throat. "This way I can always protect you, baby. How brilliant is that?"_

"_Guns aren't toys, Em," Arizona murmured, unable to draw her eyes away from the weapon. How she despised the very existence of guns._

"_Oh but they can still be fun. What happened to you? You used to have a sense of adventure, the old you would have been at the range with me. Ever since your brother, Arizona, you're just not the same. This way I can look after you better, you know that."_

"_I don't want guns in this house, please."_

_Emily laughed again, head rolling back. "This is my house baby, but I promise I'll keep it locked away. You won't even know it's here."_

_Arizona_ _shuddered; she doubted she would ever forget._

* * *

><p>TBC…<p> 


	13. Part 12

**AN: **Thank you so much for your continued support for this fic, I do love hearing your thoughts whether that be via PM, review or alerts.

A slightly shorter part, but it's one distinct section so, I hope that's a little tolerable to you! It's not too short though. :-) Just shorter than usual.

Thanks again and I hope you're still enjoying this and having a fabulous week.

Cheers, Author's Tune

* * *

><p>"Get Callie! Just get her…get her now, Mark!" Teddy was yelling, and she was aware that her voice was echoing through the emergency room.<p>

Mark stumbled over his own feet, trying to hastily remove the nylon gown and plastic apron that covered his scrubs. "She's in surgery," he stated, formulating the route and plan in his mind as he cursed as the tight knot that refused to budge behind his back.

"I think this meets the threshold for interrupting her Mark. Just get her, she needs to be here. Right now."

"I know," he replied, tearing the gown and discarding it into a yellow bin. "I'll get her, just stay here. Stay with Arizona."

They went their separate ways, Mark running and weaving through the department and towards the swinging double doors that led to the main foyer of the hospital and Teddy, scrambling a few steps backwards before turning to rush back into the trauma bay. She kept her eyes focussed on the bed, trying desperately to ignore the mass of bodies surrounding Arizona, laying prone on the bed. Tugging and pulling at her, harsh hands that explored wounds and hurriedly forced lines into her retracting veins.

Arizona fixed her eyes quickly on Teddy, a flash of relief across her dilated pupils. Teddy crouched at the head of the trolley, fingers finding the tangled mess of Arizona's blond curls. "We're getting Callie, Arizona. Mark has gone to pull her out of surgery."

Blinking in acknowledgment, Arizona's forehead creased in pain and she winced, mouth agape in silent agony. She moved her arm, left at an angle, lying to the side and off the bed where they had cannulated, to shadow her head. Her fingers seeking out the warmth and familiarity of a supportive touch. Teddy reacted quickly, sliding her hand into Arizona's and squeezing tightly. "Callie?" Arizona asked, pleaded.

"She's coming…she'll be here soon." Arizona nodded, recognition flooding her. Teddy had already told her that. "You're going to be okay, Arizona. You hear me? You're going to be fine." A bony, blood stained hair gripped back, jagged nails scraping at her skin.

Arizona kept her eyes focussed on Teddy, though her lids jammed shut at times to keep the agonised screams at bay. She knew the people who rushed around her, furiously working on her wounds, yet they may well have been strangers. Every ounce of her energy absorbed by the effort it was taking to stay grounded and in control; she needed Callie.

* * *

><p>Slowing himself just before bursting into the scrub room, Mark drew in a calming breath and stepped forward, slowly and deliberately. He grabbed a face mask from the wall and pressed it to his mouth, not bothering to tie the long white strands that kept it secured for lengthy surgeries. He pushed into the operating room, a range of faces glanced up to observe his entry, questioning stares from each of them – the scrub nurse, anaesthetist, resident; Callie. "Almost done?" he questioned.<p>

Callie's eyes were wide as she desperately tried to read his non-verbals, the way he stood more heavily on one foot and the slight twitch in his left eye. "Not really," she responded. "You need me?"

"Yes," he said strongly, nodding. "Now."

Her breath quickened and she fought a rush of heat creeping up her neck. "Close up, Karev," she instructed. "We'll reschedule, go back in tomorrow."

Eyes wide from the opposite side of the table, Karev looked from the sedated fifteen year old to Callie. "Are you kidding me?"

"Just do it, kid," Mark intercepted, oozing authority though Karev continued to mutter his dissatisfaction. "Look, it's Robbins alright, we need Torres, now."

The mention of his mentor was enough to settle Karev and he fell silent and nodded. A younger resident already poised and waiting for Karev to suture the small access wound to the teenager's patella.

Callie was out of the OR quickly, discarding her scrub cap and gown before rushing to the exit. Mark caught the back of her scrub top and dragged her back, pushing her to the sinks. "Scrub out," he instructed.

"What the hell has happened?" Callie asked, voice high and pace quick.

"Not long ago, maybe twenty minutes, Robbins was brought in from the paramedic bay," he began slowly, holding a towel ready to toss to Callie.

"What do you mean brought in?"

Mark coughed, clearing his throat. "She was found by a nurse from the ER, lying in that corner where the police spaces are; she had been stabbed, Callie."

Callie released a sudden gasp, the sound that was emanated resembling a startled feline. "She was what?" Callie questioned, catching the towel that was thrown to her and cursorily wiping at her forearms.

"Stabbed Call, a few times."

"Oh God," she huskily whispered. "Is she…" Callie trailed off, tears welling.

Mark shook his head quickly. "She's conscious, they look mostly superficial but she's in shock, pain. She's in trauma one."

It was enough to mobilise Callie and she tore out of the room, the towel tumbling to the floor behind her. Mark followed, running to keep up with the jagged sprint Callie had worked into, taking stairs to avoid waiting for the elevator and darting between carded walkways to minimise the number of people she had to negotiate space between.

She came to a sudden stop, just inside the trauma room, breathlessly interpreting the environment, though somewhat subconsciously. A warmed hospital blanket now covered Arizona and the only hospital staff surrounding her was a registered nurse and Teddy, sitting on a wheeled stool to the side of her bed. She held her hand gently, careful of the line that connected her to a bag of saline, slowly dripping into her. Arizona was oblivious to Callie's entrance, eyes closed and body now relaxed from the opioid painkiller she had been bolused with.

"Teddy," Callie murmured, eyeing the familiar nurse who quickly stepped away from Arizona's side to allow her access. "What happened? Is she okay?" Callie asked, leaning over Arizona and trailing her fingers across her pale forehead and cheeks. "Arizona?" she asked, not ready for Teddy to answer just yet. "I'm right here, Arizona. Okay? I'm here." Arizona managed only a soft murmur beneath barely parted lips, eyelids flickering but not opening.

Teddy nodded slowly, cocking her head to indicate for Mark to approach and hear the update, waiting patiently for Callie to raise her eyes. The initial flurry of activity had deescalated quickly, with preliminary assessments indicating that there were no arterial bleeds or punctured organs that were internally damaged. And the room had gradually emptied. It was similar to any trauma call, the patient either rushed to the operating room with a train of various specialists or, they each wandered off to finish the coffee they had barely started, content that they wouldn't be required.

"Is she okay?" Callie asked again, straitening to stand but keeping an open palm on Arizona's chest, feeling the rhythmic rise and fall.

"Short answer," Teddy started, slipping her hand out from underneath Arizona's limp grasp. "Yes."

The relief from Callie was palpable. "What happened? Mark said she was stabbed?"

"Yeah," Teddy answered, "she was. There's three stab wounds, one on her back and two on her side," she said, indicated with a nod to the side Callie was standing on. "One is deeper and will need suturing, maybe a few internal stitches as well. The other two are superficial, maybe a couple of sutures or just butterfly taped."

Callie shook her head, looking from Mark to Teddy as tears gathered in her eyes. "That fucking nutcase," she whispered, voice breaking. "What do we do now?"

"The police are here," Teddy responded quietly. "They're looking at security footage, but someone said it was in a black spot."

"They don't need it, we know who it was. They have to charge her, hold her. She's going to…she's…this is just too much. I don't know what to do. We can't protect her; I can't protect her. What do I…what do I do?"

Mark and Teddy both soundlessly absorbed Callie's helplessness, watching her dissolve into tears in front of them. She covered her face, chin dropping and shoulders trembling. No one moved to comfort her and there were no magic words or phrases that were going to make the situation any different, let alone better. The vulnerability in the room was unmistakable – strong, educated and supported people, all completely and utterly lost.

It was Arizona that broke the silence eventually, slurring as she asked, "Callie?"

Trailing her fingertips over her, Callie crouched down, one hand on the side of Arizona's face as she learnt in and kissed her cheek. Thick tears continued to mutely fall down her own, yet Arizona's were dry. "I'm right here Arizona." She wanted to say that it was okay; to whisper assurances but her voice betrayed her with each syllable shaky and broken.

"I'm okay," Arizona murmured from behind closed eyes.

"Yep, you're okay," Callie said, bowing her forehead to Arizona's, her body quivering as she fought to breathe and contain the simmering sobs. "You're okay," she tried again, but her words were only unsteadier and her lips wet where they lingered near Arizona's ear.

Mark looked at Teddy first, immobilised with her eyes fixated on an invisible spot on the opposite wall. He took a few steps towards Callie, running a hand up her spine and coming to rest at the back of her neck, fingers and thumb squeezing the muscle and tendons. Callie released a single sob before standing and falling into Mark's chest, hands desperately gripping at the material of his scrub shirt. He enveloped her tightly, keeping her upright and pressed into his body as her legs weakened, torso sliding a few inches towards the blood speckled floor.

He held her for a long time, gently swaying after her cries lost some fervour. Absent though, were murmured comforts, for there weren't words to realistically portray his own emotion without upsetting them all further. Teddy returned her hand to slowly stroke Arizona's forearm, running back and forth, and feeling inadequate in her inability to offer anything more.

They were all unaware though, of Arizona's flickering eyelids and the vacant stare that haphazardly witnessed the grief surrounding her. And in her drug induced haze, a deep realisation settled within her. Someone or something; somehow, had to stop her.

* * *

><p>The artificial light was all too familiar; the long rectangular panels of yellow that made shadows out of plastic water canisters and faded blue chairs. After almost twelve hours, Callie was craving the comforting feel of the cushioned bed she shared with Arizona, and the decadent duvet they had spent half a week's salary on. She was exhausted, having gone from an extended day's shift at the hospital to being rushed into the emotionally draining crisis of Arizona's most recent assault.<p>

Stabbed.

Arizona had been stabbed. The police involvement was continuing and they had been to speak with Emily at length over Arizona's assault. There were some key evidence gaps, including a missing weapon, absent security footage and Arizona's statement that couldn't identify a perpetrator. In police terms anyway; for use in a courtroom, in front of a jury. They had held Emily in custody, but were compelled to release her without substance to substantiate charges.

Arizona had woken up several times, but settled easily with Callie's presence and some antimetics; the nausea an effect of the significant pain medication she had been given in the emergency room. Callie was waiting, somewhat impatiently for Arizona to fully wake. She could be discharged if she wanted to, they had no medical need to keep her as an inpatient but were more than happy for Arizona to stay. There wasn't an Attending in the hospital that wouldn't sign off on her admission.

Despite her keenness, Callie was dozing when Arizona woke, taking a few minutes to orientate herself and unfortunately fully recall the events that led to her being in a hospital bed, though a private room thankfully. Callie stirred at the feel of Arizona's fingernails, scratching lightly at her scalp, hair entangling her hand. Raising her face from the edge of the mattress, Callie smiled and rubbed at her eyes. "Hey," she said, softly.

Arizona returned the mild grin, withdrawing her hand and tracing Callie's cheekbone with her fingertip. "You have a mark from sleeping on the sheet."

"Blech," Callie grumbled, shaking her head to try and rid the fog from her mind. "Comfy. Anyway, how are you feeling?"

A shadow passed across Arizona's face, the slight smile disappearing. She shrugged. "Alright, I guess."

They stared at each other, both exhaling in a shared sense of disbelief and defeatism. "Any pain?" Callie asked, devoid of any other options.

'No, not really; I feel okay. Any update?"

Callie shook her head. "No, sorry honey."

"They don't have much to go on, hey?"

"Not really. Security are trying to access other cameras, from across the road. Maybe there was some fluke where _it_ can be seen."

Arizona held her hand out; she didn't want to keep talking about it. Her mind was filled with flashing images and sounds, just more trauma to add to her already wounded spirit. Callie took her hand in both of hers, bowing her head to press a series of consecutive feather light kisses to Arizona's knuckles.

_The burning at her side was instantaneous and she stifled a loud expletive. At first, she thought a spider must have bitten her, or some super wasp had stung her. Her skin felt hot and pain radiated down her leg, up her back and around her abdomen. _

_Then she remembered the muffled voice and the hard object that collided with her skull, making her stumble further into her hidden smoking alcove. Hidden from all but the few who sneaked the occasional cigarette between patients; those who had no interest in being known as a staff smoker. _

_She started to turn when the agony spread; multiplied. She knew then that she was screaming, though she doubted any sound was really coming out. It seldom did._

_And she was falling to the ground, legs folding underneath her and back arched, head tilting back. The floor was hard, yet comforting in its presence. Her eyes stared at the rendered wall, a mere inch or two away; footsteps faded in the distance._

"Hey…hey, Arizona," Callie was sitting on the side of Arizona's bed, holding both of her hands and folding them into her chest. "You with me?"

Arizona was deathly white, blue eyes glazed and the taste of blood filling her mouth. She stared at Callie, breathing deeply and running her tongue over the inside of her mouth. She coughed.

"You're at the hospital, with me. No one else is here."

Arizona nodded; she knew that. Swallowing, she squinted at the metallic taste. "I bit my tongue," she whispered, child like.

Squeezing her hands tightly, Callie used her thumbs to caress the back of Arizona's palms. "Do you need me to get someone?"

"No. Thank you," Arizona said, forcing her eyes open. Each time she closed them, memories rushed at her; the consequence of the sedating pain medication having worked its way out of her system.

"_Are you alright, there?" _

_Arizona tried to raise her head off the ground, but she only managed a slight, barely detectable movement. "Help," she muttered, inaudible at first. "Help,  
>she repeated, this time her voice carrying to the woman standing nearby, an unlit cigarette held between two fingers.<em>

_Footsteps approached her and Arizona found herself shuddering at the sound, waiting for the mixed illusion to result in another injury; more pain. "Jesus," the woman murmured, crouching down and placing a hand on Arizona's hip. "Dr Robbins?"_

_Blood had spread, staining her dark blue scrubs and spreading into small thick piles. Arizona made a pitiful sound, internally begging for action. _

"_Just…just wait a second, I'll get some help Dr Robbins. Just a second."_

_And she was gone._

"Calliope," Arizona articulated with a gasp, eyes filling with tears.

Callie nodded, over and over; searching for a way to wrap her arms around Arizona. She was drifting in and out, somewhere between the present and the past; acutely aware of her instability, her weak grasp on sanity.

Repositioning herself to awkwardly keep a foot on the plastic bedside chair, Callie scooted further up the bed, her back resting against the two pillows. Arizona moulded in to her, shrinking into her stomach and re-gripping Callie's hands.

"She stabbed me," Arizona whispered, not caring at the messy blond strands of hair fell down her forehead and over her eye, caught between her temple and Callie's abdomen.

Callie closed her eyes and exhaled. "I know, I know. I'm so sorry."

"I don't know what happened. How did this happen?"

Arizona's body shook, yet no tears fell from her eyes. Physiologically, she was still somewhere between shock and a paralysing fear. Callie held her, releasing one hand so that she could rub her shoulder and cradle her head.

"_Arizona? We're just getting a bed, we'll get you inside." The voice was familiar this time and she jerked her eyes open at the pain suddenly radiating through her body. Teddy filled her vision, leaning over her and pressing a thick towel to her back._

"_What happened, Robbins?" Mark asked and Arizona opened her mouth to speak but no words came out. "What happened? Did Emily do this?"_

"_I don't know, I don't know. I don't know," Arizona muttered, head rolling. _

"_Leave it Mark," Teddy instructed sternly, trying to soften her expression and to slip into her working façade. "Everything is going to be fine Arizona, we're going to take care of you. Just relax for me."_

"_Oww," Arizona murmured, acknowledging the pain that was cursing through her for the first time. "Teddy," she quietly begged._

_Mark stepped and crouched to the side of Teddy, sliding a muscular arm under Arizona's shoulders. "Where are they getting a trolley from? Post op? Just keep the pressure on, alright?"_

_Teddy and Mark shared a glance, questioning each other silently. After a moment, Teddy nodded and changed sides, one hand holding the bunched up towel, the other on Arizona's arm. She stepped in blood; Arizona's blood._

"Teddy and Mark…Teddy and Mark were there?" Arizona asked through squeezed eyes.

"Yeah," Callie replied, nodding, though Arizona could only just detect the motion. "They got you inside, I think. They're still here, they keep messaging me and calling in."

"Everyone knows," Arizona surmised.

Callie shrugged. "I guess, they know what happened. Some of them were there, in the trauma room, working on you. Bailey, Meredith, Kepner; it didn't look so okay at first, they had the OR prepped and scrub nurses on standby."

"Oh."

"Stay here tonight?" Arizona asked after a lengthy silence engulfed them.

"Here?" Callie asked and she knew by the feel of Arizona tensing, that the meaning of her query was obvious.

"Yes, stay here with me."

"Of course."

_Callie was crying; sobbing into Mark's shoulder. Arizona tried to force her eyes to stay open, but the lids closed involuntarily. She opened her mouth to speak, to ask Callie to cry into her; to cry with her. But the words couldn't be verbalised, just a few sounds emitted rather than the sentences her brain formed._

_She felt her hand clasped and soft fingers trace the inside of her arm. It felt distant yet reassuring; safe almost._

_The lights in the room faded to grey and then brightened again, as she opened her eyes. She couldn't sustain the effort and the world seemed blurry. _

_Callie was still crying._

* * *

><p><em><strong>TBC...<strong>  
><em>


	14. Part 13

**AN: **Hi All! I know, I know...it's been forever between updates but I'm still plodding away on this! :-) I do hope you tolerate my slackness okay and that the wait is somewhat worth it. I really appreciate all your reviews, messages, alerts and 'gentle' hassling! Thank you.

I did a very quick proofread, having trouble keeping my eyes awake. So I'm really sorry for any typos or errors that I didn't pick up on.

Cheers, Author's Tune

* * *

><p><strong>Part 13<strong>

The nightmares came back with a vengeance throughout the night; the mild paracetamol and codeine pain relief doing little to dull her subconscious into submission. She fought the invisible force, arms flailing dramatically and confused hands pushing Callie away and then gripping her into her body, caught somewhere between reality and vivid, fear filled images. Callie fumbled with her, whispering false comforts and familiarity to lull her back into a restless sleep, her own consciousness blurred by a thick grogginess of sleep deprivation and stress.

Arizona was still sleeping just after eight in the morning, when two plain clothed detectives entered the private hospital room. Their eyes connected with Callie's and then travelled to Arizona's form before returning back again, questioning. Callie rose slowly from the chair she was curled up in, extricating her arm from where Arizona held a loose grip. "News?" she asked quietly, padding barefoot across the room and leaning against the wall, just adjacent to the closed door.

The female detective cleared her throat and extended a hand. Callie took it and slowly shook, strangely noticing the firm yet gentle grip. "Yes," she responded clearly, keeping her voice hushed.

Callie raised her eyes, waiting patiently for the update to continue. "Let her sleep," Callie insisted after a moment, sensing the hesitation. "If it's bad news, I'll fill her in."

The expression of both faces in front of her changed immediately, carefully controlled features softening as they shook their heads. "Oh no, it's not; at all. Actually, it's fairly good news. They did a second sweep this morning of the accused premises, and a possible weapon was seized. Some security footage was located of Ms Bowers which would have placed her at the scene though there is no direct footage of the incident. We're just waiting some testing, although it had been cleaned, there were still traces of blood visually evident. That'll take a little time though, and until those results come through, we have been granted an order to maintain custody."

Callie breathed an audible sigh of relief; she had been expecting to hear that nothing useful had been found linking Emily to the assault. "So she'll be held pending those results?"

"Yes."

Callie nodded her understanding and tried to interpret the non-verbals. "You don't look convinced?"

The male Detective shrugged his shoulders, his ambivalence was palpable. "It'll depend on the results; there may be enough to charge her with aggravated battery. She's already requesting a psychiatrist, it's unlikely she would be held without bail and the suggestion is that she'll be admitted to a psychiatric facility today."

"A secure facility?"

"It's not up to us."

"Of course," Callie bit back quickly, her voice grating with the effort to contain her frustration and maintain a hushed tone. "She better be involuntary, there's no way she can just walk out of some facility."

She earned a nod of agreement. "Yeah look, I can't really see the court signing off on her release as is. Particularly given the protection order; it's just likely given the way she's presenting that mental health treatment is a priority."

Callie exhaled loudly and nodded slowly. "God forbid my partner's _safety_ would be a priority."

"We'll need a statement," he responded quickly, avoiding any progression into an emotional discussion. There were things he had control of and many that he didn't; court decisions were one of them. "From Dr Robbins, that is. Will she be being discharged today?"

Scowling, Callie glanced back of her shoulder and around the corner. Arizona still lay in the bed, covers drawn but some distinct movements under the blankets could be seen. "Possibly," Callie replied, deliberately vague. "We have your card, from last night. I will bring Arizona down when she's awake and feeling up to it." There was a clear change in Callie's behaviour, squaring her shoulders and evening out her voice. She was fast approaching her limit of watching Arizona be trodden over, the way the system and people within it, had treated her. Over and over again she was being victimised, intimated and assaulted by Emily and then let down by the very protection that every person was meant to be afforded, just be being citizens. The eternally frustrating part of their society were that the absolute lunatics that took away others' rights were given the very same in return. The system was suddenly so very flawed.

"Of course, that's fine. Take your time. Just to reiterate, there is some good news. It's unlikely that Ms Bowers will be released without conditions."

"Yes, I understand. Thank you," Callie responded curtly. "I would appreciate being kept up to date and notified immediately of any transfer or release." Stepping forward, the female Detective extended an arm and squeezed Callie's shoulder. Callie swallowed at the lump that swelled immediately at the small, detached symbol of empathy. "I don't mean to be rude," she murmured after a moment. "This has just been going on and on, it's ridiculous."

"I know. Sometimes we get as frustrated as you do."

"I suppose you do."

"Just come down to the station, when you're both ready. I'll be in touch though. Would you prefer to be called rather than Dr Robbins? I have both of your contact details."

Callie nodded and her expression softened a little in relief. "Please."

They disappeared quietly out the door then, shutting it closed behind them. Arizona was lying back as Callie turned around, eyes open and shoulders slightly raised by an extra pillow she had manoeuvred into place. "Hey," Arizona said softly, voice scratched and uneven with a dry throat.

"Hey yourself," Callie murmured, forcing a smile. "I'm sorry we woke you."

"Police?"

"Yeah, Detectives. Just giving an update."

"Hmmm?" Arizona asked, intonation rising.

Callie walked closer, leaning across the bed and pressing a lingering kiss to Arizona's forehead before dropping her mouth to Arizona's lips. "How are you feeling?" she asked, an open palm to Arizona's cheek and stroking the skin below her cheekbone.

Arizona relaxed slightly and released the breath she was holding. "Feeling okay," she answered. "Not too sore. Sorry, I didn't mean to bombard you."

Callie shook her head. "Don't be sorry, I just wanted to say good morning first and to see how you are. You had a rough night."

A flash of recognition crossed Arizona's eyes and she blinked, keeping her eyelids closed for a moment. "Yeah," she murmured, shuddering. "It all came back to me after that morphine wore off."

"Maybe some sleep this afternoon, if you're feeling up to being discharged. We can get back to the room and away from all this, a little anyway."

Arizona nodded slowly, licking her lips nervously. Callie edged back, sitting down on the edge of the bed with one hand travelling the length of Arizona's arm until their fingers could slip together. "So?" Arizona prompted.

"Well," Callie began quietly, tucking a piece of dark hair behind her ear. It was dry and slightly tangled, and for a moment, she couldn't quite remember what day it was or when she had last showered and washed her hair. "There's some good news, maybe better news than we expected really. Or, well, I don't know. I guess; good news." Arizona observed her silently, eyes narrowed as she tried to track Callie's dialogue. "They found the umm, knife...found what they think was the knife that she used. But it has to be tested, all that formal stuff. Make sure it's the right one, even though that seems completely ridiculous. How many knives would she have in her home with a bit of blood on it." Arizona blinked - _her blood_. "So yeah, that's happening, all the testing at the moment. And they got some security footage, I suppose from the front of the hospital and maybe through some of the corridors. Anyway, all the times match and so that's good too, 'cause they have her in custody now. Holding her for the moment, until they can charge her because I just thought then, even if nothing else, they can get her for breaching the protection order. Coming to the hospital, your work."

"Okay," Arizona whispered slowly. "So that's okay, right? What am I missing?"

Callie shook her head. "Nothing…really."

Sighing, Arizona squirmed in position, wincing at a tug of pain pierced her side. "Please don't hold information back from me, Calliope."

Callie smiled slightly, and squeezed Arizona's hand. "Am I that transparent?"

"Yes."

"They don't think she'll be released unconditionally," Callie explained slowly, watching Arizona focus intently on her. "But she might be released into a psych unit, she's apparently requesting a psychiatrist or something and it sounds, just from reading between the lines, that she's a bit unwell. I mean, we know she's crazy right, but I guess she's really sounding it. The pretending that she's so good at, isn't working. Or maybe that's a strategy, I don't know."

"She's needs help."

A look of disgust flashed across Callie's face and bile bubbled at the back of her throat. "We need help; you need help. She, she deserves to rot in jail."

"Yeah," Arizona murmured, the last thing she wanted was an argument with Callie. "I just meant that maybe if she gets some help, this might all stop."

"This might stop, Arizona?" Callie gasped, dropping her head. "She could have killed you," she murmured, voice breaking. And Arizona was rushed back, flashes of Callie sobbing into Mark's chest, the images carved into her drug dulled consciousness. "I could have lost you," she emphasised, dark brown orbs shining with tears.

"You didn't."

"But I could have."

"I know," Arizona whispered, holding Callie's hand tightly between both of her own. "Trust me, I know. And I feel like I should be apologising," she started to say, a half smile when Callie tensed in her whole and glared at her. "But I figure that response is only half of it."

"Don't you dare…"

Arizona nodded. "Okay," she murmured softly before forcing a change in subject. "Do you think you could help me get sorted for a shower? Maybe it'll help me feel human again, wash a little of this feeling away."

Agreeing, Callie hesitated, fingers grasping Arizona's and their slightly ragged breathing in unison. "Do you want to get out of here today?" she asked gently.

"Yes," Arizona responded, without a hint of doubt.

"Okay, but I need to hear from you that this wasn't your fault. I didn't mean to make it sound like it was; that's the last thing I want to say. There's so much actually, that I want to say to you but my mouth, I'm fairly sure, has a mind of its own."

"Call, don't. You don't need to do this, at all. I just want to take a shower, and I'm fairly sure I'm starting to smell, so it's in the best interest of all."

Callie smiled but shook her head. "Tell me, Arizona."

Eyes dropping instantaneously, Arizona drew in a slow deep breath, willing the involuntary swell of tears to subside before they fell down her pale cheeks. "I don't know," she mumbled.

"You don't know?"

"I don't know how to tell you what you want to hear."

"Sweetheart."

Arizona shook her head and squeezed her eyes shut at the tear the movement released, slowly rolling over her high cheekbone before disappearing below her jawline. "I just want to have a shower," she articulated with broken syllables, tugging her hands free of Callie's.

"Can you listen to me? For a just a minute?" Callie asked, resting her palms against Arizona's blanket covered thighs when her fingers withdrew suddenly from her tight touch. "You've got this look in your eye and it's the same one I've seen a few times lately. And seriously, it freaks me out. It's the same look that you had when we sat on my sofa and stupidly decided that we couldn't compromise; that _we_ weren't enough to make this work. I'm not running, Arizona, okay? I'm here and I'm so not getting this right all the time, but there is not a chance in hell that I am going anywhere. And I will not let you run, either – if you want to go somewhere, than I go too. Where ever, whenever, if it's half way around the world, I don't care. If you really just want to leave this all behind then I will not stay here without you, okay?"

Arizona shuddered in silent reply, heart rate quickened and throat tight. "I didn't say that." The words were barely audible.

"You didn't have to, I can see it; I've been seeing it. You think you have to protect me, right? You're constantly searching for a way to keep _me_ safe." It was a risk, and Callie knew she was taking a inconceivable gamble; Arizona could just as easily extract herself and never look back.

"I did this to you." Arizona could hardly get the words out, teeth clenched and unknowingly, grating at her throat with her nails.

"No," Callie retorted quickly and firmly. "You didn't actually, put the blame where it should be. And that isn't on you, it's on that crazy woman who is currently in custody – she's in custody."

"Calliope, I can't do this anymore."

"I know you can't; I know. But taking off, not an option – please?"

Arizona hesitated before dropping her hands to the bed. She curled her hands into fists and weakly punched at the hard hospital mattress. "I am, so _fucking_ scared."

Callie closed her eyes in a prolonged blink, exhaling a shaky breath. She nodded, slowly. "None of this is your fault…"

"I know, I do. I just don't know what else to do, I really don't. I just can't do it."

Covering Arizona's fists with her hands, Callie ducked her head until she drew Arizona's gaze, earning a small, tearful smile at the deliberate effort. "What can I do?"

"I honestly have no idea."

"Maybe we start with that shower?"

Arizona nodded. "Please," she murmured, drawing her chapped lower lip into her mouth and chewing on it. "I don't want to leave you," she said quietly, easing her legs off the side of the bed; they dangled, not quite reaching the sterile floor.

"Good," Callie said, moving to stand in front of Arizona and cupping her face with her hands. "And you won't give it another thought, will you?" Arizona blushed in response, it was an instinct she knew she would have again. She had proven time and time again, that she wasn't afraid of being hurt if it meant protecting the ones she loved. "Okay, should I reframe that? You'll tell me, right? Won't leave me stressing when I can see it on your face, read in those blue eyes of yours?"

"I won't," Arizona concurred huskily.

Callie nodded, slipping her hands down Arizona's neck and over her shoulders. Arizona stood shakily, her body stiff and sore but largely unpainful. Blocking her after a few steps, Callie's expression became serious, eyes intently meeting Arizona's glazed look. "I love you Arizona and one day, one day soon when all this crap is behind you, us; I'm going to ask you to marry me."

Eyes widening, Arizona's mouth fell slightly agape, breath subconsciously held mid inhalation. "What?" she gasped.

"Yep," Callie said confidently, nodding as the corners of her mouth twitched into a smile at the realisation of what she had just expressed. "I don't want you to be too surprised; I know how you hate that. But, I'm just putting it out there okay. I want nothing more than for us to be married but I'm not insane, I know this isn't the time. But I want you to know that every day I just find myself loving you more…so much more. And I quite genuinely, can't imagine my life; or a day even, without you in it."

"Calliope." Arizona face was unreadable, fresh tears again glistening against the fluorescent lights and her fingertips, lightly tapping at Callie's abdomen, the crushed shirt material barely registering the touch.

Callie rolled her eyes, nervousness fluttering in the pit of her stomach. "I know, I'm still the soppy one, even after all this time."

Arizona shook her head. "No," she said quietly, expression serious. "I can't wait for you to ask me."

They shared a brief, almost embarrassed look before their lips met in a gentle, affectionate kiss before Arizona leant her body carefully against Callie. Tender arms snaked around her shoulders. "Okay?" Callie asked after a few minutes.

"Not really," Arizona answered honestly, voice muffled into Callie's shoulder. "But at some point I will be, won't I?"

"Yes, you will. I don't make stupid promises, but that one I'll keep."

"Thank you." Arizona drew in a deep breath. "I can't begin to say how much I love you too."

It was another minute before Callie broke the silence. "Let's get you cleaned up, hey?"

Being led into the small adjoining bathroom, Arizona allowed Callie to check her sutures and dressings, applying a thin waterproof sheath to keep the gauze dry. She lingered whilst Arizona showered, busying herself with tying and retying her hair into a short ponytail and brushing her teeth. She was deliberately loitering really, waiting in case Arizona needed help working the shampoo into her hair or rinsing it out. She didn't, but did gratefully step into a hospital towel when Callie held it out for her, skin clean and brighter, yet still painfully pale. "A little better?" Callie asked, taking a second towel from a pile in the corner of the bathroom. The material was so rough, a testament to too many times washed with a commercial disinfectant.

Arizona nodded and smiled. "Yes." Her eyes were sunken with deep, dark blue circles underneath her lower eyelids. They created such a shadow on her fair complexion. "Bet you're keen for one when we get back to the room, hey?"

"God yes," Callie eagerly answered. "And a change of clothes will be fabulous."

Arizona screwed her nose up, tilting her head forward so her hair hung over her face and dripped to the floor. Using the towel, Callie worked the ends free of water and then rubbed at her scalp. "Me too," she agreed, knowing that Callie had found an old change of clothes in the back of her work locker though the khakis were at least a size too big and the long sleeve shirt was usually kept for cold days, worn underneath her scrubs and then followed by her thick white coat. The scrubs she had been wearing the day before had been cut off of her and the idea of stepping back into a pair was almost nauseating in that moment; an odd morphing of worlds.

Briefly checking the three covered wounds, Callie nodded her approval. "They're still good, you right to get dressed?"

"Yes."

"Alright, I'll go organise discharge papers and bring them back. Happy for me to organise Mark to drive us?"

"Yeah of course, as long as he's free. We can always take a cab if he's caught up."

Callie smiled, Arizona was incredibly oblivious to the concern and fear that not just Mark and Teddy were quietly experiencing, but everyone in that trauma room the day before. Close to Arizona or not, she was one of their own. "My run of text messages and missed calls says he's definitely around and waiting."

A glimpse of self-deprecation flashed fleetingly across Arizona's face. "Oh, okay. They know I'm okay, right? I hope no one's worrying too much."

Rolling her eyes and shaking her head, Callie said, "yes, Arizona. No one really cared that you came in as a trauma call, stabbed in the hospital ground. Look to be honest," she continued, voice oozing a coy sarcasm, "they're really hoping to get rid of you. You're so annoying."

Arizona lightly slapped at Callie's arm with her fingertips. "Sarcasm is not your strong point. Go on, get things sorted."

"Yeah yeah," Callie said, nodding. She took two steps before halting and sliding backwards, pressing a lingering kiss to Arizona's cheek, damp hair against her eye.

Only then did she exit properly, clicking the bathroom door into place behind her and pressing at her phone screen before holding it to her ear with her shoulder. "Everything's fine…" she responded quickly, Mark having answered the phone with a rush of urgent questions. "You free to be our chauffeur shortly?"

* * *

><p>Sitting in a plastic chair, Emily's heel tapped continuously against the leg, monotonous and unrelenting. Her eyes stared straight ahead, glazed and unfocussed; she frowned at times, at the plain white wall. At every question, she stuttered. Half answers with broken phrases, half words. Where she once made sense, provided logical if not evasive answers; now, only irrationality remained.<p>

"Security footage shows you entering the main entrance of the hospital; what were you doing there?"

When the words were articulated, past the stammering, they were tangential and hung in a place that was neither present, nor past. "They fix the broken parts, hands of God. Mending; rainbows on walls."

"Did you intend to hurt Arizona Robbins?"

"Red. Only red hearts that beat as one; fairy dust. Fairy dust in the air, fixing the spawn."

"Where did you get the knife? From your apartment?"

"The lights are bright there; brown hair on blonde. Blue, crystal blue, sees no façade. Only false forevers."

"Do you have a mental illness, Emily? Do you see a Psychiatrist?"

She laughed, hauntingly; too far gone for logical answers. She had already requested her therapist, hours ago when she was deciphering reality. But then he slammed his fists on the desk and the walls shook; she was lost on impact. "White, white walls and the children scream. There are no parents here, broken, broken, broken, broken, children." Her face contorted and she raised a hand to her mouth, fingers visibly trembling. The noise she emitted was high pitched and loud, a reverberating sound that echoed in the small, four walled room.

The officers winced and shared a stare. They nodded. "Call nine one one, this woman's a nut job. Needs a bloody long sleep, we'll keep her under armed guard; I'll get the paperwork started. More freakin' paperwork, I could have been lawyer you know, got accepted in Harvard."

"Yeah yeah, keep dreaming the good dream. You're saving the world, one crazy at a time. This wasn't in the academy spiel."

"No it was not. Bastards, they'd never recruit anyone if this was the crap they advertised. Get the paramedics, and maybe some earplugs."

"Yeah, righto."

"And tell 'em not to take her to Seattle Grace, the victim is a doctor there – though patient after the knifing." He rubbed the bridge of his nose. "Quiet hey, there's no need for squealing." The continuous noise had already frayed his last semblance of nerves. "Shhhhh," he added, trying to meet Emily's eyes though they stared right through him.

Rocking slightly in the seat, she held her hands out in front of her and rubbed her fingers together. Over and over, the same repetitive movement as her vocal cords constricted and the noise halted. "Red paints the world, red red red. She was once so beautiful," Emily murmured and cocked her head, eyes on the ceiling and mouth agape. "Butterflies on her hair, cast in shadows. _She_ shadowed her, dark dark…" Elongating the final word she dissolved again, half crying and half muttering nonsensical words to herself.

Until the paramedics slipped the white pills in her mouth.

* * *

><p><strong><em>TBC...<em>**


	15. Part 14

**AN: **Thank you so much everyone! Let the show continue with the next part…:-)

* * *

><p><strong>Part 14<strong>

Almost forty-eight hours later, Arizona had only just managed to get eight solid hours sleep. She still woke a couple times, but finding the room cloaked in darkness, was able to carefully roll over and drift back to sleep, fingertips maintaining light contact with Callie, whether curled around her arm or tapping at her side.

She had been to the police station closest to the hospital on two occasions since she was discharged from the hospital, one to make her formal statement and the second time, to sign additional documents and answer further questions. The statement had required the most energy and by the end of multiple hours, she was teary and exhausted. And unfortunately, that first night back at the motel, sleep had continued to evade her. Which had just added to her fatigue, building the internal stress until her temper was shortened and emotions were bubbling constantly just below the surface.

Little things sent her over the edge, like when she dropped a cheap butter knife off the kitchen bench and spluttered peanut butter to the tiles; which ended in dissolution, tears tumbling down her cheeks. Or the hair tie that got caught in her hair, a strand of blond tangled with the thin black elastic. She had ripped it out in frustration, a bunch of knotted hair torn from her scalp.

Callie was being unusually assertive and protective; or _unusually_ for the past months anyway. Some sparks of her previous fire; the passion and fiery nature that saw her respected as an orthopaedic surgeon before she even had her fellowship. The same girl that once challenged Arizona's misconceptions about her life, her maturity, well before they had even begun. And the same person that didn't give up and walk away from her career, when it was torn out from under her; nor her family, the security blanket she had always had, when it disappeared from her grasp.

She didn't leave Arizona during her statement or questioning by the investigation unit, even when they insisted; she simply persevered with an unwavering stubbornness. After hours without a break and sensing Arizona's weariness, she advocated for an interlude, taking Arizona down the road for a strong coffee and some fresh air before heading back in.

And when they suggested that charges be dropped in exchange for involuntary psychiatric treatment, Callie didn't even give Arizona a moment for ponder the thought. They wouldn't agree, never.

* * *

><p>"Good morning," Callie murmured quietly, placing a steaming cup of peppermint tea and a round plate on Arizona's bedside table. She leant down, one hand on the mattress to the side of Arizona and pressed consecutive kisses to the corner of her eye and down her cheek.<p>

"Hey," Arizona said in return, voice sketchy with sleep. She rubbed at her eyes and reached out to tenderly trail her hands over Callie's shoulder, bare skin exposed by the loose t-shirt she wore hanging down her arm. "You made me breakfast?"

Callie nodded. "Sure did, I was hoping you might have more of an appetite this morning after some decent sleep."

"I did sleep better, how about you?"

"Me too," Callie agreed.

"I didn't kick so much, hey?"

Callie chuckled. "It's not so much the kicking as the wild arms I have to watch out for."

Sheepishly, Arizona shrugged. "Sorry about that."

Callie waved the unnecessary apology away. "Now, I made some pancakes and bacon, though the pan in this joint could do with updating. I wouldn't like to be trying to make something decent. So they're a little burnt on one side and lightly browned on the other."

"Mmm, pancakes. Yum," Arizona responded, sitting up and pushing herself slowly back to lean against the wall, her pillow behind her shoulders.

"Okay?" Callie questioned, concerned at the grimace Arizona expressed when changing positions. Arizona provided an unconvincing nod and earned raised eyebrows from Callie. "It's worse by that look."

"Just the one on my side; I'm wondering if it's getting infected."

"I'll check it out after we eat something, you really need some food."

Although Arizona probably wouldn't admit it, she couldn't quite remember the last time she sat down and ate a proper nutritious or even filling meal. It was likely back when they were away at the vineyard, the last time she really felt relaxed and in control. Since then, she had tried to eat a little, just a piece of fruit here and there and endless cups of coffee. Anything else just made her feel nauseous and it was an effort to swallow even the smallest of bites. "Did you pick up maple syrup?"

"Yep, I put it on the side, just how you like it."

"Thanks, it looks awesome, Calliope." Slowly Arizona picked at her breakfast, taking her time while Callie settled next to her and flicked the television on, easily inhaling her similar plateful; though she had her syrup poured over the bacon and soaking into the fluffy, cinnamon flavoured pancakes. Eventually, Arizona admitted defeat, placing the half emptied plate back on the table and sipping at her tea before resting it back. Letting her head drop to the side, she snuggled into Callie's body, slowly working herself closer until she could absorb the warmth. "Is there anything we have to do today?"

"Nope," Callie answered quickly, moving her arm to wrap around Arizona so that her fingers could lightly trail against her arm. "Not at all."

"I wouldn't mind getting out for a while, maybe. If you feel like it."

"Sure, leaving this place for a bit sounds great to me. Somewhere enjoyable that is, not a hospital or police station. Did you have anything in particular you wanted to do?"

Arizona shook her head, nose tapping at the nape of Callie's neck. "Anything would be good, a movie or a drive. Wandering around a mall or having coffee, lunch somewhere. Whatever you feel like."

"Hmmm, I don't know. I'm easy."

"Flexible Callie, you're flexible."

"Huh?" Callie shook her head in confusion and Arizona gave a small childish giggle.

"You're not _easy_; my girlfriend isn't allowed to be _easy_." Callie spontaneously laughed, rolling her eyes.

"That's terrible Arizona, really not that funny."

"Oh come on, you said it." They both laughed nonchalantly, with Callie maintaining a telling smirk. "So, you make the decision," Arizona added after a few moments. "I don't mind what we do."

"Well, I want to check that wound first of all, I did think we might need to pick up that second antibiotic prescription. It was a bit optimistic to think the IV ones and a short course would be enough."

Arizona nodded her agreement. "Yeah, I know. It was getting a red last night, probably more so now. I felt it a bit overnight, but it clearly didn't keep me awake."

"No temp?" Callie asked, reaching across her body to palm Arizona's forehead. "Not that I can really tell using my hand, but it worked for my mother when I was growing up. That said, I reckon it was a scam, just a way to convince us that we were fine and to go to school."

"You wanted days off?"

"God yeah, didn't you?"

Arizona pondered the question for a moment. "Not really, actually not at all. I liked school, mostly. Well, I liked learning anyway."

"I didn't, how I ended up in med school is a genuine miracle. I used to skip classes and go hang out with boys; spending my weekends drinking and smoking whatever we could get our hands on. Of course, my parents always thought I was studying at a friend's house. They never checked."

"How did you get through college?"

"Oh I settled down, still drank like a sailor but tended to go to class and study. I have to admit, I probably didn't have to work quite as hard as some of my friends."

"Lucky you," Arizona acknowledged, squirming slightly before settling back into Callie, draping an arm across her abdomen. "I had to work pretty hard, or I thought I did, anyway. Although I did like college much more than high school, I actually got to settle down and not move all the time. And you know, being gay wasn't the gossip of campus like it was at school."

"Oh yeah," Callie said, mouth ajar for a moment. "I completely forget about that sometimes, that you had that teenage sexuality experience."

Arizona chuckled. "As compared to the hetero teenage sexuality experience?"

"Good point. No, you know what I mean."

"I do."

"Was it crappy? When you were around the fifteen, sixteen age?"

Considering the question, Arizona splayed her fingers and dipped them under Callie's shirt; resting her open palm against the smooth, warm skin. "Sort of, maybe, at times. I only told a few people at my two last schools, we had to move when I was almost sixteen so people knew at that school and then I had to start again. I tried to keep it a secret, but I sucked at pretending. I would go to parties and some horny boy would try and feel me up and I would just disappear. Always a good look, running out of a house of drunken teenagers with people yelling after me. I let them think for ages that I just wasn't, you know, _up for it_."

"That has to be pretty hard, right. Trying to pretend that you're someone you're not, particularly at that age."

"Yeah I guess. You know as well as I do, that realising or identifying as gay or bi, or whatever it might be, isn't easy. The age isn't particularly relevant."

"Yeah fair point. It did go swimmingly for me."

Arizona laughed; Callie had been more than vocal about her experience with Erica. Not to mention the family dramas that eventually ensued, Arizona had certainly witnessed most of that. "My family were good, not at all surprised. Tim was excellent, amazing. He was the first person I actually told."

"Must have been a relief for your family to be supportive."

"Yeah, definitely. Tim was just concerned that I might take girls away from him, he thought I was too much competition."

Grinning, Callie continued to rhythmically run her thumb over Arizona's arm, tenderly stroking the soft surface. "Too true," she murmured, dipping her chin to press a kiss into Arizona's hair, tangled from sleep. "So you never really dated boys or men, did you?"

"No," Arizona answered. "Bar a few in high school, not really. I just wasn't interested. It wasn't really until college that I even saw women; a few drunk kisses with other girls in school doesn't quite equate to dating."

"I miss, that I missed that, you know; if that makes sense? I wonder if I had even considered, or had been taught that being a lesbian was a possibility, I just, I don't know. I wonder if I would have more orientated that way or not. I realise I can't turn back time, but I do wonder. I'm not sure the thought ever crossed my mind, until I was almost in that thing with Erica. Even then, it was others that suggested it, not me."

"It's hard, I think, much harder for you. Being raised to have only one option, so that there isn't an option really. It's unfair, cruel; I hate that people are raised that way. Even it if is under the guise of religion, I still struggle with the idea that children and young people are taught that who they are, isn't enough. They have to be someone, some way, not matter what cost."

Callie nodded slowly, blinking away a brief swell of emotion. When it came to her family, who she was would never be enough. "I found that the most difficult," Callie murmured, tone low and husky. "That being who I was, being who I am, meant losing my family."

Curling her fingers tighter against Callie's stomach, Arizona rolled her head to kiss Callie's clavicle, chin pressed into the curve of her breast. "I know," she whispered, "I hate what they did to you."

"Yeah, me too."

"No wonder we're due for a change in…something. Luck, maybe?"

Callie smiled. "Mmmm, definitely some change in luck. Though I think we find a way to make our own luck. And I think things are going to get better, we'll make them better."

"You think?"

"Yep, I know they are."

"How, Call?"

"We'll find a way; we will definitely find a way. I'll make sure of it."

* * *

><p>Sitting outside in a small, cement courtyard, Emily squinted into the bright sun. Yellow dots splattering across the blue sky as a few potted palms swayed in the breeze. She held a cigarette to her lips, butt held between her middle and index finger. Drawing in a long inhalation, she breathed out through her nose, smoke burning the inside of her nostrils.<p>

She didn't really smoke; not for years. But the medication numbed her senses; each movement was a second more delayed than usual and each blink, prolonged. She remembered the feeling, from years before.

The nothingness.

People talked to her, other patients; staff. Tangential mutterings that infiltrated her ears but not her mind. The messages were lost somewhere, between misfiring neurons and fictitious voices.

Who could distinguish between real and pretend?

She wondered briefly, if the blond haired, blue-eyed woman was just a figment of her imagination. Someone she concocted in the years of clarity, when she lost the numbness and reengaged with the world.

Had any of it been real?

* * *

><p>"Right," Callie stated, sliding in to the drivers' seat and squashing her large, soft leather handbag next to Arizona's feet on the passenger side. "I realise we're going via a drug store, but that would be on our way to where, exactly?"<p>

Arizona laughed lightly, slowly drawing the seatbelt across her body and clicking it into place. "I don't know, it's just a gorgeous day. Take me for a drive somewhere…anywhere, I'm sure we'll be able to pick up a coffee and sit in a park in the sun for a while."

"Okay, sounds good to me…I might need a coffee first though, is that okay?"

"Oh yeah, I think we can afford two." Arizona grinned and Callie nodded eagerly, a multiple coffee day, was always a good day.

"Excellent," Callie agreed, securing her own restraint and reversing the car slowly out of the car park in the compact, underground car park. They wound their way up two levels before swiping their room card and waiting for the gate to open. "You're not too sore for sitting in the car? We could have brought a cushion or pillow."

Arizona shook her head. "No, I'm okay. I did take a couple of brufen before we left," she elaborated quietly; some habits, including a fierce independence, were hard to break.

"Good idea," Callie encouraged after a moment hesitation. "I think I have some more in my bag if you need them later."

"Travelling pharmacy that you are."

Grinning, Callie nodded. "I just like to be prepared."

"Hey," Arizona asked after a few minutes of quietly staring out the window as they wound their way through the busy, city streets. "Have you heard from Mark at all? I had a call and some texts from Teddy yesterday, but she said Mark wasn't on shift."

Callie nodded, keeping her eyes firmly on the road in front of her. "Yeah I have, not a lot though. He checked in late yesterday arvo and said he was on his way to have a drink with Derek." Laughing, Callie shrugged. "Then I had a couple of texts late, almost midnight, I think he was a little drunk."

"A little?" Arizona prompted, smiling. "Do I ask?"

"You should look on my phone, it was pretty funny. It was some rambling message about how much he loves me and our friendship and then he must have thought more, and sent like three more messages saying that he loved you as well. _You and your girl_, I think he phrased it."

Arizona laughed easily. "Must have been a big night, which is a bit unlike Derek isn't it?"

"Eh," Callie shrugged, "not really. The old, not so attached Derek, anyway."

"You know, I can't say Mark has really been my favourite person since I started here but sometimes, particularly recently, I do see what it is that you see in him. He's been…good."

"Yeah, he really does have some good points. And look, I'm not stupid, I get the macho image and the whole persona he has around women. But when you dig a bit, get behind all that crap, he really would go into bat if someone needed it. He just needs to settle down, grow up. But he is male."

"Major character flaw," Arizona agreed, smirking.

"Oooo, harsh. I like it."

"Must have been an interesting place over the years, different dynamics. The hospital is very…insular."

"Incestuous?"

"Well, that wasn't the term I was going to use." Arizona shared a glance with Callie, both of them laughing and for the briefest of moments; Callie caught a spark in Arizona expression. Her laugh lines were creasing and there was something more genuine in her face, a bit of colour was helping as well. And the natural light they had been missing for a few days. "Besides, it's not like we're any different."

"It's hard though isn't it? To be with a non-medical person. Who the hell else would put up with our crap hours, on call, long days? I mean, you go to bed next to me but half the time you wake up to just cold sheets."

"Oh yeah, absolutely. And vice versa; though I think you definitely get called in more than me; all those traumas and displaced limbs."

"And I really have to say, finding a hot female Doctor, not an easy task."

"I managed okay," Arizona murmured, holding a hand out and pushing gently at Callie's shoulder.

Callie deliberately pondered, steering wheel in one fist whilst she held a finger to her lips. "I seem to recall you not being particularly keen."

"I was keen!" Arizona defended quickly.

"Mmmm? You rejected me if I'm remembering correctly, don't try and reframe how it all went down. Newborn, right? You called me a newborn."

"That didn't mean I wasn't keen, a little self protective perhaps. Besides, then you walked up to me in the middle of Joe's and told me off. It was amazing, right then, in that moment; I figured out that you and I were going out on a date. Any girl that had that kind of heart was someone I had to get to know."

"I did interrupt your date with…Jenny? Jacqui? Tom?"

Arizona laughed. "Julie? Maybe. I don't know, it was only a date, a few hours in fact. She wasn't my type, the hotness that is Calliope Torres already had my attention."

"It's strange isn't it, how things turn out?" Callie asked, slowly pulling in to a small group of stores, down a side street and short, wide driveway.

"What's strange?" Arizona asked, suddenly aware that they had turned off the main route to the freeway.

"Just how some people have these nice, carefree, no drama relationships - that's clearly not us."

"Clearly," Arizona confirmed, taking a deep breath and tucking some loose strands of hair behind her hair. "Ah," she said after a moment, pointing at the windscreen. "Drug store and decent coffee, how did you know this was here?"

Callie laughed lightly. "I used to go to this sunrise yoga class out here, it was insane. An hour long and then a half hour meditation; as you can imagine, by the end I was craving caffeine. And this was the closest, not to mention on the way back to work, which I was usually rushing to. They use those really nice organic beans that you get all the time near home."

Arizona smiled and nodded, unfastening her belt and reaching for the door handle. She was quiet all of a sudden, closing the door behind her and waiting for Callie to click the lock button on the remote before following her inside. Callie handed over the prescription and patiently waited, keeping an eye on Arizona as she wandered around the store and selected a few items. She returned after a few minutes, handing a lip gloss, a small box of hair ties and two purse packs of tissues to the cashier where Callie was about to pay.

"Anything else?" Callie asked.

"Ummm, no; I think I'm good."

"That's it, thank you," Callie confirmed and handed over a bill before pocketing the change. "Okay, coffee for the car, beautiful girl?" Arizona nodded and slipped her hand into Callie's as they walked out, trailing slightly behind as they went through the single door. "I think we need something sweet to snack on, what do you think?"

"Sure," Arizona appeased, though her stomach was still working at digesting the food she had consumed for breakfast.

"Maybe a couple of things to share? You can feed me in the car or I'll probably end up dropping it or wearing it. Or both."

"Okay."

Callie narrowed her eyes, leading Arizona to a display cabinet of various cakes, slices and muffins. "Are you not feeling well?"

Softening her voice and smiling, Arizona squeezed Callie's hand. "I'm fine; just thinking. But let's choose some stuff and order; we can keep the extras for later."

Callie nodded, stealing glances at Arizona as she ordered their coffees and returned her attention to the display. "Alright, so many options," she murmured, releasing Arizona's hand and draping it over her shoulder before kissing her temple lightly. "White chocolate cupcake, yes? You always want a white chocolate cupcake…"

Nodding, Arizona agreed. "Please."

"What else?"

"Ummm….something not as sweet. Banana and walnut bread?"

"Far too healthy, but definitely. Then a caramel slice to have afterwards...And, maybe a couple of cookies, just because we can?"

"Do it," Arizona instructed, scanning for anything else that particularly extracted an appetite from her. She knew that Callie was strategically trying to get some food, if not nutrition in to her. Each item of clothing that Arizona put on was literally falling off her frame, ribs starting to jut out and hip bones easily detected under Callie's gentle touch. "And a truffle," she whispered into Callie's ear, earning the wide grin she was seeking.

Back in the car within moments, goods carefully placed in Styrofoam containers and coffee in hand, Callie started the car before staring expectantly at Arizona. "Are you forgetting something, Arizona?"

"Ah…" Arizona deliberated for a moment, misinterpreting Callie's expression.

"Do I not get a bite of your cupcake?"

Arizona physically gasped, placing a hand on her chest as she tried to catch her breath she wasn't aware she was holding. "Sorry," she muttered, shaking her head at herself in disbelief. "I don't know what happened then. I don't know what I thought you were going to say." Arizona's mind was still back, to the brief mention of home. A word; a concept said in passing which had elicited an anxiety that she could barely understand.

Reaching across the centre console, Callie curled her hand and ran the back of her fingers down Arizona's cheek. She waited silently, holding out until Arizona gradually met her eyes. "Talk, drive, eat or a combination of all three?"

"I'm sorry; I'm fine, really."

"Drive and talk then?" Callie murmured lightly and Arizona nodded in response, trying to smile through her glassy eyes.

They drove in silence, sipping only at the biodegradable cups as the busy, car filled freeway gradually turned into a quieter, tree lined road. Arizona held the cupcake in her hand, oblivious to the time that passed, lost somewhere between taking a bite and offering Callie a segment.

Clearing her throat, Arizona took two attempts to clearly form words in her tightened oesophagus. "I can't go home."

Callie absorbed the words silently, having waited patiently for Arizona to find her voice. "Can't?" she questioned, softly.

"Or, or I don't, want to. "

Nodding, Callie turned her head to quickly smile at Arizona before returning her eyes to the road. "Okay, no problems. Doesn't bother me, we can move whenever and wherever you like."

"Really?"

"Yeah, you know, I'm not that keen on heading back. We can sell or sublet it out, find somewhere new. It's just an apartment."

Arizona's chest rose and fell as she worked to even out her breathing. "Really?" she asked again, eyes falling to the cupcake she finally remembered holding.

"Yeah, of course," Callie responded incredulously. "Whatever makes you feel okay, better, happier; me too. That apartment, it's not important. God, at all, actually. Don't look so worried, Arizona."

Slowly, Arizona's body relaxed, curling back into the car seat and legs extending. "Sometimes I can't believe I found you."

Callie grinned and held out her hand, laughing when Arizona dropped a large chunk of cake in her palm. "I was expecting your hand, but this I will take," she said, filling her mouth and moaning in delight. "So good…maybe we can move closer to that coffee place! But I'm not doing sunrise yoga, never again."

* * *

><p>The starched white sheet had been knotted and plaited into a thick rope. Strong; unforgiving.<p>

The desk chair provided a small step, placed precariously at the edge of the shower cubical.

A hospital gown, in faded mauve glory had been torn into long strips. Twisted tightly around her wrists, secured behind her back. Limbless.

As the chair tumbled away, it fractured against the smooth tiled wall. Metal groaned and voices muffled. Silent screams thundered bursting eardrums, blood vessels haemorrhaging.

Plaster crumbled and the metal buckled, a plummeting collection of debris amongst the shower floor. Hot water flowed from the faucet and steam smoked the room.

Silence echoed amongst the limp, lifeless body on the floor.

* * *

><p><strong>Tbc...<strong>


	16. Part 15

**AN: Oh I know, this part has taken me forever to write. Just call me slack! :-)**

**Having some formatting issues but hopefully this comes through okay...**

**Cheers, Author's Tune**

* * *

><p>The phone call lasted all of a few minutes, just a few brief and direct sentences passed through invisible communication lines. Callie stared at the wall, every conceivable emotion passing through her mind and body as she gathered the silent courage to play the messenger. To take the information she was harshly provided with and somehow communicate it to Arizona; preferably with sensitivity and gentleness.<p>

Walking slowly towards the closed bathroom door, Callie stared at her bare feet, bright crimson toenails looking back at her. She hesitated, hands poised on her hips as she frustratingly shook her head. She could already picture the image inside, Arizona's marked body beneath the bubbles that would be on the surface of the over filled bath. She would have her eyes closed and head tilted back against the porcelain, wet strands of hair stuck to her neck and the ends floating where the water lapped over her chest.

Eventually, she knocked softly, not waiting for a response before slowly edging the door open. The scene that greeted her was exactly as she had envisaged, down to the tired blue eyes that blinked open at her. "Were you snoozing?" Callie asked, pushing the door closed behind her before making her way to the edge of the bath and kneeling on the white cotton mat covering the cool tiles.

"Mmm," Arizona murmured with a flash of embarrassment. "Maybe a little." She observed Callie silently as she trailed her fingers through the water, nails just lightly tapping at the skin of Arizona's stomach. "Is everything okay?" she asked, shifting her weight slightly in the water.

Callie nodded absently, and then quickly shrugged. She slid her hand further until her palm rested flat against Arizona's side and leant forward, pressing her lips to Arizona's. She barely moved, just holding the contact for a few seconds longer than she knew she should before leaning her forehead into Arizona's.

"What is it?" Arizona whispered, voice barely audible despite their proximity.

Again, lingering a moment longer than was comfortable, Callie finally pulled back. Her dark eyes were glazed and transparent, cheeks sullen. "I just had a phone call, sweetie."

"A phone call?" Arizona prompted.

"Yeah, from the police, one of the detectives that you made the statement to."

"Right. Right, okay, what? By the look on your face, she's been released?"

"No," Callie responded quickly, shaking her head. "It's not that." Seeking out Arizona's hand, Callie entwined their fingers, soap suds and bath oil softening the skin she pressed her palm into. "Arizona, Emily died today. She suicided."

Few words could describe the response she received, an almost nothingness. Arizona's eyes bore back into Callie's, fingers flaccid and just a barely detectible twitch of her right cheek. Her breathing quickened, the rise and fall of her chest moving the water before she slowed and blinked with quick succession.

"Did you hear me," Callie asked eventually, squeezing at the limp hand in her own.

Arizona nodded, mouth slightly agape. Minutes passed and her eyes still stared at Callie, though her mind was elsewhere entirely, a void of blank darkness.

"I think we should get you out, hey? In to bed for a while."

Callie tugged at Arizona's hand, slipping a hand around her shoulders and trying to lean Arizona forward; she remained heavy and unmoving. "What did you say?" Arizona hoarsely asked, voice distant and unfamiliar.

"Emily's dead, Arizona." Years of training kicked in, using words that sounded harsh but were real. It was important to minimise any confusion in Arizona's processing mind, the survival instinct that was elicited just as it had so many times before with every raised fist and drunken slur. "She's dead," Callie repeated.

"She can't be," Arizona whispered, moving to hold a wet hand over her mouth.

Callie resisted the urge to either celebrate Emily's demise and the end of their horrific ordeal once and forever or, to express the anger that was simmering just below the surface. The bitterness she felt at the control Emily had ensured she had until the very end. "I didn't expect it either," Callie offered softly, inadvertently catching Arizona's side with her grasp and eliciting an involuntary wince. Again, wide eyes stared back at her, fingertips trembling. "It's okay." Even to Callie, the words sounds inadequate as soon as they left her mouth, but she didn't know what else to say or how else to say it.

Drawing her legs up, Arizona folded her body forward until her face pressed into her knees, slipping out of Callie's lingering touch to wrap her arms around her shins. "_Oh my God,_" she muttered.

Using the edge of the tub as leverage, Callie tugged the warm, woollen socks off her feet and balanced before stepping into the bath behind Arizona. Water tumbled over the edge as she lowered herself, lounge pants and loose t-shirt soaking against her skin. She shadowed Arizona's position, encasing her from behind and pressing her face into the side of her neck. "It's all _fucked_."

Arizona nodded in response, position unchanged. "How?" she asked after a minute, a cool shiver exposing goose bumps down her arms. "How did she do it?"

Callie cleared her throat. "She hung herself. In the bathroom, at the psych unit."

Tilting her head back, Arizona released a low moan. "She shouldn't have, she should have been on suicide watch. How could they let it happen? They should have been watching her."

"It's not that simple."

Turning, Arizona met Callie's intense gaze, barely registering the constant tender touch on her face, arms, and legs. "I shouldn't have…we shouldn't. What have I done? What did I do to her?"

"No, no no. No way, Arizona. Please don't do this, this was her decision. This was her choice, not yours."

"Choice?" Arizona questioned incredulously.

"Well it wasn't yours, in any way shape or form. This wasn't your fault. Not one tiny intsy bit of this is your fault."

"Calliope…" It was almost a desperate plea, a child offering a final, desperate appeal, before she moulded her foetal form into Callie's. Eventually, as the water chilled and the night air became cooler, she allowed herself to be guided from small bathtub and slowly dried. She was painfully quiet and helpless, starting to dry her hair before finding herself in chaotic thoughts and losing time. The same with getting dressed, a pair of panties and pyjama pants donned before discovering herself staring into the mirror, camisole in hand. She barely resisted when Callie took over, having hastily dried and dressed herself, wet clothes left on the shower floor for dealing with in the morning.

Arizona barely uttered a word all night, blankly staring into the darkness and only murmuring internal thoughts at times that made little sense. She didn't push Callie away nor did she actively seek her touch, though each time Callie shifted her weight, Arizona turned as if expecting to see her back as she walked away.

Of course, staying, was the only thought on Callie's mind.

* * *

><p>Opposite Callie, Mark sat silently on a bar stool, one elbow on the wooden chair back and the other, raking through his hair. Callie was staring back at him, hands gesturing wildly in the air as she described the trauma of disclosing to Arizona, Emily's death. Her eyes were wide and untamed, having managed to contain her growing resentment overnight, until she could have Teddy stay with Arizona whilst she met Mark for lunch. "I just can't conceptualise, Mark, how she could do this. I mean, Arizona has just, literally, just taken some control back and this is the outcome? How is Arizona meant to deal with it? She's already blaming herself, I know that and I know her, she's going to be thinking about what the lunatic has done and how she could have prevented it. Emily couldn't just face up to the <em>fucking<em> music, take some responsibility for what she's done. No, no way, not a chance. The gutless piece of crap, how dare she have the last word. That was meant to be Arizona, Arizona was meant to have the final say, at least then she might have actually been able to heal a little. God." Callie was continually shaking her head and waving her hands in the air, fists forming and then frustratingly being released.

Mark shrugged, mirroring her negative head movements. "I can see why you're pissed, I seems, I don't know. I was pretty surprised."

"Oh, and the stupid Detective that phoned was all about how this was some kind of reasonable outcome. That Arizona could just forget it all now; I thought better of mentioning that part."

"You can see where she's coming from I suppose, not very PC though."

"There's hardly a positive in this, it's a bit of a bloody stretch. Don't get me wrong, the fact that, that sorry for an excuse of a human is dead isn't bad, but like this? Having such an impact on Arizona, it's…cowardly."

Mark nodded, reaching forward and briefly squeezing Callie's wrist before her hand was pulled abruptly away. "Callie," he murmured gently, expression emitting empathy.

"Don't," Callie responded, gritting her teeth and looking away from Mark, focussing on the wall to the left of her. "I don't want to be upset. I want to be angry; I want to hate that…shit of a woman."

"Mmm, yeah. Hate her all you want, I certainly don't care. But don't pretend with me hey, we're well past that."

Holding a closed hand to her lips, Callie tapped the tensed knuckles against her mouth. An audible wheeze of air was exhaled through her nose. "How could she kill herself, Mark? How?" she rhetorically asked, voice muffled by her fingers.

Again, Mark shrugged. "She wasn't thinking about Arizona, Callie. She was thinking about herself and nothing else. Or maybe not even thinking at all; if she had any interest in the impact of her actions on others, she would have pissed off long ago."

After a few moments of silence, Callie's eased her movements and allowed her arms to fall back on to the small table that lay between them. Her shoulders visibly relaxed and her chest more open as she swallowed heavily. "I suppose I should be happy, right? It's not like she'll ever hurt Arizona again now."

"Well yeah, but like you said, she's made sure to have one bloody crack of a final impact."

"What am I meant to say to her? How can I possibly make this okay?"

Mark smiled slightly. "Magic wand?"

"Not funny, Mark," Callie countered quickly, though she managed a half smile before lowering her head to the table and groaning. "I am so exhausted."

"No sleep last night, hey?" Mark asked gently, scratching lightly at Callie's scalp with his fingertips.

"No," she muttered, unmoving.

"Can I do anything?"

"I don't know," Callie scraped out, gradually lifting her face to expose tear filled eyes. "Tell me what to do?"

"Talk with her Call, you know what to do. As much as I enjoy bossing you around, you don't need me telling you how to support your girlfriend."

"All last night, she had this vacant look on her face. She barely spoke to me, not to mention barely moved. It was like she was there, but not really."

"She's in shock; it's pretty understandable isn't it?"

"I guess so, I mean, it's not like I expected her to be relieved or happy or anything. But the silence freaks me out."

"That's blondie isn't it? Working through everything in her head first?"

Callie hesitated slightly, blinking at Mark before opening her mouth to speak and then closing it again. She smiled slightly, aware of the tears that burned at her lower eyelids. "How do you manage to do that? You know all this stuff about people and just cruise along, keeping it to yourself."

Laughing, Mark shrugged and eased his chair back, standing. He straightened his shirt, tugging it away from his abdomen and smoothing the hem over the black belt that secured his jeans to his hips. "I take notice of people, some observational skills are useful every now and then." Drawing a twenty dollar bill from his back pocket, he placed it on the table, edging an empty glass over the corner before stepping to the side of Callie.

"Where are we going?" Callie asked softly, eyes wide as Mark held a hand out to her, palm up.

Indicating to the door with his head, Mark said, "out of here. Let's pick up some sushi from across the road and go sit somewhere quiet." He was reluctant to say that he had watched Callie force tears away three times during their short, fifteen minute conversation and that he wasn't sending her away without a few unfiltered moments. Those unguarded, expressive minutes that were so characteristic of Callie and integral to her capacity to manage, to keep going. There were many little things that he knew about her too, they hadn't been friends for so long that he hadn't picked up a few useful cues.

Placing her hand into Mark's, Callie nodded her agreement. "Okay," she murmured, collecting her handbag from where it hung over the cover of her chair back. Fingers tightened around hers as Mark led her out; she squeezed them back.

* * *

><p>With her cell phone held between her ear and shoulder, Teddy stood in Callie and Arizona's hotel room, waiting patiently for the kettle to boil. Callie was on the other end of the line, quietly letting her know that she would be another hour or so, and checking in, for her own piece of mind then anything else.<p>

"Yeah, fine Callie," Teddy said quietly. "I'm not getting anything out of her, but she's okay. Not upset or anything."

"She's not talking?"

"Well, no, not really. She's not _not talking_, she's just quiet and distant. Sickeningly polite," she added with a slight chuckle.

"Same as last night and this morning. So, you're good to stay for a little longer?"

"Of course, just making us a cup of tea."

"I'm sure Arizona would be fine if you need to go, I'm probably just being over protective, smothering."

Teddy laughed lightly again. "She did mention that."

"What?" Callie questioned, voice serious.

"I'm kidding Callie, just go have lunch with Mark. Arizona is alright, I'm good to stay for as long as needed or wanted. Stop worrying."

"It's my job to worry."

"Yes it is, but there's nothing to worry about, right at this moment in time. Got that?"

Teddy could see Callie rolling her eyes at Mark and having a smile inadvertently escape her lips. "Very good, I'll go out and get blind drunk then. See you tomorrow?" she joked with Teddy.

"Oh yeah, go for it. Have an extra shot of tequila for me."

"Great, glad we got that covered. Always good to have a conversation with you Teddy," she said easily, voice losing some of the heaviness she was carrying. "I'll see you soon, anything you need just phone."

"No problems."

They quickly hung up and Teddy went back to staring at the cool mugs, tea bags waiting expectantly for the water to boil. She liked Callie, though her initial impressions on arrival at Seattle Grace Mercy West, were that she was a formidable presence. It had surprised her, as she had gotten to know Arizona more, that Callie was far more caring and empathic then she had assessed her to be. And in turn, that Arizona could be just as stubborn and firey, though nicely concealed by a more relaxed and cheery persona.

Heading back to the sofa, where Arizona was staring blankly at the television, Teddy placed a mug of steaming tea in front of her. She earned a small smile and brief eye contact in return. "Thanks," Arizona murmured softly.

"Pleasure," Teddy said, smiling as she sat down, drawing her legs up and folding them under her. "Callie phoned, she'll just be another hour or so."

Arizona nodded. "Sure. You really don't have to stay you know."

Shrugging, Teddy offered a sheepish expression. "Callie might kill me if I leave," she said, though quickly wincing at her poor choice in phrasing though Arizona didn't seem to notice.

"I can handle Calliope," Arizona confirmed, leaning back with both hands wrapped around the white mug.

"Nah, I'm fine to stay if that's alright with you. I don't want to intrude."

Arizona shook her head. "You're not," she murmured. "It's nice to have some company."

Watching Arizona for a moment, Teddy interpreted that statement as genuine and Arizona, though quiet, didn't seem annoyed at Teddy's presence. "Good," she replied softly, smiling. They sat in silence for a few minutes, distractedly watching a day time talk show before Teddy finally interrupted. "So," she began gently, deliberately pausing for Arizona to bring her gaze to meet hers. "If I ask you how you're really doing, will you answer?"

"That probably depends on what you expect the answer to be," Arizona replied eventually, voice low and soft.

She elicited a confused expression from Teddy. "I'm not sure I'm expecting anything specific…am I missing something?"

"I just figure everyone is, or will be, waiting for something from me," Arizona explained slowly. "I'm just not sure what that is."

"Oh," Teddy acknowledged, nodding her head. "Well, I can assure you, I have absolutely no expectations. When I ask how you're doing, I'm actually asking. Not just seeing if you fit the answer I've already got."

Arizona managed a small smile, tipping the tea to her lips and swallowing a mouthful. "So if I said that I wanted to crack a bottle of wine and drink until we danced around the room, you would be good with that?"

Grinning, Teddy shrugged; Arizona and Callie shared an uncannily similar sense of humour. "Why not? I'm sure Callie would be super thrilled with me, but hey, you said you could handle her."

"You're crazy Teddy," Arizona murmured. "It's just gone midday, not exactly _get drunk o'clock_."

"It's okay to be a little crazy sometimes, helps us get through the day."

"Yeah, as long as it does, right? "

"Oh, sorry Arizona. I didn't mean that, at all actually. Probably won't be the first insensitive thing I say by mistake."

Arizona reached out and tapped lightly at Teddy's arm, drawing her hand back to her own lap quickly. "It's alright, don't stress."

After lapsing into silence for a minute, Teddy leant forward and placed her half full cup on a small, stained coffee table. "You didn't answer me, you know? About how you're doing."

"Because I don't really have answer; I wish I did."

Nodding, Teddy waited for Arizona to elaborate, though not particularly surprised when she retreated back into her own thoughts. "I would think it's pretty normal to be anything at all, maybe angry or something like that. Angry at her, or at the system."

"Yeah, I guess. Callie's angry I think, but she hasn't said much. Hopefully she's talking to Mark today."

"You're not?"

"Not particularly," Arizona replied, leaning an elbow on the back of the sofa and resting her head against her palm, fingers tangling through day old curls. "I wish I was, might be easier."

"Easier than?"

"Than what I'm thinking about…feeling."

"Mmm?" Teddy questioned, the intonation at the end of her murmur gently encouraging.

Arizona forced a smile. "I don't really want to talk about it, thanks though. I know that's why you're here." A lump swelled in her throat and she swallowed heavily against it. She wasn't sure she had cried since Callie crouched in front of her and told her that her ex-partner, the woman she had once loved and despised with equal fervour, had suicided. And the first sign of bubbling emotion sent her withdrawing again, fighting against the inevitable tumble of tears that would come with the smallest of prompts.

"Like you said, hopefully Callie is talking with Mark, working through this pretty horrific time. I guess it's something you can do yourself, hey?"

Arizona snapped her eyes shut, holding them closed for a moment; knuckles white as her hand involuntarily grasped at the handle of the mug. "I'm just trying to, I don't know, get through this."

"And from where I'm sitting, for what it's worth, you are getting through this. Where you've come, to get to here…it's just another step. Maybe the last in this insane story."

"I feel like I should be happy, relieved. But I'm not," Arizona scraped out, syllables disjointed and with husky tightness.

"Seems reasonable to me, I wouldn't imagine this is how you wanted things to work out."

"I never wanted her to die."

Teddy sighed and nodded, reaching across the space between them on the sofa to take the tea from Arizona's shaking grasp. "You're not the kind of person that wants people to die, Arizona. That's not you."

"I did want it over though, I wanted her to go away and for it all to stop. I should have known …you all wanted me to push her, to get the police and court involved. I know her; I knew her. I should have seen this happening; she couldn't lose. She couldn't…" Arizona said, trailing off as she covered her face with both hands. Her shoulders quivered as she held her breath, silently trying to contain her tears.

Teddy glanced around the room, the neutral hotel walls with their cheap prints bearing witness. "This isn't your fault," Teddy murmured, voice quieter than she intended.

"Yes, it is. If it's not my fault, than whose is it?"

"Emily's," Teddy stated immediately, not a glimpse of hesitation.

Arizona released a stifled sob.

"Emily's," Teddy repeated, even stronger this time. She leant forward, uncurled and placing her weight on her feet, scooting across the couch. "Because," she began to elaborate, fingers coiling around Arizona's wrist. "Because one time, years ago, she took away your safety for the first time. She reacted and slapped you across the face, or pushed you against the wall. Then she did it a hundred more times. That's why she ended up, in the place she did. Where she didn't see any other out."

"She could have gotten better."

"And you could have helped her?" Teddy asked, breathing a sigh of relief when Arizona shook her head. "She chose her path a long time ago; you didn't do anything wrong."

Dropping her hands, Arizona bowed her head and cried, shoulders trembling as she tightened her fingers around Teddy's palm. "She hung herself in a shower cubicle…I can't get the image out of my head. I see it, I see her every time I close my eyes."

"Yeah," Teddy whispered. "That I get. There're some things I see too, they take a long time to go away." She squeezed Arizona's fingers and wrapped an arm around the back of the sofa; thumb stroking the curve of Arizona's shoulder.

"I don't know how to tell Calliope…" Arizona murmured after a few minutes quietly crying.

"Tell her what?"

"That I want to go to her funeral."

Teddy caught her breath sharply, delaying a second before answering. "She'll understand," Teddy said faintly, though she wasn't at all confident that Callie would.

"She won't."

"You need to try; Callie, she's waiting for you to talk to her. She's scared, for you, for both of you; give her a chance, Arizona."

Arizona nodded, tipping her head back and blinking at her slowly drying eyes. "And if she doesn't?"

"Then you and I are going on a trip," Teddy said lightly, forcing a smile and eliciting a slight hum of a laugh from Arizona. "But," she continued, "that partner of yours is insanely supportive, if you give her the chance."

"So stop hiding?" Arizona tearfully asked, chuckling.

"Meh," Teddy muttered, drawing both of her hands back and shrugging. "Just communicate with Callie. Stop her from panicking."

"Okay," Arizona whispered, wiping at her cheeks. "Okay."

* * *

><p><strong>TBC…<strong>


	17. Part 16

**AN: **Glad you're all still reading away and thank heaps for all the recent alerts and reviews. :-)

**Part 16**

The day was overcast, though the showers of rain they had been having all day had lifted momentarily. Callie and Arizona stood back conspicuously, amongst rows of graves, scatterings of tombstones and small, flat plaques. They each held a name and date of birth, as well as death. Some included inscriptions, incredibly personal messages of love and loss. Emily's burial occurred almost one hundred metres from where Callie and Arizona were quietly on their own, staying out of the way and behind some large oak trees. They had been at the service, although again, slipped in at the last moment and sat silently at the back, retreating before the customary social pleasantries.

It had taken over a week for the funeral to be arranged, delayed because of the process of a determined investigative death. Teddy had actually done the chasing around, waiting for public notice of Emily's funeral when her body had been returned interstate to her aging parents. Callie had been more than vocal about her respect for Arizona's wishes, but under no circumstances was she spending precious energy scouring online newspapers. She had however, quickly booked flights and arranged accommodation and car hire when Teddy gave her the details. She couldn't pretend that this was something that was important to her, but there was no question of her willingness to do whatever Arizona needed. So if spending hours on a plane and using an extra few days of leave from work, then it was a small price to pay for Arizona's happiness.

Of which was slowly returning, even in one short week. Arizona had started requesting they go out for meals and she wanted to walk on the street, down public paths and across town. She didn't spend every spare minute looking over her shoulder or into windows of passing cars. There had even been moments of humour from Arizona, blue eyes that seemed to have recaptured just a little of their spark. It wasn't always, but it was more than the last few months.

"I booked our flight back tonight," Callie murmured into Arizona's ear, standing behind her and with both arms wrapped protectively around her. "But I can change them if you want, there's no huge rush to get back."

"No, I don't want to stay here," Arizona answered softly, tilting her head back to rest against Callie's shoulder. "What time is our flight?"

"Late, there weren't many options left. I think just before eleven."

"Oh that is late. That's okay. I was thinking that we could drive around a little, I mean this is where I used to live."

"Show me the sights?"

"Not even remotely," Arizona said, smiling. Even with the crowd across the graveyard starting to disperse, Arizona made no indication that she was ready to leave. "But, I wouldn't mind a drive by the hospital and just past where I used to live. If I'm going for closure, then it might be a good idea."

Callie kissed the smooth blond hair. "Sure."

"It's a little bit of a drive from here, maybe forty five minutes or an hour. I can't quite remember," Arizona explained, trying to recall just how far out of the city centre that Emily's family lived. She had only been out a handful of times; Emily had always had a fairly strained relationship with her parents and sister. Not surprisingly she supposed.

"I don't mind the drive. As long as I have Sat Nav, I'm good to go wherever and whenever you're ready."

Arizona nodded, yet folded her arms over Callie's, tightening their hold at her abdomen. "Can we wait?" she asked quietly, after standing in silence for a few minutes. Callie murmured her agreement. "I just want to go over there, once everyone has left. I know, it's not necessary," she explained with a tight shrug. "I know I won't be back, that's all. Probably ever, and I don't really know why I feel like I need to."

Arizona had surprised Callie all day, her tears had been mostly kept at bay and her voice had been stable and hands solid. She hadn't even really retreated into her own thoughts, continuing to talk easily with Callie about everything from the weather to pointing out Emily's relatives and disclosing their dysfunctional relationships. "No problems at all," she answered Arizona, pressing more consecutive kisses to her hair and catching the edge of Arizona's ear.

It elicited the softest of giggles. "Whoops," Arizona said softly, "probably shouldn't laugh in a cemetery. Though," she continued, "at Tim's funeral we blared Billy Joel from Nick, his best mate's car. Nick drove as close as he could and then opened all the doors and turned the volume up. People sang, laughed."

"Billy Joel?" Callie asked, eyebrows raised. "I'm going to assume it wasn't one of his b-sides."

"No, not surprisingly. Piano Man…it was the only song Tim could actually play on a guitar and we had been hearing it at every birthday, Christmas; any family gathering for years."

"Oh that's hilarious."

"It was pretty funny, and completely inappropriate for a funeral. Not to mention there was this elderly family that were going into the chapel for a service just after us. They're filing in, all sombre and we were singing at the top of our lungs, looking like complete wrecks but laughing."

"Funerals are hard, I think. I mean you want to celebrate these incredible lives but you're just devastated. It's so hard to balance."

"Yeah," Arizona agreed, thumbs smoothing over Callie's forearms. "As long as there's a life to celebrate you know. I was kind of impressed by how Emily's sister spoke today, giving the eulogy. She didn't pretend that Emily was perfect; she acknowledged that she was messed up. Damaged."

"Tough not to, given what she did; how she died. But I agree, I mean her sister seems to have her crap together – husband and children."

"I only met her a few times, but she was lovely. Really nice, just calm and gentle. I can't quite remember what she did, but I think she was on campus, teaching maybe something to do with science. I'm not really sure. She once sent me a phone message, text after we visited not long after her first child was born. I had this huge bruise on my neck and it kind of curved up over my jaw, which wasn't quite hidden by a scarf. Anyway, she sent this message that said to phone her at any time, that she could help."

"Wow, you never took her up on the offer?"

Arizona released a soft laugh. "No, my phone was destroyed that afternoon and we never saw Emily's family again after that."

"Isolation at it's best."

"Yeah, that's right. All part of the strategy I suppose." Arizona drew in a deep breath. "But that's over now," she added, voice barely audible.

"It is," Callie confirmed, releasing her grip to turn Arizona to face her. She pursed her lips and lingered a soft kiss to Arizona's cheek before holding her in a tight embrace against her chest. "You want to head over there now? They've all left."

"Yes," Arizona said, taking Callie's hand as they strode slowly through the grassed paths. She took some calming breaths as they came closer, fingers tightening slightly and drifting closer to Callie until their arms brushed. "I do know, that's it's not my fault," Arizona offered quietly. "But I don't know if I will ever not regret pushing things, like I did."

Callie sighed. "Like we did," she murmured. "If you're going to shoulder responsibility, at least share the blame with me."

"That's crazy."

"So is blaming yourself, Arizona."

"I just want to say sorry."

"Excuse me?" Callie questioned, confused.

"To her, I just want to tell her that I'm sorry," Arizona explained, leaning into Callie as they stood a few feet away from where Emily was finally buried just minutes earlier.

Callie shook her head. "I really wish that you didn't feel like you need to do that."

"Me neither, but I do. So, I'm going with the not thinking too much about it and just doing it. Sometimes overthinking just causes more dramas, one of my many flaws."

Callie couldn't help but smile. "Definitely not one of many. In fact, you're so perfect, you make me look completely inadequate in comparison." There was something just a little unpredictable about Arizona though and the calm, almost reflective resolute persona that she was embracing was hardly what Callie expected. The tears, the frustration and even withdrawal over the last few months, let alone Arizona's response at the news Emily had died, really didn't equate to the woman that was holding her hand. It wasn't something that Callie could put her finger on, just a sense. And nothing that was sending alarm bells ringing in her head, just a small awareness.

"We're going to get back on track Call. Like we were planning to, before all this happened. We're going to go home and start moving forward again; I really miss feeling like I'm moving forward."

The sentence kick-started Callie's brain, a thousand successive thoughts in just a few moments; there was nothing she wanted more than to move forward with her relationship with Arizona. Exercising considerable self-restraint, eyes focussed on the fresh mound of fine dirt in front of her, Callie asked, "home?"

"Well, back to the hotel first and I'm not sure I'm ready to go back to our apartment. But back to Seattle, back to work and life; where we belong."

"I still like the idea of a new place, something a little bigger or more spacious. Maybe three bedrooms," Callie said quietly, squeezing Arizona's hand and tapping it against her leg.

"Just the three?" Arizona questioned, the smallest giggle escaping the back of her throat. "Imagine what she would think of us standing here, talking like this," she added after a quiet moment.

Callie shrugged. "Sorry," she offered insincerely.

"Don't be, it's weird, but it makes me feel kind of strong. Not powerful, but something like that. Just that we can stand here or anywhere we like and no one will care if we're holding hands or talking about our life together. We can make plans, talk about anything, anywhere and that's okay."

"In that case, do you want to say what you need to say and we can get started on building this awesome life?" Callie asked and then hesitated, releasing Arizona's hand. "Oh, you might want some privacy for that. I'm not very switched on today."

"No no," Arizona answered quickly, catching the hem of Callie's shirt and pulling her back towards her. "I've said what I need to say," she explained, wrapping an arm around Callie's lower back and nuzzling into her neck slightly. "I'm sorry that she's gone in this way and things ended like they did, but this, you…I'm so not sorry that I can be happy."

"And I," Callie added quietly, "am not even remotely sorry that I did whatever I could, to keep you safe. You know," she started to reminisce after a brief silence, "my father told me what you said to him that day he was in Seattle, about protecting the people you love. I'm glad I could live up to my end of the bargain too, because there's nothing I wouldn't do for you, Arizona."

Glassy eyes met her gaze and Callie lingered a long kiss on Arizona's lips. "Thank you," she murmured in return, so close that her breath tickled Callie's chin. "I love you so much."

"And I, love you."

They remained in a tight embrace for a minute, hands barely moving where they were splayed on each others' back. Arizona eventually raised tear-filled eyes and said, "I'm ready to go."

"Then we go," Callie confirmed, brief chaste kiss before they headed towards the car.

And Arizona didn't look back.

* * *

><p>Surrounded by countless cardboard boxes, precariously balanced in mismatched towers and with oddly shaped objects poking out at all angles, Mark and Teddy joined Callie and Arizona sitting uncomfortably on the polished wooden floor. Three open pizza boxes lay between them with a handful of pieces missing from each box and two bottles of wine were passed regularly between the four of them. The wine glasses were no where easily accessible, so they chose a pack of ten disposable coffee cups that were found at a gas station on one of their many trips between the old apartment and new.<p>

"You do realise that you need to literally build your bed before you can sleep here, right?" Mark asked, stretching out his legs and groaning. "Base and headboard, find linen. All of that."

"I refuse," Callie declared. "I am not lifting another freakin' thing that weighs more than this wine bottle, for at least twelve hours."

"Looks like it's up to you Arizona," Teddy chipped in.

"Not a chance. The mattress on the floor will work just fine for tonight, thank you. Unless either of you two a volunteering to be all build-a-bear on our bedroom."

"Nope," Teddy quickly answered with a grin and a long drink from her makeshift wine glass. "Not me, and I think we broke Mark, so he's out. When did you last lift something heavier than a scalpel anyway, princess?" she bantered with Mark.

"Hey hey, easy up. I've lifted plenty of things…they've been mostly busty blonds but still, provided me with effective cardiovascular and resistance training."

"Mark!" Callie exclaimed, tossing a pizza crust across the haphazard circle at him while Arizona offered an exaggerated shudder.

"Oh, don't you pretend like you don't remember my skills," he said to Callie, laughing as she shook her head, disgusted.

"So not appropriate," Callie hushed in return though Arizona waved a nonchalant hand in the air at them.

"Even I've experienced those skills," Teddy interrupted, "and really, I'm not sure they're anything to write home about, Mark." Stuffing another large bite of pizza into her mouth, she forced a clearly unimpressed expression on her face. "You talk 'em up you know, people have expectations…"

"Oi, alright, that's enough bashing me about for one day. Jeez, tough crowd. I might have better luck with the lesbian than the hetero and bi folk in the room."

Arizona coughed against the wine, half swallowed as Mark loosely made his declaration, pride only momentarily insulted no doubt. "Not on a cold day in hell, Sloan," she stated strongly, placing her cup on the floor next to her and sliding down to lay on her back. She rested her head on Callie's thigh, smiling up at her and chuckling lightly.

"Glad we've covered that, then," Teddy said, laughing. She looked at her watch and grumbled as she rolled her tight shoulders. "I should get going, have to be in surgery at five am for some transfer from bugger knows no where. You have to drop me home though, six pack," she muttered at Mark, who conceded defeat at his apparent new title while the others sniggered loudly.

"That's the guy with the penetrating chest injury, right? Sounds pretty spectacular, I'm on standby for that."

Teddy nodded. "Yep, they can't remove the fishing thing…whatever it is, without a potential aortic tear, so I'm in there unfortunately."

"See," Arizona said as Mark and Teddy started to crawl to their feet, "now you just don't really get that Darwinism stuff in Paeds."

"Spear the fish, not the best mate. You just can't fix stupid," Mark added, rubbing at his stomach. "Thanks for the feed, much appreciated. You two really should actually make a bed you know, I don't think this is the way to christen the first night in your new place."

"Thank you so much for all your help today," Arizona said first and Callie nodded, closing her mouth when Arizona got in first. "We will definitely be taking you both out to dinner at some point, no idea how we would have done it without you."

"Notice how Arizona said, _out to dinner?_ That's because it's going to take us at least a year to actually unpack all the crap we never knew we had."

"Yeah," Teddy responded sarcastically, bag over her shoulder and hand on the door to their apartment. "Good luck with that. See you guys at work on Monday?"

"Yep," Callie said, "except you're on call Sunday night right, Arizona?"

"Unfortunately, only for major crises though. Karev is there for all the appeys and crap."

"I'll let him know you said that! See you guys later," Mark said, waving as they disappeared out the door.

"Thanks again!" Callie called out, releasing a long, low groan as the door clicked back into place. "Oh my God, I am fried."

"I'm fairly sure, now that I've laid down, I'm never actually getting up," Arizona agreed, wincing a half smile.

"I do love our choice though, this place is even bigger than I remembered." In reality it hadn't taken them long to find a new apartment, looking through only a handful before putting an offer in, which was accepted before the end of the day. The delay came with a long settlement though, sixty days rather than the standard thirty. They ended up going back to Callie's place for a few weeks, a purely financial decision in the end. It reinforced that their choice to move was a good one, Arizona had become quickly unsettled there, eliciting a moodiness that was so out of character. And the nightmares returned, sharp and vivid dreams that woke her in the dead of night, breathless and fearful. She finally pleaded with Callie one evening, not to make her stay, face buried in her shoulder and trembling hands reaching for something solid to grip. They moved back to the hotel apartment the next afternoon, and slowly, things crawled back to normality.

"I like it too," Arizona responded softly. "I can't wait to kick back in that spa with you," she added, reaching a hand up to run the length of Callie's jaw with the back of fingers.

"Mmmm, me too."

"I could go a shower actually, I smell something awful." Starting to raise her shoulders off the floor, Arizona was suddenly tugged back to Callie's lap. "Ack, not helping Calliope. You don't want me clean?"

Callie swallowed and smiled, trailing a hand down Arizona's arm and over the back of her hand before entwining their fingers. "You know that you are the most important person in the world to me, right?" she asked quietly.

Arizona's face fell serious. "Yes," she murmured. "Is something wrong?"

"No, not at all. I just, sometimes, I can't believe that I got so lucky. That's all."

"Not as lucky as I got," Arizona countered, squeezing her fingers.

"I know you probably don't want to, but do you remember when we out to the vineyard?"

Nodding, Arizona said, "yeah. I remember, good food and good wine. Sore body and crap news."

Callie smiled. "Yes, something like that. Anyway, I had this whole speech prepared,"

"At the winery?" Arizona interrupted, confused.

"No, not then. Kind of now, but I don't know, I'm not making much sense." She drew in a deep breath. "I love you, Arizona. More than anything and I'm wondering if you would, well, if you would like to be my wife?"

Arizona's jaw relaxed slightly and her mouth fell open. "What?" she gasped, blinking quickly and fixating on Callie's stare.

A diamond ring suddenly appeared in her peripheral vision. "Will you marry me, Arizona?"

* * *

><p><strong>TBC…<strong>


	18. Part 17

**AN: Late night proofread, hope I didn't miss too many things! :-) Thank you so much, always thrilled to hear that you're sticking with me through these final few chapters and some new readers still coming on board. Glad you're enjoying and thanks for your feedback, reviews, pm's and alerts/favs. Much appreciated. **

**Hope everyone is having a fabulous week. **

**Cheers, Author's Tune**

* * *

><p>"<em>I love you, Arizona. More than anything and I'm wondering if you would, well, if you would like to be my wife?"<em>

_Arizona's jaw relaxed slightly and her mouth fell open. "What?" she gasped, blinking quickly and fixating on Callie's stare._

_A diamond ring suddenly appeared in her peripheral vision. "Will you marry me, Arizona?"_

* * *

><p>Slowly, Arizona closed her eyes and moved her body off of Callie's and sat upright. Swivelling around, one leg tucked under her self and the other stretched out behind Callie's back. She blinked consecuritively and silently stared, mouth making small miniscule movements in an attempt to coherently respond. Callie's expression deadpanned, heart rate progressively quickening and she was acutely aware of her developing breathlessness.<p>

"I know that this isn't a fancy restaurant or some elaborately planned proposal with writing in the sky or on a billboard. I had this idea that we would spend a few days unpacking and then I would make you one of your favourite dinners and light candles and I don't know, maybe drop down on one knee. But then you were lying here and Mark and Teddy just left and we have this new place and you were smiling. Laughing; we were relaxed and happy. We _are_ relaxed and happy again, I just feel…so amazing. And it's because of you," Callie realised that she was rambling, speech gaining momentum and words tumbling out hurriedly and intermitted by sharp intakes of air. "But I get, I totally get if it's too soon or feels rushed. I don't mean to rush you, okay. I should think about this more, I mean not think about this exactly. Just the proposal part, I should plan and let you shower and relax and…"

Arizona interrupted Callie's diatribe by reaching out and holding a single index finger to Callie's lips. "Breathe," she instructed, speaking for the first time and smirking slightly. "If," she started slowly, sliding her hand down to Callie's neck and resting her open palm there gently, "you are willing to marry me, despite the sweat infused clothes, long gone make up and distinct aroma of body odour…" Arizona stopped for a moment, catching her own breath. "Surrounded by pizza boxes and empty wine bottles. Then, I can't imagine a more perfect proposal." Slowly breaking out in to a grin, Arizona tapped the pads of her fingers at Callie's neck muscles, who still nervously awaited a response; a request for more time as Callie had already convinced herself was what Arizona needed. "Calliope Torres, yes. A thousand times, yes."

Arizona's words seemed to take a second too long to infiltrate Callie's consciousness and she stared back expressionless. "Really?" she eventually asked, "because honey, if you need more time, that's okay. I know I get carried away and caught up, and it must feel really really rushed."

"Are you actually retracting the fact that you just asked me to marry you?" Arizona teased, moving on to her knees and crawling to kneel in between Callie's legs.

Callie was dramatically shaking her head before Arizona's sentence was even finished. "God no," she whispered before laughing lightly. "I suck at it; you said yes, I asked. Let's just quit while we're ahead, I'm never doing that again."

"I hope not," Arizona murmured, cupping Callie's face and kissing her intensely. "I plan on being married to you until the end of time, so I would hope that you wouldn't have opportunity to be asking anyone else."

Callie shook her head, relieved when Arizona broke into a grin. "No one else," she said seriously, "only you." Taking Arizona's hand from her cheek, she kissed the base of her palm before holding it lightly in her lap. "Answer me again, Arizona. Tell me again," she instructed softly, voice barely above a hoarse whisper, suddenly thick with emotion. She held a fine gold ring in her fingertips, poised at Arizona's nail, the diamond, integrated perfectly in a smooth, low setting, catching small rays of artificial light.

Pausing, Arizona swallowed heavily, eyes focussed on her hand in Callie's. When she raised her face, tears were pooled under her lashes. "Yes," she answered, "I'll marry you, Calliope."

* * *

><p>The apartment was quiet, <em>really quiet<em>. It was the first observation Callie made as she slipped through the front door, turning the lock in place before walking towards the kitchen. And _dark,_ she thought, flicking on a tall lamp by the door followed by the fluorescent overhead light, just above the island in the middle of the kitchen. The television was usually on in the background, or some music at least. And Arizona had a habit of having her laptop open on the dining room table as she went about preparing dinner; streaming the highlights of the news channel or playing some groundbreaking surgery that had been recorded at a European specialist paediatric centre.

Arizona was definitely home, her handbag was hooked over their coat rack just inside the front door, and Callie had texted her a few times earlier that afternoon. In fact, they had been having a fairly hysterical discussion only a few hours before, trying to satisfy both sets of parents in terms of a wedding celebrant and ceremony spot. Arizona continued to plead, over and over again, that they elope and get married barefoot on a Tahitian beach. Not that Callie was adverse, but she figured she had given her parents enough grief over the years and not giving them a white wedding seemed like it could be the final straw. So, the invitations were set for the final print, just waiting on venue confirmation and the guest list.

Poking a head into their darkened bedroom, Callie called out, "Arizona? Are you home?" She stopped and listened carefully, looking back over her shoulder when a light tap seemed to emanate from behind her. "Arizona? What are you doing? It's pitch black in here." Distinctly hearing a cough and what sounded like moving furniture, Callie turned back and headed towards their guest room. It was technically a guest room anyway, though the only guest it had housed was a very intoxicated Teddy one weekend, when post breakup, she went on a very acopic and emotional binge session. Other than that, it served as a storage space; especially for the exercise bike sans ironing pile holder. "I feel like I'm playing Marco Polo…" Callie muttered to herself, turning on a hallway light as she poked her head through the open door. "You in here?" she asked, taking a few steps in before she noticed Arizona, sitting cross legged on the floor in front of an opened cupboard, paraphernalia and boxes scattered around her.

"Don't," Arizona whispered, eyes fixated on the range of objects on her lap. Everything from photo books through to seemingly random receipts, figurines and small gift boxes. "I just need a few minutes."

"Why?" Callie enquired, concerned as she crouched to the floor, having listened to each word falter when Arizona spoke. "You're sitting in darkness; I think you've had a few minutes."

Arizona blinked, a slight recognition that she had probably been holed up in the room since light was streaming through the large window, curtains gaping. "There's just, all this stuff. You know."

Even if she tried, Callie didn't know; didn't have a clue in fact. "Stuff? What are you talking about Arizona? What's wrong? Did something happen?"

"You didn't tell me, you kept all this stuff. In the cupboard and I didn't realise."

"What stuff, honey? You're not making any sense."

Arizona sniffled and squeezed at the bridge of her nose, releasing a slight groan. Callie sighed and half stood, taking a few steps to turn on the bedside lamp, illuminating the room in a soft glow. It exposed Arizona more, back curled and shoulders rounded with her head hanging low. "Don't Call, I'm sorry."

"How about we just leave all this for a few minutes," Callie began softly, hands shadowing Arizona's arms before tucking underneath. She stopped short at actually hoisting Arizona to her feet.

"No it's okay, I just didn't realise. I came in here looking for one good memory and got slammed with a crapload of not so good ones."

"It's not okay, you're upset," Callie acknowledged quietly, not quite sure whether to sit herself down against Arizona or still go with her instincts and get her away from whatever it was scattered around her, that was clearly distressing.

Nodding, Arizona reached for the hands at her arm pits and tugged. "Just sit with me?"

"I haven't seen any of this since we moved in; we don't even go into this cupboard. What were you looking for?" Callie leant forward as she lowered herself, kissing Arizona's temple and continuing to rub her back slowly as she settled on the floor. "Oh," she said after a moment of silence, "that's photos of you and umm, of you and Emily."

Shaking her head as if trying to wish away the tears again, Arizona answered, "I had an argument with my father and I was looking for a box that I have in here, with a few of Tim's things."

"You argued with The Colonel?"

Arizona silently concealed a slight sob though her shoulders shuddered once. "Hmmm mmm," she murmured. "Everything that I suggest, to have Tim in the ceremony he refuses. And I know that it's his strategy, his coping thing but it's our wedding. This is our day and all we're doing is trying to please more people."

"I know," Callie agreed. "If it helps at all, I'm coming around to your eloping idea. I can certainly see why people do it."

"I have his dog tags in a box, I had them cleaned up ages ago and I thought I could wear them. I know they don't go with the white dress and formal crap we're doing for your parents but they were the only thing I could think of to include him. He should be at my wedding; he was always going to be at my wedding."

"You wear whatever you want, Arizona."

"I can't find them," she elaborated tearfully, leaning into Callie as arms snaked around her abdomen. "And then I found this box and I didn't even know it was here. And I know I just went completely weird, I didn't expect it and I haven't thought about her in ages. Not properly, not like this and I just had this meltdown. I don't know why, I sound completely dysfunctional."

Callie tightened her hold. "Well look at our families, it's a wonder we're as sane as we are," she joked carefully, earning a sad giggle and a swat on the arm. "I'm kidding," she whispered into Arizona's ear, kissing her hairline. "You got caught by surprise, you were probably already feeling emotional and then you get slammed by a brick…figuratively."

"It's been almost a year," Arizona said softly, eyes closing. "Is this what happens? People die and then they're virtually forgotten? I know that she wasn't a good part of my life, but she was a part of it for so long and now I go months without even thinking about her. I should think about her shouldn't I?"

Callie shook her head quickly. "No, no I don't think so. That's not fair; you get to be happy Arizona. You get to get lost in the wedding planning saga and buy appliances for new apartments and do amazing life saving surgeries for children from third world countries. You get to have and plan a future without having to include a ghost to haunt all that."

"Look," Arizona insisted, leaning out of Callie's embrace and grabbing a small photo album off the floor. She wiped at her cheeks, though the tears kept softly falling. "I thought I was happy in this photo, I was introduced to her parents and sister that afternoon. She hadn't once hurt me."

Callie shrugged, tucking a loose piece of blond hair behind Arizona's ear before tracing the edge of her jaw with her thumb. "I don't understand."

"I don't know," Arizona answered suddenly, voice louder and more distraught. "It's messing with my head. I don't know what to do, I can't think straight."

"Okay," Callie responded decisively, "we're getting out of this room for a start. I'll put all this stuff away later. You're just tired and stressed, and trying to do everything for everyone and hold it together all the time." Arizona shuddered under her touch, nodding. "Okay," Callie confirmed, kicking a few items haphazardly out of her way, knowing familiar twinges of anger were tugging at her stomach. She took a calming breath and repositioned herself in front of Arizona, both hands on her cheeks until blue eyes met hers. "Okay?" she repeated, intonation rising at the end. Face crumbling, Arizona nodded again, hands slipping around Callie's neck as she rolled forward, falling heavily against Callie's chest. 'Shhh," Callie murmured, "it's all right, Arizona."

Waiting a minute without any indication that Arizona was going to independently move, Callie wrapped two arms tightly around her back and stood. She paused momentarily, testing Arizona's weight on her own feet, and once content that she wasn't going to slide straight back to the floor, led her back to their own bedroom. Settling Arizona underneath the covers, she retreated briefly, turning off lights and grabbing a glass of water. When she returned, Arizona was lying quietly on her side, face stained. She conformed to the contours of Callie's body immediately, silently pressing into her side and sliding an arm over her stomach until her hand could grip Callie's forearm. She didn't elaborate or continue to talk, just closed her eyes and with a few sporadic sighs and tremors, fell into a deep sleep.

She barely moved, bar the occasional subconscious reposition, until morning.

* * *

><p>"Hey there," Callie whispered hoarsely, sleep gathered in the corners of her eyes, as blond hair inhabited her pillow. "How did morning come so quickly?"<p>

"Morning," Arizona acknowledged, nuzzling against Callie's shoulder until she rested comfortably.

"You slept?"

"Hmmm, yeah," Arizona answered, drawing a hand up and rubbing at her eyes. "Should I start apologising now or wait until you've woken up?"

Callie chuckled lightly and shook her head. "Shhhhh," she murmured, awkwardly placing her hand over Arizona's mouth, though mostly missing her target, fingers dipping into knotted curls. "No apologies for wedding meltdowns in this apartment."

"Oh I think that trumps any other meltdown, complete with irrational rambling and non stop crying."

"All of which was completely okay."

"Really?"

"Well, are you calling off our wedding?"

"No…no."

"Then yes," Callie said calmly, "totally okay."

Arizona groaned, voice muffled as she buried her face in the nape of Callie's neck. "You carried me to bed."

"I didn't carry you, not literally. You did walk, sort of."

"I am so, so sorry. That's, I…you should never have to…" Arizona trailed off, exasperated. "I could have at least been drunk with that kind of behaviour, but I hadn't even had one drink."

Callie laughed lightly before turning her body to face Arizona, foreheads almost touching. After a few moments of quietness, just the sound of their breathing and the occasional noise of water pipes from adjacent apartments, Callie asked, "are you okay, Arizona?"

She received a half smile in return. "I am, really. I don't know what happened, but I really am sorry."

"I want to help," Callie declared softly, yet Arizona shook her head. "No, seriously, what can I do to help?"

"Honestly, I'm okay. Much less crazy this morning and ready for whatever drama comes next."

"Let me help," Callie said, trying again.

Lifting her head off the pillow, Arizona opened her lips and captured Callie in a deep kiss. "We don't have to be at work this morning, distract me."

Feeling her body respond quickly, Callie had to focus on breaking their contact and holding Arizona still. "As much as I am completely up for that idea, we do need to rid ourselves of some furry morniness – the no dinner or shower last night kind of fur," she explained, rolling her tongue inside her dry mouth as evidence.

"Mmmm," Arizona agreed, dropping back to the pillow and licking her lips. "Good point."

"And," Callie said, finding Arizona's hand and pulling it back up to her chest. "I made a bit of a decision last night and I'm wondering how you feel about it."

"A decision?"

"Yep, an executive decision. But, it's yours too, so you have to be on board."

"Okay," Arizona answered a little nervously, fingers moving in Callie's hold. "What is it?"

"Well," Callie began, "I kind of think we've made enough decisions in our life that have been about other people. Making others happy or just keeping things to ourselves so that everyone else doesn't have to worry or be impacted."

"Right…"

"So, I think we really should get married in Tahiti. Screw the invitations and deposits; I really couldn't care less. I want to get married, bare foot on sand, wearing a cocktail dress and celebrating with a few daiquiris rather than some sugar iced fruit cake."

"Callie," Arizona murmured, shaking her head softly. "We can't."

"No, I think we can actually. You've been telling me for months that you don't want a massive wedding with crowds of people who you don't even know, and photographers and bloody drunk relatives; speeches."

"You parents might never talk to us again, it's not just about us."

"But shouldn't it be? My parents barely speak to us now, Arizona. When was the last time my mother even had a conversation with you? What can really change?"

"Callie, you need to think about this."

"I have thought about it, for days, weeks. Half the freakin' night. I think we make it happen, if our parents want to come to Tahiti then fine. But if not, it's just you, me and the terrible duo and anyone else who wants to come along. It'll be a holiday, a celebration."

Arizona smiled. "I won't have to wear white?"

"Oh honey, you can wear whatever you want. In fact, I advocate a bikini, you will look so hot in a new two piece."

Laughing, Arizona shook her head. "Are you really sure? We're going to do this?"

"Yeah, I think we do it. I want to marry _you_, Arizona and in a way that we want to. That means something to us, not this image of, something."

"I feel like all my talk of eloping to Tahiti has influenced you."

Callie shrugged. "It can be anywhere, as long as it's away and it's about us. About what we want. I don't mind, Hawaii or one of those other Pacific Islands, Somoa or Fiji maybe." She stopped for a moment, fingers splayed over her arm. "What do you want, honestly?" she asked gently.

Stopping to think seriously for a moment, Arizona considered the question. Slowly, she said, "I want to be able to stand in front of you and just forget everything else, because in that moment, I want it to be just about us and no one else. I don't want to be thinking about how my dress is sitting and whether someone can see my bra strap or whether your parents approve of my vows or if they're still obsessed with the fact that I don't have a penis. I don't want my father checking his watch if we want to add in a dance or an extra song. I want people there, only if their sole purpose is to share in our day. I just want it to be ours; I never want to look back and wish that I or we had done things differently. I don't want to have regrets, not about this."

"And I think," Callie said, nodding her agreement, "that we are going to have regrets if we stay on this path. Do you?"

"Not about marrying you, I'll never have that regret. But the way we've pushed aside everything that we want, that, I will I think. I want to start our marriage by sending you the message that you are the most important person in my life; not your parents or mine or some stupid five-piece band. Because you are."

Callie laughed, softly at first and then louder. "I believe," she said in an exaggerated whisper, "that we are going to Tahiti!"

"Are you really sure that this is the right decision for you, Calliope?"

"Yes, yes," she answered, turning her face and grinning. "A thousand times yes," she murmured, eliciting a wide grin from Arizona; the same way she had accepted Callie's proposal.

"We're going to have to tell our families."

Callie groaned. "Perhaps from the airport, what do you think?"

Arizona laughed, though shook her head. "I like the way you think, but no. We have to tell them."

"Not yet though, that's a job for tomorrow. Today, today is for staying in bed and I think I can find a few extra ways to show you exactly how important you are, to me."

"Mmmm, really?"

"Yep. Well, after breakfast, and a shower. And brushing our teeth; then I'll get right on to that."

Arizona turned and scooted closer into Callie, tangling their legs together as she half lay on top of her. "Thank you," she whispered, pressing her ear to Callie's chest. "Thank you."

**TBC….**


	19. Part 18

**Part 18**

* * *

><p>Tilting her head back, with wet blond hair gathering in the creases behind her neck, Arizona closed her eyes as water coursed from the shower head on to her chest. Sunlight streamed on to her face and the very slight gentle breeze only slightly faded the humidity. Even above the flow of cool water, she could hear the waves lapping beneath their over water bure, seagulls distinctly chirping overhead. The outdoor bathroom was a spectacular novelty, hidden from yacht yielding prying eyes by shoulder height one way glass. The occasional helicopter overhead could have all the voyeuristic sights they liked.<p>

They had spent almost two hours the previous night, soaking in the oversized tub and watching a large turtle periodically break the surface for air. It was just as the sun was setting and they only emerged from their indulgent sensual haze when Arizona's stomach had loudly demanded dinner and bright stars were overhead. They had broken so many traditions already, that spending their wedding eve together didn't even warrant a question. And they did spend it together, rather than sleeping the evening away, countless hours splayed across the king sized bed and crystal white sheets; a bottle of vintage Dom Pérignon Oenothéque sipped from glasses and as the evening progressed, licked seductively from chest cavities. A pre-wedding gift from the two Maids of Honour, although one would only acknowledge himself as the Best Man, clearly put to exceptional use.

After a slow and relaxing breakfast of fresh fruit and yogurt, delicately poached eggs and two steaming espressos, Callie and Arizona had reluctantly separated with a stream of continuous last minute kisses. The next time they saw each other, would be barefoot on fine white sand in front of a celebrant and a few close friends. So when Arizona heard the door click closed from the decadence of her shower, she grinned to the blue sky above her. It was hard to believe they had made it.

Impossible really; but they had.

She lathered herself with body wash, careful to cover every inch of her ever so slightly tanned skin; the aroma tantalising to her senses. She had saved a new perfume she had bought duty free when transiting in Dubai, with the matching moisturiser and wash, to specifically use for their wedding day. Callie had sprayed it on her as they perused the shelves, nuzzling her neck all flight and inhaling the distinct scent.

She smoothed her open palms over her breasts and down her abdomen, fingertips caressing the inside of her thighs; every bit the reminder of the air that had been breathed into their sex life since they had stepped foot on to a private helicopter at Male airport. Three days of slowing their pace down, reading books and sipping cocktails, slow walks along the sand and lazy kayak trips to picnic on neighbouring islands. Three days of spontaneous affection and long hours drawing out inevitable climaxes.

And they still had some time with friends and colleagues before they were left on their own for an additional ten days. It seemed forever, but not near long enough. In fact, right now, feeling the most relaxed she ever had, Arizona wasn't sure she ever wanted to leave. She figured they could manage at least six months just on their savings, and although it was only an extravagant fantasy, it was delightful to indulge in. Who hasn't dreamt of disappearing to a secluded island?

There was one very special ceremony first and one she needed to get ready for, so Arizona slowly turned off the faucet and towel dried her hair, slipping back inside the air conditioned room with a thick, double sized towel secured under her arms.

Greeting Arizona's appearance with a wide grin, Teddy stilled her hands, small jewellery boxes on a table in front of her. Crossing her legs, she swivelled around to tilt her head at Arizona, as she smoothed her knee length dress over her thighs. "I was starting to wonder if you had drowned in there," she said, laughing.

Arizona rolled her eyes and shook her head, reaching for her moisturiser in the drawer of her bedside table as she chuckled. "Nope, although those showers are to die for. This place actually, is to die for."

"Absolutely, hands down, the best idea you and Callie have ever had. Even Mark is looking all relaxed and oddly suntanned, although I'm desperately trying to erase the image of him in swim trunks from my mind."

"Erase? Really Teddy?"

"Well, it's that or I'll end up having holiday sex and that's just badness, all badness. I'll have Dido songs echoing in my head for weeks."

Arizona laughed loudly, sitting on the edge of the bed and slowly working the lotion into her legs and arms. "There's worse ways to spend your free time than having good sex in the middle of nowhere. Trust me, that's not to be missed."

"Yeah yeah, no need to rub it in, don't think I didn't notice Callie's flushed cheeks as she went into Mark's room just before."

"What?" Arizona asked with forged innocence.

Teddy closed her eyes and shook her head. "That's enough from you and your bliss. Now, we have one deadline for today and that is to get you to your wedding, on time. This means you need to be dressed, accessorised and sitting in this chair sooner, rather than later."

Arizona nodded with a wide smile, tilting her wrist to look for the time before realising she had deliberately left her watch in her suitcase days before. They were on holidays, time was inconsequential. "I'll be fashionably late…"

"And," Teddy mumbled, "your _wife_ will kill me after the ceremony."

"Okay, I'm good. I'm only kidding; I'll be dressed in five. Besides, we're going for the relaxed, natural approach, remember?" Callie and Arizona had easily decided on a no fuss day; natural, barely there makeup and short, simple flowing dresses. The wedding invitations had explicitly defined the tone of their nuptials with just a few easy words. _Join us for a celebration of love without pretence as we commit to our life together. A beach bure is our gift to you and we ask that you bring nothing but your willingness to embrace the true culture of happiness and positivity with a day of dancing, dining and drinking, barefoot on the shores of the Indian Ocean. _

And for the most part, the people they loved and cared about had booked flights within a few days, some using it as an excuse to tap on additional trips or multiple day extensions. Not surprisingly, neither or their parents had made the trip, although Arizona's best friend from childhood and Callie's sister had jumped at the chance. Although Callie's parents had remained hauntingly quiet, they had phoned the morning before Callie and Arizona flew out to tearfully express their regret and best wishes. And when they arrived at the airport, they found their tickets had been upgraded and first class suites made the lengthy trip more than bearable.

Arizona's parents, quietly bitter at what they perceived to be another of Callie's unconventional influences, had flown in to Seattle to spend a few days with them before they left. And with a bit more time, Callie had easily won them over, so much so that Arizona's mother had whisked Callie wedding dress shopping, just had she had done with her own daughter. They had each earned a tight hug and kiss on the cheek before they left.

And not once had Arizona or Callie questioned their decision to elope.

Waiting patiently, Teddy arranged three different hair accessories and spaced out Arizona's makeup across the table in front of her. She checked her own reflection in the mirror, playing with a strand of hair where the curl was misbehaving. She held in her hand a small box that Callie had explicitly requested that Teddy give to Arizona just before she was ready to leave. Contemplating a quick peak, Teddy physically jumped when the bathroom door opened and Arizona slipped back inside. She immediately beamed widely. "Oh my God, you look amazing. Where did you get that dress?"

Arizona blushed slightly, dimples creasing. "You like it?"

"No, no, not at all actually. That reaction was one of someone who doesn't like it at all," Teddy declared in a rush of sarcasm. "Absolutely gorgeous," she added.

"Mom took me shopping, she made me try on at least fifty before we decided on this one," Arizona explained, fingers running down her sides and over the waist. The dress was a striking blue, the colour of ocean water, where the aqua shallow water started to deepen, well before it turned to a hollow darkness. It had a low cut neck line, loose and light material that sat comfortably on the swell of her breasts, three thin straps that snaked over her shoulders and crossed at the back, where the dress exposed the length of her spine. And when Arizona turned her body to await Teddy's approval, she exposed a delicate tattoo in the small of her back.

"Oooo, you've never struck me as the tattoo type, Arizona," she observed, standing and taking a few steps until she could reposition and space the straps across her shoulder blades. "And it's a purple heart?" she questioned, taking a closer look.

Arizona nodded slowly. "Yeah," she murmured, "my brother was awarded it."

"Family members often get it tattooed as a memorial thing," she said softly, almost as a comment to herself, thinking briefly about her own military background.

Shrugging, Arizona said, "Callie used to hate it, but I've talked her around; it's important to me." She sighed quietly and a slow smile spread across her features. "And, since I'm not parading down an aisle in a poofy white dress, I actually get to show it."

"Here here," Teddy confirmed, turning Arizona around and taking a step back, eyeing her head to toe. "Alright, you do your make up and I'll sort your hair."

"Just one thing before I do that," Arizona murmured, crossing the room to pick up her cell phone before carefully sitting down, knee length dress gathered around the tops of her legs. "A very quick text…" she trailed off, earning a light slap on the shoulder.

"Oh come on, you've been apart all of thirty five seconds."

"Now you're just mocking."

"Am not," Teddy replied childishly.

"Are too."

"At least make sure it's sickeningly sweet."

Pondering, Arizona tapped at the screen and sent the message before holding her phone up for Teddy to see, comb held stationary through her hair. _Can't wait to be your wife, love you. xoxo_

"Perfectly nauseating," Teddy approved, resuming her role and adding a hair dryer to her right hand. Fifteen minutes later, and Arizona had a mass of loose curls tumbling over her shoulders, two silver and diamond pins securing some hair back from around her face. Complexion clear and natural, she had brushed only some loose foundation, a hint of blush and a finishing powder on. She added a light pink gloss across her lips and with some mascara to draw attention to her clear blue eyes, a perfect match with her dress, she was finished.

"Okay?" she asked Teddy, who met her gaze in the mirror.

"Ah huh," she confirmed, swallowing heavily. "See, you're making me all emotional."

"Oh Teddy," Arizona said softly, rushing to her feet and capturing Teddy in a tight hug. "Thank you so much, for being here," she added, quickly blinking away the hint of tears. "And stop, 'cause you'll make me cry at this rate, and I'm not testing out that waterproof mascara just yet."

Teddy sniffed. "Okay, I'm containing myself…I had to have a brief moment. Just don't look at me during the ceremony, I'll be crying like a baby."

"Me too probably," Arizona agreed, linking their hands and squeezing tightly. After a moment she released Teddy's hands and danced her fingers in the air. "Earrings and a necklace?" she questioned.

"Oh, I almost forgot. Callie asked me to give this to you…" Teddy murmured, tapping at the table and darting her eyes around, finally coming to rest on the small box, pushed behind the curling iron. She handed it to Arizona.

Fingering the ribbon, Arizona slowly pulled it loose and let it drop to the ground, removing the lid of the small box and passing it to Teddy. She withdrew a miniature card, placed atop a few white tissues and unfolded it. "The perfect accessory," she read quietly. "See you soon beautiful, I can't wait to marry you." Teddy nodded silently, holding her hand out to hold the card and tissues. Arizona immediately gasped, tears welling with more vigour. "She found them." She drew out a delicate short chain and ran it through her fingers, holding Timothy's stainless steel military tags up for Teddy to see. "I can wear them," she murmured, barely audible.

Taking the chain from Arizona, Teddy moved behind her secured the fastener behind her neck, repositioning her hair to rest down her back. "They look awesome, Arizona," she confirmed, and although slightly uncanny in their appearance on her delicate features, they had been adjusted to fall one below the other, starting just below the join of her clavicles.

Arizona tearfully grinned. "I am marrying the most incredible woman in the world," she declared, shaking her head. "If I can ever stop crying long enough to get there."

"Okay, deep breaths and I'll distract…"

"Ah huh," Arizona sniffled, using the tips of her index fingers to dab at the corner of her eyes.

"Earrings," Teddy declared, quickly moved forward, grabbing one pair of drop diamonds and holding them up to Arizona for approval. "These match the pins in your hair; otherwise we can go the blue sapphires?"

"No, those ones; they were a gift from Aria. I'd like to wear them."

"Oh nice, she's really lovely, Aria. I had a few drinks with her last night, just a nice girl. Although very shy compared to Callie."

"I know, I barely know her, the occasional phone conversation but that's about it. I had met her once, ages ago."

"She _raves_ about you; apparently the best thing to ever happen to her sister."

Arizona scoffed. "Her sister maybe, but definitely not her family."

"That's not how she talks…" Teddy disagreed before holding her hands up in the air. "Anything else?" she asked, watching Arizona spray her radial and carotid pulse points with perfume. Arizona shook her head slowly, appearing to process a mental check list for a long moment. "Can I just say," Teddy said, breaking the silence, "you look amazingly gorgeous, really just stunning and freakishly relaxed."

Laughing immediately, Arizona padded barefoot across the floor and stood opposite Teddy. "I feel…I don't know, I just feel _right_." She looked perplexed fleetingly. "Like this is the easiest thing I have ever done."

"Then it's so right."

"It is."

"Should we go?"

A quick deep breath. "Yep."

* * *

><p>"Bloody hell Mark, my hair looks like something out of the Rocky Horror Picture Show. And check out this message from Arizona, she's clearly not stressed. Should I respond? And say what? Hey, do you mind if your wife is actually freakin' Magenta?"<p>

"Huh?"

"I said…"

"Callie," Mark interrupted, hands on her shoulders, mid panic stricken stride across the polished wooden floor boards. "You're stressing unnecessarily. Your hair looks fine, hot in fact."

Callie tossed him her most disgusted of looks. "You can't say that, I'm getting _married_."

"Not if you don't get it together you're not and I can so. I can appreciate hotness from wherever; I even find your wife to be, _hot_. And she isn't even remotely attainable."

"Thank you Mark, you are not helping." Stamping her feet dramatically, Callie gave a frustrated groan.

"Stop, breathe."

"I'm not breathing, I'm freaking out."

"Relax."

"Don't tell me to relax, I am not relaxed. I am not even slightly relaxed because my hair is insane. I should shave it off or, do something to it. It's thick and it's wild and it's useless today. Of all days for me to have crap hair; it's the humidity or the salt or some crap like that."

"Okay, alright. Look," Mark said, biding his time as his mind reeled. He knew Callie, in fact, Callie was his family; he loved Callie. And he knew that there was nothing in this little freak out that was at all about doubts or reservations. It was Callie, wanting everything to be perfect for Arizona; not for herself, but for the woman that she would do anything to see smile, even for a moment. "Look," he repeated, "this is not about whether your hair is how your warped mind envisaged it was going to be. It's about Blondie and you, all loved up and in holiday mode, promising to have sex only with each other, for the rest of your lives. No one else, just each other."

"Mark!"

"Well, it is!" Mark exclaimed, moving his hands to cup Callie's cheeks, absolutely glowing in tanned beauty. "Callie," he said, meeting her eyes and lowering his voice. "I have never, in all the time I've known you, seen you even close to as happy as you have been the last few days. I couldn't make you this happy, George couldn't. No one could. Only Arizona; and today, you are going to marry her. And you are going to marry her, in the way that you both wanted. The way you planned and agreed, surrounded by people who love and adore you both. Who travelled, across the world, to watch…to share in this. Do you know how rare it is? To actually believe that two people who are meant to be together are getting married? That is something worth seeing; and we're all here, we want to breathe it in."

"God that's oddly reflective and inspirational."

"Did it work?"

Deflating with spent energy, Callie inhaled deeply and slowly started to nod. "Are you serious? Really?" she questioned softly.

With a cheeky grin, Mark shrugged. "Yeah, all true. And what you need to do, is to grab that pair of sunglasses, slide them on to your head in true, beach wedding style, and focus on the copious amount of wine we will be consuming for the rest of the afternoon." He hesitated momentarily. "And the fact that in less than an hour, you will have your wife."

With a wide smiling spreading across her face, Callie glanced to Mark's bed, where she had haphazardly thrown her sunglasses and toiletries bag on arrival. She shook her head and laughed lightly. "Arizona would love that, the sunnies."

"Then do it, they even match your…dress," Mark confirmed, eyes drifting from Callie to the frames and back again.

On her shopping expedition with Arizona's mother, Callie had found the dress she had chosen in the first boutique they entered. And after six hours of going store to store, driving across town and back again, they had eventually returned and bought it. Some traditions she wasn't fully prepared to dismiss, so the dress was mostly white, a stunning bright satin that hugged her magnificent curves. With small capped sleeves, it cut low in the centre of her chest, exposing supple breasts and falling over the swell of her hips. The hemline was uneven, with the right side cut just below the knee and the left almost to her ankle. In a silent challenge to the Catholicism in which she was strictly raised, an almost inch white black satin ribbon thread around her abdomen, sewn meticulously into the dress until it reached the top of her left thigh where it hung loosely down the side of her leg; a stark contrast to the purest of whites. Despite their commitment to bare feet, Callie had thread matching ribbons around each foot and secured them above the ankles; few words could describe her presence. Captivating and immeasurably beautiful.

Reaching for the black rimmed sunglasses, Callie tipped her face towards the mirror and scrupulously placed them on the top of her head. She made sure to slip the arms over and under strands of hair; ensuring thick waves fell naturally down her face and over her shoulders. Straightening up, she glanced at Mark for approval. Hours in a salon wouldn't have ever resulted in the same, natural, carefree and effortless splendour. "Perfect," Mark murmured simply.

"Okay," she whispered in response, breathing a sigh of relief. She turned back to the mirror, drawing in air slowly and examining her reflection. Despite spending the last few weeks joking endlessly about how stress free their wedding day would be, Callie couldn't quite manage to eradicate the persistent need for perfection. Even for her _relaxed_ presentation to appear completely flawless. It was definitely ironic and she at least had some insight to internally humour herself.

Reappearing at her side, Mark edged himself to lean on the table. "Hold out your arm, Callie," he demanded gently, waiting with his palm up in front of him. Callie offered only a confused glance before obliging. "I'm under strict instructions," he explained, taking her hand, "to make sure you have something old, something new, something borrowed and something blue for today. Though _sans _shoes, we'll skip the sixpence."

Again, Callie's entire expression emanated bewilderment. "We're not doing tradition Mark, remember? That's why we're in the middle of the Indian Ocean."

"I remember; no need to be all feisty. You do realise that I know you have a blue garter on right?"

A blush spread over Callie's cheeks and she stifled a smile. "I don't need to follow some rhyme from the Victorian era," she countered, though her gaze quickly darted to the ceiling. "And Arizona isn't, I think her exact phrase was that it's a 'load of crap' when I mentioned it."

"Ah, so you did want to carry some traditions? Along with the white dress?"

"It's not all white…" she defended.

"Mmmm?"

"Are you following some order from my Father? Are you going to start quoting gospel extracts at me?" Callie suddenly ranted with one hand on her hip.

"No," Mark muttered coolly, laughing lightly at Callie's discomfort. "Actually, Arizona insisted. She told me you had the garter, I had no idea if you were actually wearing it." He earned a heavy push to the centre of his chest. "She also mentioned that you had Aria's heirloom necklace, which is both old and borrowed. And she wanted you to have something new, which she had made especially for you, for today."

Callie silenced, licking her lips and swallowing at the lump that swelled immediately in her throat. "She did?"

"Yeah, she did."

"Okay," Callie acknowledged softly.

"May I?" Mark asked, tugging at her hand.

"Please."

Exposing a bracelet from behind his back, Mark released Callie's hand to unclasp the latch as Callie watched intently. It was made with white gold and speckled with diamonds, and if Callie ever checked with their insurance company, she would find the valuation to be completely extravagant. Arizona had spared no expense, nor time, as she had searched for months for the perfect wedding gift for her wife. Eventually, she had worked with a jeweller to design the piece. It was unique and different, exquisite and representative of everything she loved about Callie. It was almost akin to a band, a quarter of an inch wide and it secured firmly around her tanned wrist; strong, distinctive and sparkling. An intricate engraved design weaved from the clasp, leading to two larger diamonds that guarded a single word. "Ah," she whispered, before stating the word with her thick accent, "_eternidad,"_ as her finger tips tracing over each cursive letter.

"Translation?" Mark questioned patiently, respectfully.

When she finally raised her eyes to fix on Mark, they were tear-filled yet an undeniable grin was present on her face. "It means, forever or everlasting; eternal," she explained, fingers still trailing over the band.

Mark nodded, leaning forward and lingering a chaste kiss to her cheekbone. "Should we go?"

"Yes."

* * *

><p><em>TBC…<em>


	20. Part 19

**AN: **_Thank you as always for the reviews (positive, negative and indifferent), messages, alerts and unending patience with my slow updates (I do have a one shot to post at some point of a look at Calzona's first time post crash before the new year ep, it's 90% finished so I haven't been completely slack). :-) I'm thrilled to still be receiving comments from old and new readers…such a nice bonus. Thanks. And I know this isn't super long, but it's a single scene and something before Christmas. :-)_

_Now, no one has specifically mentioned it, but I thought I should. I write these few parts in a nice little delusional world, as the Maldives is a part of the world where homosexuality and clearly marriage/civil union is not legal. Neither is gay marriage in my own country for that matter, but I have travelled to the Maldives and it is one of the most beautiful places that I have seen (and couldn't get the environment out of my head for this) and I've also been witness to some incognito ceremonies and guests are certainly not excluded based on sexual orientation. But never-the-less, I acknowledge that it's a clear error for those that might have been wondering. :-) And I hope that doesn't bother you all too much, if so, I'm sorry. I really don't mean to annoy or upset you._

_And Merry Christmas everyone, have a safe and happy festive season._

* * *

><p>Walking slowly towards the beach, familiar music infiltrated their senses. Soft rhythmic beats that combined with the gentle lap of waves on the shore to absorb the inevitable nervous energy of impending nuptials. Arizona had a habit of rubbing the pads of her fingers together and it wasn't unusual to see Callie drawing in deep breaths to conceal a drying mouth. They approached from the same direction, though Callie was a couple of minutes ahead, double checking the playlist she had put together and leaving some final instructions with Aria, remote for the small stereo system securely held in the palm of her sister's hand. And with a final few words to the Celebrant, she stood next to Mark, eyes darting gradually from Miranda Bailey to Alex Karev, offering a slight wave to Christina and Meredith as she fixed her stare at the opening between coconut palms that led to the beach. Nick had easily infiltrated the group, chatting casually to Karev and sharing some wine encouraged banter with Christina. It had been the perfect excuse really, for many of them to take a brief, yet well earned break from their working lives; there certainly wasn't an issue of whether they had enough leave accrued.<p>

Coughing loudly, Nick put his hands on his hips and grinned. "Maybe Phoenix has done a runner?"

A round of awkward chuckles spread across the group, with even two bar staff holding a tray of drinks shaking their head. "Yeah, thanks for that," Mark offered, jotting his elbow out to tap at Callie.

She simply smiled in return and laughed. "We're on an island, she'd have to swim." Immersed in the laughter, her grin widened; observing Arizona appear through the trees and step on to the white sand. An audible murmur spread through the small gathering. "Wow," Callie whispered, eyes not leaving Arizona's where she had stilled twenty yards away. She waited momentarily as Teddy dipped her head and said something in Arizona's ear, eliciting a laugh from the blonde, head tilting back.

Slowly, Callie walked towards her wife to be, toes curling through the sand, and the hem of her dress blowing in the breeze. Arizona stood motionless, eyes appearing glazed and tear-filled as Callie came to rest in front of her. "Calliope," Arizona articulated through a husky gasp. "You look…so beautiful."

"Shhhh," Callie murmured, slipping her hand into Arizona's and entwining their fingers. "I'm not meant to kiss you yet…" she trailed off, laying an open palm to Arizona's cheek. "But what rule haven't we broken?" she sighed, engaging Arizona in a chaste kiss. She lingered, barely an inch apart, breath slightly laboured. "You…you're stunning, Arizona. I am so lucky." Unable to resist the warm breath on her lips, Callie again brought them to Arizona's until a round of raucous heckling separated them.

Emerging from their secluded bubble, Callie stepped to stand next to Arizona, all eyes fixed on them. She indicated quickly to Aria, who fumbled with the remote. Callie had deliberated for days over the song she would figuratively walk Arizona down the aisle to; having forgone the traditional 'giving away' in favour of starting the ceremony as they intended on finishing it; together. The overall playlist was eclectic and predominately alternative in genre, a mix of lesser known singer songwriters with the odd upbeat dance track and traditional rock ballads. The gentle strumming of an acoustic guitar was emitted from the speakers and just a few seconds passed before Arizona's face erupted in a broad smile. She squeezed Callie's hand tightly and tipped her head, eyes wide as she nodded her approval.

Their feet dug into the sand as they walked, tiny grains slipping between their toes and calves working at keeping their pace smooth and even. They both laughed easily as they walked, brief waves and murmured _hellos_ until they came to stand in front of the celebrant. _And I see love; I see love when I close my eyes._ The chorus trailed off and Aria slowly turned the volume down until it faded to silence.

"Should we get started?" the Celebrant, a young English female by the name of Jasmine, asked softly, accent heavy.

Arizona drew in a long deep breath, a loose smile on her face as she lifted her closed eyes to absorb the dropping sun. Callie tightened her hold on her hands, both now captured tightly in hers as they stood face to face, only a small distance between them. "Ready?" she prompted softly, waiting patiently for Arizona to lower her head and expose eyes thick with a watery film.

Arizona nodded and giggled lightly. "Sorry, I think I'm meant to save the tears for the vows," she offered, pursing her lips to blow air towards her forehead.

"I'll pour the first wine," Callie whispered into her ear, leaning forward and kissing her cheek. "Marry us," she insisted with a smile, winking playfully with Jasmine.

"Alright, well then, let's begin." Clearing her throat, Jasmine held her hands up in the air and indicated to the small number of guests. "Firstly, Callie and Arizona wanted me to particularly thank you all for making the effort to be here, and that they have so enjoyed your company over the last few days." They both nodded eagerly, shoulders slowly relaxing into the only slightly practised formal component of their wedding. "They realise that their decision to jump on a plane was a little late notice and are just thrilled that you were all willing to come along for the ride and share in their very relaxed and non traditional celebration."

Teddy and Mark shared a glance and raised their hands above their hands, clapping. The others quickly followed.

Laughing, Jasmine returned her attention to Callie and Arizona, both swaying humorously together as they waited for the noise to dissipate. "Now, I'm sure you will agree that both brides look absolutely stunning," she managed to articulate before again, clapping and cheering erupted. And a lengthy wolf whistle, which neither Arizona nor Callie could figure out if it came from Nick or Mark. "It's not part of the ceremony, but I will definitely be requiring purchase information and perhaps a website for both of those dresses," Jasmine murmured good-naturedly, chuckling along with them.

"Oh absolutely," Callie responded, nodding.

"You can borrow my mom as a shopping companion if you like," Arizona added, suddenly overwhelmingly grateful for the light mood they had insisted the entire trip have, including the ceremony. Though their mostly unprepared and certainly unshared vows were cause for some anxiety.

"Best fashion sense," Callie agreed.

"So, moving on with why we are all here this afternoon," Jasmine said, changing focus and regaining a more serious tone. "Callie and Arizona have chosen today, to stand before their friends, family and loved ones to…to tell the world and each other, that their love and commitment is more than just an idea. It's so much more than words in a book or the lyrics of a song; it's not a signature on a piece of paper or stories learned from fairytales. It's the part of who they are, at the very foundation of their love that is now one."

Callie licked her lips and swallowed heavily, unable to draw her stare from the glistening blue irises before her. Arizona found her thumbs calmly stroking the backs of Callie's hands where they were secured in her grip and she lost herself in the intensity of Callie's gaze.

"Callie and Arizona have, since the moment I met them a few days ago, insisted that their partnership is about friends and family and celebrations. It's not about expectations or legalities, or about silly ideas constructed for a different time, a different era. When I asked them what it was they thought a wedding was about, they said words like love and trust, sharing lives, and making promises of support and care. Not once did they mention dresses or cakes, fancy cars or expensive jewellery. And I probably shouldn't say this, but they spoke of something I seldom hear from clients, they spoke about the emotion and their connection. They said they wanted to tell each other, in the company of the people they love, that they're all in, always."

Glancing from Callie to Arizona and back again, Jasmine allowed a moment to absorb the quiet tranquillity. Slowly, she lowered her gesturing hands to clasp behind her back and nodded. "Callie, your vows."

Instantaneously, it was as if the world disappeared and they were standing alone, where nothing and no one else was important. The gentle breeze moved strands of hair across Arizona's face at will, yet she made no move to tuck them behind her ears. The water behind them, previously catching Callie's peripheral vision vanished, and only Arizona mattered. Everything and everyone ceased to exist, and it were only the two of them that remained.

"I love you," Callie said softly, voice thick with emotion and Arizona immediately closed her eyes in a long blink, opening them to release a thick tear to track down each cheek. After a momentary silence, Callie coughed lightly. "I have never, in my life, been so proud, so in awe, every moment of every day, like I am of you. You are everything that I aspire to be, strong and kind, and loyal. When I was a little girl, and I dreamed of the person who I would get old with, that person was you. It was everything you are. It was someone who would stand beside me; someone who could encourage me and celebrate my achievements and then that same person could let me cry for hours on their shoulder. It was you I dreamed of, and I can't believe that I found you because _you_ are incredible in ways that is so far beyond my imagination. Arizona Robbins, you are my love, my life and I am so much more than I ever hoped to be, when I am with you." Callie stopped draw in a breath, eyes brimmed with tears. "I promise you forever, Arizona; if you choose me to be the one with whom you spend your life."

Squaring her chest, Arizona released her lips to inhale slowly, blowing air back out before repeating the deliberate action. She sniffled and gave Callie a half smile, dimple creasing in a way that made Callie want to tumble Arizona into her arms. And never, ever let her go.

Instead, she waited patiently until Arizona spoke, each syllable quiet and gentle, considered. "I love you, Calliope," she murmured. "I love you in a way that I'm not sure I even knew existed. And you did more than just love me back; you taught me, you showed me what that meant. The kind of love that defies words and definitions; where the only place that feels like home is with you. You said that you dreamt of me; but I didn't really dream of you, because you are…because you are everything that I never let myself wish for – beautiful and tough, gentle and protective." Stopping to lick her lips, Arizona cocked her head slightly to the side and smiled, waiting quietly for a lone tear to fall from the corner of Callie's eye and down the side of her nose. "You make me feel safe," she whispered, chest quivering. "With you, I am me; nothing more and nothing less." No charades and no pretences, and the greatest declaration that Arizona could possibly make is that she was someone with Callie that had never been shown to anyone else. "And Calliope, I promise you forever, if you choose me to be the one, with whom you spend your life."

Watching the intimate exchange, Teddy wiped hastily at her cheeks, barely able to wipe away one tear before the next fell. Mark, nodding his approval as he watched his best friend fill with pride, draped an arm around Teddy's shoulders. She relaxed into his chest, scoffing at her own sensitivity.

Releasing hands, Arizona and Callie held their hands open as Jasmine placed their rings carefully in their palms. Callie spoke first, tenderly pushing the band onto Arizona's ring finger and pressing a light kiss to her knuckle. "I choose you," she murmured.

Barely missing a beat, as if suddenly desperate to have Callie's lips on hers, Arizona said softly, "And I choose you." Without further instruction and with wedding bands securely in place, they exchanged a long and lingering kiss. Applause and cheering erupted, though they went oblivious, tongues hastily entwining and fingers tangling into hair as they gripped to each others neck. Breathlessly, they finally separated, foreheads pressed together. "God, I love you so much," Arizona gushed, shoulders trembling as Callie's hands trailed down her arms and around her waist.

"I love you…I love you," Callie replied vigorously, pulling Arizona tightly into her body and turning them, eyes falling to Mark first whom she grinned at widely. As if redundant, Jasmine stepped back, placing her pen atop the ceremonial certificate that both women could sign at their leisure. They had talked about some closing remarks and planned a declaration of partnership before their first married kiss, but like everything these women had done, they made their own rules. So she stood back and relished the favourite part of her job, as Arizona and Callie were separated and enveloped in hugs and kisses from friends and colleagues. Relentless rounds of _congratulations_ were heaped on them and glasses of champagne were thrust into their hands. Tears of happiness gradually faded and made way for unfiltered laughter and high pitched exchanges. Mark and Teddy received extra tight embraces; rushed gratitude reigned on them for their unrelenting support in getting them both to the altar, so to speak. And they had, literally and figuratively, and not once had either of them wavered in their quiet, ready and waiting kind of way.

"Thank you," Arizona whispered in Teddy's ear, arms tight around her back, "for being so much like a sister. I can't thank you enough."

Teddy leant back, crying easily again. "You gotta stop making me cry," she mumbled, "the vows and the…" She trailed off, pads of her fingers scraping at her lower eyelids. "Stop stop stop," she added, smiling.

"Softy," Arizona countered, and earned the desired laugh in response. "Come on," she added, taking Teddy's hand and leading her the short distance towards Callie, who was stepping back from Mark.

Another round of close and lengthy hugs resulted with variations on similar declarations made. "You look beautiful Blondie," Mark said approvingly, casting his eyes over Arizona's body. "And happy, you both look happy."

Callie raised her eyebrows at Arizona and opened her arms, laughing as they tangled together. "I am," Arizona murmured, receiving a swag of wet kisses over her ear and temple.

"Me too," Callie affirmed, feeling Arizona conform closer into the nape of her neck, a long kiss pressed to the curve of her jaw. Their intimate space was only fleeting, as Mark and Teddy shared just the briefest of glances before they widened their arms and enclosed Arizona and Callie. A rush of laughter emerged from their bubble, genuine and unaffected happiness. Simple, pure and perfect happiness.

_Yeah I see love; I see love when I close my eyes…_

* * *

><p>TBC…(<em>almost there<em>!)

The song for those interested is 'I See Love' by Passenger.


	21. Epilogue

**AN:**A huge thank you to everyone for following this fic through my infrequent updates and tangential distractions with various one shots. I hope that you've enjoyed the storyline, or at least, enjoyed reading my take on where I took the initial idea. I can't thank you enough for the regular reviews, alerts and pm's – I know it's really tough to stay with a fairly lengthy fic when there isn't frequent updates, so if I haven't messaged you or you're a guest reviewer, I really appreciate your time and effort in reviewing/commenting.

Always tough to know how to finish off a long piece, and I mulled over this for some time. Then I just went with it, so hopefully it pleases at least some of you! :-)

Thanks again…and on with the epilogue…

* * *

><p><strong>Epilogue<strong>

"It seems like yesterday." Piercing blue eyes glanced up at the warm breath over her ear and she grinned, squeezing the hand that had maintained a gentle hold for almost twenty minutes of speeches. The endless stream of kind words and tearful declarations had culminated in a spectacular display of images and recordings, projected across the wide wall to the side of the function room.

"Then why do I feel so old?" Arizona questioned shakily, laughing with familiarity and leaning slightly so her shoulder pressed to Callie's chest.

"You still look good from my perspective," Callie prompted, coughing lightly as she took a small sip of champagne.

The room erupted suddenly in laughter, as a scene played out of two young children hitting countless baseballs towards a youthful Arizona; Callie's hysterics could be heard emanating through the speakers. The children were characteristically miniature versions of their mothers, one boy, just a toddler with a mass of messy blond curls that fell almost to his shoulders. An older girl, perfectly tanned skin and dark eyes, wore her long dark hair in a ponytail and a wide grin that was a mirror image of Callie. "You do realise," Arizona murmured as the crowd died down, "that our grandchildren are the same age Timothy and Sofia were in this."

"And you still can't catch…" Callie teased, pressing a chaste kiss into the short naturally grey hair that Arizona now proudly displayed. With a well practised chiding glance, Arizona returned her gaze to the images, settling closer to her wife and relishing the range of comments that their two well accomplished children were happily throwing in, sharing a microphone between them. Slowly, the photographs and videos worked the crowd of family and friends toward the present, from the informal wedding in a sandy atoll of the Maldives through to the birth of their children, and various sporting finals and music recitals. There were a range of medical awards throughout their career, including ground breaking research and treatment that earned Callie front page rights of an International Orthopaedics Journal and a brief stint that Arizona did in Africa, when her protégé won the prestigious Harper Avery under her supervision. Of course, they paled in comparison to the crayon coloured birthday cards with misspelt words and lopsided bodies. Callie had always showered their young children with praise, yet her and Arizona had laughed and joked, as only the children of an Orthopaedic Surgeon could put only four fingers on each hand yet design the most intricate guitar or plot a perfect weather map down to the last degree.

Slowly the images faded to white, each grandchild proudly displayed in their grandmothers' arms, though the familiar sound of children and laughter continued. Callie's voice emanated through the speakers, threading that fine line between strong, loud tones and the most delicate of words, in a way that only she could.

_Arms wide…wide…wide…that's how much I love you._

_What about Mama? Mama, how much? How much do you love us? _Childish giggles followed with the rustling of excited movements; children who had an inability to sit still.

The quieter, more lyrical voice of Arizona broke a prolonged silence. _You find a way to measure something that never ends and then you'll know…_

Applause erupted and Arizona shared an almost embarrassed look with Callie, rolling her eyes at Timothy who held the microphone, standing next to his sister. They were characteristically middle aged, though clearly fit and healthy with careful attention to their appearance and dress, with Sofia proudly displaying a low cut crimson gown that Callie would have worn forty years before. "So," Timothy began, one hand in the pocket of his suit pants and one leg slightly bent, "our parents would have that exact same exchange at least a hundred times throughout out lives, or at least until we turned into rebellious teenagers." Callie and Arizona eagerly nodded, smiling. "But I remember so clearly, when I was twenty two and just returned from my first sail around the world, and after making it back both alive and intact, I was being made to promise that I would never go again. Of course, clearly, five times later, they didn't win that argument."

Coughing, Callie interrupted his speech with a few quick words, still as sharp as she ever was. "What about the time I would have killed you, had I not had to fly to Cape Town and save your arm?"

Timothy grinned in response, pausing as Sofia murmured into his ear before throwing his head back. "Sofia just said that I had it easy compared to having to stay at home and keep Mama relaxed."

Arizona nodded her agreement; although neither of their children had followed in their medical footsteps, they had raised two incredibly independent and confident adults who had done nothing but excel in their chosen fields. Timothy, after spending his youth sailing and breaking various world records, had eventually settled down and become a Naval Engineer. He had spent time in the Marines before moving more into design and now managed a business that created and built groundbreaking Maxis that competed around the globe. And until recently, when he finally married his long term girlfriend and she gave birth to twin boys, had regularly taken his family sailing.

And Sofia, a few years his senior, had spent years backpacking her way around the world, before returning for college. Finishing a business degree first, she eventually completed post graduate qualifications in international aid, dividing her time between the African Medical Clinic Arizona had been involved in and being CEO of a major cancer charity based in New York. Her three children were older, two girls nineteen and fifteen and a boy who had just turned nine. Her nineteen year old had recently introduced her first girlfriend to the family, an incredible symmetry given, when as a toddler, she had been an excited flower girl when gay marriage had finally been legalised and Arizona and Callie had taken the opportunity to renew their vows, a tribute to their original celebration so long before.

"Anyway," Timothy continued, animated in his exchange with the attentive crowd, "I got off the boat and we did what we had to do and eventually, a few days later went out for an incredible dinner. We all may have had a few celebratory wines…"

"A few?" Sofia tossed in with a loud laugh. It echoed through the room and if Arizona closed her eyes it was every bit of Callie.

"Yes, just a few. Mama was all emotional and teary, begging me to stay at home and do a medical degree at college, because surely one of us was going to have to be a surgeon – which didn't eventuage, sorry about that."

"Oh, I think Jacob is a definite, the kid can remove peas from a pie with surgeon like precision," Sofia interjected.

"Seriously, it's a miracle I ever got a word out as a child," Timothy teased, elbow jutting out and rolling his eyes. "So, we leave the restaurant, and Mama's got this death grip on my arm and asks if I've figured out how much she loves me yet." Arizona grinned as Callie gave her a confused look; her little sensitive, intelligent boy who even well into his twenties would talk to her for hours about the children she had operated on or the ones she couldn't save. "Being the know it all that I was, I tell her that since I've circumnavigated the globe, than I've figured out that is forever, around the world and back to the start, therefore, creating a continues cycle. I think at the time, I had some complicated rationale that I also threw in there. Then she immediately looked at me, with this completely perplexed look on her face and says, _oh Timothy, you've been away too long and you underestimate me;_ of course, I'm defiant and argue my mathematical point over a philosophical equation. And Mama just says calmly in the end, _when you meet someone and have children, you'll understand what I mean when I can't define how much I love you and Sofia, and your Mom._ And she said to me, that when I find that kind of love, I should do whatever it takes to keep it. And, out of all the things Sofia and I were taught, all the knowledge and the opportunities, the values and life experiences; nothing compares to that. Because I understand now, I completely get it." Holding his glass up, Timothy waited for Sofia to follow suit and they both looked to Arizona and Callie intently. "We are, so fortunate, so lucky and just in awe of you both and of whom you raised us to be. Everything we are is because of you and…" he trailed off, and raised his eyebrows at Sofia, who tearfully continued.

"And because you brought us up to believe in something, to think and to be humble. You raised us in a home that was never perfect, because life isn't, but when Tim and I were planning tonight, we realised that not once, in our entire memory – our childhood or our life, have we ever questioned your love for each other or for us, or our families. And that, is something to celebrate. So, if we can ask everyone to raise their glasses…" she paused, waiting whilst people hastily tipped champagne from bottles and stilled. "To Abuela and Nan, Mom and Mama; Calliope and Arizona, congratulations on your fifty years of marriage. We love you and here's to a few more years to come."

Holding his glass high in the air, Timothy nodded and added, "To Calliope and Arizona." An echo followed and the distinct sound of clinking glasses and an explosion of laughter and conversation followed quickly. Callie and Arizona were enveloped by hugs and kisses from their family and friends until the flow of dessert plates settled the celebrations momentarily.

Returning to entwine their fingers, Callie and Arizona eased themselves into their chairs, and shared a brief kiss. "Our kids are…" she halted briefly, finding the word, "amazing. We're so lucky."

"The credit is surely ours?"

"Of course Mama…of course."

* * *

><p>"We're old Calliope, we need to accept it," Arizona muttered, groaning as she padded through the house from the front door, heels discarded to the corner of the lounge. "We have children and grandchildren and truth be known, we're not too young to have great grandchildren over the next few years."<p>

"We're not old, because let's face it, one of us is still consulting and you, still give guest lectures and keynote speeches. We're slowing down, but we're not old."

"It's eleven pm and I feel like I used to after working thirty six hours straight, we're not getting any younger."

They fell into silence, going about their evening routine with familiarity and comfort. Arizona poured their glasses of water from the filter in the fridge and placed them on the bedside table, a vitamin each and an antihypertensive pill for Callie. She pulled the duvet down and folded their sheet from the immaculately made bed, fluffing the pillows and placing their favourite hand creams onto the bedside tables.

Callie returned their dresses to hangers as Arizona washed up, flicking the television on to have the news play softly in the background as they settled for the evening. Slipping under the sheet, Callie eased herself back and brushed dark hair away from her eyes and behind her neck; she still wore it long and with only a few grey strands littered around her temples, she was as beautiful as she was when she was in her thirties. Arizona made sure to tell her that most days and the sentiment was always returned. "That really was an incredible night," Callie said quietly as Arizona joined her in bed, groaning as she manoeuvred back against the pillows.

Nodding her agreement, Arizona said, "I know, I don't know how they did it. People that we haven't worked with since Seattle Grace and Residents we trained; and Teddy and Mark, we haven't seen them since what…that reunion five years ago?"

"Mmmm, just after that was Holly's funeral and we talked to them a lot for a while."

"Oh of course, that's right."

"They really struggled."

"Well, look at our two; I can't imagine losing a child."

Callie nodded, adjusting the volume on the television to dip it even lower, taking off her glasses and folding the arms before placing them on the table next to her. "I remember how hard it was when we were trying to have Tim, the miscarriages and failed IVF." She stopped and smiled slightly before murmuring, "Lesbians have it so much easier than they did in our day."

"Oh, and now who is sounding old? Back in _our_ day," Arizona teased, wincing as she sunk further under the covers.

"True, but the success rates and technology, people have no idea what we had to go through to conceive. You know, speaking of Mark and Teddy, I like to think we helped them together, all those years ago."

Arizona slowly nodded, turning her head and meeting Callie's gaze. "They were always good together; they just didn't know it, completely caught up in their careers and other people for so long. And they were incredible friends to us, for a long time weren't they?"

"They were," Callie murmured, "they really were. Still are I think, it was like no time had passed at all when we talked to them tonight." After a few moments silence, tired eyes were still fixed intently on Callie's and she raised her eyebrows. "Are you alright?" she prompted gently.

"Just reflective after tonight, that's all. All the things people said and the photographs, the memories; we've been through a lot."

"We have," Callie agreed, shaking and slightly arthritic fingers reaching up to gently trail down Arizona's cheeks. The loosened skin and lines bore witness to their life together, to years before they met and the lifetime they shared after.

"Any regrets?"

"For our life?"

"Hmm mmm," Arizona confirmed.

Callie contemplated the question, as she always did. Careful to give any of Arizona's genuine and serious questions the consideration they deserved. "Only one," she whispered. "I wish I had met you earlier because it would have meant I could have loved you just a little longer."

A smile curled at the corner of Arizona's lips and her blue eyes glazed with unshed tears. "That's your only regret?"

Nodding, Callie responded, "Yes, my only one. And you?"

"I once wished for that, particularly in my, darkest times I suppose. I know that sometimes, back when we were first married, that I wasn't easy to love all the time. And there were days when I wished you had met me earlier and I could have avoided the…the experiences that I had; that we had."

"You're wrong; you were always easy to love. Were, and still are."

"You have always been too kind to me; but to answer your question, no, I have no regrets. Although if we had gotten those matching tattoos for your seventieth, I might have had one." She smiled through the tears, and Callie couldn't help but laugh. Her wife still made her swell with emotion and laugh like a child; they could still argue passionately over politics and trivia questions, and could easily sit for hours with their hands tightly clasped. After all the years that had passed, they were still as in love as they once were, standing outside the hospital, in the midst of chaos and making promises that they couldn't live without each other. _And their ten kids;_ thank God for only two, they never would have managed ten of the spirited two they raised.

"Good," Callie muttered, "then should we put these tired, aging, _regretless_ bodies to sleep, my wife?"

"Oh yes, I'm exhausted. And we do have to see all of our own tiny humans tomorrow while they're in town."

"We need our energy then."

"There's one other thing, Calliope," Arizona said softly, switching the light off and letting her eyes adjust to the slight natural glow in their large bedroom.

"Mmmm?"

"Happy Fiftieth Anniversary," she murmured, lying on her back and guiding her palm down Callie's forearm until she could slip their hands together. They clutched tightly, fingers slowly gripping as they entwined. "Thank you for a lifetime of love and happiness."

Working hard to roll smoothly on to her side, Callie tipped her chin forward and pursed her lips to Arizona's cheek. She lingered, waiting until she drew a gentle laugh from Arizona. "Thank _you_," she emphasised, falling back and tugging Arizona's hand to press against her hip. "I love you Arizona, more than I ever thought possible."

Silence drifted between them for just a moment. "And I love you," Arizona whispered in return. "Who knew that a kiss in a bar bathroom would have led to this?"

Callie smiled. "It made a good story for the kids."

"Of course. Calliope?"

"Mmmm, my love?"

"Do you know how much I love you?"

Taking a deep breath, Callie moved Arizona's hand slightly, as if tugging to get her attention. "What is the answer to that? For fifty years, I've thought it was just a game with the little ones."

"The answer," Arizona whispered, "is _no_, you don't know."

"Huh?"

"You can't know, because it's impossible to measure. There's no possible way to quantify something so great, so immense."

"Ohhhh," Callie articulated with a long exhalation. "How long have you been waiting for one of us to get that?" she joked.

"Just a while," Arizona replied quickly, voice husky with tiredness and emotion, but her smile was wide. "I think you all got the sentiment over the years."

"So you really still love me that much, Arizona? After all these years and with my saggy breasts and sketchy memory? I'm not the Ortho God that you met all those years ago."

"More Calliope; I love you more." They drifted quickly to sleep then, curtains swaying gently in the breeze and duvet lightly over their waists.

And when the sun woke them early the next morning, they remained, supine and unmoving, their limp hands still resting comfortably together, as if it were the most natural thing in the world.

And it was.

_When we find ourselves_

_At the end of forever_

_Should such a place exist_

_Your hand_

_Calloused by life_

_Will still be held in mine_

* * *

><p><em><strong>Fin.<strong>_


End file.
